TTC over 38 phase 2 " THE BUMP BUDDIES "

[Scarlett2]

Hello everyone

Ellie - I hope you are doing as well as can be expected and just to reiterate what others have said, I hope you feel that you can post in here/not post in here as you feel like. X

I just wanted to let you all know (as I have been stressing about it) that they were finally able to give me my scan date on the phone and it's a week tomorrow. I will be 12+3. I'm glad it's resolved but slightly inpatient still - and nervous. X

 

[Left wonderin]

I'm never happy !! Lol...... Was willing ms to go .... Feeling ok the last two days and now worried !!!! 13 Wednesday so I know it will go sometime but still I'm worried !!!! Errrrrrr

 

[Mdc]

Ellie, still thinking of you

Scarlett, great news on the scan. Hoping all goes well today! Cannot wait to see a picture!!!

Left, woohoo! Second trimester right! We are never happy are we I cannot believe you are 13 weeks and from what I have read SO common that you are feeling better because your placenta is taking over and giving you some relief. I will let the veterans who have been through it weigh in. Isn't your scan soon?

Stacey, thanks for your motivational post the other day about weight. Just such a lovely perspective.

Kiley, I hope you are feeling better this week.

Wish, I hope taking the BC is making this real again!

Hi to everyone else!

I got a call this weekend and say they cancelled my scan and of course since it was a holiday I had to wait to today to say what the hell! I guess the other doc that did my other scan was not Ob just Gyn. So why they hell was she doing my scans if she was not supposed to ugh! I liked her and she gave good info so I am not too worried, but still. Luckily the stars were aligned and I was able to reschedule a scan for today about an hour earlier. Today is the day I give half my weight in blood, so I am guessing tonight I am going to be shattered. Overall still fatigued some days, boobs sore, and in the evening the bloat WOW! I did try to find the HB again to no avail, but keep telling myself it is so early it is not surprising (another reason why it would not have gone over well if I had to not get a scan today). Maybe the baby does not like the Doppler so I had hubby hide it and only reveal it once a week I have no self control. One more thing we watched the eighties movie 'She is having a baby' I totally forgot the details but it was pretty funny and even DH shredded a tear toward the end. Ahhhh!

 

[Wish2BMom]

good luck at the scan today, mdc!! I'm glad you got it rescheduled to today too.

 

[Scarlett2]

Hope your scan goes well MDC - let us know how you get on. Sadly mine is a week today not today - another 7 days to wait! (Not sure how I will last).

Today I also feel really really tired. I also woke up this morning and was feeling really dizzy. I'm hoping it's pregnancy related and not illness!

 

[Wish2BMom]

btw, that prune picture freaks me out. Looks like a piece of lava rock or something!!

 

[Mdc]

So it is likely bad news for me. The doc could not find a HB on their US machine (should be 10w4d but looks like it stopped 9w1d) so I am waiting for a follow up higher digital machine in 15 minutes. Figured I should post now because I am likely going to be quiet for a while. So this is likely goodbye for now but I promise I will be back ASAP. Best of luck to everyone and I will be stalking eventually.

 

[Dandi]

Praying for you Mdc!

 

[Left wonderin]

Mdc I'm so sorry , there is no worst feeling in the world when the doc says those words . Make sure and take really good care of yourself over the next while . Its not easy but I promise the good days eventually outnumber the tough ones . Not sure if you have too in for a dnc but if you do ihopeit goes smoothly for you . Ill be thinking of you xxxxxx

 

[Wish2BMom]

oh nooooooo, mdc!!!!
I'm heartbroken for you. I wish I could hug you. Why does this have to be so heartwrenching? Please take care of yourself and come back to us when you can. We're here for you.

 

[StaceyM]

