waiting for ivf and struggling!

[Melbram]

Love the tshirt mummy wannabe! 8 weeks has flown by. Hope ur sleeping gets better no doubt you'll start to feel quite tired without the lack of sleep at the mo with two little ones growing

Yep looking forward to see when I can do FET quite excited thinking ill be in a good place when I have ET next time around. I think I will half a week or two off them get back to making my body the best place for baby ....which will be a lot easier given it will be summer

Got my apetite back just had crumpets for breakfast pain is subsiding slowly too. Hope u all have a great Friday

 

[Pinkie 33]

Hey all

Glad you are feeling better Melbram, sounds like you have a plan too which is fab Hope the time flies for you x

Mummy - how's the hair?!

2have4kids - good luck with the scan tomorrow, really hoping your follies have been growing nicely

How's everyone else doing?

I've had a day out with Mum and its been lovely, I'm exhausted now though! Its the most activity I've done since before EC. I keep feeling AF type cramps but no spotting yet. I really hope this works

 

[2have4kids]

Pinkie, my fingers and toes are crossed for you!!! What did you get up to with your mom?
Melbram glad you're feeling better, I haven't had a crumpet in SO long! are they the same that I used to have when mom made them for me as a kid? Kind of bubbly toasty things that you put in the toaster and when hot melt butter in and they're kind of thick but with bubbles? Delicious!
I've been eating LOADs of protein, 3 protein shakes yesterday along with shrimp, fish & 'hale to kale' salad for lunch (yum!!) and egg/sausage & fruit in the morning. Protein shake this morning, more eggs, peanut butter,fruit. Lots of water too mummy- Anyway, I've gained 2 lbs in the last 2 days GROW! My Gonal F pen also usually has an extra 50mg in it which I've been injecting too. Yes, feeling pretty desperate.
Will update you tomorrow after the scan.

Today I'm off to a social worker appt with mom & dad. He was diagnosed with Parkinson's and I feel like mom isn't handling it well. We just want to find out what the options are for his long term care and so far she's refused to ask dad's team of doctors about it. She told me she just doesn't want to know or confront it now. I think the sooner we know the better and if we need to set up a wait list for palliative care, the easier it is on her and better it is for him (if we can get him in a better place via wait list etc, he gets better care). She just wants to wait till it happens and deal with it last minute. Her not wanting to deal with things is making it stressful for OH and I so we're meeting with his social worker to talk to him about this. Hopefully alleviate some tension in the air.

I hope everyone is doing well, the weekend is almost here

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Yes melbram its very tiring growing 2 but I'm
Sure I'd struggle with 1.
I'm finally getting some sleep and starting to feel normal.
Glad your feeling good about transfer. Hope its not too long away for you.

My hair feels so much better, I've got very thick hair so when its desperate for a cut it becomes very heavy.
Bought myself a few new tops in the sale, only at tesco tho, nice ones tho.
Glad you had a good day with your mum, I remember being so tired even after an hour of being out.
What did you do? X

2have4kids- don't worry about the weight at the moment. Getting good quality eggs are worth it.

Sorry to hear about your dad. Hope you can sort it and your mum can deal with it x

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Today I have 2 little raspberries in there x

 

[Melbram]

Pinkie: Glad you had a nice day out. Im sure cramping is good

2have4kids: Yep the crumpets are the same as your mum would have made very yummy x So sorry to hear about your dad that must be a huge strain on you trying to deal with that as well as the IVF. I dont think you realise yourself how emotionally draining a situation is. Your like me always have a long term plan
- Best of luck with your scan tomorrow cant believe how fab your diet is I wished I enjoyed eating more foods like that but I am unfortunately a fussy cow

mummwannabe: glad to hear your getting some sleep

afm: a bit like Pinkie ventured out today thought I would go with the OH to walk the dog...even though im still walking around like a granny I was still absolutley nakered when I got home. Im not the fittest of people the best of times but jeez

Not got much planned for the weekend just trying to rest up ready for work on Monday. I still look like im 3 months pregnant so hoping nobody is going to say "are your pregnant"

 

[Ducktales]

Pinkie- I have had cramps very day since ET so sounds good, glad you got out and about x
Melbram- yay for feeling a little better, hopefully no one would make such a stupid comment to you x
Mummyw - good news on the sleep, like the teeshirt x
2have4- I have everything crossed for you, all that protein will be doing something, good luck tomorrow x
Minxy- how are you?

