Waiting for AF after M/C, anyone else? OCBM

[bluestars]

Linny - what a rough time you have had !!! But what a beautiful baby you have now! Shes stunning. I love her name its so different. I love love love the photos ! Shes adorable. Hopefully your recovery ill go smoothly and the breastfeeding gets a little easier.

Hey to all the new ladies that have joined us. Im sorry we meet under these circumstances. These are great ladies that will help as much as they can! Hope your rainbows come to you soon.

Teacup-how are you honey! Whar have you been doing with yourself ?

Lit-howar you doing now ?

Crys - any more news at your end ?

How are all you other ladies ?


Afm- nothing new on my end really. Been pretty busy summer time is always busy with family coming over to visit so that started this week. Baby is moving loads and I just fall in love with her a little bit more each time she kicks.

Sorry if ive missed anyone and not had a proper post but im in my phone and i keep loosing where I am and what im saying. My memory is terrible!!!

Xxxx

 

[KatieSweet]

Katie S - So sorry to meet you under these circumstances ....It is not easy at all. Tbh I didn't find midwives terribly helpful in early pregnancy or for 1st tri loss. In any case, there's a ton of well informed women on this thread - you won't find a better support group. X

Hi Linny! Your baby is beautiful! Congrats again
Joining this group was a bit double for me, as I wish I didn't have to be here, but at the same time I'm very happy to be here and that I've found a place where I feel understood. It really does help
I hope to be able to give back and use what I've learned or am still learning to help other women, too.

Well ladies, I did a HPT this morning and it came out entirely negative. Not even a squinter. This means everything went "well", I think! It felt weird to feel happy about a negative, but it's closure for me and DH.
On to getting myself a bit more healthy! x

 

[bluestars]

24 week bump.

 

[crysshae]

She's beautiful Linny! I have back labor, but what you describe seems to have something to do with her not being in the right position. I'm glad the CS was offered after no dilation for that long. The epidural worked for the C-section; right?

Emma - Lovely bump. I'm glad to hear you're doing well.

Alt - A month does seem long. Glad to hear the therapist is helping.

Katie - It is strange to be happy about a BFN or even AF. We've all been there. It just helps you move on.

I'm doing well. Had a busy day for the 4th of July yesterday. Even got a slight sunburn. My scan is Thursday morning.

Hope you all have a great weekend!

 

[crysshae]

Apple - I think your post got lost at the bottom of that page and we didn't see it because others had written on the next page. Sorry about that.

35 is not too old. I had my youngest at 35 with no issues. I have had MCs since deciding to try again but have made it to nearly 7 weeks with this one now and praying everything is perfect. You'll have your rainbow soon.

 

[slg76]

Hi apple. I'm in a similar situation. Took 1.5 years to get a bfp with #2 and then I lost it. Now another year gone and nothing. I'm almost 38. And dd is almost 4 and I'm starting to worry about age gap and loosing all the freedom I've gained since dd is getting more independent. I can shower alone and make phone calls and sometimes even sleep through the night now! I also worry about stress on hubby and marriage. Ugh! Maybe it's all just trying to convince myself that one child is enough

How old are your kids?

 

[Literati_Love]

Blue - beautiful bump! You look great. Thanks for posting

Linny - thank you for regaling the whole birth story for us! It sounds like a very frustrating and also horribly painful labour! sorry the epidural didn't work for you. I am so glad Elka came safe and sound in the end! She is such a cutie and has lots f hair! I'm glad she let you sleep the first night. I hope breastfeeding improves soon.

Sorry about my terminology confusing you - I meant 'Reno' as in short for renovation zone!


I will explain more later but I'm on my phone as I've been staying at my parents' house and I find it way too frustrating to type much here! So sorry to the others I didn't reply to. I'll try to catch up soon.

 

[Cameliaa]

Hi ladies! Such an encouragement to see healthy babies born! Very happy for you.

I lost my 3rd baby nearly 3 weeks ago. This was my first mc. I have two elder boys - perfectly healthy pregnancies.

First I couldn't even grasp the thought of TTC again, but I think I will get to it in a few months. Right now I just want to grieve whenever I feel like it, relax, take some ayurveda medicine and enjoy the summer with cycling and bathing in the sea. But I wonder how long did it take for you to be ready to get pregnant again? As I have never experienced fear before this preganancy, I am really concerned about being too frightened next time. I don't want to be, but the reality is that I now know what can happen. How to get over it?

Also, I don't want to have protected sex. It just doesn't feel right. On the other hand, I know that I should wait at least for a couple of cycles before trying again.

 

[Sabster]

Congrats Aleeah and Linny! beautiful babies!!!!!

