Unplanned pregnancy and unhappy OH :(

[Blizzard]

Hi hun, I'm 23 and in my second year of uni. I'm also married and this baby was planned . There are some people who would say I was a bit young but it's what I want and that's what matters. Like me there is no reason you can't finish your degree and I assume you're in England in which case as a student you're eligible for lots of help. If you want to talk feel free to private message me hun and I'll do my best to help

Let me know what you decide and best wishes. xxx

 

[Sew_Sweet]

My boyfriend (now husband of 7 years) and I had only been dating 1 month when I found out I was pregnant (oops!!). He was very supportive luckily. Remember first of all that just because your boyfriend is the daddy of your baby does not mean you have to marry the man. You might someday decide you want to - or you may not. After all you have only known each other a short time as you say. But also due to that - you need to listen to yourself when it comes to this. This is your baby-forever-no matter if your relationship with your boyfriend is temporary or not. If you want to keep it - don't let anyone else sway you.

I was also in my last year of college and ended up finishing it after baby as the timing was bad for finals and my due date - but it all got done! It's really no big deal! I honestly never even considered abortion even though the situation was not ideal. In fact I was a little excited about it even - perhaps moreso than even this pregnancy where I am MUCH more financially prepared. I am glad to hear he is saying he will help support you no matter what (which makes it easier for you either way) but if you want to keep baby - don't be wishy washy about it - just tell him so he can start getting used to the idea and get involved. Talk through it! Good luck!

 

[jools21]

Hi hun, I'm 23 and in my second year of uni. I'm also married and this baby was planned . There are some people who would say I was a bit young but it's what I want and that's what matters. Like me there is no reason you can't finish your degree and I assume you're in England in which case as a student you're eligible for lots of help. If you want to talk feel free to private message me hun and I'll do my best to help

Let me know what you decide and best wishes. xxx

I cant quite work out how to PM you, deeeerp!!! I would love to have someone to talk to about this. I want to keep it, and I think OH has guessed that, I really dont feel like I could terminate something that I love already xxx

 

[MrsJRB]

Honey if you want to feel excited then let yourself x

 

[jools21]

I have tried but I feel stupid for being excited when nobody else is x

 

[Sew_Sweet]

It's not stupid at all - your joy will rub off on others. If they see you being positive they will feel more positive.

 

[chmory]

I'm in the same boat as you.. 24, last year of college. Been living with my oh for 1 year now and just found out I'm pregnant while on the pill. To make matters worse, I have graves disease and my dr is pushing me to terminate.
I feel like it's doomed and not really sure what to do. oh said he would support me through whatever but told me today he doesn't want a child and I am so frustrated and upset I don't know what to do.
Please pm me if you want to talk

 

[Kmx]

im 20 and my pregnancy was also unplanned however after the inital shock it actually feels as though this was meant to be and i honestly am just as happy and excited as a very much planned pregnancy. do what u truly feel is right,,, you will know deep down. and when u do dont look back as it is the right decision for you. dont second guess yourself! hope it works out ok xx

 

[libbylou]

Only you can decide what is right for you and this baby...whether you choose to keep, adopt or terminate - that is YOUR decision and no one else's.
Do not let anyone push you into a decision that you will regret.

My best friend terminated a pregnancy 10 years ago at the age of 19. She was only dating FOB for a month or two, was in UNI and not in a good place financially so she felt pressured into ending the pregnancy.
She recently told me that it is the only thing she has ever regretted doing in her entire life, especially now that she is a mom to 4 amazing kids. You can't undo an abortion, so if this is the route you go, make darn sure its what you want.

Your mom will come around...FOB may or may not come around.

If you want this baby and are excited about it, then screw everyone else...just be happy for this little surprise miracle!

 

[bumpbear]

Hi,

You sound like you really want this baby and its your decision to make. Your parents are understandably a little worried about the situation, but I am sure they will come round in the end. Perhaps OH is a little scared about what you will expect from him: make it clear what your expectations would be to put his mind at ease and he might relax a little (or not). In any case, if he's not happy about it, it's kinda tough luck as he needs to deal with the consequences of his own actions. This is your pregnancy, your decision, and you said you love the baby already. I think we all know what your decision will be, so congratulations - you deserve to be happy and to enjoy this time. x

 

[jools21]

I'm in the same boat as you.. 24, last year of college. Been living with my oh for 1 year now and just found out I'm pregnant while on the pill. To make matters worse, I have graves disease and my dr is pushing me to terminate.
I feel like it's doomed and not really sure what to do. oh said he would support me through whatever but told me today he doesn't want a child and I am so frustrated and upset I don't know what to do.
Please pm me if you want to talk

