Ultimate Venting Thread

[Armywife84]

Just Married- Did they have an explanation as to what in the world you were passing? Is it particularly normal for you to have a terrible AF every blue moon?

Sounds incredibly painful and I'm glad they gave you the, "good stuff".

Bears- Oh dear, sounds like the neighborhood has gone to the slags! It certainly is time to move!

Fpcco08- Congrats and hoping your bean is sticky!

CatLady- 160 doesn't sound overweight! I would say you're healthy. Especially if your weight tends to fluctuate. Mine does and if I'm close to my max BMI, the GP fusses. I can't be bothered with it, because it will go back down in due time.

Try the weight loss just to mark it off your list.

My Rant as of Today:

-The crap weather has flooded the courtyard.
-Cue the humidity in this Southern heat.
-Every television show I have watched so far today deals with pregnancy or an infant. Is there any show to watch that isn't about procreation??!! I need more trashy reality shows and less, "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant, A Baby Story" etc.
-And the pregnant cow's bump at work is getting bigger. Go on maternity leave already! Here I am in the toilet at work angrily changing my tampon.

I had such a shit day (with AF, SIL pregnancy looming over my head, work, etc.), that I treated myself to a pair of lovely DVF wedges!

 

[CatLady80]

Armywife84-
Ya Im gonna try the lose weight thing again. im 4ft10..so 160 on me is funny.
I need to figure out how to tweek myself as I hardly eat at all---feels wierd to eat multiple times a day but I guess im in storage mode.

With my daughter I was 105--end preg weight was 230. I have major hormone malfunctons and I guess its the pcos.

Want to buy motivation!
(when I was in the Army I never had a prob working out, now im a part of my couch.)

 

[Armywife84]

Armywife84-
Ya Im gonna try the lose weight thing again. im 4ft10..so 160 on me is funny.
I need to figure out how to tweek myself as I hardly eat at all---feels wierd to eat multiple times a day but I guess im in storage mode.

With my daughter I was 105--end preg weight was 230. I have major hormone malfunctons and I guess its the pcos.

Want to buy motivation!
(when I was in the Army I never had a prob working out, now im a part of my couch.)

Don't be so hard on yourself hun, battling PCOS is difficult. A friend of mine eats extremely healthy and lightly exercises, the weight just won't budge on her.

The sofa is comforting when you've had a crap day.

 

[Armywife84]

In light of a recent thread, I feel the need to climb on my soapbox.

While I commend those LTTCers who can have a positive attitude with pregnant women, feel happy around infants (seriously, more power to you), let's face it there's very few "perks" when it comes to IF. Yeah, the flat tummy, more money, freedom, a regular sleep schedule, the option to go on trips, pay off debts, etc. However, I know each and every one of us on this site would rather have a baby than those few perks. There's nothing really that positive about LTTC. Eventually that hope and positivity runs out, for a lot of us. Trust me I've tried to focus on the positives, but it just doesn't work.

I understand why pregnant women attack us on here. Come on, if you're pregnant and conceived within a matter of a few months, why the feck are you on LTTC? However when it's a LTTCer that attacks us, I just shake my head. All that positivity will run out one day.

Another thing is while we seem vile and bitter cows on here, take into account how we interact with society. We're faced daily with pregnant SILs, baby showers, losses, TTC friends, christenings, no support in this journey, MIL's comments, whinny pregnant co-workers, s, milestones, failed rounds of Clomid, fights with our DHs about IF, depression, anxiety, etc. BUT we still fake our happy face and go on about our day. That's HARD to do!!

So I believe we deserve LTTC and to come on here to rant all we want. It's evident that none of us can let this pent up anger, bitterness, sadness out in the world without being judged. Thus we let it out in here, where these lovely ladies understand!

Last few notes:

Does a child who punches an adult in the stomach deserve to be slapped? Yes! There are parents who believe in physically discipling a child when necessary. Since I'm not a parent, I don't judge their parenting technique.

Do pregnant women deserve to be called cows? Unless they're whiny ones who moan about everything (I'm not talking about ones who are having a serious difficult pregnancy) cause harm to their fetus in what they ingest, or claim they don't want their baby then no. With that being said, majority of the pregnant women we vent about are cows.

I love the LTTC forum and all the ladies I've met. That includes the ones who have ended their journey with a (no, they are not cows) and the ones who are still here.

That is all.

