Ultimate Venting Thread

[Armywife84]

i seriously think that thread 'it can happen' should be removed not just closed im after reading the last 3 posts there by secondary lttc's and others who are obviously not lttc and they are being very offensive and rude, im very annoyed they they can come in here and call us bitter and past it and we should just give up and look to other options. im really angry and offended. im seroulsy condsitering not returning to this site any more because of this rosebud

Oh no please stay! People are going to always going to call us bitter, rude, cows, jealous, and the list goes on. Forget them, laugh it off.

I was trying to get you to laugh about it, not be upset about it. I'm so very sorry.

 

[Just_married]

seriously who does snowglobe21 think she is a 21 yr old pregant cow posting on here getting herself off by being nasty to those who are dealing with lttc. this is the comment she made on it can happen.

" there are too many bitter old bitties on here that are past the stage of realistically having a chance and should just consider other options.

this is a link to the question i have opened in help asking for a option to ban trolls like her from posting on here.


https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/f...member-barred-posting-forum.html#post18975663

I found that quite disturbing thread altogether. It was obviously misleading as others say softcups won't work for blOcked tubes, maybe she forgot to mention tubal surgery b4 using the softcups? Hmmm

At best it was a bit insensitive and shd def have been in success stories.

The issue that really got to me there was the competitive streak for ltttc, I've never ever felt any resentment from you ladies who have been trying for yrs, I'm only onto cycle 17 on wed and have always said I take my hat off to those of you who support & encourage and make me laugh about the daft things we do to try and get a bfp. I would hate to think I was offending any ltttc by being here after only 14 months TTC. If so, I truly apologise!

Xxx

 

[Armywife84]

seriously who does snowglobe21 think she is a 21 yr old pregant cow posting on here getting herself off by being nasty to those who are dealing with lttc. this is the comment she made on it can happen.

" there are too many bitter old bitties on here that are past the stage of realistically having a chance and should just consider other options.

this is a link to the question i have opened in help asking for a option to ban trolls like her from posting on here.


https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/f...member-barred-posting-forum.html#post18975663

I found that quite disturbing thread altogether. It was obviously misleading as others say softcups won't work for blOcked tubes, maybe she forgot to mention tubal surgery b4 using the softcups? Hmmm

At best it was a bit insensitive and shd def have been in success stories.

The issue that really got to me there was the competitive streak for ltttc, I've never ever felt any resentment from you ladies who have been trying for yrs, I'm only onto cycle 17 on wed and have always said I take my hat off to those of you who support & encourage and make me laugh about the daft things we do to try and get a bfp. I would hate to think I was offending any ltttc by being here after only 14 months TTC. If so, I truly apologise!

Xxx

JM, you're over 35 so it's like you're at 2 years. Don't fret, you're certainly LTTC (as bad as that sounds, ).

 

[rosebud_01_99]

i dont get offened by hw long women are ttc and i dont care if you post here abt things that get too us all like coping with childless in our family life ect, but i do get offened when someone ttc for perhaps 2yrs or something gets pg and feels they have beaten all odds and post on her to give us hope! and basicly try to give advice to someone who has been ttc for decades, and has tried everything, do you know what im saying? thanks rosebud

 

[BearsMummy]

I agree, out of the nearly 1000 posts on this thread, I have never seen any of us be competitve about how long we have been LTTTC!

We are all in the same boat and have the same feelings regardless of how long its been.

Just_Married, don't be daft! We love you!!

 

[Armywife84]

i dont get offened by hw long women are ttc and i dont care if you post here abt things that get too us all like coping with childless in our family life ect, but i do get offened when someone ttc for perhaps 2yrs or something gets pg and feels they have beaten all odds and post on her to give us hope! and basicly try to give advice to someone who has been ttc for decades, and has tried everything, do you know what im saying? thanks rosebud

Patronizing, in other words.

