waiting for ivf and struggling!

[mummy.wannabe]

You should have said something to your cousins husband to make him realise that he thinks conceiving is like a walk in the park and make him realise you will appreciate your success much more than him.
My SILs fiancé has always gone on about having super sperm because they have 3 and he says I only had to look at her and she's pregnant.
If he ever said anything like that whilst I was doing my ivf I would have said, oh that's sensitive isnt it.
People do not think and it hurts sometimes.

We are just on way back from hospital.
I've made good progress. My follies are mostly 13, then have a few bigger ones at 14 ,15 and 2 at 18.
Had more blood to check hormone levels and they are going to phone me later to tell me if I'm defo back Monday. I think I will be and could be ready for collection from weds. So much quicker than before.

When does hubby go away?
Yeah you can't get ill whilst going ivf it might dampen your chances.
My hubby does hurt me some mornings but I can't complain as I couldn't do it.
Gonal doesn't hurt but the orgalutran to stop the eggs dropping I find really painful and that gives me terrible rash after.

I have the weekend off so we have nothing planned just to chill out.

I haven't a clue about plants ha just coffee.
I never used to have patience but the longer I'm there the more I get. Most people are lovely and it's just the occasional few that let it down.
You get your regulars and they know your life and you know there's, it's nice.
My day goes super quick too because its so busy.

2have4kids how much have you lost already? You pleased with your progress?
What about the amounts you can eat? That hard x

Melbram, bundles and anyone I've missed. You all ok?
Can't believe it's 1st of march already, feels like Christmas was just there x

 

[Pinkie 33]

I think I would have said something if my Grandma hadnt been there, she is very sweet and supportive and would hate 'a scene'. I do think sometimes those of us struggling with LTTC do so in silence for fear of looking slightly mental if we lose it.

That's great news about your follies How are you feeling? Have you found a tennant yet?

I really enjoy pottering around the garden center with my Mum and having tea and cake afterwards, trouble is I always spend too much!

DP will find out tomorrow what the plans are hopefully. As the work is in a very beautiful part of Derbyshire, maybe I should take the dogs and go and stay with him whilst he's away. Quite fancy a holiday...

I am collecting my drugs this evening. The clinic said they would cost about £800 - £1200 from the hospital pharmacy. I did some shopping around and in the end went to see my Dr and asked what he thought. He said to leave it with him and he would source them at lowest possible price through our village practice pharmacy. I'm quite excited, you know its happening when the needles arrive!

xx

 

[2have4kids]

Hi Mummy, that's really great about all of your maturing follies, it sounds like you're on track to have a baby! I too am having a relaxing weekend, I'll hit the gym a few times. Today I have a coffee date with a gf and we're going to walk around the river but nothing else on the agenda. DH just got a big LCD smart tv for his bday last weekend, he's off to see his brother so I might see what movies I can play on it
I am really pleased with how much I've lost to date...about 20 lbs in 6 weeks, 25 since Christmas. And my tummy is fine, you can barely see the scars now. I'm very pleased with how much I can eat and I especially like that I don't get a grumbly hungry tummy all the time. We had baked parmesean haddack & veggies last night- I ate a 4 oz piece along with a bowl of roasted veggies, it was SO good. I don't eat carbs like I used to (no rice, quinoa, potato, pasta, bread with my meals), they really do make me hungry every few hours-it's a rollercoaster effect. They spike blood sugar at meal time and in a few hours once you hit that low you crave food and start producing ghreline again. The are also what causes so much insulin resistance and weight gain as you get older, in PCOS women (insulin sensitive ladies), they get their cycles back when they cut carbs out and supplement with inositol. There's an study that shows the hyperglycemic period contributes to embryopathy & m/c, I just don't need another m/c so I've really been very careful about my diet this time. As we age we all fight insulin resistance, I just don't want to give my body anything to deal with while ttc this year.

The year is flying by already. I'm putting March rents in today, I can't believe Jan & Feb have flown by so fast. I'm excited for the next 2 months especially with all of us going through assisted conception together. I hope we can go through pregnancy together soon.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Pinkie , no we haven't got a tenant yet, so we need to curb our spending this month so were ok money wise.
I've had a lot of headaches and started to feel queasy last night but apart from that ok, thank you.

Oh yes I'd go away for awhile if you can. You have to go back to hospital on day 5 normally after your 1st injection.
That's a lot of money on drugs isn't it, but has to be done.
Yes you do feel like its in sight once you have those injections in the fridge.

Wow 2have4kids that's loads. You've done so well. You really sound as tho you've worked it all out and focused on what you have to do, and sounds like you will stick to it.