 

[CatLady80]

I totaly agree. I fake the "happy" on a daily basis but anyone who is around me for a bit of time really sees it. I hate to see other women with their kids and babies. I hate to be in a fertility office and a women with a baby walks in like its nothing. I want to yell to put her in another waiting room! But I know its not proper to do so.
I have become a very angry person. I don't keep friends because I don't want to have to pretend to be happy around them. TTC has become my life, my entire world and reason for being. 10 years of fail has destroyed me and my way of thinking. I am very judgemental. I am very angry.

People don't want to be around people who are sick. I ask my husband everyday why he chose to marry me and everyday he has to tell me other things I am good at. Not being able to give him a son is imbarrassing to me.
Yes, I am harsh in my way of thinking.

So many of us have to just deal with the stupidity everyday. I think we have the right to vent. If I didn't I don't know what I would do.

 

[sweetmere]

I found this thread searching for another one...I hope you all don't mind me ranting with you. We've only been actively trying for 6 months and started NTNP 2 months before that, so altogether 8 months. I'm 21 and hubby is 25...I can't imagine how hard it must be for all of you and I'm praying for each and every one of you. I'm sorry if I upset any of you because I know 8 months is absolutely nothing, and I'm not trying to say it is. I think the main reason 8 months is upsetting to me is because I was an "accident" child. I was conceived WITH a condom. Then, my mother conceived my brother on her first try...she's also had a miscarriage (which she says she was on birth control) and she has had another miscarriage while her tubes were tied. She's pretty fertile, atleast, and she's already kind of hinted that she feels like something may not be quite right. Her entire family has quite a few kids and they have them easily. My dad's family is super, SUPER fertile. Almost every one of them has 4-6 kids and twins are everywhere with them. I was an accident and my dad/mom broke up when he found out about me...he got a new girlfriend and that very month my brother was conceived.

My husbands' cousin tried for over 2 years for her first, a girl (I wasn't around when she finally got pregnant so I'm not sure what finally did it for her). Then while trying for her second, she has had a few miscarriages and is finally about 25 weeks along with a little boy. My step-dad's nephew and his wife tried for over 2 years without telling anyone until they conceived. I remember as soon as my husband and I got married, she said in response to someone asking that we would probably get pregnant before they did, and I had no idea they were trying. They're now due in July with a precious little princess!!!

I know I may not be making anyone feel better but I am sending you all SO much baby dust!! I've wanted to be a mommy for as long as I remember. It's the thing I want most...as soon as we got married I wanted to start trying. I feel like we've been trying for a year atleast now, because I kept somehow hoping we would have an "accident" before we stopped using birth control. Obviously that didn't happen, because here I am, we haven't used any type of protection for 8 months and here I am, not pregnant.

You all deserve to be mommies and I will definitely be checking back, looking for bfp's!! I am also friends with a few women on Instagram for iPhone who are LTTC. One of them just got a bfp after 19 months of trying (clomid, metformin, etc.) . She gave up the month before and she and her husband decided they were going to trade their cars in for smaller ones and just go on vacations and maybe adopt later in life. That month, she got pregnant. I'm definitely not saying "just relax and it will happen" because I know that is one of the most annoying things to hear...but it will happen!!!

Now for things that have aggravated me:

-a girl I work with got pregnant on the first try. She rubs it in my face CONSTANTLY...talks about how she "knows how I feel" because the day before her bfp she cried because she just knew she would never get pregnant. She rubs her stomach all day and talks about how pregnancy sucks and her feet hurt. The other day she had the stupidity to tell me she won't wear a bikini because if I saw her boobs I'd never want to be pregnant, they were just so big! I have DD boobs and hers are MAYBE a c cup right now. I laughed at her, it was one of the stupidest things I've ever heard. She's had the EASIEST PREGNANCY!!! Oh, and she had her crib picked out a while back, she showed it to me on her phone and said they were picking it up that weekend. Well, hubby and I had been looking at one too. I showed it to her and a few weeks later I went to her house and she showed me the nursery..ends up she got the crib I showed her!!! I should have known then not to share anything else with her. But I did - she was showing me things she wanted on her daughters' wall, quotes, etc...so I showed her ONE that I have always, always loved and then lo and behold a month or so later she was like "Oh!! Did I show you the quote I had so-and-so put on a canvas for the nursery? I've been wanting it FOREVER!!" i knew somehow it was the one I showed her before I looked, and of course, it was. I was so mad that day, it was a good 2 months ago and I'm still so livid. I'll never forgive her for that. She has either something against me, or some kind of jealousy issue...not sure what it is but I have to work with her and soon she'll have the baby and I'll have to deal with THAT.

Also there's 8 of us girls at work and I just found out another one is pregnant, on ACCIDENT, and didn't want another child. She has a 10 year old daughter already.

