vent thread: stupid s*** people say when they don't know you're TTC

[DobbyForever]

So my TTC journey has been on the super down low. My mom doesn't even know. I know they don't mean anything on it, but when you are hardcore in the middle of AF after your luteal phase was late two days... you're just not in the mood to hear this s***.

Mom: I really like that color on you with your hair (I recently highlighted my hair). It lightens your skin and gives you a glow. You know? Like a pregnant woman's glow.

After that, I went to Target to buy OPKs and some things for my house. I bought pre seed, Target and CB opks, and jumped the gun bought a pregnancy journal that I loved using with my last pregnancy. I also bought AF supplies since I was running low.

Target cashier: Oh, are you trying to find out if you're pregnant? Or are you buying these things for someone else?

I wanted to scream that obviously I'm not pregnant because I'm buying pads and a bottle of champagne to drown my sorrows, but I just politely and quickly explained that we have been trying for a long time and hope to get pregnant soon.

 

[Trying4first1]

Arghhhhhh!!! I know that u mean. People say the stupidest of things! They need to butt out!
I had my mum asking me stuff the other day and she told me how fab IVF is these days it's like I'm being written off already. Yes it's been 14 months and no grandchild and yes my body has miscarried twice, but please don't write me off as having fertility issues already! Rant over!
Sorry you have had to hear ridiculous comments too

 

[Kclayne]

I hate when others try to butt in and so sorry that happened to you.

I went to Wal-Mart last week and bought a baby gift for a friend's shower and pregnancy tests. The cashier told me congratulations. If only she knew my life...

 

[DobbyForever]

On the one hand, misery loves company so I'm glad this isn't just me. On the other, big

I cannot believe the IVF comment though. That's a bit far imho. I'm sure she meant well by it, but that's like shame on you mamaroo. My MIL did the bitchier version of that. She gave away all of SO's baby stuff since it looks like we won't be needing it. Like we had a loss but get off my case!

Are you ladies doing anything different this month? I'm swapping out our water based lube for pressed. We don't use it for DTD *cough* but um yeah. Figured cover all the bases just in case I can convince SO to try again

 

[DobbyForever]

My worst one was when I forgot to update my profile at my massage therapy place, so when I went in the receptionist said, "Wow! You look incredible for being four months pregnant! Are you here for a prenatal massage?" And I had to awkwardly explain that I lost my bean.

 

[Trying4first1]

I hate when others try to butt in and so sorry that happened to you.

I went to Wal-Mart last week and bought a baby gift for a friend's shower and pregnancy tests. The cashier told me congratulations. If only she knew my life...

Thank you. It happens to so many of us.
Oh my goodness poor you. It's like they rub salt into the wound. Are you long term ttc too? Sorry you are having to listen to comments too. It seems like it happens way to often.

 

[Trying4first1]

On the one hand, misery loves company so I'm glad this isn't just me. On the other, big

I cannot believe the IVF comment though. That's a bit far imho. I'm sure she meant well by it, but that's like shame on you mamaroo. My MIL did the bitchier version of that. She gave away all of SO's baby stuff since it looks like we won't be needing it. Like we had a loss but get off my case!

Are you ladies doing anything different this month? I'm swapping out our water based lube for pressed. We don't use it for DTD *cough* but um yeah. Figured cover all the bases just in case I can convince SO to try again

Thank you

Yeah I don't think she meant it to be bad but I already worry that we have issues without any of the above being said. Your MIL doesn't sound as if she has been very nice to you at all. Poor you for having to hear all that, especially after having a loss. People are so insensitive at times.

I am also starting pre seed this cycle I just ordered it this evening. On CD1 I always prepare for the month ahead! I just started Vit D3 last week and DH is also going to take conception vitamins this month
I will also be using opks and BBT charting as always

 

[DobbyForever]

She's not my favorite person, but she's not horrible either. I just thought that was a b move.

Yeah. I buy supplies when AF comes. I always say I'll order them online and save money, but I get lazy and just end up running to either Walmart or Target

 

[claireybell]

My best one was Riley having a complete meltdown in the supermarket & some lady said 'oh dear.. You should be glad you only have the one to tend to'.. Erm.. F off love grrr! Really pushed my buttons that day - pretty sure i hsd wine that night aswell ha ha

 

[Trying4first1]

Yeah def not a good move. Hopefully no more of those

I order online as its a bit cheaper. I feel so strange for buying all these lotions and potions but I feel that I need to now as its all taking so long. Mother Nature needs a helping hand

 

[DobbyForever]

My best one was Riley having a complete meltdown in the supermarket & some lady said 'oh dear.. You should be glad you only have the one to tend to'.. Erm.. F off love grrr! Really pushed my buttons that day - pretty sure i hsd wine that night aswell ha ha

WOW!!! The nerve. I would have wine after that as well.

 

[mssk]

I was at the playground the other day with my husband and our kids. I was chasing my DD around and this woman out of nowhere makes a comment to me that I should be glad we only have two to worry about as opposed to three like her, and we are so lucky. Not sure why she felt it was necessary to comment to me as we were having a blast before her rude comment. I just said I love chasing my LO's around. But, I really wanted to say lady why don't you appreciate what you have- Because I just lost 2 babies and when we are blessed with another one every time I get frustrated I will remind myself just how lucky we are instead of whining about my LO's to strangers because TTC is not easy!

 

[DobbyForever]

Yikes! That's scary. I get that as well. People are constantly saying how lucky I am to not have kids so I can do whatever I want and enjoy my life... I saw this great post about marriage, but the concept applies to kids as well. If you see marriage or kids as the end of your freedom, then you are definitely doing it wrong.

 

[Trying4first1]

Oh I get the whole you should enjoy yourself before you have kids. Ermmmm we have had 9 years doing that already! Worst comment ever

 

[DobbyForever]

I get it, but I guess I have been blessed with my parents spoiling me. Any future traveling and enjoying I do, I want to do it with my kids and SO. I really value building a sense of global community and tolerance, so when I picture my next travel destination I see myself taking a kid or two with us.

 

[1nceUponATime]

I get tired of people asking me when me and DH are having kids.....If looks could kill when people ask me that question! Maybe it is my fault because we are not extremely open about our so far 13 months and counting fertility struggle, and will be finding out our treatment plan very soon....but i just want to scream "WE ARE TRYING LEAVE ME ALONE!"

 

[DobbyForever]

I'm sorry that's a tough situation. It's so strange that people so openly comment about such a personal matter. I know friends and families tend to share a lot, but idk. Our social decorum is so bizarre.

 

[1nceUponATime]

I think it's like one of those things that people just say without thinking....most of our friends have kids and maybe that is why they ask. I try not to get too angry about it, but its upsetting....I think its something people ask ALOT like immediately after you get married, and it has died down a little bit because it's been over a year since we got married, but some people still ask.

Although, funny story....a co-worker of my DH asked him when we were having kids, and my DH responded something like "oh when it happens, it happens" kind of thing. and the co-worker joked "oh what are you shooting blanks?"....and my DH said "well actually we are going to the doctors to get pregnant" , DH isn't shooting blanks (the problem is with me), and he told me the co-worker was horrified. He apologized profusely, and kept texting him how sorry he was that he made that joke. I actually thought it was funny...like thats what you get for asking such a personal question, and he should be embarrassed!

 

[DobbyForever]

Oh man! I would hate to be that coworker. My mom did that to a coworker once. Instant foot in mouth. I'm glad you took it well. You are a much bigger person than I am. I'm so snippy with people hehe. You would think I would be more patient since SO has Aspergers and I am so patient with the diverse needs of my classroom... but nope!