waiting for ivf and struggling!

[bundlesofjoy]

2have4kids I am so sorry I agree with pinkie and melbram research other protocol there must be alternative drugs you can take. Don't understand why they would be so negative after the first try
Men really are not good with they feelings when it's something out of their control. Try talking to him and explaining that you need his support. We are all here to support you to

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Oh 2have4kids I'm so sorry, really wish we lived near and I'd come give you a big hug.
You really need your hubby at a time like that and it's really not fair of him to just leave yo to be with this friends. Where he is hurting or not, you should be together.
I'm feeling for you.
That's rude of the lady to tell you this won't improve. You can not give you, you try everything you can to get your own babies and we will all be here to support you x

 

[MinxyChick]

2have4kids - I'm so sorry to hear your cycle has been cancelled, this is a massive blow, so disappointing This sucks.
I'm sure your OH just doesn't know how to deal with this but it is really off that he choice to go out rather than showing some solidarity. Men are so complex keeping all their feelings bottled up (see my own below). Urghh!
From your post I had to google BCP as I didn't know what the acronym meant, one of the forum hits I got was about poor responders saying that BCP can make their response bad. this maybe something to look into further? It seems they use BCPs to get our cycles at the right times for their schedules. Annoying.
From talking to my acupuncturist and chinese doctor it seems alot of the people they help are poor responders. Neither of these things are cheap but I'd recommend looking into them.
This is such a long & heartbreaking journey but their are success stories out there

AFM: I had my appointment at my new clinic to sort out my drug schedule, all sorted basically BCPs for sometime, start Buserelin 4/5, then Gonal F and Fx EC 31st May.
But the noteworthy part of my visit was I got to have a good long chat with the embryologist, who is very open to having discussions with me on the embies progress when the time comes. He's going to look into our records on the last 2 attempts to really assess whether we should go for a day 3 or 5 transfer. He also seemed to think that we were being guided down the donor route a bit early. He also said we could have been unlucky or it could be the eggs. I think this time will be the test as we are literally doing everything & can't afford to keep it up past this cycle. I left feeling more confident in everything. Also been taking to a lot of women on twitter whose men have rubbish sperm & were offered donors but still got BFPs! One naturally, she sent me a pic of her husbands sperm details. But its hard to compare as counts only tell half the story.
In other news...had a really long heart to heart with DH yesterday, he's been a bit quiet & down for a while now, and i had previously questioned him but got the stock ' everything is fine'. Anyway, he's struggling with the donor idea, (I think this one will come & go). And generally feeling shit about it all, he said he really struggles with seeing families, everyone he works with has young children, he regrets not agreeing to have children sooner when I first asked and thinks this is some sick turn of fate/irony. Sometimes you'd think he wasn't bothered but its all bottled up inside. Was alot better after our long chat, we both needed it. Plus his work is a bit rubbish at the moment too.

Can massively sympathise with everyone's struggles.

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Minxy sounds all good. I think consultants open there mouth too quick and scare us with what they say.
I think every option should be tried before using a donor.
Technology is so good now a days so why not try everything.do you know when you start roughly?
Its nice hubby has opened up.
It took me ages to get things out of my hubby but when he did, he felt so much better too x

 

[Melbram]

Minxy that sounds great exciting to be starting again I bet and so nice that dh has opened up a bit

My oh has always been very open about how he feels so I'm lucky in that sense but he does her down if he thinks about it too much given we have make problem he also struggles more than I do seeing others with children and getting pregnant etc...their not as touch as they like to think are they lol

I'm back to work tomorrow feeling so much better and stomach is almost back to normal size now lol u had to take my belly bar out because it went so big! Decided to keep it out optimistically believing I will b that size and growing in a few months

 

[Melbram]

Should re-read my post before posting - silly autocorrect thing on my phone!

 

[mummy.wannabe]

We can make out what you said ha

Glad your tum is back to normal. You must have been swollen.
I'm not taking mine out until I have too, maybe getting a pregnancy ring then too, its extra long and flexible. I really want to put mine back in after.

You think you'll be ok to go back to work melbram? X

 

[Pinkie 33]

Hey ladies

Minxy - glad you have more confidence in your specialists/process. I think this is vital. Its also fab when you know when things will be happening, at least you can start to plan. Your DP has done the best thing opening up, its so important to both be in the right place in your heads.

Melbram - glad you are feeling better. When will you find out when you can get things moving?

Mummy & Ducktales - how's the symptoms, hope you are both feeling ok

Bundles - any news on your cycle yet?

AFM - was doing fine until last night when I had two tiny spots of red blood. Had a complete meltdown DP fetched our leaflet from the clinic that said minor bleeding between days 5 - 14 is perfectly normal (implantation bleeding etc). But I would have thought implantation should have happened by Friday (7dp3dt) so it seems late? Although he is right, we were 9dp3dt yesterday so bang in the middle. Anyway, managed to avoid testing today but I'm still not feeling very hopeful. Roll on Wednesday

 

[mummy.wannabe]

No I had bleeding much later for 3 days do don't panic unless it goes bright bright red.
Its such a worrying time.

