TWW what will it lead to?

[deeee]

Ha ha ha FTale, make sure you enjoy those nasty treats. I’m putting TTC to the back of my mind for the next 2 weeks. I should know not to get my hopes up. I have a zero percent chance at the moment. Must stop clinging onto nothing. Greece.... prepare yourselves, we’re coming for ya.

Omg wish..... I have everything crossed for you. I hope you get a good strong bfp.

Dee - I know exactly how you feel. This month marks one year since we started trying and in all seriousness we don’t have much chance at all the way things are at the moment. That will hopefully change in the coming months. This month I really felt different and that we may have beaten the odds, but nope! Back to square one. It’s heartbreaking. But as women, I don’t know how we do it, but we do manage to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and start again. Hope you get your BFP soon

no no no, dont u lose hope just yet u may wake up one or 2 months from now to a beautiful surprise bfp and then that whooooole year would become nothing compared to this teeny tiny moment I really wish this happens for u reaaal soon. My wishes for other people come true, u know...

 

[Nixnax]

Awww thank you Dee.

Well ladies I’m off on my hols today. I’ll pop on here when I can.

FTale, enjoy your grown up games and sprouts this weekend lol.

Wish, fingers crossed for your bfp.

Speak to you all soon xx

 

[Wish4aRainbow]

Ladies... I hope you are taking time to enjoy yourselves this weekend. DH and I are off to the mountains to celebrate our 1 year wedding anniversary with a picnic.

 

[FTale]

Wish and Nix: Have fun!!!!

Deee: Hugs. I feel you. I really do. It's not what you want but you at least know it's going to be an uphill battle whenever you do go full speed into TTC. I hope it just happens against all odds so you don't have to struggle. I'm not one to have much patience. Butt ttc has made me fine tune that ability. I'm happy you found our lil group and pray we get to all share some hh9s together.

AFM: My nasty treat eating is on hold as I get sick. Been feeling like I have the crud. I will try n fight it back with warm drinks later. Meanwhile this girl is knodding off.

 

[Wish4aRainbow]

Deeee - sorry you are struggling lady... It is a nasty battle at times. Especially when others seem to get pregnant and get to have a baby without even wanting it. I have hope it will happen for you and all of us.

Had the 2 faint line FRER this weekend sat and sun... waiting till tomorrow FMU to test with FRER again. Hopefully stronger line or I will just wait for AF.

 

[Wish4aRainbow]

Feeling a bit down this morning. Tested FRER again this AM... even less of line. Maybe a shadow if anything. haven't been sleeping well at all. Which is pretty typical for me this time of the year when it takes so long to get dark out. I love the long days but it creates an insomnia for me. Then the last 3 nights I've been up to pee a million times which hasn't happened since I was pregnant... so I got my hopes up too high I think.

Still a small chance it could change for a ... last time I was late before I even got a faint line... and AF isn't due till Thurs. 15dpo today (aprox)

Anyways. Had a cry about it. Feeling down but trying to move on and not think about it for a few days. (Like that will happen )

Coffee time. meeting some girlfriends for lunch that I was pregnant with... But they get to bring their babies to lunch with them trying to not think that way but it seems like everyone around me is pregnant and having their babies and I'm here poas with

 

[FTale]

Wish: Oh, girl. I am so sorry. I don't know how you did lunch. I know it took me forever to get my legs back underneath me. You are a good friend I'll tell you that much.

I think many times our bodies get pregnant but hpts never show because some thing goes awry in the mixing pot. I've had very few like maybe 3 occasions where I just 'knew' but never got a bfp.

You do what you can to get through this cycle if your lines never come back. We are here for you. Keep posting your feelings. Helps to talk it out.

I wasnt even ttc this cycle and I'm feeling the blahs. The way I feel I have a bladder infection or kidney stones.

What did you have for lunch? You did still go right?