Uggh. I had a horrible appointment with my ObGyn today. He was so condescending that I wanted to slap him. He apparently doesn't want me to ask any questions or read anything in scholarly journals because I won't be able to understand it. It's too complex for my brain to process. He also basically implied that my medication allergies were in my head...even though some of them are anaphylactic. He was so sarcastic and told me that I wear my allergies like a 'badge of honour". WTF. I was this close to telling him that I have a 155 IQ and that I was smarter than him, but I know that would have been dumb and petty, and that I would have regretted it My second job is to do quantitative analysis for studies in...you guessed it!...scholarly journals. I understand how to check the methodology of studies to make sure that they are applicable and relevant to my situation. He knew I was right too because, later on, he relented and he said we would talk about it again at 39 weeks! Besides, I just asked his opinion about a particular situation that I had read about, and that his own colleague had brought up when I saw her a few weeks ago when he couldn't make the appointment! Jeez. And of course, I'm so hormonal and don't want to have a bad relationship with the person who has to check my cervix next week, that I wasn't as articulate as usual. I did defend myself, but not like I should have. I've had second thoughts about him in the past, but he does all of the tests and seems competent so I've tried to put his personality out of my mind. I know it's not entirely him, and just a personality conflict, but I so want to switch OBs. I only have to see him a few more times though and anyone in his group might deliver my baby, so I know it isn't worth it. I think next time, I'll just shut him down by calling him out on being condescending if he does it again. I'm not sure if that is the best course of action, but I don't know what else to do. I don't generally let people stomp on me. I hate that I'm so vulnerable because I need him, and switching OBs in Canada, especially at this point, is next to impossible. Sorry for the rant.

 

[jessiecat]

MDC: Im so heartbroken for you. Let us know how everything goes and how you are doing once you feel like writing about it. I can't believe this happened relatively late- i know you were looking forward to getting to the 2nd tri.

Stacey: I'm sorry your OB is such a butthead. The obs who helped me were barely around during my birth (it was the nurses and my midwife who stayed with me 99.9% of the time during labor). I hope it's the same way with you. He will hopefully only be there at the end of your labor to deliver.

Baby Mo is 1 month old, 9.5 lbs, and still waking every 2 hours or so for feedings. He and i luckily haven't had any problems with latching, but breastfeeding is challenging because of the sheer number of times baby has to feed. I'm not sure if it's worse with boys than with girls. I use the breastpump twice per day but I'm not getting a whole lot of extra milk yet to build a stash. Dad feeds twice per day with the bottled breastmilk just to give me a little break to sleep or take a shower. I've lost 30 lbs already!

 

[Wish2BMom]

jessie - that's crazy about the weight loss! I have a friend who happens to grow big babies and I would watch her cluster feed her boys - holy cow. We had a fantasy football draft at her house and he literally ate the entire time.

 

[elliecain]

Oh Mdc I am so so so gutted and crying and I want to hug you more than anything. This is as bad as you will feel. Ever. It will never feel this bad again, I promise you. I still ache and feel like my world ended 6 days ago, but I'm still here and I'm still hopeful for the future.

Since I can't hug you or hold you or let you cry/scream/rant to me in real life, I'm going to tell you what helped me. Feel free to ignore them if they are not helpful. I hope this doesn't upset you.

1. Accepting that it had happened, but not feeling like I needed to let it go just yet.
2. Metallica. At volume 63 (max) in the car for the whole of my 45 minute commute to work and then home again.
3. Driving through the countryside and doing primal screams at the top of my lungs.
4. Talking to a specialist counsellor after 4 days.
5. Writing down what had happened and how I felt about it.
6. Throwing away my positive pregnancy tests and then finding out I still had the first one in my wallet and being glad that I hadn't thrown it away.
7. Being really fucking angry with the world for shitting on me.
8. Crying as much as I need to and whenever I need to at first and then trying to give myself planned times to cry.
9. Taking it a minute/hour/day at a time.

I've been told it gets easier. I'm still early days, but I'm clinging to that and hoping that it's true. I'm thinking of you and wishing you so much strength for the days and weeks ahead. If you want to message off the board, message me.

 

[Left wonderin]

Ellie that post made me cry . It is so heartfelt and captures perfectly the feelings of loosing a LO .. Well the feelings I had anyway . Many of your pointers are what helped me too . I can specifically relate to Number 1,7,8 and 9 . And I PROMISE hold onto the fact that although you are not ok today you will be ok again . It does get better slowly .... But it does . You will have good days then a bad day/ week ... Then the good days come again . I found this ... It really helped me understand my grief . I think it is beautiful and described how I felt about wanting things to feel better but not wanting to let go or forget ever .

I hope you like it and all those who have suffered a loss too xxxxx

 

[Mdc]

Thank you all so much for your thoughts, you have no idea what it all means to me. Today I feel like I have closure with the completion of the D&C and I feel good. I am trying to be good to myself and hubby is being amazing. I am trying to prepare that there will be good days and bad days, but I have allowed myself to cry, yell, be mad, and scream this is not fair. However I know I/we will be fine and everything happens for a reason even though we are not always able to see why. I hate to go back to TTC, but we will do what it takes to have our take home baby and will appreciate them so much when they finally arrive.

