Tubal Reversal ladies, just moved from WTT!!!

[AngienDaniel]

I have been busy getting over the holiday. I hope everyone is well. I have just been hanging around home. The contest announces it's finalists tomorrow and I guess I am scared...
I am going to go to the place you went, Fluter, if everything doesn't work out with the contest. I am not sure when I will have the finances to go.. probably tax time.. I sure won't be able to afford the clinic I just went to. Blah!
I sometimes wish we would just have our baby already so we could just not care about babies anymore. I just can't give up though.. I don't even know how to bring it up with the hubby anymore.. I think we both are just tired of saving money for me to fail. Man, I wish we had been one of those that succeeded...even with our first IVF.. Even with our second. I don't believe my baby would have attached if it had not been for my tube. It did not even start getting dark until 16dpo which is disaster from the start.
Well, I don't have anyone to talk to about all this stupid, pointless, baby stuff but you guys..

I hope you all are well and had a wonderful Thanksgiving.

 

[fluterby429]

Hi Angie. I hope you make it into the finals! Did they announce today? I hope you've been reading on the page. You can see there are many women that have struggled. Pam is a long time TR sister of mine and she and her husband just completed their 4th IVF (3 fresh and one FET) she is not giving up. They plan on having her TR redone. Her tubes are both blocked now. Shes had a very long journey. Her TR was the same month and year as mine. She is such a ray of positivity and she has a deep rooted faith.

Anyway, I always hope to come in here and see a surprise.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

This child will never have a name.

Every name I pick is hated, and I'm so sick of the negativity and teasing and disgust behind the names that I announced that her name is Helga. It's not really, and it won't be, but I'm back to square one trying to pick a name, which is 100% impossible with the middle name I've picked. Ugh.

Of course, the name I'm loving now is one I CAN'T use either. I LOVE Lilah, but my friend Natalie has a daughter named Layla, so I can't do Lilah Natalie because it's just awkward and stalkerish to have a Lilah Natalie when they are Layla and Natalie.

So I thought about Delilah and passed it through a Baby Names Group and I'm still getting the opinion that even Delilah Natalie is awkward and stalkerish. I can't find anything I like.

 

[fluterby429]

Umm first just let me say, it's your baby, you name her whatever you want. Second let me say I'm so happy to hear it's not Helga and I'll leave it at that lol I like the original name

 

[BrandiCanucks]

Just go with it on Facebook like it really is Helga. I'm keeping her name secret til birth otherwise...mostly because I have no clue what it'll be. But for now, she's "seriously" Helga lmao

 

[fluterby429]

Haha when I saw you post her new name I seriously made a crinkled face. That name reminds me of a witch with a big wart on her nose. Idk why, but it does.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

My mother went into a fit of rage after that post, started texting me "You make a stupid post like that after I help you?" (She lent me $20 for gas for a day)...she went on and on about it. Helga was the closest name I could find to Olga (my mother's name) and since she's so dead set against Emelia and being immature about it and loves to throw her opinion in about how it's blah and not unique enough and doesn't match my other kids, I figured I'd just call her Helga because it's close to my mother's name and my mother should be honoured that a child will have a name close to hers and that'll make her shut up.

 

[cupcakestoy]

Hey gals, sorry I've been MIA.

Flutter I'm sorry for your loss.

Brandi-Name your kid what you want!

Angie- Hugs lady! Don't give up!

 

[AngienDaniel]

Brandi, I secretly called my little one Lorelei Carmen Estelle. It's a goddess name that means 'siren', but I like mythology and thought it was unique. If I ever succeed and have a daughter, that is what her name will probably be. Carmen means song I think and I can't remember what Estelle means, but my younger sister and my great grandma's name is Estelle and the meaning if I recall was girly and Carmen is because of my grandmas sister who died a few years back and she was a wonderful lady.
Anyhow, I hope you pick a name you love. I also like the name Sophie. I let my Mom name my little girl cause I couldn't decide even after she was born. Girl names are such a big deal.. Make a big list and maybe ask your kids what they like if that's an ok option for you. Just make sure any name you put on the list is something you like or else Poopy McStupidpants might be your wee ones name. ha ha ha..

