waiting at 16

[maybebaby16]

hi i am 16. i really want a baby but i am stil at school so i am going to wait til i am older and have my own place. but until then i am preparing for if it happens in the future. so far i have wrote my birth plan. i have bought a few bits and peices but nothing to much. i know its so long away but i am so excited. i have names picked out for a boy and a girl. anyone else waiting to try done this too?

 

[Sarah&Erimas]

16 is wayy to young to have a baby i had my son at 16 and really wish i had waited years!

 

[FEDup1981]

Waiting til ur older and have ur own place and able to provide for ur baby is a very good and mature idea.
Enjoy ur freedom, and have all the fun u can now - ur dreams will still happen! xxx

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I was pregnant at 16. I thought at the time I was grown up enough but I wasnt. Sure I was a good mum as I could be but boy have I changed a hell of a lot over the years and now I hear of 16yr olds having babys, its so young x

 

[maybebaby16]

i know 16 is to young thats why i have decided to wait til i am older i am waiting to try i cant help being broody if i get stuff now i can be more prepared for th future.

 

[T'elle]

as others have said hun 16 is VERY young and although it has happened for some people who are brilliant mums im sure most would agree they could and should of waited a bit longer...enjoy yourself your only young and you only live once...why dont you do some babysitting for your family and friends x

 

[Pyrrhic]

You're 16 and sitting at home writing out a birth plan for the future?

Maybe you should enjoy the time you have now. You yourself say you're too young, so go out and have fun. Live your life so when you do have a baby you are a well rounded, mature, responsible adult.

Buying baby clothes and writing a birth plan is just....not right at your age. It's not about being prepared for the future, you seem to be living only for the future. Don't wish your time away.

When your older, fashions will change, health guidelines will change, and when you meet a man you want to have a child with, you will want to do all of these things together like shop for baby things.

Don't rush through your life. Babies are not just cute things that will love you unconditionally and give you attention. They are incredibly hard work, and being a mother is one of the hardest, time consuming and stressful things you can be in your life. Yes, it's rewarding but at 16 that's irrelevant.

 

[tonyamanda]

well hun.. I felt this way at 17... I met my hubby when i was 18 lucky enough hes alot older and already had his own house.. I would have never had become pregnant so young if i had of met someone that was as young as me... its ok to dream about having a baby some day but just make sure you feel ready because i see my sister struggle with finances everyday..

 

[goddess25]

I know you want a child but as much as you would be a great mum. Go to college, travel and experience the world. I am 35 and have just had my first child and its not easy, and you really have to make a lot of sacrifices. I have been to university, travelled the world, have my own home and a good job, because I have done all this I dont feel as if I have missed out on anything and am ready to devote all my life and time to my baby.

 

[shocker]

Hey, welcome to bnb! Just wanted to say how very admirable it is that you know you are not in the right position to have a child and you sound like a very mature girl.Im 18 and its crazy even thinking about myself two years ago as ive changed so much and experianced some amazing things.Im going to wait and i understand its very hard as ive never wanted a child so much in all my life.Im thinking of making a list of things i want to do before i have children you know things i want to experiance and have in place, so perhaps this would help you? I think it will help me feel like im working towards my goal and everytime i tick off something i'll be a little closer, good luck

 

[tonyamanda]

And remember hun you can still travel AFTER you have your child.. I have a few mums say that i should have waited and travelled before i had kids.. i don't understand why cause, ill still have plenty of time to do that..

 

[Mervs Mum]

I can only echo what the others have said. My daughter is 15 and if I thought she was thinking like you are in 12 months time my heart would truely break. Of course you can have dreams and one day I hope they come true but in the mean time enjoy your life. Be selfish, spend your money on yourself, go on girly holidays abroad, get your education, fall in love, have your heart broken, learn about life as an adult. All these things will help to make you an even better parent. I'm sure you have all the love in the world to give but life experience is important too. I was 19 when I got married and bought a house and 20 when I became a mum. It was too young. I missed out on so much. I was a good mum but I can honestly say I am a much better mum now at 35.

There's nothing wrong with dreaming hun but dont be sat dreaming in years to come about things you didnt do when you were young because you were a mum too soon.

 

[thompsonic]

If think some people are being a bit.. harsh towards her. Ok that isn't the right word but I'm tired and can't think of anything more appropriate. She posted in Teen Pregnancy about TTC and got her head bitten off, fair enough. But she has made the responsible choice of waiting till she is ready. It is easy to say 16 is too young to be thinking about babies, enjoy your childhood while you can, but sometimes it isn't that easy. If there is something you really want, then you can't just not think about it for a few years. I think she has made a good and responsible choice by waiting, and I always thought this forum was very welcoming of everyone, regardless of age, but apparently, if you're too young to have kids you're too young to be thinking about them...

Sorry for the rant but it really annoys me how people can just say 'you're too young to want kids, enjoy your youth' and expect us to say, ok, and switch off our feelings. None of us want to be broody this young. I wish I could go out with my friends, plan for the future, enjoy what I have, but I can't get babies off my mind and hate it. I think people should be supporting her for making the right choice instead of lecturing her about being too young to think about it...

Yeah, again, sorry for being a stressy bitch but I'm up early.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I dont think anyone has come across as harsh at all. People have shared their own experiences of being a young mum....surely that's central to a forum - understanding and sharing to help one another?

If someone had bitten her head off then fair enough but they havent from what I can see

 

[lozzy21]

There is nothing wrong with being broody at 16 but from her post she is living for the future and not enjoying the presant, God if i was 16 again i would do so much more.

Im going to echo what the others have said, try to stop obsesing about babys and spending your money on baby things. Go out have fun, save you money for a girly holiday, new clothes, go out with your friends.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Oh and just to add I was that broody at a young age. I know how that feels. It doesnt mean I cant try to help people understand that going with your feelings isnt always the best thing to do. I speak from experience and with great compassion and empathy for her.

 

[thompsonic]

Sorry, rereading my post I think I over-reacted a tad. I didn't mean to accuse anyone, I'd had a bad day yesterday with people (not on this forum) lecturing me about babies etc and I took out my frustration here. Shouldn't have done that. I appreciate all your advice and it helps me a lot, and certainly makes me realise the importance of waiting . Sorry for the rant.

 

[Mervs Mum]

It's OK - no one needs a lecture

 

[lozzy21]

Sorry, rereading my post I think I over-reacted a tad. I didn't mean to accuse anyone, I'd had a bad day yesterday with people (not on this forum) lecturing me about babies etc and I took out my frustration here. Shouldn't have done that. I appreciate all your advice and it helps me a lot, and certainly makes me realise the importance of waiting . Sorry for the rant.

Rant away, thats what were heer for. I get lectured at about babys and stuff, people saying in still to young, im 22. Diferent people have different ideas what "young" is

 

[babybaillie]

I was like u. Pregnant at 16, had him at 17. Dont do it. Have a life 1st. See the world, have girly holidays. Meet a nice guy, get married and do it the right way. I had my 2nd child at 29 and feel that was the right time. I had more money, patience, and because id had more experience with life i feel i was a better mum 2nd time around. No matter what anyone says u will regret having a baby so young.