What I was meaning to ask you is, after the surgery you've had, they cut you? Or go through belly button? When getting pregnant will your tum be ok with the stretching? X

 

[bundlesofjoy]

2have4kids I know it hurts but I do feel good for doing it. Well done on the weight loss you have loss loads mine has stayed the same for a couple of weeks hence joining boot camp.
I read some papers to on myo inositol and it does have some really good results on pcos and fertility its not sold so widely in the stores here seems to be only online. It also helps with hair growth! I seem to lose enough for a wig every time I wash my hair
MummyW congratulations on the growth its all so exciting
I know I wish I liked exercise too! I always have to psychic myself up to go. I also find it hard to go alone to the gym that's why I joined boot camp it's done during lunc break at work so I have people to do it with.

Pinkie I know it seems like we always have to have thick skin with inconsiderate comments

Afm called the hospital got a stroppy lady who said no I could not bring my appointment forward so it's still on the 11th with ultrasound next week.

It's Friday!!! Yah going to try and bake a choccy cake over the weekend test my baking skills I am really contemplating going veggi wih all this horsemeat malacky

 

[2have4kids]

OH sorry Mummy - the cuts were tiny - they did laproscopic surgery, the smallest one is about 1/2 my pinkie nail width and the largest incision was the width of my thumb nail. I'll have no issues with my tummy stretching other than hating to have stretch marks now that I'm almost bikini bod ready.
I hope you don't feel too ill with the meds. I haven't had any issues other than putting on 2 lbs since I took the HCG shot on Sunday night, something's happened but I'll make sure that comes off this weekend.

Pinkie good for you with the boot camp, everytime I do loads of exercise I seem to have a weight stall but on the scale it shows body fat loss so it's all good. Don't worry just try to keep eating healthy and exercising.

I just wish this tww would hurry up! I'm using the Prometrium pearls 3x/day and they're pretty messy. While at work I use a softcup with them to keep things clean and tidy down there - I've ALWAYS hated using pads of any type. Whatever it takes!

I was just playing a cat meowing to my cats and on the side of the youtube vids I saw a pregnant triplet mom with birth...you think I could resist watching? Of course I was in tears, I just want babies so badly. Not a happy happy start to my day but i'll go distract myself now with wrangling some hi-def TV stations for free from my local cable company lol.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

That's good then, no worries about when you do fall pregnant.
When are you testing?

What's promethium pearls? I take it like I did progesterone suppositories from egg collection x

I would have watched the video too, I would have cried also but I love watching people give birth x

 

[2have4kids]

Supposed to test March 15, I think AF will be here sooner than that if it's going to come.I'll use an frer on the 10th. Prometrium pearls are progesterone suppositories.

I just gave my 25 lb cat a bath, he smells good and looks pretty handsome too lol. Keeping busy!!

 

[MinxyChick]

Hi, I posted on this thread in December time but have been off-line since, hope i can rejoin
Looks like I've missed about 20 pages of activity and lots has been happening.

I'll just start where I left off (all the history is in my story, which I need to add the updates to). I've kinda avoided everything ttc related as its all been a bit too much for me.
So, our 2nd failed IVF was September, in our follow up we were referred from the local hospital that is like a feeder clinic to the main Fertility clinic because our Dr didn't know what else to do to get a better embie outcome as my cycle was text book (his words), finally we got the follow up in Jan.
OMG this was a shocker. From the first 2 attempts our hospital had had no feedback on dh's sperm...we found out for the ICSI in March 2012 the count was 2.7m, with 1% motility and in September the sperm was so bad they didn't record it! Each time we go back the news gets worse, it was 7m in Nov 2011. He then said we ought to look at a sperm donor. OMG!!! I knew this could be suggested one day but I didn't think we were near that yet.
They are letting us do our last NHS cycle with DH sperm but if that fails we'll move onto a donor.
I am beyond fuming that this information was never passed back to the hospital, I really thought they didn't know if they didn't tell us. I thought after everything they've put us through we were on the ball on this but as ever no matter how much prep we do the system screws us over. Just to type it brings back all my frustrations!
For the next cycle in addition to asking precise details of embie size / quality we will also be asking about the sperm used on the day!
At the consult we asked for another sperm analysis do see what effect 2.5 months of marilyn 'remortage your house' Glenville vitamins and 3.5 months of chinese teas have done - the results are better - the count is about the same but this time we have 12% excellent, 3% normal, 0% sluggish & 6% non progressive. There were 0 excellent in March 2012! Still normal morphology only 3%. Of course no one medical will accept the vits & teas are making a difference coming up with all sort of silly reasons, but seriously my husband matched the ideal sperm conditions profile before, he's tightened up his diet in the last 12 months to be more healthy but in reality its either the vits or teas or both that have made this improvement.
Maybe if they'd be honest with us we'd still be where we are but I can't help feeling we've lost time. I know the ladies on here are a variety of ages but it saddens me to know I'll be 33 next month and still not a Mummy!
Also asked consultant about IMSI - he said there were too few sperm to do it on! Not sure about that but I don't think that is our path.