I have had a horrid morning.. I was being nosey and using Google to look up who had an Amazon wish list cause my husband's brother had posted his link. My husband had told me last night that everyone could see the wish list and I did n't know that so I wanted to view mine and make sure no sexy drawers or anything of that nature was listed as I didn't know it was a public thing.. Anywho, I found out that my husband's ex-wife is pregnant, and not only that, she got pregnant the same month she got married which was June and she is due the first part of March. It almost broke my heart and I felt intense anger. At her, at God, at myself... I have lost every single baby I have conceived, but she gets pregnant first month and is healthy as a fat pig. All while she still gets 1800$ every single month for child support even though it was modified last July to be lowered to 1000$ and she still doesn't report the change to child-support, nor has the CS office lowered it so we have to pay another lawyer to get it enforced. So my husband is technically paying for her pregnancy and her new baby. She does not work.
All the while I have been posting my trying to have a baby by that stupid contest and my husbands brother writes me on Facebook after deleting himself from 'following' me a month before and says how he is going to vote for us, blah blah blah.. Makes me sick knowing that they sit back and talk about my losses while probably bragging and bragging about how she got knocked up on 'the very first try'... I swear I think my poor heart can't take much more..
Just waiting now for my exes new wife to pop one out.
Me and the hubby got into it last night as he never mentions trying anymore and even when he talks about 'future' things he never says, "our kids" or "our grandkids' like he used to. Makes me feel like such a failure. I feel double that today. I am so sick of trying to have a baby. By the time I succeed I will be so old and emotionally beaten by the battle that I will probably regret the struggle. I will never understand why God would damage our hearts and lives, but allow her and her new husband to succeed at every single thing. Makes it tough as I even have to file taxes apart from my husband this year because she gets all of our money even though last years modification made it to where we have no arrears, but the child support office has not enforced it so she gets our money even though it's not hers.
We are supposed to meet my husbands brother and his wife on the 23rd of December for dinner somewhere and I find it hard to be kind because she is still 'his sister' from what my husbands brother says about the ex.. Not me.. I am not a sister, I am just Daniel's wife and this is the first time meeting the sister in law for me and only the second time meeting the brother..
Trying to pray about it, but I feel like I am not really having the right mind-set so I am finding it difficult.
I just don't understand how stuff works sometimes..

Hope everyone else is having a better day than me..

 

[BrandiCanucks]

I'm sorry you're having a rough time, Angie. I can't imagine the hurt you must feel from seeing it come so easily to others when they don't deserve it.

If there was any way to make it work, I know there's quite a distance, but I would offer my womb as a surrogate for you to have your forever baby. Sometimes it doesn't happen in the way we want it to, because there is a plan for that as the end result, just along a different path. Obviously, I have to have this one and give some time for my body to heal but if that's ever something you'd consider, and if it could work out despite the border and distance, I'd offer in a heartbeat.

 

[AngienDaniel]

