Tubal Reversal ladies, just moved from WTT!!!

[BrandiCanucks]

I want to see that line get darker for you, Angie!!

 

[AngienDaniel]

Brandi, either that line will go away in a few hours as my period is due in the morning, or it will continue to get darker.. I am leaning toward it is going to get darker... I am wrong a lot though, but for some reason, I am pretty sure that line will not just disappear in a few hours. I think I might actually be pregnant. It is 14 days past trigger for me and I am 12dpo today..
It is a pretty light line though so it might just be gone before daylight..

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I'm really hoping it does for you! You soooooo deserve this!

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I realized earlier today that today is my 2 year TR anniversary. Honestly, the best choice I made and so thankful to the doctor for reversing and having it be successful.

 

[cupcakestoy]

Hope your line is darker tomorrow!

 

[AngienDaniel]

I decided that there really is a possibility that my darker positive FRER could be trigger still yet. My period is (normally) due tomorrow so my result should be valid some time tomorrow. It's hard to say though as I did not have a normal cycle. I am probably setting myself up for heartache cause there is nothing normal about an IVF cycle. I am just gonna wait for my beta.. Come along Tuesday... Tuesday, Tuesday!!

Brandi, my tubal reversal was the single most pointless trial I have ever had the misfortune of having to have ever endured (in hindsight) and was a huge waste of time, finances, and emotional energy. I would NEVER recommend someone to have their tubes untied and would encourage whole-heartedly for everyone to go straight to IVF. It was such a waste for me..
Tubal reversals are hope-crushers for anyone that has anything other than the clips.. I had had mine cut and burned and they were just ectopic traps after reversal.
Hindsight really is sucky as I would have saved my 6000 and had a baby by now..

I would be more thankful I suppose if I were to finally succeed but I am slightly bitter...

God does have His plan for each of us though so we press on..

 

[AngienDaniel]

I forgot to upload the walmart cheapie test.. This was my latest test. I darkened the lighting a little bit but I am pretty positive it's getting darker.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I completely understand your perspective, Angie. You've had such a rough go when all you deserve is that keeper baby. When you mention clips, that's what I had, and only had them for a little over 2 years. I was also 27 when I reversed so there were a lot of factors in my favour.

I really wish I was closer to you because I would instantly, in a heartbeat, be a surrogate for you if that was an option you and hubby ever chose.

 

[AngienDaniel]

That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me.. I am such an emo mess... That was so nice, Brandi. I asked my sister once if she would do that (when my tubes were still tied) and she never even hesitated and said 'no way'.. I think surrogacy is one of the most beautiful things a person can do for someone else. I have often asked God to allow me to do that for someone, but I can't even get my own yet.. I was 32 when I got my tubes untied and they had been tied for nearly 12 years..
I hope my journey ends with this healthy pregnancy and I can count it all worth it.. I guess I will count it all worth it even if I have to go a few years more..

 

[Jenafyr4]

I pray for you Angie. Your walmart cheapie is darker than my 11dpiui test, 13dpt...so dont loose hope. Easier said than done i know. I have the pic, its just saying to large to upload

 

[cupcakestoy]

I agree with you Angie! 3 years for me in November & only heartache & lots of wasted money to show for it, needless to say, I have not been an advocate for tr. I think its a cruel ploy that is made to look like everyone gets a happy ending which is a blatant lie. A lot with clips or excessively long tubes left after are successful, but the others are only usually successful at losing babies or the remainder of their tubes due to ectopic. We could have done a cycle & a half of ivf for what we've spent already..... Sorry for the rant, but im bitter too :/

 

[Navygrrl]

I had clips plus 9cm on both sides. I've never even had the hint of a line. With the surgery plus the IUIs, I could have had at least one full IVF with ICSI cycle. It sucks, but I keep praying that the rest of you get your take home babies. I'm resigned to the fact that we're done, and 99% of the time I'm okay with it.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I also don't come in here as often because seeing so many of you struggle to get pregnant when it's been nothing for me makes me feel bad sometimes. What makes me more deserving of TWO TR babies in less than 2 years than everyone else is deserving of even one? Nothing.

I hate seeing everyone struggle and wish I could just give all of you babies to keep. I would love nothing more than to do so for all of you.

 

[AngienDaniel]

I agree, Cupcake.. If I had known then, I would NEVER have fallen for the tubal reversal lie.. I lost so many pregnancies and put my family through so much heartbreak and loss...Now I put them through the financial struggle of IVF. I know I got the job and Starbucks and the insurance covered most of the stuff but we still spent almost 4000 oop just for the travel and meds and deductibles.. I made my family scrimp and save so I could do IVF and if it fails, I would probably want to try again soon. I would definitely save my pennies for IVF, but if I could do it over again, I would NEVER have had my tubes untied and I would def tell everyone I know that it is a bad idea...