Sorry I haven't been updating, i was on vacation and just dealing with the heat and my bad mood. No news on my side, i am feeling breezy, the baby seems to be doing well and I think I am finally showing, although for someonethat is 18 weeks I just look a bit chunky LOL

I got a body pillow and i am in HEAVEN!!!! also had a huge fight with DH and we have to talk and work things out. I think I am more stressed out that i would like to admit and will work towards a peaceful next 5 months!!

Welcome to all the new ladies, sorry its under such crappy circumstances, but honestly it helped me alot to come and vent here because no one in my immediate circle of friends really understands what its like to have an MC or multiple ones.

There is hope and your body is going to be nuts for a little while, but things will settle and you will get pregnant and you will have your baby! Do not doubt!

Hugz to all

 

[slg76]

Welcome Cameilaa
I'm so sorry about your loss. I had a mc almost a year ago now. I tried the very next cycle to get pregnant again, but I have fertility issues and have no time to waste. I'm still not pregnant Many people seem to be ready right away but plenty of people take a few month off before they feel ready. I think you just need to do what feels right for you and I think you will know when you are ready again.

Maybe the ladies who have been pregnant again are best to ask about the fear of being pregnant again. From what I hear (and how I suspect I will feel) there is no getting around the fear after a mc. I think having a mc steals the innocence that we have about being pregnant with only healthy babies. I think the best we can do is try to not let the fear steal all the joy from the next pregnancy. It sounds to me like you don't have a health problem that is causing the mc and this one was probably just an unlucky cell division that went wrong. If that's true, you are unlikely to have another mc. If you really struggle with this issue than maybe you could talk to a counselor? I'm actually setting up my first appointment with a counselor that specializes in fertility/family planning issues.

Maybe for now you could use cycle timing as birth control? So just don't have sex when you are ovulating. Or the pull out method. This way you don't have to hassle with birth control per say and you are much less likely to get pregnant. If by some chance you still end up pregnant it probably wouldn't be the end of the world since you are wanting a baby now anyway. It does feel strange to think about birth control doesn't it?

I'm sorry again about your loss. This thread is full of wonderful women who have a lot of support and helpful advise to offer.

Emma, thanks for sharing your bump photo. You look beautiful. I loved having a bump...well about 90% of the time anyway

 

[Sabster]

Hi ladies! Such an encouragement to see healthy babies born! Very happy for you.

I lost my 3rd baby nearly 3 weeks ago. This was my first mc. I have two elder boys - perfectly healthy pregnancies.

First I couldn't even grasp the thought of TTC again, but I think I will get to it in a few months. Right now I just want to grieve whenever I feel like it, relax, take some ayurveda medicine and enjoy the summer with cycling and bathing in the sea. But I wonder how long did it take for you to be ready to get pregnant again? As I have never experienced fear before this preganancy, I am really concerned about being too frightened next time. I don't want to be, but the reality is that I now know what can happen. How to get over it?

Also, I don't want to have protected sex. It just doesn't feel right. On the other hand, I know that I should wait at least for a couple of cycles before trying again.

Hi Camelia,

im really sorry to hear about your loss, its not an easy thing to overcome but with a good support system and lots of love, patience and HOPE things get better.
We were TTC from May 2012. I became pregnant in May 2013 ( fist time ever) had an MC at 7W. Then I became pregnant again after 6 months.. so December 2013 and I MC'd un January 2014.
I wont lie, it has been a grueling experience on my moral and on my self esteem. I was very hopeless for a while and I became extremely bitter about the whole thing. Like Sara said, you feel robbed, and having it happen twice in a row is pretty traumatic because you are just paralysed with fear. it also catches you completely unprepared and leaves you mourning for something that could have been... its a weird place to be and women dont talk alot about miscarriages and loss... and no one knows what to say to make you feel better.

SO, After my MC in January this year, my Af came back after 40 days and then i became pregnant again the next cycle after ( so end of feb... march ?) I am now 18 weeks pregnant and it looks like everything will be ok.

After the second MC I decided to blast my body with vitex, to get my hormones back to normal as fast as possible, because I find that feeling normal is essential to a recovery from an MC. We didnt discuss TTC with my DH, but we continued to have unprotected sex. I looked at my CM and just took a backseat to the whole TTC thing and I was starting to consider a childless life since my DH and I do not believe in assisted reproduction. The next step for us would have been adoption, which is a B*** to get done in my neck of the woods...

luckily things look good, but we have been super cautious and some people dont know that we are expecting. we JUST told our extended family and I am almost 5 months pregnant....

I would say the most important thing is to keep a positive attitude, feel all the feelings you need go through and trust life/ the universe/yourself to turn the situation around.

 

[KatieSweet]

Well, DH and I took the plunge yesterday! LOL pun not intended. We DTD (12 days after MC) and I'm relieved to say that it didn't hurt.
We also decided to stick with our gut feeling to NTNP (after starting with protection) solely based on the fact that I had no pain or discomfort or any bleeding (not during, not after) and that I enjoyed being intimate with DH again after the past few weeks.
I hear what midwives and doctors are saying, but it's my body I'm listening to. And my body's giving us the go ahead. Whatever happens, happens.