Brandi, you really are an amazing woman.. My own sister wouldn't do that for me back before I got my tubes untied. She has 6 children and at the time was in her late 20's but she refused and laughed at my audacity to ask. The hubby and I are looking toward adoption. I know I have to face the fact that something is happening when it comes to implantation for me. I don't know if it is an egg issue, sperm issue, or a lining issue. We are planning to adopt if I do not conceive this early year. My hubby wants to just adopt straight out and not put my body(my mind mostly) through another loss but I so badly want to have a baby that is 'ours' biologically and if that fails, we will adopt. If you seriously would be willing to do that, I would be able to compensate you. Probably not near as much money as it would be worth, but it wouldn't be pennies either. Listen at me going on and on.. You say 'chance for baby' and I go nuts..
Lots of questions you would have to ask yourself though.
Would you be sure that you could carry someone else's baby and then give it up after ward?
How much money would you want to be compensated? Surrogacy is expensive on heart, mind, and pocketbook and deserves it.
Would you be willing to carry two babies if that happened? If I wanted? (Compensation extra of course.)
Would you be willing to do the fertility drugs it requires for a frozen transfer?
Would you be willing to sign a contract with me for the baby and the compensation?
My husband can't travel to a different country yet and I don't know when he will be able so would you be able and willing to send us photos of the baby growing and how your health is and if you needed anything, like icecream in the middle of the night?
Would you be okay with me telling my child that you were their carry-Mommy?
That's a big gift you offer and I find myself amazed by it. It is an emotional offer though too. Lots of questions and money would have to be discussed for sure and I would want you to be sure you would not change your mind as I think my soul would die if that were to happen to me. Plus, putting your body through the struggle would be a big decision. If after you have your little one and if I fail at the IVF I plan at the first part of the year, and you still feel that you can confidently offer that to me again after you think about it for a time and your baby is born and you recover, then I would sincerely take you up on that offer. It's an offer to have a baby that's genetically mine instead of adopting one and I would rather pay you thousands of dollars than the state.
You made me ramble on and you made me cry. Today I felt like God has to be angry at me for punishing me so often and breaking my heart, then you go and say something beautiful. Even if you changed your mind, it's still such an awesome thing to make me feel better when I felt so down on myself. You're so awesome!

 

[BrandiCanucks]

There is a surrogacy clinic near me, and after my second child, I asked for an information package. I had intended to register and help other families but my husband at the time wasn't comfortable and would not allow me to register. Knowing that for my last three children, I had to use a donor to conceive, I understand the deep desire for a baby and needing to look at other options. Matt has helped me immensely to extend my family, without asking for anything in return except travel expenses. For both Asher and this baby, I travelled to him.

I've had two miscarriages, in between Zoe and Isaiah (late 2007, and early 2008) but I believe it had to do with my body just not being ready to carry so soon, and I had endometriosis. The endometriosis was taken care of and I conceived only weeks later. The doctor who did my reversal said there was no evidence of endometriosis during the surgery.

In Canada, we cannot accept compensation. It's actually illegal, and being on this journey with you the last few years, I couldn't bring myself to accept anything anyway. I know how much you want this, and I want this for you too. You so deserve it.

It is absolutely something that we can discuss and you can discuss with your husband to see if he's on board. I'd like to give my body at least 10 months after this baby is born, before trying to get pregnant again, but it is absolutely something I'd be willing to do. There would be lots to work out, detail wise, in the meantime. I'll have to get my passport, of course, and I can travel there for the tests and implantation and stuff, but it will probably be easier for me to deliver here, in which case, I'd likely go the c-section route so that you can plan to be here for the delivery too, even if your husband can't.

 

[AngienDaniel]

How about we give it until next December and see what's going on then?
I have to admit that I don't feel that no compensation is a good law to have. It is trying on a person's mind and body to carry a baby and that really does deserve some kind of 'appreciation gift.' It really isn't a very good law and would make my heart feel heavy to not help you with any burdens as you would literally be carrying mine.
I would so want to be there. I would actually want to be there the whole time, but that would lead to divorce so probably not a good idea.
I am still amazed that you would offer such a precious thing to me. I have to say that I would try to find a way to get around the compensation law as I feel that it is unjust.. Even if it was just an IRA or something that I put money into.
I have failed two IVF cycles already. The possibility of me succeeding is slim, especially since it is so expensive.
I was so distraught yesterday that I deactivated my Facebook. I also felt beat down by the fact that the ex had the one thing so easily that I can't do. I don't know if God will ever allow me and the hubby to have a baby of our own, but I do know that I can't pretend that God doesn't give options. My hubby was sad that I was upset because 'she has everything' (which is the stupid way I phrased it.) He said that "he would rather she be able to have a thousand babies than that she be married to him instead of me. If never having a baby is the price he had to pay to be married to me then he was glad to give it up." Made me feel a little better..

