Ultimate Venting Thread

[Armywife84]

Well I'm back...

Few Rants in no particular order...

1. Stupid twat who has a 1yr old is 17 weeks along with her second in the 2 years I've been in LTTC hell.

2. My mother's next door neighbor is pregnant with #1 and they just got married late last summer. To top it off her sister is also pregnant with their second. Fecking fertile family!! So when I move home this summer and my DH deploys, I will have to see that heavily pregnant cow.

3. Or I can shack up with my father who's neighbor is also pregnant but thankfully she's almost due.

4. The same neighbor who is formerly a LTTC (whom I had respect for up until a few days ago) told my mother she was disappointed that she's expecting a boy, because she wanted a girl. Be happy and thankful it finally happened and take what you can get!!!!

5. After my hysto and lap the doctor told me I had endo. 2 strikes against us. Just fecking lovely.

 

[wonderstars]

I want to say welcome back but it always seems so wrong for us lttc'ers. Welcome back though.

So sorry about the endo. did they manage to clear some during the lap? Did you even have any signs of endo? One positive is that they did discover it and maybe come up with some strategies.

 

[wannabebe]

Hi, this is my first post here. I have been TTC for one year exactly and will be turning 30 in about a month. I've lately been having some difficulty with this and I can't believe I found this thread! I know many girls on this part of the forum have been trying more many more years than me, but I have a feeling that its going to be a long road ahead, as my husband has had 2 SAs, one 2.3 mil/ml and #2 9.8mil/ml. And my cycle ranges from 35-50 days. Anyway, I've been having dreams at night of getting a BFP and being ECSTATIC then waking up and basically feeling like I had a MC from going from such a high to realizing it's not real. But last night takes the cake. The past few days, I've had sore boobs and have been due for AF for several days, so I had that stupid part of my brain whispering "you might be pregnant!" So last night, I had a dream that I was pg and I gave birth at home. I was holding my baby on my chest and breast feeding it. I even had someone go get a shoelace and scissors to cut the cord. I then woke up and realized the reason I had the feeling of being in labor was that I had horrible period cramps. Woke up, took 800mg motrin, put a tampon in and almost cried. FML.

 

[wannabeprego]

Well I'm back...

Few Rants in no particular order...

1. Stupid twat who has a 1yr old is 17 weeks along with her second in the 2 years I've been in LTTC hell.

2. My mother's next door neighbor is pregnant with #1 and they just got married late last summer. To top it off her sister is also pregnant with their second. Fecking fertile family!! So when I move home this summer and my DH deploys, I will have to see that heavily pregnant cow.

3. Or I can shack up with my father who's neighbor is also pregnant but thankfully she's almost due.

4. The same neighbor who is formerly a LTTC (whom I had respect for up until a few days ago) told my mother she was disappointed that she's expecting a boy, because she wanted a girl. Be happy and thankful it finally happened and take what you can get!!!!

5. After my hysto and lap the doctor told me I had endo. 2 strikes against us. Just fecking lovely.

https://i255.photobucket.com/albums/hh126/izzybee22/bearlog.gif

 

[Armywife84]

I want to say welcome back but it always seems so wrong for us lttc'ers. Welcome back though.

So sorry about the endo. did they manage to clear some during the lap? Did you even have any signs of endo? One positive is that they did discover it and maybe come up with some strategies.

Thanks, I'm glad to be back!

No signs of endo at all. Only one period a month, never going over my 5 days and just the usual cramps for the first 2 days.

They burned off the adhesions they found during the hyst. My tubes weren't blocked, so they're unsure if the endo is contributing to IF. Apparently, you can have endo and it not be the cause of IF..however in the 1-2 stages I'm sure. I'll know more on my post op on Wed. We do have a good chance of conceiving this month since they cleared off my bits, but with his sperm quality and quantity I'm not very hopeful.