I haven't felt as sick today apart from this evening and didnt take a pill today.
I have my worst nausea around now.
I'm having a lot of cramps and pains but the uterus is stretching now and especially as there's 2 it will be bigger.
Its starting to pop out a bit now x

 

[Melbram]

Mummy wannabe: I was fine for work today lots to catch up on as always but work are great with everything tbh. Glad ur nausea is subsiding a bit x how long until scan now?

Pinkie: argh it would drive me insane too everything crossed a proper period won't necessarily mean failure either

2have4kids: hope ur ok

My af arrived today which I was actually glad about because I can start getting back to normal. I'm just waiting for appt letter to discuss dates for frostie cycle x

 

[2have4kids]

Minxy, I really hope this cycle works for you two and your OH can overcome those feelings (that I have too) about donor help. I did some looking at donor egg banks over the weekend and came to terms with the fact that I might not be able to have my own children. In my mind, I wrestled back and forth with the positives, I won't be able to pass on this horrible arthritis and teeth (had braces), that we can still get a tall person's eggs (I'm 5'9/5'10 depending on which doctor measures me). I found one lady that looks like me-has a full head of thick wavy hair and bright green eyes but her lips are bigger , I've always wanted to have big luscious lips. Really superficial things that make me giggle and help hide my sad depressed heart.

I will ask the doc on Friday about doing a short antagonist cycle, no bcp -I really agree I think it over suppresses my body and it fcked me over by creating cysts. Melbram, Pinkie, Mummy & Bundles I agree, I think the nurse was premature in telling me my response will only get worse, a different protocol that works more with my body's rhythms could really help.

My OH apologised and didn't realise his leaving had such an impact. I also told him that all the waiting I've done for him (I waited for 9 years for the proposal and ring and another 3 years to start ttc) has really made me angry and I need a sincere apology for making every step of having a family with him be an uphill battle. I told him that before starting with any more procedures especially donor eggs he needs to understand that I need him to be more conscientious and concerned and less of a burden more of a partner. He really did hold me tight and care for me...I needed every second of it.

I think they make you wait 2 cycles for the next IVF, I'm going to tell them that I want it to happen before we go away to Florida in end of July. I'm not waiting for 4 months to have the next go, I don't have that much time to spare!!

 

[Melbram]

Glad u and oh have sorted things out let's hope he bucks his ideas up now

Ideally it's 3 months I think just to let your body recover but if u feel fine to go ahead early it shouldn't be a problem x

 

[Melbram]

Urgh had to pop on for a rant... Just found out my cousin who is like my bf is pregnant x the day af arrives she tells me that x she had been trying for a baby all of 2 months and been in a relationship for all of 12 x it's so frustrating we sacrifice so much with not drinking eating healthy taking a million pills a day and going through ivf and some don't think twice about it x I really didn't think it would effect me like this just feel like screaming !

Phew rant over - happy Mondays ey

 

[mummy.wannabe]

2have4 don't look at donar eggs yet you have time to carry on with yours so just concentrate on that and trying different things.
So glad you had a chat with hubby and bet you felt so much better for it.

Melbram that sucks!!! Does she know what your going through?

Well my brother and pregnant gf are off again.
We don't even know if he is the father! She was with someone else at Christmas/ new year and she's 4 months!!! Who knows. Not sure if my brother has worked it out or not.
How can he be so stupid!
Im more angry now x

 

[2have4kids]

Melbram, scream already. That's what a Monday car ride is for! It's infuriating.
Mummy, your brother should insist on a paternity test.

 

[Melbram]

Mummy: all my family know about my ivf but I guess u can't stop it from happening

Can't believe your brothers situation now!

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Yeah I know people can't stop there lives but you hope it makes them thankful for them being able to conceive naturally.

I can't believe it still.
God knows what's going on. He doesn't like to talk about it but he needs to find out x

 

[Pinkie 33]

Hello

2have4kids - I'm so glad you have sorted things out with DH and that you are feeling ready to face the appointment on Friday. I really hope you manage to find a protocol to have a go at before you have to look too seriously at the donor route x

Mummy - your brother sounds like he's got himself in a right pickle I hope he gets some answers before the pregnancy progresses too far, its essential he finds out he's the father.

Melbram - I know how you feel. Its so hard when others seem to fall so quickly. Her timing could have been better

AFM - going quietly loopy waiting for tomorrow morning. I have ne idea if what I'm feeling is good or bad and if the constant slight sick feeling is just worry! This time tomorrow, I'll know....

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Tomorrow will be here in no time.
Think positive!!! I am for you xxxx

 

[Melbram]

So nerve wracking pinkie lots of baby dust coming your way xxxx