 

[Cameliaa]

Thank you, slg76.

I really do appreciate your support. Over the past few weeks I have come to realize that I am truly understood only by women who have experienced the loss like I did. And it is truly helpful.

I am sorry about you not being able to get preganant yet. I am sure you can overcome whatever health issues you have to have a healthy pregancy and a beautiful baby. Hope you do soon.

I don't have any health issues except that I am 37 and may be just getting too old. I know this is not yet an age when I cannot have children, but I had my first two at 24 and 28 without any problem. My doctor indicated that age may be a factor for us (my husband is 43), but she generally she thinks we don't have any issues to have a healthy pregancy. She will have me tested after my first cycle just to be on the safe side. She said that I should get a test for antiphospholipid syndrome which is a major cause for mc, but it is highly unlikely for me to have it. So let's see.

Thanks also for some tips re. birth control. I think we will stick to natural ways of not actively trying.

 

[Cameliaa]

Sabster, thanks for this. I am very happy for you.

You know, when I read some of your stories I think that I shouldn't really complain since I already have children. But somehow it hurts nevertheless and I know that my little angel will always remain part of our family and memories.

It's true that no one really talks about this experience. I was surprised to find out that both my mom and my mother-in-law have had mc. I didn't know it before.

 

[Mrs W 11]

Sabster I loved my body pillow when pregnant too!! Can't wait to use it again! They are so comfy. By the end I felt like a whale, even turning over in bed was like a work out but the pillow helped.

Slg I too enjoyed having a bump. I found the early 'is it a bump or is she fat' stage a bit awkward and I was uncomfortable at the end but I miss my bump and can't wait for another one. It was lovely and watching it move and seeing a foot or limb poke out was incredible!!

Cameliaa I'm sure you will be fine and hope it won't take long to get your bfp. I'm 33, nearly 34 and dh is 40 so I worry about age too. Some ladies are very fertile after a mc, I wasn't one of them but I hope you will be. X

Katie, glad you enjoyed taking the plunge ;-) carrying on being close, intimate and talking to your oh is important after a loss, tackle grief as a team and you'll be stronger.

Lit, sorry about your unexpected Reno situation. Try to go with the flow if you can and not be stressed, baby just wants love and food, they won't notice if the house isn't perfect although I know you will want it all ready.

Alt, how are you doing Hun? Thinking of you xx

Afm I'm cd12 now. No pos opk yet, probably ov next week. I'm so hoping my bfp comes soon. It's been 6 months since my mmc now and because I got preg first try the last two times I never dreamt it would take this long. Fed up now, keep your fingers crossed ladies xx

 

[bluestars]

Hey ladies

Do any of you know if I'm showers to take piriton while pregnant? Been eaten alive by cleggs and I'm so swollen and itchy where they have bitten me xxx

 

[rosemint]

Hi ladies,

First post here~ Just want to join in the wait with people who understands.

I lost my first pregnancy at 7 weeks on June 3rd. It's been 5 weeks and I'm still waiting for AF. Like Cameliaa said, I finally came on these boards that I've been following because I realized many people just don't understand. I don't blame them but it's hard to talk to anyone else about it.

I really want to ask friends if they've ever had a miscarriage before, so I can come out and tell them my experience. Which is obviously impossible.

Yesterday, my twin sister who had been my closest friend suggested me to watch the movie "What to Expect When You're Expecting". She proceeded to get very offended when I politely and tactfully told her it's not a movie I wish to watch right now. She said a lot of hurtful things that she probably didn't mean to in the past but this was the last straw. I was incredulous. She honestly think the movie will help me "because one of the character also had a miscarriage". She's has a healthy baby boy and never had an mc.

That was when I finally broke down. I feel sad that I cannot talk to those closest to me, but it strengthen my resolve to recover from this. Waiting for this first AF is agonizing. Some days it gives me hope that I might be pregnant again. Others I feel stupid for hoping.

 

[crysshae]

Emma - I don't know what that is. Ask your doc to be sure.

Rose - I'm sorry for your loss. We all do understand what you're going through. This group is full of wonderful ladies and great support. I hope you are able to speak with your sister about your feelings.

 

[slg76]

:wave: hi rosemint
I'm glad you found us. People really do mean well but just don't know how to help. I'm sorry about your loss. This group is my very favorite and is full of wonderful women

 

[KatieSweet]

Welcome Rosemint!
I'm so sorry for your loss and I'm sorry you're having to deal with people who mean well generally, but can't really grasp what you're going through. (Totally would not want to watch What To Expect now, either.)
This truly is a wonderful group of ladies, and I hope you'll find it as supportive and informative as I have the past few weeks.