TWW starts today! Who's with me?!

Am on my mobile again,so no smilies,but I am screaming with excitement for you snow. Woohoo xx
Welcome mom, I have no experience like yours,but I hope thos is your last TWW for a while I'm fed up of them!
 
Ssssnnnnnnnoooooooowwwwwww!!!!!!!!!!!! I am completely over the moon for you!!!! I read your posts yesterday and tears were streaming down my face! I am excited to hear all about your journey to motherhood! Don't worry about your boobs not being super sore, my weren't and still aren't. My nipples are more sensitive, but they are not super painful as some other women describe. So how far along are you?
Onebump - You're up next girl! I know it! Don't lose hope. Snow is a wonderful example that it may take a while, and sometimes a little help, but it can happen!!! When do you go back to talk about your results?
Babyhopes - Thinking about you, hope you're doing well. I can't wait till your sticky bean, it's going to be soon :)

AFM, sorry I've been so quiet. I have been reading pretty much everyday, but I just haven't been posting as my mind has been kind of crazy lately.
Went to the urologist. He didn't seem overly worried about my back pain. I have to go for blood work and an ultrasound, but I can't get in until Oct 2nd. I go back to see him on the 11th. Hopefully I'll get some answers.
Found something else with my health (I'm 29 and I'm falling apart!). When pregnant with my daughter, my Dr sent me to get an echocardiogram as I have some scary family heart history. They found that I had mitral valve regurgitation. Just mild tho, so nothing to really worry about. Since I'm pregnant again, my Dr. sent me for another echo, and this one showed regurgitation not only in my mitral but in my tricuspid valve as well. Still both mild, so nothing to really worry about (although my Dr did say tricuspid valve is a bit rare). The scary thing about the echo is that they found calcification on both my mitral and tricuspid valves. My Dr didn't like that. He stat referred me to a cardiologist and I went to see him yesterday. He said that I have nothing to worry about now, and that although I am very young to have this, my heart should still be good to go for many years without any treatment. I asked what would cause this damage and it turns out that it was probably caused by my first pregnancy and my severe pre-eclampsia and HELLP syndrome. He then asked me "didn't anyone tell you not to have anymore babies?" Fantastic f'ing thing to say to someone who is 3 months pregnant! He was quite rude and told me if I have any blood pressure problems this time around, I could do more damage. Like I wasn't already worried enough!
On top of this stress, I'm dealing with my baby girl going to school all day everyday. I miss her so much. She's growing up way too fast, and although she is growing into a wonderful little lady that I am so proud of, I miss my little girl that I could cuddle at all times of the day without being told "Mama, I don't want to cuddle right now!"
Ah hormones, you have to love how they make you crazy!!!!
Sorry for my rant, just wanted to let you ladies know why I haven't been posting everyday!
 
Ohhhh, how could I forget! I went for my ultrasound on the 11th and saw my little Toby (nickname hubby and I have for the baby!) I'll post pics in a bit. I tried to get the sonographer to guess the sex, but she said she really couldn't tell. All seems well though - 2 arms, 2 legs, 10 fingers, 10 toes, heart beating away at 159 bpm, saw the two hemispheres of the brain! And it seems I am finally getting a little bump! (Still having a hard time gaining weight because of stupid ms).
 
Onebump - I was just skimming through your journal, and I'm confused. So you didn't start your period this month? Just a little amount of spotting? From what the other girls are saying, your temps are still good, so you might be preggo??!?!!?!?!?! Are you going to test? How many DPO are you?
 
Torres, that is so sweet. I thought I took AF on Sat,turned out to b a bit of bloody spotting. I'm 15 dpo today, but took a test after work and it was :bfn: have never had a glimmer of a bfp, loosing hope fast that I can get pregnant. Will call gyno next week to find out about a follow up appt. Meh
Still dancing for u Snow ;)
 
SNOW! SNOW! SNOW! I'm straight up... OVER THE MOON! Dancing & Dancing! I'm so happy you've gotten your so longed for... :bfp:! Eeeeeek! :wohoo: Congratulations! Everything is going to be just perfect. This baby is forever, hun! :hugs: I can't wait to hear how beautifully your numbers are rising. You are going to be getting a bump. It's also normal not to have any pregnancy symptoms yet. Some women go through a whole pregnancy without even knowing they are pregnant. :)

Onebump: I definitley don't understand your cycle. 15dpo and no :witch: means :bfp:! It's about time for Dr.'s to get it figured out. Have you showed them copies of your charts? Sorry hun, getting super impatient for you. :hugs:

Torres: I'm so happy to hear Toby is doing just perfect! :happydance: I'm sorry for your emotional stress about DD growing up. I'm the same way but not with my DD yet. Instead, I pick fights and such and get mad and upset over the littlest things that didn't bother me before. I've been doing it the whole pregnancy. I hate it... I even cry over spoiled milk often. DH knows I didn't act like this with my first pregnancy. But, this pregnancy is so different. I'm more emotional and have crazy vivid dreams 2-3 a night.