I've already had the few people I've told tell me to relax, quit thinking about it, everything happens for a reason, God has a reason you're not pregnant and others are, it's not a big deal.......etc. Those same 2 girls and I were talking just today and I mentioned it's been 8 months since we've used birth control and their jaws both dropped so I had to listen to them tell me that for a 21 year old, 8 months is a long time and I need to see the doctor.

My facebook is full of 18 year olds having twins, juniors in high school getting pregnant left and right, women my age having their second and third child...about 6 couples I know got married around the same time we did and all of them but us and one other couple (who we know aren't trying or wanting children for a long time) are pregnant or just had a kid. Oh, and we had 62 boys and girls in the graduating class of our town, and 3 of them were noticeably pregnant.

& let me tell you, it didn't make me feel any better. But it hurts so much reading polls and conversations where the person asks "how long did it take you to conceive??" and 90% of them, no matter the age, say it was an accident, or happened the first, second, or third try...

*sigh*

& of course, as soon as I sent this, the movie husband is watching...the girl got pregnant the first time she had sex. Give me a break!!! How on earth do accidents happen??

 

[wonderstars]

Thank you Armywife. That was so well said.'

I never created this thread intending to be one where people thought we were cows. I wanted a place where I could come, vent, and be able to go about my every day. It's what helps me function. I have friends with babies, pregnant friends, pregnant coworkers. I attend their showers, gloat about their belly and I am genuinely happy for them. However, I feel genuinely bad for me and I have to find an outlet for my sadness.

I work in the healthcare field and I hear people *itch and moan about everything and I can't say a word about infertility. I love that I can say it here. I love that I can look at these posts and "thank goodness I'm not the only one that feels the same".

This thread makes me feel SANE.

Thank you all you wonderful cows that post here!

Moo?

 

[Just_married]

Armywife, no explanation, just that it was what your body needs to do to pass larger clots etc. I have my own idea, never had pains like that unless labour/mc so I think it's been a v. Early one bit I won't say to dh as he's terrified it was that. We all know our own bodies & what's normal etc, and my hormones have been crazy. I have been bursting into tears since last week, not normal at all. But here is the only place I'll voice my opinion on what happened, dh doesn't want to think it was mc and doc didn't bother with blood test etc. If it was that then it would even have bn a step forward as I've not been able to get pregnant for over a year.

On another subject, of course nosey old me went searching for the other thread. So annoyed that it's now closed as I was going to respond and say she should have courage to respond appropriately to who she was referring to as she was being a hypocrite slanting off and venting about someone who SHE FEELS is doing that.

I mean, this IS a venting thread. A safe place to speak about what's upsetting us. I personally did respond to someone previously on this thread as I felt they went too far calling their nephew a swearword & wishing a loss upon someone. But since then I would not be a part of this thread if I believed it was inappropriate or evil or full of 'bitter, selfish cows'.

If we don't want to attend events about babies because it is painful and we don't want people asking personal questions about having kids then I think that's actually mature & sensitive!

As for suggesting a mother ltttc wd love a baby more than someone who conceives quickly, well I don't think anybody ever suggested that, only that a baby longed for and waited for would be more appreciated than one conceived in a month or two.

I can see why she needed to create her own venting thread as if she tried that on here she would have been put in her place very quickly by you ladies. I have never virtually met such a caring bunch who really understand.

Love to all xxx

 

[BearsMummy]

Well said Army!!

I didn't reply to that thread when it was still open, because I would have been so rude back! And I think thats what she wanted in all honesty! I didn't find being called a 'selfish, bitter cow' at all insulting, I AM a selfish, bitter cow!!

As I have said before, we all deal with IF in our own personal ways, why should we have to conform to one persons beliefs? She had no right to tell us how to behave!

And yes, I come here to rant and vent, because I can. Because I can be honest here and you ladies understand me. Sometimes its not appropriate IRL to act the way I want to, and say the things I can say on here.

Lots of Love from
A Selish, Bitter Cow
xx

 

[StephieB]

Couldn't have said it better myself Army I'm actually glad the thread had been closed by the time I noticed that it existed because I would have been so rude back, and I'm such a lovely woman usually

I honestly wish her the best if she can cope with infertility AND be happy for pregnancies around her, but i just don't...well just HOW?! Even pregnancies I see on TV make me want to throw things at it, its like everyone around you winning the lottery, and yet there you are with your last £2 and nothing in the fridge. How can you NOT be annoyed/pissed off/bitter etc??

I'm bitter and I don't care at all, I'll carry on being bitter until/if i get a so to anyone who it upsets!

