waiting at 16

[mandaa1220]

I don't think it matters much what she did 3 days ago. She's here now, if she goes back to TTC in the next couple days then maybe there could be some questions. You should look where they are, not where they've been.

If you don't look to the future how do you know where you are going? You have to have some plan, there isn't anyone here who doesn't have some plan for the future, whether it be babies, or waiting, or getting up in the morning and taking care of there own kids. It's a plan, there's nothing wrong with it.

I am a strange man (just ask my wife). I have wanted a family of my own since I was about 13, I am now 22. Just because I wanted something doesn't mean I didn't have self control enough to not screw everything that moves. I was a virgin before I met my wife. To me there was no point in going out and getting drunk and screwing off, it didn't and doesn't appeal to me...my parents probably thought I was a god send. I made a choice, I'm absolutely fine with my choice, but it was MY CHOICE, no one made my choice for me, just as no one has made this choice for her. If she's smart she won't give a flying fart in space what we think, she will run her life in the best way she knows how and with all the talents and know how she posses.

However she should NOT BE ASKED IF SHE HAD A CRAPPY HOME LIFE, I had a wonderful home life and still wanted a wife and kids!

good response... don't know what else to say!

 

[tonyamanda]

I don't think it matters much what she did 3 days ago. She's here now, if she goes back to TTC in the next couple days then maybe there could be some questions. You should look where they are, not where they've been.

If you don't look to the future how do you know where you are going? You have to have some plan, there isn't anyone here who doesn't have some plan for the future, whether it be babies, or waiting, or getting up in the morning and taking care of there own kids. It's a plan, there's nothing wrong with it.

I am a strange man (just ask my wife). I have wanted a family of my own since I was about 13, I am now 22. Just because I wanted something doesn't mean I didn't have self control enough to not screw everything that moves. I was a virgin before I met my wife. To me there was no point in going out and getting drunk and screwing off, it didn't and doesn't appeal to me...my parents probably thought I was a god send. I made a choice, I'm absolutely fine with my choice, but it was MY CHOICE, no one made my choice for me, just as no one has made this choice for her. If she's smart she won't give a flying fart in space what we think, she will run her life in the best way she knows how and with all the talents and know how she posses.

However she should NOT BE ASKED IF SHE HAD A CRAPPY HOME LIFE, I had a wonderful home life and still wanted a wife and kids!

so true mate.. I wanted my kids very early and i had heaps of love from home..

i was 18 when i first became pregnant but i wanted then before i was even 16.. i have not regret anything i have done.. some here say she should wait till later and go around the world before she has kids.. To be honest she'll still have plenty of time to go "travel" after she has children.. I decided to have mine young cause i didn't want to wait till i was 35 and spin out that my "clock is ticking"

 

[asacia]

However she should NOT BE ASKED IF SHE HAD A CRAPPY HOME LIFE, I had a wonderful home life and still wanted a wife and kids!

While it is a very delicate question, I think it is one that should be asked. I mentioned on another thread that I was a very broody teenager, but my desire for a baby came from a very unhealthy place, and I know I'm not alone. When I was the OPs age, I was in a dark place, and felt like having something to love me, accept me and depend on me would make things better. I'm not saying the OP is in a similar situation, but I think it is a question that should be asked. It isn't a criticism or an accusation, just a well-meaning question that could help. I wish someone had asked me questions like that when I was struggling - it is really hard to ask for help.

 

[maybebaby16]

i have to look to the past i shouldnt be looking forward to the future?
ok well i havent been scared off.my dream is to have a family. obviousy babies arnt just going to be all cute and smiles i dont know why people would asume i would just think that because i am yhoung. i am really thankful for the ppl who have stuck up for me if thats what u wanna call it. i know ppl can have ther own opinions so all im goin to say to that is wanting a baby aint ruinin my youth i am not wasting my time on it.
i dont have a bad home life at all? my bringing up has been good. would u think that the only young ppl who are broody are ones that have not had enough attention from ther parents? and as for being ashamed to tell ppl your age when u will be 24? i find that shocking more shockin than this thread. jst my opinion. the two times i did have sex are the only times i have done it as i lost virginity with my bf this month . it was silly but its been done and its not summit i can change. i never thought of goin on the pill before as we wernt having sex. i aint havin sex again til my contraception is sorted. i cant justify bein broody. thanks ppl

 

[FemmeEnceinte]

But, whose place is it to ask a question like that? And, off the back of "This thread has shocked me" it doesn't exactly sound well meaning. The OP is simply feeling what we all feel at one point or another, we're all genetically hardwired to want babies... otherwise we'd have died out as a species long ago. There was a time when 16 would have been a perfectly normal age for breeding, but the way in which society works now makes it so that they're still treated like children until that age. Some people are much more sexually mature at a younger age than we'd like to think, the fact that they lack emotional maturity, life experience and financial independance are simply social constraints that WE have imposed.