I wouldn't worry about what the Dr. says about this pregnancy. Etc. Just take it easy and one day at a time. I had a counsler tell me today... I'm at risk for premature labor because of my periodontal disease. I said "I know." And she said "I had periodontal disease and my baby came 8 weeks early. (I didn't know what to say.) But, what am I supposed to do? No dentists will do my procedure, I'm doing everything I can. I then told her DD came at 39w induced (I had HBP from week 34, NST every other day.) She said probably because of your periodontal disease. I said... NO, she was born with birth defects. I just wish these professionals would think before they say. (Sorry for long rant.) Anyways, take what they say with a grain of salt. If they can't help you improve your risks... they need to shut up.

AFM: I'm a little grumpy as you can tell. No answer on our offer today. I just would like to know something either way. I'm not sure I can handle looking for a house at this time in my life. If this doesn't go through... I'm going to start nesting and preparing for baby here. I think.
 
Snow - Patiently waiting for your numbers! Can't wait to see how much they've jumped!
 
Snow - Patiently waiting for your numbers! Can't wait to see how much they've jumped!

HCG went from 63 on Mon to 185 today!! More than doubled! Progesterone went from 30 to 29 - which is great! OMG, I'm PG and am going to have a baby!
 
Snow! I'm beyond words happy for you! You're going to be a Mommy! How's hubby? He must be ecstatic too eh?! When's your due date?! Ohhhh I just saw your ticker! LOVE IT!!! Feeling any symptoms yet? I hope for your sake you don't get MS, it can be brutal! Mine started just a few days before I hit 6 weeks.

Leinz - Any news on the house? I really hope you guys get it!!!! I don't blame you for not wanting to house search right now! Are you guys just renting right now? I didn't know you had high BP with you daughter. And that's so stupid that no dentist will do your procedure! Did you go for that deep cleaning that you were planning on?
And I'm so with you with the vivid dreams! It is ridiculous just how real they are. I wake up at least once a month due to a dream. I can't wait for them to be done with!

Onebump - How are you doing love?
 
Snow: Love! Love! Love! The numbers! Your rainbow is forever! I'm so happy! :yipee:

Torres: Yes, I had HBP... No protein in my urine though. I don't know whether it was from DD having birth defects. She was born with Pierre Robin Sequence. Long story but you can look it up online. She was transported to childrens and we were seperated at birth. She then underwent 3 major surgeries and 1 minor in her first year. Spent 5 days in the NICU, a week in PICU intubated, and several other days on the surgical recovery floor in her first year of life. It was hard, but so fortunate. :) She was special fed and still undergoes speech therapy and has trouble putting on weight.

So, I don't know if that caused my HBP. Which it can or if it was all me and likely to happen again. I've decided what will be will be as everyone keeps telling me I'm at 4 times greater risk for premature labor. Thats always been my worse fear. But, theres nothing I can do, but what I am. I get the extractions tomorrow, and then my cleaning is on October 4.
 
Leinz - Oh wow. I knew your DD was born with Pierre Robin Sequence, but I didn't know what you both had to go through her first year. Tough little girl and Momma, that's for sure! :) Try and relax as much as possible. And like you said, what will be will be. You should be getting close to V day soon, and modern medicine is amazing if she does come early. And even though you may have a higher risk of premature labour, you have a higher chance of making it to term. You are doing everything you can to prevent anything from happening, and that's all you can do. Zoela is lucky to have such a great mom. :)
 
Awwww... Torres you are super sweet! Yes, I'm looking forward to Vday! :) But, even more so... 28 weeks will be great, take those odds to 90%! :happydance:

Yeah, I have those vivid dreams 1-3 times a night. Its ridiculous. Usually they are good so it doesn't bother me much. And occassionally they are very sexy. Maybe it helps that I've been reading Fifty Shades. :haha:

Also about the house we got countered and have recountered. Should know Friday, but what will be, will be. We are actually a year in on another 10 yr loan. But, when I got this little 2 bedroom house I wasn't thinking. DH said I told you it wouldn't be big enough for the 3 kids we had planned. Well I said we could stay here 5 years refinance and rent out or something. I just had to have it. Preggo with Zoela and already regretting that decison. Which if we moved I'd just rent it out and pay it off. The Rent would be enough to pay both morgages.
 