I am so bitter most days that I hate every pregnant woman I see even though I really don't. It makes me sad... for me.. It makes me sad that the losses and the struggle have forced me to see such a beautiful blessing as such an envious need and want in my own heart.
I hate ttc. I hate IVF. I hate the desire I have to have more children. I hate that my heart is now bitter. I think that each of us would like to cut that desire out of our own hearts most of the time.. I wish I was like you, Navy, and I could be content, but it burns inside me and I would rather die than let it go.. I am so stubborn...

 

[cupcakestoy]

Hey Navy, I have been wondering where you ran off too! Glad your at peace with your journey. I'm no where as bitter as I used to be, thanks to God taking it away from me, but I can say it does sting to be reminded of my failures. Oh well......I guess we all have a different path we must follow for a reason.....
Brandi-Wasn't trying to make you feel bad. I don't understand why its so easy for some either. I watch people around me pop out kids like its nothing, & its hard to not be jealous, especially when those babies are pushed to the side & not given the love & attention they deserve!
Angie-I'm sending up prayers that this is your thb! It vindicates my struggle to see a sister who knows the struggle succeed & boosts my hope!

 

[AngienDaniel]

Well, I wish I could succeed and boost your hope, Cupcake....
My lines are not getting darker. They are pathetic little strips of stupid and I KNOW they are not looking darker. I seriously cannot understand as I should start my period today and it sure feels like it, but the small little barely there line is taunting me, letting me know that I am one of those freaks whose trigger stays around forever. Even if I were to magically end up pregnant, the line is so light that I know it won't end good. Even with all my losses, the line was darker. I do pretty bad with fmu so I will do another test with smu, but I am counting myself out.
The hubby said he wanted to try again right away. That means that he will be working himself to death the next few months..

I am sad and I wish that God would give us a miracle. I know I don't deserve it, but I would ask for it anyway. I am tired of scrimping and saving.
I know that line CANNOT be from my trigger. There is no way.. I had my Trigger shot on Thursday Sept 10 at 1am. The line is not going away and it is not getting any darker and I am dying here... It's 15 days past my trigger. I am 13 dpo.. I do have a horribly slow metabolism though. I really think that I am prepared for whatever comes, but I know that it sucks to have that line taunting me day after day with no change. It has seriously been the same darkness for at least 4 days.. No kidding. I wish I could just stop testing and after the last 3 tests I have are gone, I am not buying any more. I have two digital/2 way tests and one walmart cheapie. I have spent enough money on tests for sure.. I will use the digital tomorrow if my period still has not shown which I don't even know if it will while on the progesterone... Just three more days.. Not too far really, but it seems so important.
I just don't want to be on the day of my beta and not know what to expect as it's so hard when the doctor calls you and you don't know what the results will be as emotion is too hard to handle and I hate people hearing my struggle. I am praying we are prepared before then. I don't see why we shouldn't be, but honestly I never thought I would get to the day of my supposed to be 'normally' period day and still be wondering.. The tests should be just saying...."You have two lines, you are pregnant" but they aren't so straightforward..

UGH!! I wish I could just quit talking about it and thinking about it.. I got a box of tests that read both digital and two lines yesterday so I will take one of those in the morning and another on Sunday morning and then beta at the crack of dawn on Monday..
If my line is fake, or from the trigger, I will not be able to ever test again unless its a beta 6 months after my procedure cause this has been too much trouble.

 

[Jenafyr4]

I pray for all you ladies on a daily, even the ones who dont struggle. I have so mant friends who have fertility issues and have never had a TL or TR.

We all have demons that taunt us in one way or another. I never wanted to only have 1 TR baby, however thats a cruel fact I'm facing I too wish I could give you all a take home baby. My journey had its ups and downs, but I can sure carry a baby...

Angie... I'm hoping todays test is darker...

 

[cupcakestoy]

Jen-I never had a m/c until after tr, always was induced as the little boogers didn't want to come out! LoL I know I'm older & we have mfi, but I believe my short tubes also play a role in our losses... Hoping ivf will be successful for us, since we bypass my tubes & use the best sperm & egg sorry your struggling sweetie. I can't imagine going thru the tr to have a lo with the man of your dreams, only for it to become a bad dream ....
Angie- I'm sorry your in limbo. I know a definite answer is sometimes all you want. Hugs to you!

 

[Jenafyr4]

Its the nightmares that control my days.... I dont know how to help that. Its hard when you love someone and built a family. All my hopes for the future have just been pulled from under me. I try to be happy and stay busy, but I just want my love home. I dont wanna let go, but my reality is telling me its time :/

 

[cupcakestoy]

Sometimes to save yourself you have to let go....hope he figures out how big of a mistake he's made before its too late