I have no idea how to PM but please feel free to message me! Thank you everyone for your congratulations, I think I know my decision I just need to make it final xx

 

[Blizzard]

Hi again Jools . I've actually never tried to pm... Gimme a sec

 

[Blizzard]

Hiya, okay click on where it says Blizzard above my profile pic and hit sent private message, I'll reply immediately I'm online now. I've sent you one as well. x

 

[citymouse]

Jools, of course you are excited, you are bringing a new little person into the world! It's exciting business! And I'm sorry if you aren't feeling supported by those around you. You can always come here and be cooed over! We're quite good at doing that for each other.

Follow your heart and don't be bullied into making a decision based on anyone else's opinion. Someone close to me did that and has regretted profoundly for twenty years not following her own instincts.

 

[kris85]

hey I hope you're feeling a little better about everything!

I'm 26, was at uni (have since deferred as i'm too sick to do anything right now) and like you was on the pill.. i cried my eyes out when i got the positive, which seems so wrong when other people try so hard to get pregnant. but anyway, my partner of 3 years wasn't nearly as freaked out as me, but it was still a huge shock.. we toyed around with the idea of getting rid of it but it just always felt wrong. and we figured we didnt know what was going to happen in the future - we may wait and wake up in years to come and may not be able to conceive. i guess we kinda thought if we got pregnant against all odds (ie being on pill etc) then it must be for a reason. now we're really excited about it.. scared, but excited.

in short, if its what you want, do it! when you're holding the baby at the end you wont regret it for a second, sure you're life will never be the same, but in a good way (hopefully!!).. as for the lack of support from family, partner etc.. its sad to hear and it must make it hard, but at the end of the day they need to respect and be happy with what you decide. i'm sure given time they'll come around.. some people we told had interesting reactions, but i guess because it was a surprise we kind of expected it - and they've gotten a lot better about it since.

sorry for long post, but hope it helps in a small way! good luck

 

[Liesje]

I'm in a similar situation... Unexpected and OH wasn't exactly delighted about the whole thing but I think it's more fear than anything. I'm pro choice but I don't buy into the "it's your body and it's your choice and it's your decision" thing... children deserve two parents who love them (if possible)... It's not a nice feeling to be unwanted and it's important to think about whether the child would want you and your partner as parents. These aren't pets that we can make our own decisions about, these are human beings who will need to grow into productive adults.

 

[AmandaC]

I think you need to do what feels right for you. Dont let anyone pressure you into any kind of decision, because in the end, its your body, and your life. I also got pregnant unplanned, and am in my 2nd year of uni. My fiance has been very supportive though. We talked very early on in the relationship about how we would deal with an unplanned pregnancy. In my opinion its something that every couple should discuss as soon as they start having sex. So he knew all along that I would never have an abortion. We are both very excited for this baby, because although it may not have been planned, it most certainly is not unwanted.

 

[jools21]

I'm in a similar situation... Unexpected and OH wasn't exactly delighted about the whole thing but I think it's more fear than anything. I'm pro choice but I don't buy into the "it's your body and it's your choice and it's your decision" thing... children deserve two parents who love them (if possible)... It's not a nice feeling to be unwanted and it's important to think about whether the child would want you and your partner as parents. These aren't pets that we can make our own decisions about, these are human beings who will need to grow into productive adults.

This is EXACTLY what I have been saying, OH has said its my body and my choice but that's not the point!

 

[Liesje]

I used the argument that we were both there, both equally responsible for this "surprise", however, per the human anatomy, the embryo can only end up in one of us... Forget for a moment where the embryo happens to be living right now and stop treating it like a body part because one day it comes out.

 

[Novbaby08]

Personally I find it completely disgusting for a man to ask a woman to give up their child. In the end the baby will always be with you. He might not be.
My ex asked me to have an abortion when I was pregnant with my DD and like you I have PCOS and was on the pill I had been told my odds of conceiving were slim. My ex was not happy at all. And ended up leaving me anyways I kept my baby and to this day I still feel it was the best decision I could have made and don't regret it a bit. Because I knew that my relationship might not last anyways but this baby was mine, and always would be, and to know that im capable of having one naturally and such there was no way I was giving her up. Shes made me far happier then i ever imagined and he is long gone and has nothing to do with either of us which is fine by me.
Don't ever let a man try to push such a decision on you! You have every right to be happy! You have every right to want your baby!
and if you ever need someone to talk to feel free to pm me!