 

[Wish4aRainbow]

Thanks for the support FTale
Yeah. I still went. Both have had early m/c. The one had two even. So I sent them a message before I left to let them know where my head was at. They live the next town over so haven't seen them much since they have been on Mat leave and I've been hiding at home.
It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be (good ol' anxiety disorder made it worse in my head first) but it still wasn't as nice as it should be. Still can't hold their kids and it breaks my heart. I'm a baby hog usually but can't seem to do it anymore yet. The one baby was born the day I had my 20week scan and found out that my baby wasn't going to make it... So that is extra hard.
Went to a cool local place and it was poutine Tuesday So I had hotwing poutine and a lavender lemonade. It was tasty.

My breasts are doing strange things since I left my house this am. They are tingly. Like gentle electricity running through them and they are big and heavy... and I am very aware of the material of my bra around them... Just really sensitive. And I had a chiropractor appt after lunch and could hardly lay on my stomach for how sore they were. That's new.
So like I say... I have conflicting feelings. I still FEEL like I may have a chance yet... But I feel like I should have a positive test by now too. Guess we wait and see if the arrives this week...

 

[FTale]

Nix:

Wish: I have no idea what poutine is but you made it sound good.

Its been over a decade for me so I can snuggle with a little one again. Just can't talk about my loss in person. It just rips me in to pieces. Makes others feel bad because they can't help you at all. Worse pain ever. I think any parent who has lost a child would agree.

I forget if you can get a blood test there to check for pregnancy. I dunno it sounds like pregnancy to me but not sure what is going on. By 15dpo (unless on tons of meds) I am starting AF personally. I'm 7 dpo this time. At least it felt like ovulation. Without meds I don't normally have a strong one and I totally forgot to go get my progesterone tested. When I did remember I was too embarrassed to go back because the last time I was at the lab my hcg came back negative and progesterone only 14ish at 10dpo. It was a stimulated cycle too. So sad and why I'm on break now until October. I'm suppose to be exercising and all.

I haven't really gone at it that hard. I'm still letting go of ttc mentally.

I'll get use to it sooner or later

What method are you using to conceive? SMEP, right before O but not O or on O only?

I have to go back to work since I left early today. Still have things to finish. Catch you tomorrow

 

[Wish4aRainbow]

FTale: Oh my... I just realized that I must have had the most Canadian lunch ever. I thought Poutine was picking up popularity... but apparently it is just Canadain media telling me so lol.
Poutine is an amazing Canadian dish. Take french fries... put on cheese curds and then pour piping hot brown gravy to melt said cheese. sooooo stinkin good. As with all good things it is getting trendy and trendy places are doing amazing things with it... like today I had "hot wings" Poutine... really just sliced breaded chicken covered in sauce so you didn't have to deal with wing bones durring the meal.
There were also options of deep fried pickle poutine (obviously with deep fried pickles on top of fries and such, drizzled with dill sauce... there was a pulled pork option too and like 5 others. Pretty awesome (and filling) if you ask me.
I need to be losing some weight as well... but just have zero motivation... one day I tell ya!

Yeah, people do not know how to deal with people dealing with loss... so they say innapropriate things or change the subject... it is hard cause for me, I don't want to be "the one with a dead baby" but I am in a small town so that just happens I am sure. I know it will slowly get easier... I just wish I could jump to that part.

I can get a blood test, and I will call my doctor after the long weekend if I haven't gotten AF yet. Just don't like to bother her too much. I know she works enough. I tend to have around a 28 day cycle... haven't dipped for O since last pregnancy as this is the first cycle trying... but I got a positive OPK on June 10th which was CD 9 for me... so I assume i O'd on the June 11th (CD 10)... my app had predicted O for the wed so it was early... but I happened to dip on the sunday when we got home from camping and lots of BDing and had the bright line that faded over the next 2 days. Hubby was then gone for a few days to work and back on the Thurs and we BD'd some more. We usually go for the SMEP program... or variation where we go from day after period stops. This time we even went every other day up till O cause DH was super tired and went to bed early. Definitely try to meet the egg... not catch it.

I am sorry you have had such a struggle. I really hope you catch that rainbow soon. Sounds like you have really worked hard at it.

