Ultimate Venting Thread

[StorkStalker]

Armywife.. its true.. unfortunately for us, in the real world this is a long and lonely road.. family doesn´t completely get it, friends (specially super fertile ones) don´t get it.. sometimes husbands get it, other times they are dumb/numb about it... I am not very good with words, but I get exactly how you feel, and I wish I could take that hurt away... from all of us... And at least in here we are not alone and we care for each other.. Big big hug...

 

[LaurenTCanada]

I want to vent about adoption! Just out of curiosity's sake I browsed through a local private adoption agency's website. The cost to adopt a baby is apparently between $14,000 - $18,000. WHAT?! Outrageous! Apparently IF couples have to be rich to get a baby. Sure, you can adopt through Child Protective Services at no cost, but you are guaranteed NOT to get an infant. I want to be there to witness the first smile, first laugh, first step, etc. I don't think I could handle adopting a toddler/young child from CPS.

Why is it welfare trash can have as many babies as they want with no one questioning their annual income?

My DH and I are financially stable although we do not make BIG $$. Apparently that is not enough. Adoption is out of the question.

 

[wonderstars]

I hear ya Lauren. When people comment "you can always adopt" I want to tell them that it isn't easy. You also don't automatically adopt a baby. Also, many adoptions in Canada are public adoptions which makes it so that a baby's parents can always be in touch. Not that I want to be mean but I want a baby to be my baby so that just wouldn't work for me, as much as that makes me sound selfish.

Ugh, Army, you sound like you need a good old shopping trip too. Wanna virtually shop with me and Navy?

 

[LaurenTCanada]

I hear ya Lauren. When people comment "you can always adopt" I want to tell them that it isn't easy. You also don't automatically adopt a baby. Also, many adoptions in Canada are public adoptions which makes it so that a baby's parents can always be in touch. Not that I want to be mean but I want a baby to be my baby so that just wouldn't work for me, as much as that makes me sound selfish.

That is not selfish at all. I completely agree with you. You would think that keeping the birth parents in your child's life would cause unnecessary drama and confusion for that child. There is a reason the parents are giving their baby up for adoption in the first place. That is the whole point of it... because they can't take care of it. Automatically I feel it should all boil down to that.

 

[wonderstars]

I'm kicking myself for not going to get testing earlier with my gynecologist and not asking for a referral to a fertility specialist right away. I could been starting clomid and iui in feb! Now I may be wasting my clear tubes.

Vent over. I'm jealous of you ladies who have therapies in the near future. My follow up on feb 14 can't come soon enough.

Sigh.

 

[Armywife84]

I'm definitely jealous of any of you ladies making progress in your journey. We have to wait till after May to pinch back $$ for a few IUIs that most likely won't work. And cross our fingers that insurance will cover the visits, ultrasounds, and any meds.

 

[uwa_amanda]

I hear ya Lauren. When people comment "you can always adopt" I want to tell them that it isn't easy. You also don't automatically adopt a baby. Also, many adoptions in Canada are public adoptions which makes it so that a baby's parents can always be in touch. Not that I want to be mean but I want a baby to be my baby so that just wouldn't work for me, as much as that makes me sound selfish.

Ugh, Army, you sound like you need a good old shopping trip too. Wanna virtually shop with me and Navy?

I have replied that way. I have definitely said "it ain't that easy to adopt. You can't just go pick out a baby like you can a puppy and take it home.". I am fed up with know it all people who rub it all in my face. What I hate more is when my BEST friend responds, "well you can always play with my kids.". THAT pissed me off royally. So I hardly talk to her about it anymore. She, like everybody else, does not understand what we are going through. It has made me a very bitter person, this unexplained infertility.

 

[lian_83]

I'm doing my polypectomy surgery tomorrow, which I will pay from my meager savings. I know I could battle it out with my insurance company or my ex-husband's but it could take weeks if not months. I feel so tired already, I have already lost a husband because of my infertility (yup, I lost him because of this! he would have been a great dad and I'm really the loser in this. Thanks to this polyp..)

Anyway, I don't know if he's ever coming back but I decided to just remove this nasty thing ASAP because TBH, I'm so angry with it, and I'm so angry with myself for TTC blindly for almost 3 years without looking at the possibility that I have fertility issues. I spent hundreds of dollars on acupuncture and alternative treatments when this could have easily been spotted by a simple pelvic exam. It was my fault, I dug my own grave.

