waiting for ivf and struggling!

[cc117]

Hey ladies, its been 2 weeks since we met our re. Only option is ivf +Icsi. Will go back once do more bloodwork. My question is, my hubby isn't taking news well and blaming himself. I keep telling him both of us and were in this together. He has low count, morph, motility. I have cycles ranging 33-50 days.

Any tips/advice .... Thanks

 

[Ducktales]

Hi, I have the same issue with DH blaming himself for our infertility
The way I deal with it is by talking with him about other people's issues on Bnb and trying to make him feel as "manly" and competent as possible
It has affected him badly- he at one low point struggled with finishing sex during TTC as he felt so mentally affected but I just cuddle him, remind him no one is to blame and it is just part of our story and also promise him I won't tell anyone about why we can't conceive as often it is their fear that friends and family will find out
I tell him we are fortunate that we get icsi with our ivf on the NHS as it gives us better chance of success
My DH improved his motility from 20% to 56% by taking wellmans, omega oils, Brazil nuts and cutting right back on alcohol
Unfortunately his upswim sperm are still 30% motility with only 0.5 million sperm which is likely why we can't conceive but every little helps
I wish you all the luck in the world
It has brought us closer together as it is such a private struggle you go through as a couple
Xxxxx

 

[mummy.wannabe]

My hubby has low count also. It was 1 million and then went up to 5 million.
He took it very hard as we always assumed it was just me.
I have pcos and endo too.
He would not talk to me about it and I would try and try, and say we can not get through this if we don't talk.
After a long time he eventually came around and would talk.
We both cried and cried and said we are in this together and always will be, doesn't matter who's fault it is, you have to do it to get what you want.
Just give him time and he will slowly come round, it's s tough 1 coz it depends what your hubby is like x
Good luck x

 

[cc117]

Thanks ladies, best of luck to both of you as well

 

[mummy.wannabe]

I agree it has made hubby and I even stronger.
Do not let it break you, coz you hear stories where people can't hack it and spilt up x

 

[Melbram]

Pinkie: I know how you feel - so frustrating and nobody really gets and just make comments like "dont over think it and are you sure you want a baby" a friend of mine has just found out she is pregnant - however she split up with her hubby and they were still have sex and hey presto she is pregnants and they are getting divorced so she doesnt really want it

Mummy : So you will starting stimmulating when AF arrives? I do a different protocol

cc117: welcome and good luck with your journey. We are having ICSI too due to OHs issues - he too blames himself and took it very badly and still has really down days but I try and explain we are in this together if I was super fertile we may have got pregnant by now but Im not so we both contribute to the problem

afm: AF arrived and I start down regging on the 11th March...back on the rollercoaster - so hope it works this time I have now funds for a 3rd go

Good luck ladies x

 

[cc117]

Thanks!!

Good luck, cant wait to read about your progress

Pinkie: I know how you feel - so frustrating and nobody really gets and just make comments like "dont over think it and are you sure you want a baby" a friend of mine has just found out she is pregnant - however she split up with her hubby and they were still have sex and hey presto she is pregnants and they are getting divorced so she doesnt really want it

Mummy : So you will starting stimmulating when AF arrives? I do a different protocol

cc117: welcome and good luck with your journey. We are having ICSI too due to OHs issues - he too blames himself and took it very badly and still has really down days but I try and explain we are in this together if I was super fertile we may have got pregnant by now but Im not so we both contribute to the problem

afm: AF arrived and I start down regging on the 11th March...back on the rollercoaster - so hope it works this time I have now funds for a 3rd go

Good luck ladies x

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Morning all or evening.

Still spotting! Just bleed already ha
As soon as I come on properly I start my injections straight away. No down regging as I'm on short protocol.
Then my 1st scan is 5 days later, then every other day until the eggs are up to size x

How's everyone?

I'm currently feeling a tad stressed as we rent our 1st flat out. The lady left who has been in it a year now on sat, and we still haven't got anyone to move in yet. It's been on since beginning of jan. apartently people aren't renting at the mo.
We are having painters in as we haven't got the time to freshen it up, not need the extra stress. So going to be a tight money month for us and that's not including all the petrol getting to hospital and loads to pay to park.
We will be fine, if we are lucky to get someone in there quickly x

 

[Pinkie 33]

Hello Ladies

cc117 - looks like we are all in the same boat here, our issues are down to DP's numbers too. Our worst result was 6 and our highest 200,000. DP knew about it before we got together and has been convinced that I will bugger off because of it (his ex did, had an affair with his best mate and is now pushing their offspring around town). After everything we have been through now I think the penny has dropped that I wont and that we can work through it together. I think it just takes time and trust. Good luck with your tests

mummy.wannabe - great news about your cycle! I dont know much about short protocol, sounds quick without the down reg. Keeping everything crossed for you! Hope you get your flat sorted soon, are you with an agent? If so kick their arse a lot.

Melbram - great news, 11th March is not long! Hoping we can all get the BFPs flowing this spring.

