Hey all.
Sorry I haven't been posting, been kind of introverted the past few days. Luck just doesn't seem to want to be around me right now. I know the following has nothing to do with ttc, but it is effecting my wanting to try.
I rescued a litter of kittens about 5 weeks ago. They were about 3 weeks old. They seemed to be thriving until I realized they had ringworm (fungal infection, not actual worms, for those who don't know). Brought them to the vet, cost me a fortune, got some shampoo to bathe them with. Having to bath 5 kittens everyday for two weeks and keep their shampoo on them for 10 minutes is very time consuming (not to mention I have to wash their bed, cage, anything they touch everyday!) and draining. The ringworm seemed to be going away, until I found new spots on them a few days ago. Then I woke up 2 days ago with a spot on my neck! It's very small and I went and bought cream for it right away, but it really got me down, and it's making me not want to go anywhere or see anyone. I've tried to do the right thing by saving these kitties, but it's costing me a fortune (they go back to the vets tomorrow) and now I've got ringworm! Disgusting! I am unable to cuddle with my daughter out of fear of passing it to her.
Also, which is way worse, my daughter has been having pee accidents the past few days. She has been fully potty trained for over a year. Her accidents seem to come on fast and she crys out in pain right before she pees. The first thing I though was a UTI, so I brought her to the doctors today (yesterday was a holiday here), and they checked her urine and found protein. Her protein was only 1+ but it was an afternoon pee. My doctor is a great man, but he's not one to sugar coat things. He said that protein in her urine at such a young age is concerning. It could be caused by anything from a kidney infection to hypertension to lupus to worse. He ruled out high blood pressure, and he doesn't believe it's a kidney infection because she only complains of pain right before she pees. He also did an exam on her and she didn't feel any pain when he put pressure on her kidneys. She is going for a renal ultrasound tomorrow morning and they sent her urine off for further testing. I am freaking the f out. Hubby is on afternoons so I had to tell him all of this over the phone on his break. I was hoping he would be his normal self and say "Oh Tara, it's probably nothing, don't worry", but he didn't, he was actually looking for comfort from me. I'm trying not to think about it too much, but it's impossible not to. Earlier my daughter wasn't listening to me at all, so I sent her to timeout - I almost started crying. I thought "what if something is wrong with her? I can't discipline her." Man, I don't even know.
I keep telling myself that it's going to be fine, it's probably something small or nothing at all, but there is always that little voice "what if, what if?" This isn't our first scare with her either. When she was 2 her neutrophils (a type of white blood cell) were critically low and she had to be hospitalized. We were petrified it was cancer, but they went back up the following day and they sent her home. But now I'm freaking, because they didn't do any tests on her, and I'm starting to worry that maybe it's all related.
Oh ladies, I'm sorry for pouring this on you, when I know you're all going through your own things, but I needed to get it out. I have to be strong for my family and friends about my daughter, and no one really understands my love and disappointment with the kittens.
I'm going to try to relax now, although I'm sure I won't sleep much. I just hope they come back with the results fast. I was extremely lucky with getting her appointment so soon though. I called 4 different places and all of them were booking the mid to late June. The 5th place I called had just gotten off the phone with a cancellation for tomorrow morning.
K, I'll keep you all posted.
Night all.
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showed her ugly face. I hope this brand new cycle brings you, your BFP! 