 

[FTale]

Wish: I thought I had replied. This week has been a blurr. Goodness. Canadian food sounds blissful. Unfortunately I'll have to wait a spell before I get to indulge in fatty foods again.

My doctor put me on a medical grade diet. I took my first pill today. All I can say is I feel a bit sleepy in the eyes. Its suppose to stop my brain from sending messages to me to eat all the time. And its a good idea to only eat healthy foods with these pills too. I'm not sure what fatty foods will do but they are a no go....lol guess that's the diet part

You are correct on that one. People don't know what to say. And OH how I wish the leaping forward to when its all 'ok' could happen fast but it doesn't. Need time. Everyone does.

I hope being with us here online is a good thing for you. I look forward to more convos on anything really.

I guess one possible high light of my day is possible IVF. I thought about it before but didn't get enough of a loan and husband and I didn't want to spend the dough. After one fully funded and followed IUI treatment that failed....I got the guts to call up the loan officer again for more help. She is on board to getting us the money we need but has to speak to the underwriters. I'm waiting now. Should know within the next four hours I guess. If they can fund us, then I'm looking at October or November for doing it. I have to be smaller in weight for this.

Anyhooo enough about me. What do you have lined up for the weekend? I'm having a small party for my daughter's bday with her best friend. And friend who is local is going to help out. Should be fun.

Ok, gotta go tend to the ever growing laundry pile

 

[Wish4aRainbow]

FTale: sorry I've been away camping in the mountains again for our Canada Day long weekend. Just coming home now.
That is awesome news you might have funding for IVF I hope it goes through for you and that you get your sweet baby growing right away with it.
Oh man. I send you strength for your diet and excersize plan. I really struggle with those things. I hope the pills make it easier for You!!
When would you start IVF if you get approved?

Being online with you ladies does really really help. It's nice to be able to voice my dreams and concerns without fear of judgement. I'm glad you are all here.

How is our fancy Greek vacationer doing? Hope you are having some fun

So... without further delay I would like to announce my
It really kept me waiting... super faint lines forever! I started thinking maybe they were antibody strips or indents bit I could always see a hint of pink and my symptoms just kept adding up and I felt pregnant.
Like I posted on Thurs. Had another super faint and that was the day AF was due... ended up scrolling pages and found someone saying some people get better results in afternoons than fmu... So I held for 4 hrs Friday... and ANOTHER SUPER FAINT. I really thought I was going crazy and my hubby was losing hope. easy@home test on Sat am turned up NOTHING ... But then Sunday am (Canada Day) I got a ! it still isnt as dark as control but it is no denying it. I just keep looking at it.
It felt so good to do the "I told you so dance" hahaha

It was extra special because we were camped out where we were when my now hubby proposed to me that weekend. (He didn't propose at camp... But it was where we were camping if you know what I mean.) When we pulled up I told him "this is such a special spot. Now it will also be the place we find out we are pregnant too!" And I was right. Yay!

So now I am just asking for good vibes, thoughts, prayers and baby dust that this little bean sticks, keeps growing, is healthy, and makes it to a full term happy & healthy baby

How has the rest of your weekend been?

 

[FTale]

Congrats Wish!!!

What a special occasion all around!! Praying everything goes just right!!

I did get the IVF funding but have to do it with a different doctor because mine is gone for some reason So eating healthy and hope by November I am preparing for IVF.

Other than that, wishing I had taken off work for the 4th of July. I always seem to do working vacations. I need to take a real vacation.

Nix: Hope you are having a laid back vacation with your hubby.

 

[Wish4aRainbow]

Hmmmm. Well it sounds like things may be lining up just right for you!

Yes! Take the vactions!!! It is so important to actually live life!

How was your daughters birthday party?

Deee how are you doing?

 

[FTale]

Wish: I'm sorry, I don't know how I missed this post. My dd party was a hit. Had tons of fun and too many sweets but she was a happy camper.

How are you doing? Have you tested again?