AFM - I'm in a bit of a muddle. Before my first IVF, AF used to arrive like a bomb every 28 days with headaches, cramps and bleeding and last for a few days. Since IVF, I seem to start bleeding on and off for about a week before AF is due.
So, I was told to ring the clininc on CD1 to get booked in. I started on and off bleeding on Friday (when I go to the loo but not inbetween, sorry if TMI!) and its been like it since. Then yesterday woke up with what I thought was AF, rang clininc and got booked in to start 11th March too. Then yesterday afternoon AF stopped again. Only really started again this morning but still not all the time.
Now I'm worried that in my haste to make sure I got booked in I've phoned too soon. Will this bugger things up at their end? I'm booked in 4th March for consents etc so thought I'd run it past them then, maybe I'll need to start a day or two later.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Oh no your poor hubby. What a shitty best friend and ex eh. That's horrible. Why did she choose the best friend!
Makes it worse.
I hope know your hubby knows that got staying as your on your 2nd round and that you would go through that to be with him.

Yes the flat is on with an agent. I just don't want the stress of ringing and complaining. It was very stressful at work today as its full term for the kids to be off, it was mega busy.
I'm really considering taking tomorrow off as holiday if I can get someone to cover tonight.
I just want my period to start and being stressed I know it won't come.

Don't worry nothing is tmi on here.
I spot for over a week before I fully start blessing and like you said, it's just a little there when you wipe and nothing else.
I get very heavy periods so there is no double guessing if I've started for real or not.

I'm not sure whether it would mess them up at there end. they must book loads of people in each day so 1 extra or 1 less person Won't make much difference.

Do you get light periods sometimes normally? X

 

[cc117]

pinkie - wow, thats a horrible/sad situation for your partner and his ex. but hey now he has you Could you call your dr office back again and explain your situation instead of waiting for march 4? ease your mind too.

mummy.wannabe - good luck finding a GOOD renter! sounds like your last one was reliable if they were there for a year.

AFM, Cd 1 today. YAY! Im actually okay and not sad. That means Friday I will do my CD 3 bloodwork and then all my tests are complete for the RE to go over everything and finalize a treatment plan. My next appt is with a social worker and a treatment planner to go over all the drugs.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

My period started last night so I'm cd1 today so can do my 1st injection of gonal f tomorrow morning!!! Yay
Tho I get very worried about needles ha,
Got to ring the hospital this morning and book in for my 1st scan on Tuesday x

 

[bundlesofjoy]

Yippee I am so happy for you mummy.w
Yeah needles are not fun get the hubby to do it while you look away
It's all worth it

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Yes it's defo all worth it to get what we want.

Another very busy and stressful day so far at work.
Got tomorrow off thank god. But I'm working the weekend. It wouldn't be so bad if I did a sit down job but I'm on my feet nearly 9 hours a day.
If I don't feel well I simply won't be going into work whilst I'm going through this.

How is everyone? How's your week been x

 

[2have4kids]

Hi ladies, Mummy, if you feel stressed or you're too taxed with your job, just call it a day and stay home - good idea. It'd be so nice for this to be a success for you.

Melbram, March 11 is coming soon, if the IUI doesn't work I'll be down regging around March 20th as well.
Good luck to everyone in their month, I hope we have some BFP's soon.

AFM, I'm off to get my first scan on Sunday and then Tuesday. Sometime next week around this time I'll be triggering & IUI. I feel like I have a cold coming on. I've taken echinecea, vit C, ColdFX and zinc to try to keep it away. My colleague came in REALLY sick on Tuesday morning and then went home at noon, just enough to pass on his germs! Anyway, hopefully with lots of tea, vits and sleep it won't get me full force. My head is pounding and nose running tho and throat is tender. Not pleased to say the least.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

I had the lergy for over 3 weeks. Constant headaches, chesty cough, bunged up nose etc and it took ages to go. It was the worst cold I've ever had. L

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Lots of stuff going around. Hope you don't get it.
Keep dosing up.

How you feeling with what your taking? X

 

[Pinkie 33]

Hi ladies

mummy - sending you loads of luck for this round. I dont blame you for easing work if needs be. Its not worth the risk. DP's sister said to me last time, if it doesnt work, you dont want to have any reason to think you didnt give it every best chance and if that means taking it easier then so be it.

2have4kids - fingers crossed for you this cycle, I hope you get your BFP without having to go through IVF.

Hope everyone else is doing well

AFM - thanks for all your support everyone. AF has well and truly arrived now. As its only a day or so since booking in I think I'll wait until I go on the 4th to confirm start date but assume it will be 13th. I've decided I'm going to try and self-inject this time as I think it will ease the pressure on us both. Our prescription has arrived so now I need to track down cheap meds.

I'm so glad I have you ladies to talk to through all this

 

[2have4kids]

Lots of stuff going around. Hope you don't get it.
Keep dosing up.

How you feeling with what your taking? X

It's a natural IUI for us this month. They offered me Letrizole but I said no thanks. I'll just deal with the BCP and IVF drugs in the months coming. If IVF doesn't work I"m going to ask for the IVF drugs along with natural cycles after that.

Have you ladies ever heard of anyone doing this? IVF drugs + natural or even IUI? I think our problem is a lack of eggs on my side not necessarily egg meet sperm or sperm issues. Insurance will pay for IVF drugs and the fees with the transfer is $7000+, so this gives me hope that if it's a fail, we can still try again aggressively but using a different less costly method.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Pinkie I agree and that's how I felt last time.
I don't think it's as bad to have the stress whilst doing the injections, tho it helps not too. But to be off work and do nothing from egg collection so you have the best chances of the egg/ eggs taking.
I will get a doctors note for the 2 weeks off like I did last time to chill.

2have4kids I haven't heard of that I'm afraid and I haven't a clue what natural IUI is either.
Sorry I'm no help x
Where have you heard of using the ivf drugs and conceiving naturally x