 

[wonderstars]

Hi, this is my first post here. I have been TTC for one year exactly and will be turning 30 in about a month. I've lately been having some difficulty with this and I can't believe I found this thread! I know many girls on this part of the forum have been trying more many more years than me, but I have a feeling that its going to be a long road ahead, as my husband has had 2 SAs, one 2.3 mil/ml and #2 9.8mil/ml. And my cycle ranges from 35-50 days. Anyway, I've been having dreams at night of getting a BFP and being ECSTATIC then waking up and basically feeling like I had a MC from going from such a high to realizing it's not real. But last night takes the cake. The past few days, I've had sore boobs and have been due for AF for several days, so I had that stupid part of my brain whispering "you might be pregnant!" So last night, I had a dream that I was pg and I gave birth at home. I was holding my baby on my chest and breast feeding it. I even had someone go get a shoelace and scissors to cut the cord. I then woke up and realized the reason I had the feeling of being in labor was that I had horrible period cramps. Woke up, took 800mg motrin, put a tampon in and almost cried. FML.

You'd think after trying for so long we'd have given up on that nagging little hope but damn, it's always friggin' there! Have you seen a specialist or been referred? My biggest regret is not asking for a fertility referral right away while my Gynecologist was doing testing.

 

[chrome]

Chrome i absolutely love your avatar where did u get that?? xx

I found it on the net, they have one in white too...

 

[NavyWife84]

Hi, this is my first post here. I have been TTC for one year exactly and will be turning 30 in about a month. I've lately been having some difficulty with this and I can't believe I found this thread! I know many girls on this part of the forum have been trying more many more years than me, but I have a feeling that its going to be a long road ahead, as my husband has had 2 SAs, one 2.3 mil/ml and #2 9.8mil/ml. And my cycle ranges from 35-50 days. Anyway, I've been having dreams at night of getting a BFP and being ECSTATIC then waking up and basically feeling like I had a MC from going from such a high to realizing it's not real. But last night takes the cake. The past few days, I've had sore boobs and have been due for AF for several days, so I had that stupid part of my brain whispering "you might be pregnant!" So last night, I had a dream that I was pg and I gave birth at home. I was holding my baby on my chest and breast feeding it. I even had someone go get a shoelace and scissors to cut the cord. I then woke up and realized the reason I had the feeling of being in labor was that I had horrible period cramps. Woke up, took 800mg motrin, put a tampon in and almost cried. FML.

How awful to have these dreams. I have a lot of pregnancy dreams too, but mine always end in tradgedy, like my baby is stillborn at 8 months, or I get in a car accident and they have to take the baby to save my life, etc. Last night it was malpractice...I had twins, one was stillborn and the doctor did something wrong and basically killed the other one. They are so horrible. Throughout the whole dream DH and I are so happy and I have a wonderful pregnancy, and then BAM...the baby doesn't survive. It is just awful! I know when it does finally happen for me, I am going to be so paranoid because I have had so many horrible dreams. I am going to have to try so hard to just enjoy my pregnancy and not think the worst.

 

[wannabebe]

Navy wife- omg, I thought mine was bad. I agree with you- if I ever get pg, I think I will have pregnancy nightmares for 9 months. It sucks- there's nothing you can do to not have these dreams and they're so real!

 

[Armywife84]

I had a miscarriage nightmare the other night! What is with us and these nightmares? Argh, LTTC is ruining my hopes of ever becoming a mother and if I get pregnant living in constant fear.

My Rant:

So my tactless SIL (the one with the newborn) just sent a fecking birth announcement to my home. I know the child exists, I don't need to be reminded several fecking times, or have a million pictures. Maybe if she would've sent an apology letter along with it regarding the argument we had last year then I would probably be less pissed.

Is it bad that the birthing announcement is going to make it's way to the trash later?

 

[wonderstars]

Umm...that birth announcement would be in the trash NOW, not later, lol. Wowza, she is an inconsiderate bitch, isn't she. She one ups herself every time I read about her!

I don't remember having any nightmares but who knows, maybe that's why I wake up exhausted and cranky.

**
I would like to vent about an 8month wait to see a fertility specialist AND that the other clinic in the province won't accept referrals from my city anymore due to their wait list
**

Next rant, according to my gynecologist, we are now officially "unexplained". Both tubes are open, I'm ovulating, DH's count is high. He said it's only been two cycles since my selective HSG and doesn't think I should think about direct to IVF.

Giving Clomid 3 tries while I wait for the referral. Ugh.

 

[Armywife84]

Oh they'll make their way in the garbage bin by tomorrow when DH is at work. Not having them lying around in a drawer where I can see them again. This is so bad, but it kind of makes me feel better that their new baby isn't much to, "ooo" and "aah" over.