 

[SunUp]

Yay ARMY! That post was so irritating!
My rant - OK, SO WHAT if I was overly quiet at the baby shower. I found out my IUI - my first IUI - was unsuccessful... THAT DAY! SO No, I didn't want to talk all about babies. Yes, I still did want to be there for my friend but I DON'T HAVE TO BE TALKING ALL THE TIME. It wasn't my shower it doesn't matter if I feel like talking or not.
Ugh. And then the famous "are you going to have a baby soon"
Yes, I'll just walk right up and take one from aisle 12 in the baby store.

 

[Armywife84]

@ Moo

 

[Maurie]

I totally agree Army!! Very nicely said


Rant:
I want to scream!!!
I was doing very well with everything. I am having a great week, Getting over the milestone of people on their second baby before I could have one!... Thats fine whatever

What I cant handle, is someone posting about their friends labor point by point. . . On IV now. 3 cm dilated... They are breaking her water!!!
I don't Fricking care! I am not friends with her on FB... I don't even know her, Please stop posting... If her friends want updates POST ON HER WALL NOT YOUR FEED!!!
So I hid her, No big right? Got on my IPad, apparently you can hide people on that app, I thought it would carry over. WTH???
To top it off, it is a cousin who is fully aware of our struggles. I may just delete her , wonder how much cow poo that would stir in the family? But today I am not sure how much I care.

I am in my TWW 9dpo, but cant test until 14 Damn trigger shot. Last time I got my BFP at 12dpo, sucks it didnt last... I may POAS anyway lol

Ah, sorry ladies Hope everyone is doing well today
BTW- I LOVE these smilies they are so much fun!

 

[StephieB]

Ahhh Maurie had a similar Facebook experience once. There is only one thing I care less about than another children bowels, and thats whats going on with other womans vaginas!

 

[trying hard]

My rant...

I look after other peoples toddlers at my home for my job...One of the mums is now just about due and this morning one of the other mums told me she is expecting...TWINS!!!!!!! RAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA OVER IT. They all suck!

 

[StephieB]

Just logged onto Facebook to see a "my babies progress week 13" for yet another pregnant cousin on my DH. So thats 7 babies in as many months...with a family BBQ this weekend (that sadly I can't get out of) where everyone will be just so pleased to sit and talk about it all day while toddlers, babies and pregnant family lounge around

Not feeling good today

 

[Armywife84]

Just logged onto Facebook to see a "my babies progress week 13" for yet another pregnant cousin on my DH. So thats 7 babies in as many months...with a family BBQ this weekend (that sadly I can't get out of) where everyone will be just so pleased to sit and talk about it all day while toddlers, babies and pregnant family lounge around

Not feeling good today

Sounds like you need to get out and go to the most bacteria laden, germ area and breathe in those viruses. By the time the BBQ comes, you'll be much too sick to be around the pregnant and little ones. Must not get them sick!!

 

[sweetmere]

-0p;.lllllllllljmhhhhhhhhkI'm happy for pregnant women and all, but there's one girl on my Facebook who is pregnant and she just so happens to be the one I work with who rubs it in my face that she got pregnant the first try and I very much did not. The one who stole the quote I wanted and the crib dh and I were looking at.

Her statuses always, ALWAYS have the following in them...I've had to hide them.

"we are absolutely BLESSED"
"love to feel my precious miracle moving around"
"i can't wait to meet my beautiful angel, we're so blessed!!"
"we're the luckiest parents ever! "
"our little angel is going to be so spoiled!!"

...it's just overkill. Always has to be a status like that. It never fails. It's too braggy to be completely accidental. All day, every day. Not to mention weekly belly pictures and she recently had one where she was sitting with a dumb smile on her face holding her belly with a caption like the above^^^.

She also tells me every few weeks how as soon as they have this little girl (July) they're trying for another one. Chances are, she'll be pregnant with that one before me, too.

I had a dream last night she was buying a pregnancy test at work, and I started crying right then and there.

 

[CatLady80]

I am finding it funny that the other women in my family are so fertile that they have been surrogate moms for women overseas. They keep having twins for people and get paid thousands to do so.
And then theres me.
O and my cousin just called to say shes preg AGAIN with her 4th, she has 1 child per husband. GAH!

 

[wonderstars]

Catlady, I'm looking at your signature and the Doctor saying no caffeine. I can't believe we even have to concentrate on crap like that!

I refuse to give up my 1 cup of coffee. I've given up everything and I still don't have my BFP. Maybe if I say f* it all, it'll happen?

I think I may have been overstimulated this last cycle of Clomid 50mg. I was literally double over in ovulation pain last night......

Watch, I'm going to conceive 10 babies.