 

[StephieB]

Rosebud don't leave

What was said in that thread was hurtful, spiteful and down right rude, but she is just one tiny little blip in on the bumpy road of LTTTC, and you have all of us behind you and here for you every step of the way, if you leave people like her have won and we would miss you

The issue that really got to me there was the competitive streak for ltttc, I've never ever felt any resentment from you ladies who have been trying for yrs, I'm only onto cycle 17 on wed and have always said I take my hat off to those of you who support & encourage and make me laugh about the daft things we do to try and get a bfp. I would hate to think I was offending any ltttc by being here after only 14 months TTC. If so, I truly apologise!

I agree I don't like that LTTTC was made to look like a competitive sport in that thead, but I can completely understand, in that situation why it was brought up. Like you said as far as most of us are concerned LTTTC is LTTTC, at 2 years 4 months I'm still a newbie in this catergory, but I have never felt any resentment from members like Rosebud, Karen, wannabe or Jackie, who I know have been fighting this for much longer than me, I have just felt support, encouragement and inspiration from them

Karen we've missed you on here the past few days! So glad to see your face (name?) again As for the job thats just downright uncalled for, they can't not give you an explanation, and really if they are going to do something like that to you during the application process, chances are you're better off not working for a place like that as it would only get worse! (I know its easier said than done!)

 

[zanDark]

I love you guys and wanted to offer and to let you know that my PM box is always open if you need a chat or some hugs


loads of to all my wonderful ladies in hopes that each and every one of you will get your bfp soon.

 

[StephieB]

 

[StephieB]

vent (it is the venting thread after all...)

I just don't understand how in the past week or so, three regular, active members of the LTTTC forums have been so upset they have felt that they no longer feel comfortable in here, because of callous and hurtful messages posted by others. Now I'm not saying all of these messages were designed to cause intentional hurt, but they caused hurt non the less.

Yet all I see are my friends, woman who I get so much support and guidance from being reprimanded time after time for comments they have made in the heat of the moment, when they are upset, hurt and trying to defend their circumstances and feelings (which shouldn't have to be done in the LTTTC forum) yet the members who have made the hurtful remarks to LTTTC-ers (whether intentional or not) don't appear to have been pulled up for it at all.

Now I fully understand that there is a lot of 'behind the scenes' that goes on with BnB, I have friends who are moderators of successful popular websites, but to the public viewer, it is just woman who are so hurt from the journey they are going through that we automatically jump to defend ourselves, that appear to be 'the bad ones'

 

[StephieB]

On second thoughts in my not so eloquently put words.

This forum is turning into an absolute load of bollocks!!! One rule for one, and a completely different rule for everyone else.

We might as well rename this forum "LTTTC - Full of hurting woman longing for a child, feel free to go and belittle them when you're bored, they can't fight back"

 

[Zfbaby]

Came on tonight to add to my bad day vent ( got pooed on twice by birds today ) and thought I'd read the posts that everyone was referring to. All I can say is wow. Do ppl really think like that, that if you're older you should give up??? Is that not the same as someone older saying "you're only 24 or whatever, come back in a few years". You can't help when the desire for children takes you. I get so upset when ppl say you're only 29 you've got plenty of time. My body doesn't think so

 

[Just_married]

You know the things I love love love about this thread is (obviously that you girls are all gorgeous charlies angels 'I got your back' kinda girls) but also that none of you symptom spot ever. It has to be the most irritating thing EVER!

I remember even as a new member my mind was boggling at the 'my left nipple was itching' and worst of all some woman saying she got her husband to compare the colour of her (ahem) lips (urgh!) as she read that when pregnant they go purply pink, oh but they also go that colour before af. Uum, what the heck? And the ones who start a whole thread listing their symptoms at 3 dpo. Here comes the science bit lol

Not really a vent, more of a 'I'm glad I gave this thread' statement! X

 

[uwa_amanda]

You know the things I love love love about this thread is (obviously that you girls are all gorgeous charlies angels 'I got your back' kinda girls) but also that none of you symptom spot ever. It has to be the most irritating thing EVER!

