Ultimate Venting Thread

[Armywife84]

The whole world is royal family mad, even in America.

There's this trashy tabloid that has a picture of her dress hanging off her gaunt frame, and they're speculating it's a baby bump.

 

[smallstar]

Moring ladies, my weekend started with me on a major downer just kept thinking about the whole IF issue and then literally EVERYTHING was making me angry....AT MYSELF!!!!
I felt that it was all my fault because i had smoked a cigarette on a night out two weeks ago, because I drank myself into oblivion on a Friday night after work, because I had a cup of coffee at my parents because they don’t have decaf, because i stopped taking clomid, because i have hot baths, because I FRICKING BREATH!!!!
I felt awful literally until Sunday afternoon, when my other half walks telling me how he had bumped into our friends cousin after work yesterday and they said we should come see them and their new baby, oh and bring my friend along (the cousin) and the husband and they have just found out they are pregnant!!!

REALLY!!?!? that would literally be like the day out from HELL!!!!
I got so mad at him for being so flippant and insensitive!!! And argued about how he clearly had forgotten how bad things were and how much i was struggling at the minute!

Don’t know what’s wrong with me of late but im starting to feel really down about things

To top it all off, probably the whole weekend has played on my mind i dreamt last night that my sister was pregnant!!! Felt sick when i woke up this morning just thinking about it!!!

Weekend =

 

[zanDark]

Wonderstars: I do that too but I have some extra chub at all times whether I'm bloated or not so I often stick my chub out more to see what I'd look like pregnant!

Smallstar

Whenever these nasty thoughts pop in your head think of all the people that get pregnant while abusing various substances! It's NOT your fault hun and you have nothing to feel bad about!

I was like this too and gave up EVERYTHING for my IUIs and TTC! But after a while (a loooong while ) I figured that there was no point in making myself miserable by denying myself my few guilty pleasures...especially when ALL of my friends getting pregnant are smokers, coffee and alcohol drinkers etc!

I took up smoking again (I know I know!) and drinking my yummy coffee! Don't go overboard...just let yourself ENJOY a few of the things you like here and there and don't feel guilty about it!! Your little bean will show up soon either way

and to all the ladies that are about to be "attacked" by the royal pregnancy: This is why I never watch TV anymore other than series and movies I get all my info from reading news online and refuse to watch anything news related on TV to avoid pregnant celebrities! I see enough pregnant people around me as it is!


My semi rant: AF you bitch I'm not going to let you take me down I'm in soooo much pain as always but I managed to get up, swiffer the house to within an inch of it's life hoover and mop twice, cook...and now I'm all achey and proud of myself for not turning into the blubbering crying version of me like I do every month AND I'm going to spend all day tomorrow with my girlfriends drinking starbucks and going out for yummy seafood by the beach! so HA!

*collapses*

 

[zanDark]

wow I use so many smilies my posts look like tiny villages

 

[BearsMummy]

Depression hit me hard again last night and I just can't seem to snap out of it.

I don't even know what triggered it.

Even baking cakes today has not lifted my mood and that normally does it.

I think I used all my positivity last week and now its gone and hidden somewhere.

 

[smallstar]

Awww Evie i know i know!!! I did at the start of TTC literally give up EVERYTHING too, and then convinced myself that THAT was the reason i wasn’t getting pregnant because id thrown my body into a frenzy, so just before Christmas last year (after last round of clomid!) i thought to hell with it, and i stated to ENJOY life....my WHOLE life was consumed with TTC and i had denied myself all the things i liked and events we had been invited too just in case i was pregnant (NEVER happened!)

I have got a lot better but i do have bad days where i reflect and beat myself up for it....im sure tomorrow ill be fine!!!

I am seriously dreading the "royal pregnancy" frenzy which is going to be plastered EVERYWHERE!!! boo

P.S I am so jealous of your seafood by the beach!!!! Sounds perfect Enjoy and use it as a full on up yours to the AF witch mwhhhhaaa haaa haaa!!!!

x

 

[smallstar]

Depression hit me hard again last night and I just can't seem to snap out of it.

I don't even know what triggered it.

Even baking cakes today has not lifted my mood and that normally does it.

I think I used all my positivity last week and now its gone and hidden somewhere.

Karen i completely know what you mean....sucks

Think we need to put out a missing emotion call...POSITIVITY WHERE ARE YOU!!!!!?????

x

 

[StephieB]

It seems we've all gone through the cycle of living like complete angels for a good couple of months, and then realising that lifes just too short!

I used to be SO good when I first started TTC, no alcohol unless AF was here, no fatty foods, plenty of sleep, no coffee, no adventurous sex after ovulation just incase it dislodged an egg (I'm genuinely serious my DH worried about this) blah blah blah...I turned into such a bitch! I was miserable, almost as miserable as when I was on my strict weight watchers diet, everything I had as a vice I took away from myself and it made me even more depressed! Last summer me and DH decided that enough people got pregnant while drunk, on drugs, smoking, drinking etc... that life was too shot, so we stocked the fridge up with alcohol again, ate take aways, drank coffee and it was that month we got our first BFP!! So since then I've been a coffee drinking, take away eating monster who occasionally has a crafty cigarette and I aint changing anytime soon!

