The witchy hasn't shown herself yet but the backache and belly cramps are in bloom. I feel like I did last month. My boobs are falling out of my bra, my veins in my chest are super blue/green. My emotions are wacked out. I haven't tested. I am scared to death. Not to see a negative, but to see a positive. I am afraid to have another miscarriage. I don't have to pee as much as I did last month, but I don't drink much. I wish I had waited one month before I started trying again. How do women get over this paralyzing fear? I am stunted from testing for fear of being pregnant when that is the thing I want most. It's insane! Every pain I feel, cramp, or backache is staggering my days. The pain I felt from that miscarriage was awful. I am a praying woman. I love my God. I know His ways are past understanding, but this is very difficult. I am scared out of my mind to get a positive pregnancy test. I am on the list for the asylum. I should be top name on that list. I am headed to Walmart later for a supply of tests. Even if I am not pregnant I will still keep pushing myself farther along Crazy Road. I have to be nutty to keep trying despite all losses.. I guess maybe that's the point of living though. Sorry about the crazy rant.. My hormones are wacky. : ((