waiting at 16

[thompsonic]

The most annoying part for me is when one of my friends decides to announce to everyone that 'Elly wants a baby' and people look at me like I'm mad, then say 'No you don't.' I'm like, excuse me? You're telling me what I do or do not want? Then they go on to tell me I'm too young, I'm wasting my life, babies ruin your life etc. It is just so frustrating how they treat me like I'm an idiot who just assumes that having a baby is like looking after a doll. Grrrr.

 

[bellamamma]

I just wanted to say that I think you've made a great decision in waiting until you're older! I remember at 16, it seemed ages until I'd be 20 but now that I'm 41, time flies by...You're being responsible for not only yourself but also future babies you may have, and you have all the time in the world to have them, so relax and go be 16! hugs

 

[xhollie92x]

I'm seventeen almost eighteen and I'm very broody too but like you, I know it's right to wait because the time is just not right

 

[xhollie92x]

The most annoying part for me is when one of my friends decides to announce to everyone that 'Elly wants a baby' and people look at me like I'm mad, then say 'No you don't.' I'm like, excuse me? You're telling me what I do or do not want? Then they go on to tell me I'm too young, I'm wasting my life, babies ruin your life etc. It is just so frustrating how they treat me like I'm an idiot who just assumes that having a baby is like looking after a doll. Grrrr.

I agree! I always get "your too young", "it's hard work", "it's not a doll", "you wont come first anymore", they think I don't already know that. I've choose to wait but I can't help wanting one! They think all you want is an accessory!

 

[Char&Bump-x]

Hi hun, i have a couple of things to say..

I KNOW what it is like to be 16 and desperatly wanting a baby, three years ago that was me. Its horrible, its hard and sometimes its depressing, but being a mum is 100000000% harder. I'm so glad you've decided to wait

I also think you shouldn't be buying baby things, that makes it worse seeing it all sat around with no baby to use it for. Maybe you could set up a bank account and save the money you're spending on baby stuff instead? Or..even better, spend it on YOU! Cos when you have a baby you don't get the chance to buy yourself that gorgeous new pair of jeans or those killer heels you just have to have.

Well done on waiting, but try and focus on other things like your friends, shopping etc and the time will fly by i promise. Like i said, i was in your position and i now have a two month old baby girl. It will happen soon enough x x

 

[maybebaby16]

im sorry for bein broody at 16 :/ it isnt like i can help it. i dnt see anything wrong with writin a birth plan. i enjoyed it im glad i am looking into everything so i know what to expect when this does happen in the future. how is this diferent to thinking about your dream job. i do want to go on holidays. i want to go with my children and show them the world. maybe i wanna live my liife after my kids have left home. sum ppl dont wanna be stuck with ther children still livin at home in ther 40 or 50 plus. thanku thompsonic i am glad u identify with me

 

[Mervs Mum]

Now your response to me unfortunately does show your age and lack of maturity. All the posts were constructive and posted by people wanting to share their experiences. Having a child when you are very young doesnt guarantee them leaving home and you not 'being stuck with them' when you are 40/50. I have had a child when I was young as I mentioned before and I anticipate her still being here when I turn 40. I also will have younger children still at home when I'm 40/50.....to use your words 'sorry for being broody at 35 :/ is isnt like I can help it'......do you see what I'm saying......you need to try to take this as constructive and caring advice and not as an attack hun because it's not.

 

[dali]

You're 16 and sitting at home writing out a birth plan for the future?

Maybe you should enjoy the time you have now. You yourself say you're too young, so go out and have fun. Live your life so when you do have a baby you are a well rounded, mature, responsible adult.

Buying baby clothes and writing a birth plan is just....not right at your age. It's not about being prepared for the future, you seem to be living only for the future. Don't wish your time away.

When your older, fashions will change, health guidelines will change, and when you meet a man you want to have a child with, you will want to do all of these things together like shop for baby things.

Don't rush through your life. Babies are not just cute things that will love you unconditionally and give you attention. They are incredibly hard work, and being a mother is one of the hardest, time consuming and stressful things you can be in your life. Yes, it's rewarding but at 16 that's irrelevant.

i second this entirely. you are being sensible by waiting and i know you cant help being broody but i think writing a birth plan is a little ott. who knows what you will want in the future and i remember being 16 and feelinghonestly like i knew everything about myself but sooo much changes as you grow up.
like the others have said do stick to waiting for all the reasons you mentioned yourself. when the time is right you'll be glad you can prepare during your pregnancy and can include your partner

 

[Mervs Mum]

BTW what does your boyfriend think to you buying baby things and having a birth plan?