So no, I don't think it's abnormal and I certainly don't think that anyone here is entitled to pass any form of judgement since we are all here for the exact same reasons. Yes, she was in ttc a few days ago saying she was finding it hard, not "To hell with it, I'm doing it anyway". The site doesn't support under 18's ttc anyway so moderation would see to it that she can't discuss it, all we can do is offer advice which a lot of people in this thread have come to do but there are just a few who seem to have bypassed the fact that it's normal, completely.

To be honest, I understand people more who respond to their biological urges than those who deny them.

 

[Mervs Mum]

I totally understand what you are saying FE but just because it's 'normal' to feel this way does that mean no one should offer friendly advice or share their own experiences when they have been in the same or similar situation?

 

[lesleyann]

ok 16 is young, i fell pregnant at 16 had my son once i was 17 and i turn 18 next month... Thing is every goes on and on about being to young and underage pregnancy but in fact the law states you can have sex at 16 which means by the same law you are not doing anything wrong by wanting a baby or even having a baby, if you body was not ready for a baby at certain ages you would not be able to have one simple.


Now im not here to argue i dont think all 16 year olds should be out there TTC but if they are mature and stable in what they are doing i mean some 16/17/18 year old are more mature and stable then some 40/50 year olds. Atlest she has been mature enough to think about all of this and then say well i think ill WTT. One day a thread on this forum will be saying age is just a number its abotu how mature you are the next day you get a thread like this



Not trying to fight or anything here proberly wont even post in this thread again

p.s ill be trying for my 2nd next year but ill be 18 but nothing else in my life will have changed but my age?? will have the same income, oh will have the same job and we will be in the same house but yet if i was under 18 i would be told NO!!!

 

[MrsRoughton]

my little sister had her 1st at 16/17 and she is the best mum ever she lives for her children and i be. believe its the indvidual not the age that make you the mum you are i was 28 1st time round she was planned but still a shock and i struggled trying to be the perfect mum and housewife and in the end i had to look at what was important

 

[FemmeEnceinte]

I totally understand what you are saying FE but just because it's 'normal' to feel this way does that mean no one should offer friendly advice or share their own experiences when they have been in the same or similar situation?

Of course they should, I said in my post that some people have given good advice. But there are others who have not been so constructive and have been quite patronising, which I just find odd as it's not like we can't all relate here... on a pregnancy and parenting forum.

 

[amylk87]

I think that people feeling broody is natural, but i really find it hard to believe that at 15-16 you truly know what you want in life. This may upset some people but thats just my opinion. I know what i wanted at that age has changed alot since then.

I'm glad you're in WTT and it is hard being here for alot of people because we all want children, and we're all waiting for different reasons whether it be age, education etc.

 

[tinytoes1904]

I know EternalRose personally, and I know she definately would not have intended her post to offend or be patronising (as do some other people responding here also know ER is not offensive which is why I am surprised at their post )

I think she is simply sayin what we are all thinking, but at 2am with severe nausea and vomiting it hasnt come out just right.

Some teenagers dont get enough time spent with them at home, and although it is a delicate question, one that sometimes needs to be asked, as this is what sometimes leads young girls to crave something to love. If a counsellor where to ask that question, it wouldnt be a problem!

Quote:
And to all the teenagers on this thread, and I really hope this doesnt offend but planning for a child may not always go to plan. Sometimes other things can get in the way or things dont happen they you thought they would. Thats, why getting an education, saving, developing passions and hobbies are important.

 

[FemmeEnceinte]

I can assure you, we are NOT all thinking that. Whether or not a person actively intends to be patronising doesn't mean they aren't unintentionally so.

Either way, a point was made and disagreed with. Nothing heavier than that.

 

[Mervs Mum]

another can't let it go thread.....

I think the OP now knows there are mixed feelings about her situation. Maybe its time to move on and let her start her journey what ever road that may take her down.

Good luck maybebaby16

 

[FemmeEnceinte]

another can't let it go thread.....

I think the OP now knows there are mixed feelings about her situation. Maybe its time to move on and let her start her journey what ever road that may take her down.

Good luck maybebaby16

But that doesn't mean a perfectly decent debate isn't going on. It's just expected to get heated.

 

[Mervs Mum]

Ditto

 

[FemmeEnceinte]

You're too quick!

 

[Mervs Mum]

Cheeky little edit there FE???????

 

[x_Rainbow_x]

Ok i no im seriously late here but better late than never.

The fact your waiting is a good thing... BUT buying things isnt. thats just adding fuel to a fire because before long you look at it and think wow i want a baby to put in all this stuff now.
I dont agree with buying stuff before your pregnant.. i have my own reasons for that so nobody say anything different to me lol
Youv written a birth plan! iv been TTC 3 years and i still dont even no what i want during birth.

I think you need to enjoy being 16 and young, if i could go back and change the way i thought at your age i would. Dont rush being a teen... youl never get it back.

 

[EternalRose]

Cheeky little edit there FE???????

Well spotted

 

[Mervs Mum]

You need to be a lot quicker than that