Congrats Snow, I'm so so happy for you. I hope this works for you first time around, you deserve it. You've been through so much.

And Congrats Torres on the great scan.

Congrats Leinz for finally getting your dental stuff sorted and progressing so well.

AFM: things are not good. I just can't seem to bounce back. I'm down all the time, have no motivation to do anything. I feel like my marriage is falling apart. I have no interest in any sort of physical intimacy with my husband, would really rather just be alone. I don't foresee us trying again in the near future. I feel like I'm back at ground zero, no further ahead than I was months ago - further behind if anything. My heads just not in the game of life right niw. People around me everywhere are announcing pregnancies, and I feel guilty not being happy for them, and feel even more awful about myself. I really don't know what to do. Life isn't bringing me much happiness these days, and that scares me. I feel bad for my husband - I'm a miserable wife. He's been patient for so long, but you can tell he's getting tired of me and ready to move on. I just want to crawl into a hole and disappear.

Sorry being the downer.
 
Congrats Snow, I'm so so happy for you. I hope this works for you first time around, you deserve it. You've been through so much.

And Congrats Torres on the great scan.

Congrats Leinz for finally getting your dental stuff sorted and progressing so well.

AFM: things are not good. I just can't seem to bounce back. I'm down all the time, have no motivation to do anything. I feel like my marriage is falling apart. I have no interest in any sort of physical intimacy with my husband, would really rather just be alone. I don't foresee us trying again in the near future. I feel like I'm back at ground zero, no further ahead than I was months ago - further behind if anything. My heads just not in the game of life right niw. People around me everywhere are announcing pregnancies, and I feel guilty not being happy for them, and feel even more awful about myself. I really don't know what to do. Life isn't bringing me much happiness these days, and that scares me. I feel bad for my husband - I'm a miserable wife. He's been patient for so long, but you can tell he's getting tired of me and ready to move on. I just want to crawl into a hole and disappear.

Sorry being the downer.

:hugs: Babyhopes :hugs:

Oh darling, life can be so cruel. Have you spoken to a doctor, I know it's not ideal but maybe you need extra help, whether it's someone to talk to or medication to re-align your hormones to allow happiness back in.

You don't deserve this, wishing you lots of love and luck to get back to a happy place, whatever that takes.
 
Babyhopes - I am so very very sorry that you aren't all that happy. I do know how hard it is. I had been throwing around the idea of getting some counseling actually. I got a card from the RE office for a Psychiatrist that specialized in Infertility. Do you think you could benefit from going to talk about your losses and why you don't feel the love between you and hubby?

I am sending you lots of love and good vibes your way. I really hope you can find the joy again soon. But understand how hard it is.

We are here for you!! Feel free to come and talk with us anytime!
 
Big hugs babyhopes. I agree with Snow and Onebump - maybe you should talk to someone. Your thoughts and feelings are very much signs of depression. I hope I'm not being too outspoken. I feel comfortable talking about it because I have been there and done that. I have suffered from a severe anxiety disorder for years and because of the limitations I put on myself I got depressed. I felt the feelings you are feeling now. No motivation, not feeling connected to anyone, feelings of guilt, isolating myself, etc, etc. I went to the Dr and was put on Zoloft. Antidepressants are not miracle drugs, they don't take away the pain from what you have been through (and you have been through a lot), but they do help get your head out of the clouds enough to deal with everything better. Talk therapy is also important. The pain from miscarriages, especially early in pregnancy is not talked about enough. Most women suffer in silence which can make everything so much worse. The pain from the loss of a pregnancy is so much more than just a loss of a fetus. It is a loss of a future you have been planning for and dreaming of. I guess what I'm trying to say in my rambling, is that you have valid reasons for feeling the way you do, you have been through a lot in the past year and maybe it's just too much to handle on your own right now, which is completely okay.
And remember, we're always here for you! :hugs:
 
Babyhopes: I'm sorry about how cruel life is being to you and your husband. I agree with the other smart ladies. You should seek help. My heart aches for you... :cry: Noone one should have to deal with infertility and its not fair.

But, don't ever give up! You deserve your forever baby. I hope you and hubby can work through things and get the baby you long for. All my :hugs:!
 
Snow, Torres, Leinz how you doing? I want to live vicariously through my pregger friends, so how are you all?

I've decided I'm not 'trying' this month no extra effort. I'm just sort of exhausted. I don't think it will create that magical combination, but it is going to give me and my stressed noggin the rest it needs.
 

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