 

[maybebaby16]

why is me writin out a birth plan wrong and ott? whats wrong with havin a dream
why shouldnt anyone wtt be able to plan ahed no matterwhat the age is. its not like this forum is called wtt but only for a maximum of a year or summit :/

 

[Mervs Mum]

Of course you can have dreams! That's what being 16 is all about....the endless possibilities for the future and wanting a family is part of your dreams. I just hope that's not your only dream What does your boyfriend dream of and is he the same age as you?

 

[asacia]

I know you are broody, and I felt the same at your age. Personally though, I found it easier to deal with waiting by going out and doing things, instead of thinking about waiting, if that makes sense? It is always a good idea to focus on contrastive things to help you reach your goal. Can you do some volunteer work? Make sure you get good grades, learn to drive when you are 17, get a Saturday job and start saving. You should focus on doing the things that will make you a good Mum when the time comes, and it'll help take your mind of waiting. I know I nearly drove myself mad with broodiness when I was your age!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Great advice from Asacia

 

[helen1234]

i had my daughter at 17 its very hard, its fine to have dreams about being a mum one day, but try not to dwell on it too much, go discover the world get a nice job and a house. by the time your really ready for a baby and pregnant then think about birth plans and what not.
my daughter is a year older than you, i've told her to wait till she's late 20's at least before thinking about bringing up a child. its not your dreams you need to think of it your babies dreams too

 

[Kara1989]

I don't know if this is helpful but I also had a child very young. It was a different scenerio in that I didn't want a child (I didn't not want one either though!!!) and my first was an accident (not a mistake though). I think it's very mature that you are thinking about it because I wish I'd put more thought into the decision, and been more careful until I was older but like a few people are saying live while your young. It's great to be prepared, I enjoyed my pregnancy second time round so much more because I wasn't so clueless and scared as the first time at 15 but save somethings for the actual pregnancy. It can be a right pain (feeling sore, tired, morning sickness etc) to be pregnant and preparing for the birth is what keeps you going then. Enjoy being 16 and make yourself someone that your child will be proud of. There are stupid things I wish I would have done first, like go on holiday on my own so that when I take my two LOs I know what to expect and can plan properly or learnt to cook christmas dinner so I can make Christmas really special on my own without relying on someone else. I can imagine it must be hard but imagine how great having a LO turn round and ask you what it's like in another country and you can sit down and show them photos of you when your young. I hope I haven't rambled or ranted, at the end of the day only of you know how you feel but I do think trying to live now will be best in the long run.

 

[Strawberries]

Hey, welcome to BnB =) I totally understand where you are coming from, I'm 17 and madly broody I think you're very mature for deciding to wait, and you'll be so much more prepared if you wait a few years and I think you'll be glad that you did

As for writing the birth plan- I don't understand why everyone is getting on at you for it I know you're probably not taking it too seriously, it's just to pass the time or something and when you are pregnant it will probably turn out to be something very very different. Sometimes when I'm really bored I pull out the argos mag and have a wee look at all the stuff it's not like I'm really deciding what pram to buy. But stop wasting your money on clothes honey, treat yourself instead

Good luck, and if you want a chat I'm on here practically all the time so just pm or whatever.

 

[maybebaby16]

thanks everyone. yes i do have dreams i am going to college next yr to do childcare as i would like a job with children around. my bf is 18 and he works he has a car. im young and im broody and im waiting its hard when ppl are saying to me that its over the top and wrong. it isnt the only thought on my mind but its there.

 

[Strawberries]

It's not OTT or wrong at all.. it's natural to feel this way! I'm glad I found this place, as I didn't think there were so many girls my age feeling the same way. You'll like it here, everyone's really nice!

 

[maybebaby16]

thanks strawberries. its really nice to have positive replies. i had fun writin up a birth plan. it was just a bit of fun its what i enjoye. some people my age smoke drugs for fun. that is wrong because it is illegal and damagin for ther health. i am havin fun in my own way as i am young. yes too young to be getting pregnant. i am very happy to be waiting i bought a few things before yeh. i actually wish i hadnt sai that now lol but never mind i am so glad i have decided to wait. at the end of the day i want babies whether its in my late teens or late 30s so i am offically a waiter!

 

[Mervs Mum]

That's great that you have plans to go to college and working with children can only help your broodiness. Your BF is very young too. Does he know how you feel? Like Strawberries said it's good that you have recognised you should wait and in the mean time I hope you can find some friends on here who understand how you feel