I got mad at DH and told him to tell her not to send any more pictures of the new baby as it's inappropriate given our circumstances. I'd tell her off myself but I deleted her number and neither of us have FB. Argh, I just want to strangle her.

You would think with all these fertility wait lists, they'd lower cost of treatments and open up more fecking clinics!!

 

[Anne24]

Hi Can I join? I am 31 and have been TTC for 18months now.Last Monday I was diagnosed with both tubes blocked I have an appointment with my FS on the 25th of Feb. IVF is probably my best option now

 

[Armywife84]

Hi Anne and welcome!

Oh no, so sorry to hear that. Did they not offer surgery to unblock your tubes? If your insurance will cover it, then I'd have that done. However, if not then I'd start saving for IVF.

 

[BearsMummy]

Can I chime in again, with more news about my fecking SIL.

So, my brother text me and asked if I was going to be in Saturday, he was coming round. (SIL normally works every weekend) So I thought, great, I can talk to him about why I'm pissed off etc etc.

So he turns up here Saturday, let himself in (thats what we do) and in she struts behind him, rubbing her belly with a big grin on her face. (may I point out she doesnt actually know how far gone she is, but reckons about 9 weeks.......NO POINT ON RUBBING HER BELLY!!!) GRRRRR!! I was shaking with anger and had to go into my bedroom to calm down. Then she walks in behind me *still rubbing her belly) So I slapped a smile on my face, gritted my teeth and said congratulations.

Well, that was all th excuse she needed to talk about HER and HER PREGNANCY ALL FUCKING DAY!!! She even admitted she wasn't over the moon about being pregnant and just was really unappreciative about what she had. I can't believe she was saying these things to ME, especially as she has been through LLLTC hell.

She feigned interest in what was happeneing with me at the FS, I got one sentence out, she interuppted me, shouted over the top of me and managed to change the conversation back to herself and her being pregnant.

When i did manage to get a word in edgeways, I explained that we will be referred to OFU in April, she said 'is it because your OH doesn't have children?' I replied yes, but he has got me pregnant before, but I had a MMC (which she knows about because we were very close then) and she asked me 'are you sure it was OH's baby?' I was absolutely speechless, I really can't believe she said that to me! How dare she make out I'm some sort of cheating slag who wouldn't know who had got me pregnant!!

Then she kept going on and on and on and on and on about having to go into town and get a water filter jug 'because normal tap water makes her morning sickness bad'.......................FUCK OFF INTO TOWN THEN!!! £ hours later and lots of moaning about being pregnant and the morning sickness, she finally went and got her precious water filter.

Here's the best one......... this one really got me riled.

Her 2 year old son, was playing football (kick the ball) with my 12 year old son, and she shouted at them 'would you stop kicking the ball, its making my morning sickness bad'

OMG!! OMG!! OMG!!

Then I rang my mum for just a bit of moral support, and while I was on the phone to my mum, she kept interuptting my phone call again, asking when should she book in wih the midwife, how does she book in with the midwife and when should she have her scan! Luckily my mum heard everything, so my family know I am not exaggerating! But she had a baby 2 Years ago, I had mine 12 years ago, out of thetwo of us, who is going to know the answers to those questions??????!!!!! JUST SHOWING OFF!!

She is so lucky she is pregnant, I don't know how I managed to keep my cool, keep my mouth shut and not plant my fist in her face!!

I had 2 friends around later on in the day and OH had come home from work, and they all said at seperate times, that she was just finding excuses in every conversation to mention being pregnant, they felt she was showing off and trying to rub my face in it.

RANT OVER

 

[phoenixrose]

Bearsmummy: Wow, I don't even know where to begin with that one?! How awful! You are a saint for keeping your cool. I would not have been so nice. I would have at least been super sarcastic at every opportunity. So sorry you had to go through that!

