TTC Chill out room

[ellieb31]

I'm also trying for the more chilled out approach from now on. Been ttc 6months and I definately was not prepared for how stressed out it would make me feel, and how disappointed every month that goes by without getting preggers. Ive also done the whole argueing with the hubby thing - well more me just getting mad and then crying , just because I felt like all the pressure was on me, as Im the one who is constantly aware and thinking about how my body is feeling.

Anyway last month when af arrived I was hugely dissappointed and I just thought to myself I can't possible carry on putting all this pressure and stress on myself, its not healthy. Like you ladies I decided to give myself a break this month, bding whenever I felt like it, kept busy redecorating in tww, and Im now waiting for af to arrive (prob later to tonite as is usually like clockwork) and I don't feel like bursting into tears! Yey! n thats a real result for me cos Im a super stress head!!! x

I'm really pleased that it worked out for you! I can't help but wondering if I'm fooling myself and will end up with a really hard tww wait again!!

I'm feeling really positive at the moment though and with the holiday, my step-dad's birthday and some decorating during that time, I should be ok I hope. Plus my aunt (who's been living with us for 10/11 weeks so far) will be moving out then which will also be a bit of a stress reliever!

 

[Mrs Luck]

Haha Im with you on the control freak comment, thats definatley me. Its difficult to just let go and let nature take its course isn't it x

 

[xxBubsxx]

Haha Im with you on the control freak comment, thats definatley me. Its difficult to just let go and let nature take its course isn't it x

Glad I'm not the only one!!

 

[ellieb31]

Ellie, I think this is a great idea and just what I need. I love BnB but find all the symptom spotting stuff way too addictive!

I am on CD2 and after a heart-to-heart with my husband I've realised I need to get a grip on things. We've been trying for 10 months now and every month I'm getting more and more stressed during TWW and more depressed when period arrives. I know if I continue like this he's going to want to stop trying - he hates seeing me like this- and I'm goin to drive myself nuts. I wish I could be more like him and just enjoy it but think I'm a control freak by nature!

Eil
xoxox

It's so much easier for men - they just make their deposits and don't have to worry about it much more than that! - it's great that we have them to help us get perspective back every now and again.

I think, for some women at least, you spend years trying not to get pregnant so the last thing you expect is to not be able to get pregnant at the drop of a hat! And you have to make so many plans (move in together, get engaged, buy a house, get married, work long enough for maternity leave ec etc) that you think you can just decide when it's time to get pregnant. I just never expected it to take a long time!

xx

 

[xxBubsxx]

I know you spend years being really careful thinking you could get pregnant dead easily and now it seems like it was a total waste of time! I wish there was some way to turn off the part of your brain that wants a baby so badly. It'd be so much easier to be rational about things if u didn't have that to deal with too!

 

[ellieb31]

I know you spend years being really careful thinking you could get pregnant dead easily and now it seems like it was a total waste of time! I wish there was some way to turn off the part of your brain that wants a baby so badly. It'd be so much easier to be rational about things if u didn't have that to deal with too!

I know what you mean - those broody feelings are very powerful once they've kicked in. I think the only thing is to try and distract yourself while you wait for mother nature to do it's thing.

 

[Mrs Luck]

I'm also trying for the more chilled out approach from now on. Been ttc 6months and I definately was not prepared for how stressed out it would make me feel, and how disappointed every month that goes by without getting preggers. Ive also done the whole argueing with the hubby thing - well more me just getting mad and then crying , just because I felt like all the pressure was on me, as Im the one who is constantly aware and thinking about how my body is feeling.

Anyway last month when af arrived I was hugely dissappointed and I just thought to myself I can't possible carry on putting all this pressure and stress on myself, its not healthy. Like you ladies I decided to give myself a break this month, bding whenever I felt like it, kept busy redecorating in tww, and Im now waiting for af to arrive (prob later to tonite as is usually like clockwork) and I don't feel like bursting into tears! Yey! n thats a real result for me cos Im a super stress head!!! x

I'm really pleased that it worked out for you! I can't help but wondering if I'm fooling myself and will end up with a really hard tww wait again!!

I'm feeling really positive at the moment though and with the holiday, my step-dad's birthday and some decorating during that time, I should be ok I hope. Plus my aunt (who's been living with us for 10/11 weeks so far) will be moving out then which will also be a bit of a stress reliever!

Well heres hoping that the positive feeling stays with you, and by the sounds of things you've got lots to keep you busy, and Im thinking distraction is definately the way forward!!! I am really prone to obsessing, so now this forum is my indulgence then for the rest of my time I WILL think about other things -or I'll try anyway

 

[gilz82]

Well that's me out for the next couple of months now anyway.

My OH phoned tonight and said he wanted to stop trying until we go on holiday in august He thinks I'm getting too stressed with TTC and him working away from home.

I got my right kidney taken out at the tail end of last year and he thinks the stress will be putting too much strain on my body and mind on top of recovering from my op. Suppose the sentiment is lovely but I don't want to stop trying only to start again in a couple of months. We put off trying for so long because I was sick, just want to get on with it now.

Don't really know what to say about it.

Good luck this month ladies
xx

 

[strawberry19]

hey strawbs, pleased to have you here! really hope that this will result in lots of lovely BFP's and good conversation while we all wait!

good luck with your next try, will the docs be keeping a close eye on you or do they not do that until it's become a repeat problem? (if you know what I mean)

yeah i know what you mean but no they arent going to be doing anything which sucks dont think they do here till youve been throught 3.. which hopefully i wont the nurse scanning me said i should have no problems in future x

 

[ellieb31]

Well that's me out for the next couple of months now anyway.