Ah Karen and smallstar (Im really sorry, I can't scroll back enough to find your name and I don't want to get it wrong ) sending lots of positivity your way. This poem really made me smile when the depression of LTTTC gets me down, I hope it gives you all something too

There are women that become mothers without effort, without thought, without patience or loss and though they are good mothers and love their children, I know I will be better

I will be better not because of genetics or money or that I have read more books but because I have struggled and toiled for this child. I have longed and waited. I have cried and I prayed. I have endured and planned over and over again

Like most things in life, the people who truly have appreciation are those who have struggled to attain their dreams. I will notice everything about my child . I will take time to watch my child sleep, explore and discover, I will marvel at this miracle everyday for the rest of my life

I will be happy when I wake in the middle of the night to the sound of my child, knowing that I can comfort, hold, and feed him and that I am not waking to take another temperature, pop another pill, take another shot or cry tears of a broken dream. My dream will be crying for me

I count myself lucky in this sense; that God has given me this insight, this special vision with which I will look upon my child that my friends will not see

Whether I parent a child I actually give birth to or a child God leads me to, I will not be careless with my love

I will be a better mother for all that I have endured. I am a better wife, a better aunt, a better daughter, neighbor, a friend and a sister because I have known pain.

I know disillusionment as I have been betrayed by my own body. I have been tired by the fire and hell many never face, yet given time, I stood tall

 

[StephieB]

Also, as for the 'royal baby'. It could just be ANOTHER rumour if that woman had a big meal she'd develop a bump!!

On the plus side, another public holiday when she pops one out

 

[smallstar]

Thanks Steph

The underlying message in this poem is very comforting.....

I just wish that the good luck fairy that keeps visiting EVERYONE else in the WORLD would come and grace me with her presence....just for a an ickle bit please

Cant honestly remember the last time i heard or had some good news....

Jena
x

 

[zanDark]

Karen: those down days really suck

Steph what a lovely poem! thank you for sharing!

 

[StephieB]

I just wish that the good luck fairy that keeps visiting EVERYONE else in the WORLD would come and grace me with her presence....just for a an ickle bit please

Jena!! I knew I knew your name, I do apologise! I think its because I've moved house 3 times in the past 12 months that she can't find me I promise if I do bump into her, or by some miracle she decides to pop by to visit, I'll send her on her way over to all of you, with a GPS system!

 

[BearsMummy]

Aww, my new tweetie must know I'm feeling down, he is singing me a lovely song!!

Here's a pic of the new addition to my family.....

Everyone, meet Tony!

 

[uwa_amanda]

Aww, my new tweetie must know I'm feeling down, he is singing me a lovely song!!

Here's a pic of the new addition to my family.....

Everyone, meet Tony!

Pretty bird Karen! Hopefully his song made you feel better!

 

[StephieB]

Aaaah gorgoeus birdy (and wallpaper..) my cats would LOVE him

 

[Armywife84]

Karen- What a handsome little fellow! He can sing??!! Fantastic! Does he talk as well?

Evie- I want to relax in Greece on a beach!!

Smallstar, Stephie- I agree with bringing your vices back. They tend to get you through rough times. There's been times when I've wanted a ciggy but have yet to indulge (I haven't smoked since 2008) .

RANT (not baby related):

I'm browsing online shopping sites (US and UK) and I notice that trend is to wear your top 2 sizes too big. I'm slim, but one would need a body to resemble a clothes hanger (mannequin, really) to pull that look off. It's becoming a challenge to find summer clothing that flatters my hourglass figure. I don't wish to disguise it!

 

[Doodlebug.]

Stephie that poem is lovely, it brought a tear to my eye

 

[StephieB]

Army - Being 5 foot nothing and being a little chunky currently (thanks to bringing back my vices and becoming "relaxed" in my married bliss ) I find it extremely difficult to find summer clothes that I feel comfortable in!! I definitely find online shopping to be a nightmare (Although I spend hours trawling ASOS!)

I can't wear maxi dresses, as I'm too short I trip over them and look a tit. I can't wear the tops that seem to be all the rage that barely cover your tummy as I hate having it out, I can't wear skirts very often as my legs are too short they always end up a stupid length, those baggy t shirts your talking about look like I've just borrowed something of my dads! To top to all off, my boobs are too big to buy matching bikini sets to I usually end up with odd tops and bottoms

I think I'm going to become a nudist just to make it easier in life!

 

[Lady H]

Also, as for the 'royal baby'. It could just be ANOTHER rumour if that woman had a big meal she'd develop a bump!!

On the plus side, another public holiday when she pops one out

Hell if she ate a peanut she would have a bump!

 

[zanDark]

Army and Steph I have a tough time with summer clothes too!

I love maxi dresses and I have the height for them...but get this...since I have a bit of chub around my mid section they tend to make me look pregnant how's that for ironic

so I stick to flowy shirts or tshirts and my beloved skinny jeans tyvm!