I remember even as a new member my mind was boggling at the 'my left nipple was itching' and worst of all some woman saying she got her husband to compare the colour of her (ahem) lips (urgh!) as she read that when pregnant they go purply pink, oh but they also go that colour before af. Uum, what the heck? And the ones who start a whole thread listing their symptoms at 3 dpo. Here comes the science bit lol

Not really a vent, more of a 'I'm glad I gave this thread' statement! X

Me too...that's part of the reason why I don't frequent the ttc section much. It seems like every other thread is "4dpo...my boobs are huge!" or "6dpo...BFN...losing it!" or whatever. I was all positive and all when we first started trying, but some of it can get a little ridiculous. And then when you realize that there's a problem, and you won't get pregnant so easily, you start to face reality. That's about the time you realize that symptom spotting is driving you nuts and does absolutely NO good whatsoever except get your hopes up only to be devastated when the shows her ugly face. *jumps off soapbox*

My vent for the day: If you are going to be late for work, come up with a better excuse than "my pregnant sister just got put in the hospital." Now it wouldn't be so bad if the girl ACTUALLY LIVED IN THE SAME STATE!!!!! Nope...girlie's 250+ miles away. So when the guy finally came in an hour and fifteen minutes late, he got suspended for the rest of the week. Not only did he get punished, but his partner ended up having to do double work and will be all week long. She's about to go insane already and it's only Monday.

 

[NavyWife84]

Came on tonight to add to my bad day vent ( got pooed on twice by birds today ) and thought I'd read the posts that everyone was referring to. All I can say is wow. Do ppl really think like that, that if you're older you should give up??? Is that not the same as someone older saying "you're only 24 or whatever, come back in a few years". You can't help when the desire for children takes you. I get so upset when ppl say you're only 29 you've got plenty of time. My body doesn't think so

Sorry about the birds
People are so damn judgemental! I'm going to let a little honesty out and I know I will probably piss some of you wonderful ladies off and I appologize in advance. I love having your support and being able to support you as well, so I hope I don't get shunned, lol...
I'm sorry I am "only" 28 and I have "only" been ttc for just under two years but it still hurts. I have been through all of the tests that they do for infertility, have been on clomid for 4 months, and have had 3 iuis. I am up for ivf very soon. It has always been my dream to have kids young (I wanted to have my first at 24) and I wanted 4 kids. However, I also wanted a career, a husband, and stability before beginning to ttc. I didn't get married until I was 24 and we waited 2 years to get settled before ttc. My dad got very sick when I was 6 and therefore never had the energy for me that he had for my older brother and sister. I have been terrified my whole life of not having enough energy for my kids, especially my youngest ones because they would be born when I was "older". Now 30 is quickly approaching (I know that isn't old but in my mind it is) and I am so afraid that my kids are going to have friends with young moms with lots of energy and I am going to feel like I have failed my kids. Having kids young is no longer an option for me. I was supposed to be working on number 3 by now. My dad was given 20 years tops to live and that was 23 years ago. Thank God modern science and medicine has kept him healthy and he no longer has a "death sentence" over his head. Furthermore, young cancer runs in my family, affecting some of my family members as early as 40. I know that doesn't mean I will get sick, but it terrifies me. Being sick doesn't terrify me, but putting dh and my kids through that at such a young age terrifies me. I know my struggles haven't been near as long or as hard as most of you, but I always felt like I belonged here until recently. I don't belong in the regular ttc section with women getting bfps every day and now I kind of feel like I don't belong here. I'm not over 35 and I have not been ttc for over 2 years. So I guess I don't belong anywhere? I don't mean to be throwing a pitty party here, but I have been upset by this all day. I would never compare myself to you ladies who have been at this so much longer than me. I understand I am still a "newbie" but I still feel like I belong in the lttc section. Tbh...I feel that anyone who has been ttc for over a year should be welcomed into the ltttc forums. Afterall, that is when the docs start doing testing and treatments.
That being said, I am totally on your side when it comes to the arguement that occured on the other thread. Knowing that I haven't been at this as long as most of the ltttc ladies, I would never compare myself to you. I would also never post anything about my bfp in the ltttc section, unless it was in the success stories forum. I also know that I am very fortunate to have the insurance I have and am able to quickly move on to ivf without being on a waiting list. But, that is my decision and like I said I am very lucky. I would never tell another ltttcer (or any other woman for that matter) to just move past it and move on with other means of having children...or however it was said. Alternate methods arnt for everyone nor are they an option for many people.
I agree with stephie that we aren't being respected as we should and don't have the support from admin that everyone else gets. Both sides usually get nasty, but we seem to be the ones that get reprimanded. It just doesn't seem fair. I guess we have to start reporting others before they report us and ask wobbles to remove the insulting posts. I really don't want to lose bnb and the wonderful ladies on here, but I am really getting discouraged lately.
I really do admire you ladies and (as strange as it seems) look up to you women who have been at this for so much longer than I have.