I am knackered and have lots of cramping so off to bed and a lie in tomorrow, I can't wait!
Xxxx

 

[mummy.wannabe]

I'm still having cramping and read that my uterus will be like a grapefruit now but not sure if it will be bigger with 2.

Hope everyone has a good weekend.
I'm off to work so catch up with everyone later x

 

[Melbram]

It's amazing all the changes and growing going on inside

2have4kids: how was the scan??

 

[Pinkie 33]

Hey Gals

2have4kids - how are you, what happened at the scan? Hope you are ok x

What's everyone else been up to?

I've been out in the sunshine and it feels great! Walked the dogs down to the lake so they could tire themselves out swimming and they loved it. Its so nice to have some warm weather at last x

 

[2have4kids]

Hi Ladies, I think they're going to cancel the cycle. We're just waiting for the estrogen levels to come back but they only measured 1.1 and .9 on the r side. I'm pretty numb right now and don't know what to say. Just going to stay in bed today.

 

[Pinkie 33]

I'm so sorry. Is it def over or is there a possibility they might keep at it a bit longer? Big Hugs xxx

 

[mummy.wannabe]

Oh no I'm so sorry, but you'd rather know now than get to the end and they not be good.
Have they discussed what they can do different?
You obviously need a really high dose x

 

[Melbram]

Big hugs 2have4kids the first time is always so difficult because they don't know how your body will react to the medication x if u get to do it again they'll have lots of data to go off to give you the best chance x I k ow at the minute you'll need time to deal with this blow and we are all here when you need a good vent x

 

[Ducktales]

2gave4- big hugs, I'm sorry this has happened
Xxxx

 

[2have4kids]

Estrogen came back at ~150ish which is much too low for a viable ivf according to the fc so they cancelled the cycle. We have an appt Friday with my fs and they said there are other options. I think we'll try again, I don't want to give up even though the nurse said it won't get any better. What do they know? I'll try a gentler protocol and maybe no bcp next time. Since the drugs are paid for I'll just ask her to keep trying.
I'm just frustrated, angry and really depressed. Been bawling all day. OH went cross country skiing and then out to his friends house for dinner and now he's home sleeping. I think he's been avoiding me, doesn't want to deal with the fallout? I could have used some support from him today, he's always thinking about himself. I just feel very alone, sad and tired. Thanks for being there for me girls, I really appreciate the support

 

[Pinkie 33]

I don't blame you for sticking at it. I'm no expert but there maybe other stims drugs that might work in a different way for you etc. After my first IVF I was put on different drugs (from Gonal F to Menopur) as they thought my response would be better, maybe there are others. I realise you must feel like crap but maybe time to hit google hard ready to bombard them with questions on Friday.

Your DH is behaving like a man who doesn't want to deal with the outfall I'm afraid. A bit daft really as they don't realise by doing this they make it harder for themselves in the longrun

Maybe he just doesn't know what to say. Also, I think with men they aren't able to offer support, hugs and a listening ear that easily. They feel like if something is wrong, they have to find the solution to fix it, like a broken bike or something. When they have no way of putting it right, they are totally out of their depth. Doesn't help you I know but maybe if you start researching etc and present him with an action plan of how to deal with it, he might be more able to cope. To be fair, he might also be upset and not know how to share this with you.

Sending you huuuuuuge hugs, feel free to rant as much as you like xxx

 

[Ducktales]

2have4 I am sorry your DH is not being the support you need
I am sure he is hurting just as much as you inside but just doesn't know how to deal with it but clearly disappearing off is hurtful and not very respectful
I am so sorry your cycle has been canceled and I hope they can find a better solution for you- I am sure they will.
Take care, we are all here for you
Xxxxx

 

[Melbram]

2have4kids: rubbish ur cycle has been cancelled and can't believe you were told things won't change next time! That is appalling. Of course things can change with different meds and protoc

 

[Melbram]

Didn't finish...... Meds and protocols there are options that they should discuss fully with you not just dismiss the idea of trying again x could you change clinic perhaps ?