 

[Lisa84]

Jeez i really don't know how you kept your cool i would have just exploded. It's good that others have witnessed her blatant attempts to rub your nose in it so then if you ever did lose your cool you would have the backing of others xxx

 

[donssweetpea]

wow bearsmum...that is just awful. I applaud you for keeping your cool. I've been trying for 6 years now for #1. It's all just heart wrenching and it's sad that some people just don't get what we are going through. I feel like the carpet was swept out from under me with my friends pregnancy. I wish you the best of luck bearsmum and you get your BFP soon. Screw your SIL and if you wind up telling her off I don't think anyone would say you were in the wrong!!!

 

[wannabemummyb]

3 f'ing pregnancy announcements on facebook tonight! 3!!!!!!! Ffs!

I actually just want to curl into a ball and cry! 3!!! There are pg women appearing at work every day, getting bigger and bigger! I seem to have a pg women radar, i keep spotting them and two weeks later a big announcement!

To make matters worse a friend came back from maternity leave, which just reminds me if i'd not had a mc then i would have returned end of last month / beginning of this! And our bubba would have been one this month!

Had e-f'ing-nough!

 

[Armywife84]

Can I chime in again, with more news about my fecking SIL.

So, my brother text me and asked if I was going to be in Saturday, he was coming round. (SIL normally works every weekend) So I thought, great, I can talk to him about why I'm pissed off etc etc.

So he turns up here Saturday, let himself in (thats what we do) and in she struts behind him, rubbing her belly with a big grin on her face. (may I point out she doesnt actually know how far gone she is, but reckons about 9 weeks.......NO POINT ON RUBBING HER BELLY!!!) GRRRRR!! I was shaking with anger and had to go into my bedroom to calm down. Then she walks in behind me *still rubbing her belly) So I slapped a smile on my face, gritted my teeth and said congratulations.

Well, that was all th excuse she needed to talk about HER and HER PREGNANCY ALL FUCKING DAY!!! She even admitted she wasn't over the moon about being pregnant and just was really unappreciative about what she had. I can't believe she was saying these things to ME, especially as she has been through LLLTC hell.

She feigned interest in what was happeneing with me at the FS, I got one sentence out, she interuppted me, shouted over the top of me and managed to change the conversation back to herself and her being pregnant.

When i did manage to get a word in edgeways, I explained that we will be referred to OFU in April, she said 'is it because your OH doesn't have children?' I replied yes, but he has got me pregnant before, but I had a MMC (which she knows about because we were very close then) and she asked me 'are you sure it was OH's baby?' I was absolutely speechless, I really can't believe she said that to me! How dare she make out I'm some sort of cheating slag who wouldn't know who had got me pregnant!!

Then she kept going on and on and on and on and on about having to go into town and get a water filter jug 'because normal tap water makes her morning sickness bad'.......................FUCK OFF INTO TOWN THEN!!! £ hours later and lots of moaning about being pregnant and the morning sickness, she finally went and got her precious water filter.

Here's the best one......... this one really got me riled.

Her 2 year old son, was playing football (kick the ball) with my 12 year old son, and she shouted at them 'would you stop kicking the ball, its making my morning sickness bad'

OMG!! OMG!! OMG!!

Then I rang my mum for just a bit of moral support, and while I was on the phone to my mum, she kept interuptting my phone call again, asking when should she book in wih the midwife, how does she book in with the midwife and when should she have her scan! Luckily my mum heard everything, so my family know I am not exaggerating! But she had a baby 2 Years ago, I had mine 12 years ago, out of thetwo of us, who is going to know the answers to those questions??????!!!!! JUST SHOWING OFF!!

She is so lucky she is pregnant, I don't know how I managed to keep my cool, keep my mouth shut and not plant my fist in her face!!

I had 2 friends around later on in the day and OH had come home from work, and they all said at seperate times, that she was just finding excuses in every conversation to mention being pregnant, they felt she was showing off and trying to rub my face in it.

RANT OVER

The nerve!!! I love how she was a former LTTCer who's seems to have magically forgotten where she started. Bitch!

Your SIL and my SIL can FECK OFF!

RANT:

Well the doctor told me my endo wasn't bad...one little spot and a few adhesions. It could or couldn't be contributing to our IF. He recommended going on a shot that will slow down my endo growth and improve my IF. Which sucks because I'll have to be on BCP as well, so no trying there. However, he says it's been proven to help fertility. So I guess I'll try that then a couple of IUIs.

Having 2 strikes against you in this IF Hell and being married to the military blows.