 

[uwa_amanda]

I have started getting discouraged too, but don't for once think that you aren't welcome here with the rest of us. You are welcome here with open arms.

Here lately, I'll post whenever I feel like my post won't offend anyone. But after what's been going on lately, I'm just mainly reading and responding generically. I read that other thread and decided it wouldn't do me any good to respond because I was afraid that it would piss someone off. I wouldn't have been mean about anything said, I just didn't want to deal with it. I ended up leaving BnB for a couple of days to get away from it all after the first chain of events that happened.

 

[StephieB]

Jenn why would that piss any of us off?

I'm sorry that whatever has been said today has made you upset and like you don't belong, you do belong!! Personally, and I can't speak for everyone, I don't care how many months any of you have been trying, how old you are or where you're from, all I know is that you all understand and we all grieve the same way.

Heck, if you don't belong, neither do I! Hello, my names Stephanie I'm "only" 24 and I've "only" been TTC for 2 years and 4 months. Due to the country I livein I have only just been given access to clomid, I don't know when ill get access to Iui, and I don't know if ill ever be eligible for iivf.

Our journeys are all different, we have different stories, attitudes and coping mechanisms, but we should all be united in a shared goal and help each other to reach it and console those who don't.

This is all getting a bit to sentimentalfor me now. Pop. Bums. Willie.boobs :

 

[StephieB]

It saddens me that people don't feel like they can respond in here anymore, partly for selfish reasons as this is my only form of support with TTC, but mostly because just like so many of us havesuffered in real life, we're becoming censored in what we can say about the struggles of infertility. Its a real shame that on BnB you don't seem to get a say unless you have a pram to push or a bump to rub.

 

[wonderstars]

I just came to this forum after 1 year TTC. I don't think anyone should be compared. No matter how long or how short you've been TTC'ing, no matter if you're primary or secondary, whether you're young or old. Doesn't matter about any of that because I came to the forum because I knew people would understand the pain of going through infertility.

I'd never even THINK of coming to this forum and randomly posting about my BFP. I know where everyone has been and I would never want anyone to do that to me. I guess that's what bothers me. I see no LTTCers going into other forums to cause harm. However, I see many women come in here and cause harm. There is a reason that so many forums out there call for no mention of BFPs or children in the forum. You do and you're cut.

I have also stopped posting frequently because I feel like you do uwa. When I created this thread, I felt safe in venting. I don't feel safe in doing that anymore. I came here because I can't talk to anyone in real life, now I feel as if all we do is defend ourselves in every arena.

 

[zanDark]

Steph said it perfectly

First of all...I'm truly sorry if I ever said anything that made someone feel unwelcome or uncomfortable, I also apologize to the mods if I caused them extra work or I frustrated them...I know how difficult it is to mod and I always try my best to follow rules. I've never intentionally meant to frustrate anyone, and I always try to word my posts carefully to avoid misunderstandings.

For me...everything that's happened over the past couple of weeks has nothing to do with how long people have been trying, how old they are, or how many kids they already have...it's about being called names by people holding babies in their arms or feeling them moving around in their bellies....it's about being insulted for feeling hurt.

those people...even if they were LTTTC for 19 years before they had their babies...are not a part of this support group...and I can't imagine them being a member of any support group for that matter since they're very obviously incapable of feeling compassion. If they were they wouldn't be kicking people while they're down.

It's as simple as that. I honestly don't think anyone has a problem with how long people have been TTC.

The reason I'm no longer going to post in LTTTC is because I'm tired of being forced to defend myself and then getting into trouble for doing so.

LTTTC is a dark, angry, and hurtful place...and unfortunately constantly misunderstood...even in the place dedicated to it...I guess it's going to have to continue being lonely too.