Tubal Reversal ladies, just moved from WTT!!!

[fluterby429]

I agree you're pregnant! I agree with Brandi and say call the company about your crap tests! They will usually refund you.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

The explanation for only a slight more darkness in tests could be that your numbers are rising, just not as quickly as mine did. Mine skyrocketed, literally. I also recall my 12 and 13 dpo tests did not look very different. In fact, I thought the 13dpo was actually lighter than the 12 and freaked out. All has been progressing well so far though.

 

[AngienDaniel]

I was pretty upset about the digitals, but after my husband yelled at me and said that I had two lines and was being silly, I realized that I was being an idiot because I do have two lines and I am 16 days past trigger so it can't be that. Even if my lines are not darker, they are there and I should be thankful for that.
No joke though, I am freaking nuts! My emotions are seriously Jekyll/Hyde. I can be so loving one minute and want to destroy the world the next. I don't have any pregnancy symptoms though, but with both of my living children, I had no pregnancy symptoms at all so I don't really mind too much about that. I am having cramping and backache just like my period is about to start...probably worse since I normally have very easy three day periods. I actually got a tylenol today with the intent on taking it, but it went away.
I am good though with the decision not to test anymore. I figured it would be tough but it isn't too bad. I just got one more day though so I think that has a bit to do with it. I also worked things out with my husband so I know how he will feel either way it goes cause I have been so worried about disappointing him.

As for the tests, I can't even imagine the circumstances that would make it to where I would get two question marks in row. I was so angry as I had to drive 30 minutes to get that thing.. 24 bucks down the tube.. I figure that was my wake up call to stop testing. I would love to see pregnant on a digital, about the same as I would love to see dark lines after all of my losses, but I won't die if I don't. The stress from testing was tough though. I will be posting on Monday evening when I get my results whether good or bad.. I pray it's good, but I am ready now for whatever comes....well, after a good cry (if needed) anyway..
Thanks girls for encouraging me. I have felt so emo today. I appreciate the help keeping me positive. It's been hard to keep myself optimistic.

 

[fluterby429]

Hoping you get big great numbers at your beta today

 

[Jenafyr4]

I think her betas are tomorrow.

 

[fluterby429]

Oh ok. I thought it was today and Wed. Either way hope all is well

 

[Jenafyr4]

So did I...

AFM.... Babygirl measuring right on track. Previa completely corrected now. She weighs 6lb 12oz. Dr anticipates she will weigh 8lbs at birth if I deliver at 38 weeks, so now I wait.

 

[~Brandy~]

Darn I thought angies betas were today so I checked in! Gl Angie. I think your pg.

Jennifer that's awesome about the placenta I can't wait to see your little girl! I'll be watching Facebook for the announcement.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I thought it was today, too, and results would be tomorrow.

 

[AngienDaniel]

I went this morning and had my beta and it's at 25. Too low to be a viable pregnancy really.. Especially at 15 or 16 dpo which is what I am.. I am accepting and slightly angry really. I believe that I would rather never be pregnant than to be pregnant and lose another baby. I think this is utterly ridiculous. I will go back Wednesday and have my next test, but I am so fed up with this garbage that I just don't care anymore. I am supposed to drag out this going to be miscarriage until my beta on Wednesday.. God hates me. He really does, cause He could have just let me not be pregnant at all, but He hates me so much that He figures to give me another baby and take it right back..
Yay me.

 

[fluterby429]

Angie this is from my lab as far as hcg numbers. Don't lose hope. Numbers have to start somewhere. I'm not religious so I can't offer anything to help you feel differently about your God but I hope that things are moving in the right direction. I do believe everything happens for a reason and sometimes it takes is awhile to figure out what those reasons are. Hang in there. Sending you love and a big hug

 

[AngienDaniel]

the number of 25 is beyond low under any circumstance for 16dpo and that's what I am today. I know that numbers have to start somewhere and usually I am on the 'freakish' end of every circumstance, but having hope right now when all seems so bleak is pointless to me. The hubby and I have decided that we will try again and again and again, but there is obviously something bad happening when it comes to implantation for me. It is a painful thing to be pregnant and wait for it to end badly. I have lost 8 pregnancies now, not counting my last failed IVF as that didn't even result in pregnancy. Daniel and I have agreed to keep moving forward. I am struggling with it myself and feel callous and uninterested really. I will do it for him though as he has done it for me all these times. I hate the idea of having to continue the medicine as it enhances my failure.... I am having trouble wrapping my mind around another loss. I woke up feeling so positive.
I am very religious, but I must admit that I am the type of person who thrives on emotion and not logic. I love my God, but I don't even pretend to understand why He has made us to suffer so much. I guess I try to convince myself that since I love Him, He will give me all the things I ask for when obviously that is not, and should not be the case. When I am faced with disappointment, I can only be angry and sad that my Friend did not help me, as I feel that a friend should always be there, but you are right---Everything happens for a reason and He knows more than me so I love Him anyway. If He needs this baby more than I, then He can take it with my blessing. I am gonna be okay with it. The only way through is forward, right?

