Valentine's BfP ladies

[jbell157]

Aww sasha don't worry about our comments!

Let me be the first to say you are not a horrible mom! If you were then I would be too! I'm so sorry you had an awful dream but as hard as it may be try and realize it wasn't you. Idk if you remember a few months ago me and my dh got into it? Anyway for just a fleeting second I wished I wasn't pregnant so I could just leave him and never see him again. It was awful and I felt awful and he was so pissed I would think that. But again It was fleeting and It made me feel awful.

So because you feel so awful you KNOW you are going to be a great mom and that you already love this little girl tremendously! If you didn't care it never would have effected you so powerfully.

I know there isn't much I or anyone can say but we have about a gazillion hormones in our body that can make us feel like lunatics and not in control of ourselves. Just realize that you're ok and you didn't do anything wrong!

 

[makemeamammy]

You're not selfish!! Firstly Sasha STOP worrying about forum etiquette when you're so upset! We've all been talking for a loooooong time now, we know you and would never think of you as rude for something so silly as to not refer back to our posts when you've just gone through something so distressing!

Secondly, it is hormones and nothing else!! Have you ever dreamed about being with someone else? I have! Including my maths teacher from school who I can positively assure you I was or am in no way attracted to seeing as he's about 60 and his main hobby when I was in school was rearing sheep!! I definitely would not rather him to my husband, I would rather no man to my husband and having a dream such as that does NOT in anyway reflect your feelings!

It is anxiety, hormones, stress, worry, nerves etc etc plus the added upset of having just had a falling out! Perhaps things got a bit out of hand because your OH had a few drinks in him when you raised your concerns. I know I've learned with mine to always hold my tongue when drink has been involved and wait until the morning. Could you try talking to him again when you are both calm and his hangover has subsided a bit?

Big hugs, it's not what you need right now and I think a lot of it may be due to both of you being anxious about the impending arrival (as anyone would be!) Your OH was very insensitive to disappear and come home drunk without telling you so close to your due date but I suspect it is his way of coping with his anxieties too. It is inappropriate though and when you are both calm you need to explain to him why him doing that leaves you in such a state of panic when you need him close by (and sober!) now.

Hope you feel better soon honey xxx

 

[emmalg]

Sasha - don't worry, I do hope Mammy's dream made you laugh like it did me and cheered you up a little. It is perfectly normal to have absolutely crazy dreams when pregnant. I have had several, including ones about my ex who was absolute scum, one of the ones I remember best was before DD was born and she was a Border Collie not a baby!

I do think it was insensitive of your OH, but remembering mine last time they really do go a bit crazy with the pressure of becoming a father. Though we are pregnant for 9 months you'd think they'd adjust to it, but the reality doesn't hit home until the baby arrives. My DH really was a w4nker for at least the first half of my last PG - as I said before, I almost left him. I think they can't help it.

As for us, we become increasingly irrational. I have been neglecting DH's err... needs and the other day was putting the washing on and suddenly decided he was being unfaithful - WHEN? We have only even got one car at the mo, I drop him at work, I pick him up, etc, etc! I had to be a bit more rational to overcome my momentary insanity but it could have easily consumed me!

I think if you can let go of or put up with DH's behaviour for a few more weeks you'll see a huge change as soon as your daughter is born. You've got us to rant to in the meantime! Big hugs! xxx

 

[SashaJoy13]

Thank you so much ladies. I was up for hours over that dream and I am happy I'm not the only one that has had weird/unbelievable ones. And although words can only help so much all of yours really mean a lot to me! Especially the stories, i felt very alone in my thoughts but now see it isnt true. (Love that dream btw mammy) You ladies are completely wonderful, i would lose my mind without you all! I am going to let hubby sleep off his drink a little and give him motrin to start off his day... hopefully he will start talking to me on his own so I don't seem like I'm prying. I am going to ask that he not drink anymore as I need him to be 100% when labor does happen. He is normally much more reasonable so I want to give him the chance to explain himself.

As for etiquette... I told you I would respond to the posts!

Emma and jbell- BH all the time!!! Its exciting but can be painful... are you also feeling your pelvis seperate? My OB is convinced that this almost ripping pain I have been having is my hips widening. Ouch!

Bam- I think you are more likely to welcome your new bundle before I am!

Mammy- I am also just watching tv. I sometimes wish I could have company just so I have something to clean! Lol

Missus- so glad your off work and get to relax! that's great. I am a little jealous of your talk with your hubby and I hope I can follow your example and get mine to open up.

I am thinking I want to do a light epidural later in labor. I don't intend to walk but I want to sit up to give birth so gravity can help (another "full circle" moment as I had my feet up in the air after the dtd so gravity could help). I am also saying no way to an episiotomy... it seems like it connects two parts of my anatomy that I would rather not deal with together! Lol

 

[missusgee]

Sasha - I wouldn't be too jealous...after our talk he went and f****d up by telling some other girl I have always had issues with that he thought she was fit on Facebook and couldn't understand why it upset me. So now we're not talking and he has turned the tables to make me in the wrong. Wtf!?!?

 

[makemeamammy]

Missus men!!

Sasha, glad you're feeling a bit better now. Good luck with your talk! My DH hasn't been drinking since I was 30 weeks just in case. It was his suggestion and I told him it wasn't necessary but he said he felt better if he didn't. His mother did have a few choice comments about it and what a saint he was and how lucky I am (all of which I agree with but for some reason when she says it it feels like she's thinking I'm forcing him to do it and her poor baby boy is so whipped!)