Daniel has already started his overtime experience. He is working all of his days off that he can. I feel sorry that he has to do that. I am planning for me to go to Texas in my March cycle. If he wants to take his vacation and go too, then that would be great but I am not going to make him use his only vacation time as I can make my son go with me. I guess I will wait until we have enough money to pay for it before I set anything up. I am nervous about trying again. My belly has still not healed fully from my surgery in Oct. I also have been trying to lose the weight I put on. Can't really be dieting and getting ready to ttc too. I have to though as my weight is unacceptable for me. Guess I better start taking my vitamins again too. The hubby is going to ask our lawyer if there is any way he can get around the passport thing until they get all that junk straightened out. If not, then I will just have to carry his part to the clinic when it is needed. I really like that the doctor there doesn't seem to over-stimulate people. I believe that is why most of my eggs did not make it at this last clinic as I always ovulate on cd 11 and I didn't get to do my trigger until around cd16. I really believe they waited too long and my eggs were too grown. I also like how everyone seems to like the doctor. I have to admit that I am nervous about staying alone, but I have never been to Mexico and I have always wanted to go. I think my son will enjoy it too. Hopefully it will be warmer there.
I have one more year to try to beat this. It seems like too short a time really. I can't believe that it has been almost 4 years since I got my tubes untied. Time has went by so quickly. I rambled again.

 

[BrandiCanucks]

Here's a website in the meantime if you want to look into what it entails here. I did find out that if the baby were born here, you'd have to stay here until the birth certificate comes in, which is about 10 days if you apply for it online. Cross-border stuff says if you're flying, baby needs a passport, but if you're going to drive across, you only need the long-form birth certificate.

The only thing we are legally allowed to accept as compensation is costs related to the pregnancy...meds, prenatals, childcare for appointments, travel, etc. The website above breaks down the average cost for everything.

https://www.surrogacy.ca/services/the-cost-of-surrogacy.html

Please keep me posted on if you would like to or need to proceed. December sounds great! You'll get your keeper, one way or another!

 

[~Brandy~]

First thats amazing Brandi to offer. Even if it were to not work out I commend you for the offer you've extended to Angie.

Secondly... The baby names. I picked my first 2 childrens names willy nilly. I saw them and said ok you're Brittany and you're Brandon... this was 23+ years ago lol.

This time around I honestly thought that the name bullying and harrassment I was getting from people was completely out of control. I really didn't care if their names were Bertha and Helga! I would love them either way and I always find nicknames and or call my kiddos whatever came naturally to me. So I told my DH its all you just tell me the names so I can decorate with them.

Well with my daughter Brittany she became MissBehaved/Busy B/ and Breezy. She still uses all 3.

Brandon is Bubba or Bud and Still when someone asks him he says call me bubs or Bud.

Cecelia is Cece or Ms. Anne because her middle name is Anne and Danica is Dani Girl or little D to me because her dads name is Dan/Danny/Daniel.

So long story short screw the haters and use whatever you want.

 

[fluterby429]

How is everyone?
I finished my last final of the semester on Tues. I'm dying for the grades to post. I really struggled on this class. The other class, Advanced Human Phys I completed with an A and didn't even need to take the final! I've been getting all my vaccinations to start the nursing program next semester. Without insurance, it is very expensive! Right her at Christmas makes it even worse. Oh well it's gotta be done.

 

[Mommabrown]

Fluter how exciting to be starting the nursing program!
I had the whooping cough vac and it was $40 with our insurance so I couldn't imagine what it would be without it. But ya gotta do what ya gotta do.

 

[fluterby429]

That Tdap vaccine is no joke! My entire arm and muscles in my arm hurt for days. Seriously hurt. I feel terrible they give these to small children.

Hope everyone has a wonderful Christmas. It's been so warm here compared to what it normally is. I'm not complaining one bit!

 

[Mommabrown]

Popping in to wish you all a Merry Christmas and Happy New Year! I hope 2016 brings you all lots of love, happiness, and .

 

[AngienDaniel]

Merry Christmas everyone! I still pop in ever-so-often. Seems like the forum is dying down a bit though. I pray everyone is well! Hope you ladies have a wonderful holiday and next year brings us all some awesome blessings!