My OH phoned tonight and said he wanted to stop trying until we go on holiday in august He thinks I'm getting too stressed with TTC and him working away from home.

I got my right kidney taken out at the tail end of last year and he thinks the stress will be putting too much strain on my body and mind on top of recovering from my op. Suppose the sentiment is lovely but I don't want to stop trying only to start again in a couple of months. We put off trying for so long because I was sick, just want to get on with it now.

Don't really know what to say about it.

Good luck this month ladies
xx

I really feel for you gilz. We had to stop trying last year because of my health (my endo got so severe that we couldn't have sex anymore) and it was really difficult. It's lovely that your DH is trying to look after you but it must be so frustrating. You might find that just taking the pressure of 'trying' away is enough for it to suddenly happen though. August isn't that far away so do you just miss one cycle of trying?

xx

 

[ellieb31]

hey strawbs, pleased to have you here! really hope that this will result in lots of lovely BFP's and good conversation while we all wait!

good luck with your next try, will the docs be keeping a close eye on you or do they not do that until it's become a repeat problem? (if you know what I mean)

yeah i know what you mean but no they arent going to be doing anything which sucks dont think they do here till youve been throught 3.. which hopefully i wont the nurse scanning me said i should have no problems in future x

Well it's great news that the nurse doesn't think you'll have problems in the future....I'll have all my fingers and toes crossed for you when the time comes! xx

 

[madcatwoman]

I'll join you all

I know alot of you have been TTC for a long time, im only just starting, but im quite chilled about it and have decided not to start charting/testing or anything else, we're just carrying on as before and hopefully things will come right in the end. If there are people out there who can get pregnant while still on the pill, - well it give us all hope- i think.

 

[strawberry19]

thanx hunni xx

 

[ellieb31]

Hi ya Madcat!

That was basically my thinking - loads of women get pregnant just by getting drunk so I might try that method too!!

I just really want to have a nice relaxed summer, lots of bding and good times. Rather than the SA and charting that I'd been thinking about before! Hopefully the stress free route will result in lots of lovely BFP's before the summer's out!

xx

 

[gilz82]

I really feel for you gilz. We had to stop trying last year because of my health (my endo got so severe that we couldn't have sex anymore) and it was really difficult. It's lovely that your DH is trying to look after you but it must be so frustrating. You might find that just taking the pressure of 'trying' away is enough for it to suddenly happen though. August isn't that far away so do you just miss one cycle of trying?

xx

The way it works out I'll miss two cycles. I know it's not the end of the world and there are plenty of people worse off than us I just don't want to stop trying.

Hope your endo is better under control now. My sister has mild endo and I know how bad things have been for her at times.

and
xx

 

[minidyson]

Hello ladies :wave:, can I drag my big comfy sofa over and join you? I will bring wine!!!

I am on CD 12 (roughly!) of my first month of letting go of all the pressure,. I was temping, using OPK's, timing BD'ing and getting nowhere. I am 30 and have been TTC number 1 for over a year. Having tests at the docs, and have been referred.

Am now eating what I like, drinking what I like, having sex when we fancy it, not when we should, and looking forward to a holday in America in September.

Hard not to keep one eye on the date and I am on BNB way less, but it's nice to know there are others out there feeling the same xxx

 

[ellieb31]

Gilz, I'm sorry hun, I hope he changes his mind!

Welcome mini, thanks for the wine! It's really lovely to have some company and I hope I can stick with my stresslessness! My hardest time is normally the tww and I'm on holiday for the first week of it which should really help. I'm also going to come on here a bit less. I love all of the ladies, company and advice but I do find that I end up obsessing a bit if I spend too long on here!

I'm 31 and we started trying for our first in Jan last year so it's been about 18 months now. Not 18 cycles yet though (we had to stop trying for a while) so we've not been along for testing yet. I'm going to wait until summer's over and talk to DH about SA then unless he chooses to go and have it done sooner than that. Let us know how you get on with your testing - I'm interested in learning about the process.

kisses and

 

[gilz82]

It's odd that you said you'd come here less in the tww ellieb31, I was just thinking when we start trying again that's what I plan to do too.

Not because the ladies here aren't lovely, because they are!! But more just because i can keep a handle on my obsessive-ness during tww if I'm just pottering round the house after work , or walking the dog.

As soon as I come on here during tww I'm looking for someone with the same symptoms as me who's got their so I can convince myself
it'll be me this time.

and
xx

 

[ellieb31]

It's odd that you said you'd come here less in the tww ellieb31, I was just thinking when we start trying again that's what I plan to do too.

Not because the ladies here aren't lovely, because they are!! But more just because i can keep a handle on my obsessive-ness during tww if I'm just pottering round the house after work , or walking the dog.

As soon as I come on here during tww I'm looking for someone with the same symptoms as me who's got their so I can convince myself
it'll be me this time.

and
xx

Spot on! Everyone is so encouraging and hopeful that it's hard not to get swept along with it all and you end up practically convincing yourself that your pregnant just because the same thing happened to someone else once. I still want to come here on a regular basis but I'm going to do my best to ignore the pregnancy symptoms thread and any others which may tempt me into symptom spotting.

I think it's good once you have a little circle of friends who all know each others story so you can have normal chat as well as advice on any specific issues you're having. Now I'm just hoping that we all get pregnant and move over to the other forums at the same time!

xxxxxxx

 

[Lyn]

good for you..... its so hard not to stress. I wanted to try that same thing but instead I am doing acucpunture evry week helps me so much I love it. I dont stress out TTC i dont really care about that. its the 2ww that I stress over and test every day untill af shows... its crazy... good luck

Ooh I've been thinking about acupunture good idea x