 

[Scarlett2]

Hi Mdc. Sorry it's taken me so long to write that i am really sorry. I will be thinking of you on your TTC journey and hope you will be back soon. You sound like a very strong amazing woman. X

 

[Scarlett2]

Hello. Not sure whether anyone is using this but I thought I'd post and let you know that I had my scan yesterday (finally) and all was well, although they have brought my date forwards by 5 days. (I need to change my ticker!) Anyway Hope everyone is ok. X

 

[KileyJean]

Hello all, sorry I have been quite lately. Have been swamped at work and still am so I am trying to catch up! Fatigue is setting in big time now.

Mdc- It broke my heart reading about your loss. I was so hopeful for you! I am glad you are coping and ready to do whatever it takes to bring a baby home. At least now you know that it is possible to get pregnant. Just need a good healthy bean now! I will be stalking the TTC thread again to check up on all of you.

Stacey- I really hate condescending people or people who think they are holier than thou! That is crappy that its your OB!! How are things with you otherwise?

Jessie- That is awesome about the weight loss! Curiosity got the best of me today and I asked my OB how much I have gained. He said 24 pounds and he is very happy with that. Normal range is 25-35lbs so he is pretty pleased at this stage in the game. He also reminded me that most of that is baby and everything that makes up baby growing. And lots of fluid of course. I am not worried about it and surprisingly not even phased by knowing my weight right now. I am fine with what I see in the mirror and eat 80% healthy and workout 6 days per week. As long as baby is healthy, I am happy. Sounds like little Mo is a fantastic eater!! And that is awesome that your husband is able to give a couple bottles already! My friend recommended to pump for about 10 min after baby is finished feeding to help increase supply and help empty fully. Sounds like you are doing great though!

Ellie- good to hear from you again and that you are coping with your loss. You have been in my thoughts. I like seeing that you are temping again. Good sign that you are moving forward.

Scarlett- Gland you got your scan!! This early in the game, I guess it is fairly common to move your date. And I hear the earlier the scan the more accurate the due date is. How is everything else going for you?

I had a doc appointment today. Started monitoring this week and will go weekly from here out. They strap on two monitors on my belly. One measures baby heart rate and the other measures contractions. Doc said everything is looking great and that I have an uncomplicated pregnancy. His words ---> "so uncomplicated that you are boring me." Doc said she is still measuring exactly on with her due date of Halloween, and is in the 67% percentile, and approximately 5 lbs. Looking to have a 7-8 lb baby. I asked him how long he lets you go over and he said until 42 weeks, however does not think that will happen with me since I am petite. If he had to guess, he thinks I will go a little early or right on. I of course hope she decides to make an early arrival simply because I am so anxious to meet her and due to my current comfort level. Fatigue has fully set in and sleeping has become difficult with how uncomfortable I get. It is even tough to get comfortable on the couch so I now lay down in bed to watch tv at night. Even though I complain about it sometimes, I am extremely grateful for this experience and can finally see the end in sight. And I know all of this discomfort will be totally worth it! Oh, and he tried to get a 3D pic of her face, but she had it buried. Said he will try again next week.

 

[StaceyM]

Hey Scarlett. I'm glad you are doing so well. It's hard to wait for the scan date, but I actually didn't mind (mine were late too). Since I have so few scans, I would rather them be later than earlier, to be honest. Congrats on the second trimester. Hopefully you will get some relief... I was better after 17 weeks or so.

Left, Kylie - Are you two still doing ok?

How is everyone else doing?

Gremlin had turned head up at my 35 week appointment (despite being head down the entire pregnancy), which was unsettling. She's been doing flips in there for the past 3 days so I think she's righted herself again. I guess it's a good sign that I have enough room for her to still move around easily and that she seems to have enough fluid to do so. She's been pretty active. My husband was playing with her through my belly, which was weird, but pretty awesome also. I was pretty nervous around week 30 about my age, and whether that would create any issues for gremlin at this point. In my province I'm not considered high risk, despite being 40 next month, which caused me some concern. My province decides risk based on health rather than age. My doctor tells me to stop worrying, and that I am doing exceptionally well. I was really pragmatic about everything early on, but at this point I've become so invested that the thought of anything bad happening makes me nervous, even when there is no reason to worry On a more positive note, I will be full term one week from today