My friends told me to stop blaming myself because my husband should have manned up and stuck with me throughout this, but our circumstances are extremely unique, being interracial and different cultures, and also the lack of support from his family. I mean, we always have great sex and that's something that sustained our relationship, but when we started TTC, at first it became more amazing, but soon, it turned to frustrations. The spontaneity was replaced with O-2, O-1, O and my hips on the wall. We avoided oral sex (because saliva kills sperm), no woman-on-top (because we don't want sperm to be going against gravity), and everything else... Plus everytime I get AF, I become so cranky towards him.

sorry, long, long rant!!!

 

[LaurenTCanada]

I hear ya Lauren. When people comment "you can always adopt" I want to tell them that it isn't easy. You also don't automatically adopt a baby. Also, many adoptions in Canada are public adoptions which makes it so that a baby's parents can always be in touch. Not that I want to be mean but I want a baby to be my baby so that just wouldn't work for me, as much as that makes me sound selfish.

Ugh, Army, you sound like you need a good old shopping trip too. Wanna virtually shop with me and Navy?

I have replied that way. I have definitely said "it ain't that easy to adopt. You can't just go pick out a baby like you can a puppy and take it home.". I am fed up with know it all people who rub it all in my face. What I hate more is when my BEST friend responds, "well you can always play with my kids.". THAT pissed me off royally. So I hardly talk to her about it anymore. She, like everybody else, does not understand what we are going through. It has made me a very bitter person, this unexplained infertility.

What a RUDE thing to say. Do people not THINK at ALL before they open their mouths? I wouldn't talk to her anymore. Goodbye!

 

[NavyWife84]

I'm doing my polypectomy surgery tomorrow, which I will pay from my meager savings. I know I could battle it out with my insurance company or my ex-husband's but it could take weeks if not months. I feel so tired already, I have already lost a husband because of my infertility (yup, I lost him because of this! he would have been a great dad and I'm really the loser in this. Thanks to this polyp..)

Anyway, I don't know if he's ever coming back but I decided to just remove this nasty thing ASAP because TBH, I'm so angry with it, and I'm so angry with myself for TTC blindly for almost 3 years without looking at the possibility that I have fertility issues. I spent hundreds of dollars on acupuncture and alternative treatments when this could have easily been spotted by a simple pelvic exam. It was my fault, I dug my own grave.

My friends told me to stop blaming myself because my husband should have manned up and stuck with me throughout this, but our circumstances are extremely unique, being interracial and different cultures, and also the lack of support from his family. I mean, we always have great sex and that's something that sustained our relationship, but when we started TTC, at first it became more amazing, but soon, it turned to frustrations. The spontaneity was replaced with O-2, O-1, O and my hips on the wall. We avoided oral sex (because saliva kills sperm), no woman-on-top (because we don't want sperm to be going against gravity), and everything else... Plus everytime I get AF, I become so cranky towards him.

sorry, long, long rant!!!

DH and I go through that with our sex life. It has become more of a chore. I try to spice things up, but he thinks lingiree is a waste (he'd rather see me naked) and neither of us are confident for toys or anything. Sometimes he makes me feel so unattractive because there is no foreplay or anything! He says he is always "too tired". Neither of us had a very good sex drive to begin with, but now I feel like he is pulling away from it. I just wish we could get pregnant already so neither of us feels pressured anymore! We avoid oral sex as well but I have to be on top as he just had knee surgery and can't be on top (there goes the possibility of multiple positions!)

Oh dear, I was trying to let you know that you aren't the only one, but I ended up turning it into my own rant! Anyway, I'm really sorry all of this is happening to you and it messed up your marriage. But please don't be angry at yourself. A lot of women wait to get things checked out.

 

[lian_83]

Thanks Navy! It sucks, right?? I hope u get your soon.
____

Need to rant again - another pregnant friend from a popped condom. They've only been going out for 2 months and just like that.. I want to die!!

 

[Armywife84]

Evidently they've never heard of the morning after pill.

Insurance rant (for a change):

So apparently my ultrasound was denied by TriCare stating that I'm in the wrong region??!! My location is completely irrelevant you feckers! What if I had an asthma attack in IL and had to go to the ER? It's not covered because I had it on TriCare North's turf? I don't think so.