Ok, so next step will be our 3rd cycle, hoping to start down regging from about 4th April (I didn't want it clashing with my bday, I never realised my bday meant anything to me until last year I was told we'd gone from 11 to 3 embies on my bday, so enjoying it this year).
DH is keeping on the vits & chinese teas, after this cycle we can't afford to carry on with these treatments. DH has been amazing to get on board with the sperm donor idea, the councilling at the clinic is so good and has really helped, but I'm guessing reality will hit a whole lot harder. (I wish we'd used it earlier).
I'm going to try & keep up / add to my health diet. Get more into my yoga & gentle exercise and above all try to chill out.
Also taking MG vits and chinese teas. Have told the chinese doc after 4 months I'm not temping anymore (though improvements can be seen), plus I didn't pass any clear blue ovulation tests last month, we've accepted we won't get pregnant naturally, that isn't our path, its all hopes on IVF of one form or another. We've literally tried everything this last 3.5 years & I'm exhausted of trying & planned sex. I want spontaneity & so I can keep in mind why we're together, was feeling to mechanical. Was ok b4 the charting as b4 DH wasn't aware of my plans so much! TMI? But we're tried everything & can concentrate on IVF knowing that.

Last time they down regged using contraceptive pills this time it will be Buserelin for nearly a month dreading it. Also hope that because of the different down reg drugs they don't over stimulate me / give me to few drugs. But that's a worry for another day...

That's the quickest I could make my summary.

Good luck to everyone

p.s on the 33 thing...my Mum got pregnant with me naturally (1st & only pregnancy), had a smooth pregnancy & health baby and gave birth a fortnight before her 45th birthday! Only now can I truly appreciate that miracle, the chance of that happening is like 4% I think. I worry I won't get another miracle in my life but also this has given me a false impression of fertility my whole life...

Hope I haven't overshared

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Hey chick.
I'm so sorry about your failed 2nd round.
I had an mc at 6 weeks with my 1st round and it was devastating enough so can only imagine how devastating it must feel if it happens more than once.

It must be very hard to come to terms that your hubby might not be able to use his sperm to conceive but he will always be the father of your child/children.
When I read a lot of stories from different threads/ mags etc it makes me realise that once people are married and decide to try for a baby, realise they need help, that the whole thing takes over our/there lives. We have to make time to be a couple and not think about not having a baby some of our time, as hard as it maybe. I hear to many stories of people breaking up if they can't have babies or once there bsbies are born because they put so much pressure on themselves or each other that they can't cope with it anymore.
It really does make me happy that I loved my hubby and we love each others company ANC that as soon as a baby does arrive we still know that we need time as a couple and not just a family.
This whole process is such a learning curve and I truly believe its teaching me not to take my relationship for granted.

We will be with you a long the way as and when you need to vent/ chat etc and we all help each other where we can, we are all in the same boat as such but we will get there 1 way or another. We are not allowed to give up and have to stay positive x

 

[mummy.wannabe]

I've been flicking back through these pages to see who we haven't heard from for awhile.

Duck tales how you doing?

And cc117 hor you doing? You were starting or waiting for round 3 I think? X

 

[Pinkie 33]

Minxychick, I can understand your frustration about the lack of information sharing however I'm surprised they have asked you to consider using a donor. DP's counts have varied from 6 to 200,000 and when we were at the lowest, the clinic mentioned that if the result tailed off altogether we would have to consider donor. As far as I'm aware, as long as there are healthy sperm there, even if its just a handful, IVF+ICSI is a possibility.

Good luck x

 

[Ducktales]

Hi sorry I have been quiet, start my buserelin this Monday
How is everyone else today?
Xxxx

 

[mummy.wannabe]

You excited? X

 

[MinxyChick]

Thanks for the kind words Mummy.Wannabe - they are so true. Thankfully its been failed IVFs and no miscarriages for us, that is truly is awful

Pinkie - in our case the count is a red herring, the quality of the ones we have got are poor. I think the consultants advice to go donor is based on a combination of the poor sperm and the results we've had:

1st - 13 eggs, 12 fert with ICSI = no blasts & slow growing after day 3. Transferred a 6 & 8 cell embie (day 3 progress)
2nd - 21 eggs, 16 fert with ICSI = 1 moreulla on day 5 & nothing else. Moreulla transfered.

A moreulla can take but I think with such a massive drop off its an even longer shot in our case. Be interesting to see what happens with the 3rd attempt.