We decided not to bother with IVF. With the new doctor it was going to be hard and the IVF itself I was being made to get ultra approved for because of my incompetent cervix. So my husband and I decided to through caution against the wind and just finish off our IUIs we have left. So I'm in the start of IUI#3 no injectables just clomid. I am still exercising and eating healthy. Feeling stronger than I look But what is most is we are happy and planning so much to do togther. I feel like we have a new lease on life.

Nix: Get some new outfits! Greek dresses or some thing. And eat all the yummy food.

 

[Nixnax]

Hey ladies, I’m baaaaaack

We had the most amazing holiday. It was just what we needed. The weather was so hot. It topped at 44 degrees c. We did some amazing things, parasailing, snorkelling, hiring quad bikes to see the island. A holiday to remember. Then when we got home we still had 4 days until work and the weather is lovely here so decided to go away for 3 more days. We did 2 days of surfing. Another first for me. I’m rubbish at it, but loved every minute. We ate sooooooo much amazing food and I have come back 8lbs heavier but it was worth every lb.

I decided not to come on here as I wanted a full break from TTC. I wanted to kick back and relax for a while. It did the job. I’m firing on all cylinders again.

FTale, that’s amazing that you got the funding. So it’s still an option if you change your mind. When will your next IUI be?

Wish, I LOVE chips, cheese and gravy. I thought it was only is crazy brits that liked stodgy food like that. Also, is that a BFP announcement I saw big big congrats. I’m praying that this bean is a good healthy one for you. Keep us updated on the progress.

So, I’m already in my TWW, I think I’m 3/4 dpo. I didn’t do opks or anything and I didn’t feel ovulation. I put a pos opk in FF to give me a rough dpo count. We did A LOT of BDing on our hols, but I don’t think any were successful as DH was drinking (as was i) most nights, and it never happens when he drinks. But here’s to hoping right?!

I’m going back to work today on the late shift, work will be hard after 2 weeks off. I’m used to being a lady of leisure now

 

[FTale]

Nix: Welcome Back!!

OMG You had a fantastic time it sounds!!! I have to admit I was looking forward you everyday like a lost puppy..lol

I really hope your holiday bding made a lil Nix!!

Sorry about work. I just ran from it....head is mega killing me to.

Good to have you back!!

 

[Nixnax]

Thank you. We really did. Annoyingly we had such a good time that I didn’t think about having the talk with him about alternative methods. My bad. It’s his birthday this weekend so I’ll bring it up in a couple of weeks.

Ah did ya miss me? I missed you too. It was hard not to come on here all that time. I was getting withdrawal lol.

A mini nix would be amazing.

How was your weekend with no little one. Did you get to spend some quality time with DH?

 

[FTale]

Nix: I forgot to tell you my IUI will be on the 20th.

We had a decent weekend. Walked and talked ourselves to supreme tiredness the 3 of us. Sunday came and we could barely move...lol

Hubby and I have started devotional bible reading at night for married couples. Tonight we discussed spending more time together with just the two of us and then making a point of having a family day during the week as well.

Work can take so much out of you that you don't make time for 'life' anymore.

I am going to try really hard to enjoy myself going forward.

Soooooo...any symptoms????

 

[Nixnax]

Ooo not long, good luck, I really hope this round is successful for you.

Awww that sounds like you had an amazing weekend.

This is so true, we often forget about the fun things in life because of work. We need to have more family time. Our holiday made us realise that as well.

We are staying away for a night this weekend for DHs birthday. I’m really looking forward to it.

Nope nada, not a thing. I think I’m 5dpo today. Things start going crazy around 8/9DPO. I hope I don’t have a cycle like last month! That was off the chain!

I’ve had an awful morning, my poor mum called me absolutely hysterical. She had pulled her back out and collapsed on the floor. She couldn’t move. Her DH was I. The house but was upstairs asleep as he had been on nights. She couldn’t wake him. I had to call her an ambulance and stay on the phone with her for an hour. They whole time she was hysterical with the pain. There was absolutely nothin I could do for her. I wanted to drive there but she lives 170 miles away, the ambulance would be there faster. Only just mind! We had to wait a long time. Broke my heart hearing her like that. She’s pumped full of meds now and on her way to hospital. What a morning!