Basically I had to call all sorts of insurance numbers and sort out my claims that have been submitted by the hospital, so I can fecking wrap up this last round of fertility testing! Then call back the healthcare manager to tell her what to do, because she doesn't know how to deal with TriCare. Hell, the reps at TriCare are ignorant twats who don't even know what they're doing! They better all be covered . I don't need this right now.

 

[wonderstars]

Yuck, as if infertility isn't enough, it sucks that one always has to worry about the financial crap and/or fighting the insurance companies. Boo. I hope it doesn't take long to sort, Army.

Oh the good old popped condom. Was she not on the pill? Crikey.

No vents from me today because it's one of those day where it's all so pointless. In a 2WW. I shouldn't expect anything but there's that one little part of my brain that won't shut the f* up with it's positivity.

 

[cooch]

Wow ladies- this thread has really taken off!! I wonder why, lol.

Wonderstars are you on meds as well??

 

[StorkStalker]

OH vent... Why, why why is it that my DH can not understand why I melt down when a pregnancy is announced and/or a baby is born?? He is clueless as why this affects or concerns me in any way!!! I can´t stand that he looks at me like I am a mad person when I blow up because another friend is having their 2nd baby while we are trying... He just tells me that shouldn´t get to me, it´s their story not ours and why can´t I just be happy for them?? WHY?? why should I be happy for anyone one more time, and not for me?? And why does my H not feel the same?? It drives me mad that people we know have gone from NT to TTC to Pregnant to Baby... to NT between babies, to TTC 2nd one, to pregnant, to having 2nd baby (and so).. WHILE we have been LTTC... I can not feel happy or even indifferent about this... And I want to strangle my H for not getting it after ALL THIS TIME.

 

[cooch]

Totally get you. My poor DH is feeling every pregnancy announcement too though, kinda wish I could take it away from him. He is hurting quite a bit too. x

 

[wonderstars]

StorkStalker, our husbands should get together. Mine looks at me like I'm an alien when I am distraught over another announcement. "Be happy for them. I don't understand why you can't be. Our journey is just a different one". F* the journey. I hear ya lady, I hear ya.

Cooch, not on meds yet. I'm hoping at my appointment my Gyne makes the Fertility Specialist referral and tries me on a few rounds of clomid while I wait (4 months or so). Other than the fact that my cervix is high and narrow, there really shouldn't be anything else stopping us.

 

[Armywife84]

StorkStalker- I simply tell my DH I don't have that much happiness to go around. There's just too many to try to be happy for while we're wallowing in our own self pity (someone's got to do it, no one else pays us any mind).

My Rant: I with Wonderstars I'm not feeling this 2WW. There's nothing in my womb. So if I could get induced into a deep sleep for the next 9 days that would be wonderful!

One thing that really annoys me is when celebrities get pregnant. It's like the baby bump is a fashion accessory rather than wanting to expand your family, or the will to be a mother.

 

[wonderstars]

One thing that really annoys me is when celebrities get pregnant. It's like the baby bump is a fashion accessory rather than wanting to expand your family, or the will to be a mother.

I was just going to snoop on the forum this evening but omg, this this this. Also the fact that they don't come out and tell people how hard it was to get pregnant at 40 years of age etc...

While I'm here, yet another cycle with short luteal phase. Spotting at 8DPO. I've heard that Clomid helps so he better be giving it to me on the Feb 14th appt.

 

[Calasen]

ARGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!

I'm not sure whether to be happy or very angry right now!!!

Just got back from my new doctor, who is brillient! for a completely unrelated issue to TTC, for blood test results and he decided to look back over the last load of blood tests I had done going back 3 years. He knows we have been TTC for a while now and noticed that in every test my progesterone levels were in fact very low, they are supposed to be between 8-20 ng/ml and mine are all coming back around 2 ng/ml. Each of these tests we had been told that they were fine!!!!! He's reordered the progeterons tests for 21 days in cycle (now to just wait for ), recommendid Clomid if it still comes back low, and started ball rolling for OH to get a seman analysis.

The last doctor we had, had assured us all was fine and that there was nothing to be done until 2 years, and was basically an evil b****.

Am very tempted to file a complaint but if I do that I may lose new doctor as they are in the same practice.