 

[cupcakestoy]

Angie-Sorry you didn't get a higher # & while its true that is lower than average, it is a +! I've been on both ends, with my 1st loss my # was 560s, my last was a measly 16, but I've seen others have a thb with a lower #. Not trying to give you false hope, but don't throw in the towel before necessary! As far as God hating you, that's just not true! He loves us all, when we hurt, I believe it hurts Him as well. It's true that He can do whatever He wants, but since we live in a sin sick world he it doesn't always go the way we want it too. I prayed & cried out to God with both my losses & the answer was still "no" But I do know He never left me, even when I was mad at Him & can't understand. Somethings we won't know til we get to heaven & I've had to learn to accept that & go on. It's ok to ask why, be mad & question His will, just as long as your open to His answer or no answer at all :/ I'll continue to pray for you, you continue to lean on Him & ask Him to just hold you during this phase of your life! Much love & prayers girl!

 

[fluterby429]

Have you been tests for fibroids or endodermtriosis? I know a TR sister that found out that she had both plus scar tissue on her uterus so it was very difficult for baby to implant. She had all that cleaned up and is moving forward with her 3rd fresh cycle (plus she did an FET). My wonder is if there is an underlying condition that is causing your embryos to not develop properly since you've had so many miscarriages and your embryos tend to not grow during IVF cycle. Has any RE's suggested testing? If you miscarry, I would collect what you pass and ask for it to be tested. These are just some thoughts. There has to be an answer.

 

[AngienDaniel]

Thanks Cupcake. My tirade to God lasted 5 minutes or less and I knew that I was gonna have to accept my predicament anyway. I am not really angry, just wish it could be different. I never really got a negative test so I know this won't end well. Just wish I knew why this keeps happening to my pregnancies.. So much money to keep wasting..
I keep trying to tell myself that at least I am pregnant, but that really just sucks when there is doom and gloom in my heart. Even if my number doubles, the likelihood of miscarriage before 8 weeks is so incredibly high because I am on the freakish end of failure.
I don't even want to scrimp and save to try again. At least not today. Today I want to be a crybaby and grieve my babyless arms.
I have two children. I don't understand why I can't carry a baby when I have living children. It baffles me because everything has come back normal with me and Daniel. I figure that I am a late implanter in normal circumstances, and I know that my number has been very low this whole waiting period as it was very light and did not get darker, but for it to be just 25 does not bode well. I read somewhere that high hcg gives lots of symptoms and I have never had symptoms during pregnancy, but even with all that research I know that 75% of women that start out with a very low number end up with a loss. Plus I have had constant backache and cramping throughout this wait and every single loss was preceded by horrid lower back pain which I have daily..

She wants me to wait until Thursday to do my repeat beta, but I will be at the lab bright and early Wednesday morning. I am not waiting for them as two days will show doubling, not three and there is no valid reason for them to want me to wait and stress..

Fluter, I had a diagnostic laparoscopy surgery and that is how they found out my tube had ruptured. That's when they removed them both. Everything in there was nice and shiny. No endo, no nothing... The doctor took a thousand pictures and it seriously didn't have a single mark inside.. He said it was perfect except for my water tubes and a little bit of scarring around my reversal scar.

 

[fluterby429]

Thinking about you this morning Angie

 

[Jenafyr4]

Thinking of you as well Angie

 

[~Brandy~]

Thinking positive thoughts for you Angie!

I thought this might be helpful for some.. We know about HCG and how to read the numbers so this is nice to go around the doctors. https://www.bloomberg.com/news/arti...-out-labcorp-to-let-consumers-order-own-tests

 

[AngienDaniel]

It will be later today before I get my results. I am not really too anxious about it surprisingly. I actually didn't even go get it done until almost 11am as I debated about doing it, and I wouldn't have done it at all if I wasn't on blood thinners.. Plus, I will need the ending results for when we try again. I don't feel doomed though. I feel so completely normal it's scary. I always felt my failure before but it is quiet this time..
I will be glad to be at the end of this..
I read that article, Brandy and I think it is an awesome idea to be able to get whatever tests you want, whenever you want. I know that for being able to do betas, that would be awesome.. Could be addictive and/or expensive for us obsessive peeps though..
I will update later today with the beta results.. Hopefully they come back before the office closes today..

 

[AngienDaniel]

I just noticed that today I am 5 weeks.. I always have my second 'doom and gloom' beta on this day...
*sigh*