I also think the consultants advice is coming from a practical point of view - so far we've given this our best shot and though it costs a lot emotionally, but financially its been free. If we have a 4th attempt at around 5k, how long can we do this financially on the hope we might catch a break, if we use a donor we can get some top notch swimmers hopefully from someone under 25 and we can have our family. My other concern is they say they can't tell the quality of the eggs, if we go donor sperm & get the same results, then it must be me too (or all me), so its onto donor embies and even if they are brilliant we could still just get unlucky and nothing sticks. To do all that could be another 3 attempts. Practically I think moving onto a donor might be the way to go as it would give us our best chance.
It's weird, its like part of me knew it may come to this because I'm not that upset by the prospect, the more that happens more different ways I'd be willing to try to have a family.
If anyone is interested in donors then the donor conception website is an excellent source of information.

Plus from my previous googling I couldn't really find anyone else who got so many embies to start with but then such poor progress.

I feel really cheered up through sharing this & seeing everyone else's replies

 

[2have4kids]

Minxychick, I'm so sorry for all the hassles your clinic. It sounds like you both have overcome alot and it's amazing that your OH agrees to take supplements and chinese herbs to help with his quality. You guys over there in the UK are very lucky to have 3 free tries, it seems like we're in cave man era over here in Canada with only the rich or the indebted able to afford the $12,000 fee for 1 round of IVF. I don't care how much in debt we go, we'll be doing it until we make a baby (or two/three). Sell the house I guess! But they should have told you what you're up against, period.

Is your OH also on folic acid? It's one of the only supplements making news in the studies recently, here's an article: https://www.fertility-health.com/folic-acid-facts.html

I m/c in Nov and I know OH drinks alot so he's now taking folic acid, mens sperm contribute to at least 1/3 of m/c's. I called him yesterday and he's up at his big bro's cabin drinking beers, hi bro can finish a 6 pack in less than 2 hours. I told him to watch it, we're up for IVF next month and that's all we need are dizzy & drunk soldiers.

I hope third time's a charm in your case, after all you both have been through you deserve to taste success.

Ducktales, good luck with your cycle. Have you ever down regged before? Last time I was on BCP I broke out in spots, and I came off it years ago because it caused depression. Have you guys experienced skin issues with the pill while down regging? I start mid march if this IUI doesn't work out.

Oh and have you guys ever had to do the progesterone suppositories? It says on the bottle may cause drowsiness but yesterday I felt like I'd been hit by a bus. I didn't do much other than bath a cat! Stayed in bed with my fresh smelling cat all day lol.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Glad you feel a bit happier. It does help to get it off your chest.

You really have to keep positive and not with the what ifs. If we "what Ifed" all the time we would never do anything.
Just keep focused on this Nhs cycle and hope for the best. Your hubby is doing a lot with the teas etc and you just got to be positive that it will work and think about things as and when they come up. The less stres the better x

It's been a crappy day today. Loads of things broke and we are trying to cut the spending as we haven't got a tenant for our flat yet. It's always the way!
Going out for dinner with my dad and stepmum tonight so looking forward to that x

 

[mummy.wannabe]

2have4kids
I have told my hubby to stop drinking and gave him the talk, saying I'm meant todo my best for my eggs and he needs to do his part too.

I haven't heard of men taking folic before. Ill read that article in a mo.

I didn't down reg but doing the injections has made me break out and I have never been spotty in my life, it was the same as last time too.
I also did progesterone suppositories and I had a lot of symptoms but can't really remember them. I was off work for the 2 weeks so was lounging around a lot whilst on them x

 

[MinxyChick]

mummy.wannabe - hope you have a good meal out. It seems the more we try to have a relaxing time the more is thrown in our path!

2have4kids - I often think how lucky we are with the NHS and where I live. How many attempts we get for free also depends on what county we live in as its at the health authorities discretion on how they spend their money. Luckily where I live we get the maximum available.
I know what you mean on doing anything to pay for the treatment and I really don't know how I'll feel when we have to pay for it.
I've checked the fertility multi-vit my DH takes & it does have folic acid in, every bit helps I guess. I've also read good things about vit c improving counts & omega helping with something. On the up side we've not had a cold since taking these potions, which is a miracle for me.
It's hard trying to balence all this healthiness with enjoying life, I feel for you OH and you.
Bathing a cat that makes me giggle, my cat would not stand for that!

Progesterone Suppositories - I moved onto those from the Crinone Gel as I didn't get on with the gel, it felt a bit sore. I had no side effects but it comes back a bit oily! But I prefer it to the cottage cheese lumps of the crinone gel.

Ducktales - good luck with the buserelin. I'll be taking that in a month, will be interested to hear of any side effects. I was very lucky on my last treatments and only had tiredness and a bit of bloated/swolleness near the end. The tiredness may have been stress as it gave me IBS too.

 

[Ducktales]

Hiya, I am the as mummy.wannabe, no downregging just straight to injections
I am excited but also dreading it not working
Trying to be miss positivity about it though!
My laptop is broken so I have to reply on my phone which is tricky and doesn't work if I try and post multi replies but good luck to everyone and I have everything crossed for us all xxxx