This has come up a few times as she does EVERYTHING for her hubby and feels her precious boy should be treated in the same manner! DH's dad doesn't lift a finger in the house but he works and keeps her VERY comfortable! I DO work and I was not brought up like this - in my house my dad always did 50/50 with my mum as it was a partnership, my brother does the same in his household and so do we (hubby has NEVER complained about this arrangement) but MIL acts like he is some poor brow-beaten man just for knowing where the dishwasher is!

Families eh?! xx

 

[makemeamammy]

Awww ladies!!! Maybe it's hormones but I just went back to the start and read this...

https://babyandbump.momtastic.com/t...kend-february-14-ladies-6-bfps-2-days-23.html

We've all come through the whole thing together - from O to birth (nearly)

I am well and truly feeling the love after reading this

 

[jbell157]

Ahh miss men can be idiots! I hope everything gets better.

Mamms I know we have been through the whole journey together! It's pretty awesome. And as for your MIL she can shove it. Your DH sounds very sweet to give up drinking. She should be glad she raised such a great guy.

 

[emmalg]

Aww Missus! Hugs!

Mammy, what a good DH! Mine's been an angel around the house today - why? He's 2 weeks behind on an Open University module and is a world class procrastinator!

I need to go to IKEA more often, it gives me major BH!

 

[Bambola]

Sasha sorry about your horrid dream how terrible.. I know how traumatic bad dreams can be so I hope your ok now- don't think for a second that because you dreamed it that it reflects your true feelings! Dreams are completely irrational by their very nature!! during my second trimester I became the biggest skank in my dreams and I think I had sex with every man I know... Even my brother-in-law!!! Eeewwww what the!!!..???

Missus- men are s stupid sometimes.. They just don't get 'basic' things sometimes.. Hope you can make him 'come round and understand!'

Mammy - hehe that thread feels like a lifetime ago!! So precious!!

Emma- lol re Ikea! Maybe I should go too!!

 

[SashaJoy13]

Oh yeah! My sister gave me this tidbit... she and 2 of her friends have used this method and gone into labor withing 24 hours! Go bowling. She said to rent a lane for an hour or so and bowl to your hearts content. She went into labor less than 12 hours later, her friend was 16 hours and her other friend was 17 hours! All babies were born within 24 hours of going bowling. She said its best to wait until you have 2-3 contraction per day but it worked like a charm for them.

 

[jbell157]

Ohh interesting! How far along where they?

 

[SashaJoy13]

My sister was 39 weeks and her friends were 38! I told dh that if I haven't gone into labor by the afternoon if the 23rd we are going bowling that night I hope I go into labor sooner but I am also kind of excited to test her theory!

 

[makemeamammy]

Sasha, what happened at your appointment the other day? I thought there was talk of inducing you at 36+6?

Love the bowling and the ikea ideas lol. My bestie is coming up today to go to a wedding fayre with me (she's getting married next year and I'm her bridesmaid). We only organised it last night and she has a 4 hr drive to get here so I was thinking, now that she's coming all that way it would be so typical if I went into labour! Alas, reverse psychology doesn't seem to work on this child either! Lol! Looking forward to a day out with my bestie instead of sitting waiting for baby though xx

 

[emmalg]

Anything that makes a day go faster is a bonus! And wedding fayres are fun, have a lovely day! I only went to one when engaged to my ex. DH and I got married in Gibraltar when I was 8 months pg last time, barely have any nice photos and just had 3 guests! I missed out on all the prep!

I don't think I could go bowling, my hips kill, my back kills. I'm supposed to be going out with friends and family later as there's a festival on locally to celebrate Cervantes' baptism (he was born in my local town). It's great and you see characters from Don Quixote wandering about but I'm not in the mood!

Otherwise to pass the time I crazily enrolled on a course about Vikings which goes on until Dec!

 

[emmalg]

I remember what I'd been intending to say! Baby brain!

I went back and had to read 30-odd pages from JBell's before I got to my BFP! Sasha's roller coaster too! Wow! I remember how upset I felt, it was my 6th month of trying I think and it doesn't get easier trying for a second as you assume you'll get pregnant instantly.

I'm not going out now. Making the guests come over instead and cooking a curry! Having a bath first to try and relieve some pain but for the record and to make me feel better I just have to say... Oooooooooooouuuuuuuuuuuuch! I hurt worse than ever today, bloody Ikea!

 

[jbell157]

Mams have a fun day! Sounds so much better than staying at home.

Sasha I told DH about the bowling thing and he looked at me nervously and said we aren't going to do that right now are we? HA someone is scared I told him we'd wait until next weekend.

Emma I'm sorry you're hurting. Ikea is fun but its in Atlanta and that's 1 1/2 away from me and I can't stand riding in the car right now. When is your MIL getting here?

 

[emmalg]

She arrives on Sat 19th. It feels like a long wait! My pain today is all related to my pelvis but baby is allowed to make an appearance during dinner as the guests can look after DD! LOL! Is that unfair?!

 

[jbell157]

Haha no it's practical!

 

[makemeamammy]

Hey ladies, wedding fayre was fun and we went for lunch too. I'm getting lots of pains today and a kind of 'tugging sensation' in my belly too.

Emma, it was a very emotional journey for you and Sasha. I think myself and JBell had it most straightforward out of all of us but it's so lovely to see all our names together getting positives and still together about to go through birth. I think my hormones are making me all sentimental! Lol xx