Waiting for ov after mc. 8BFPs so far!! *"the list" page 291*

[GRGirl]

Rachel- aww, hugs. I know you'll get your BFP soon. I hate seeing BFNs now; I just stare at them and cry.

Jrepp- I'm so glad your doc is being proactive! I have my 1st RE appt tomorrow and I'm really nervous. The only issue I know of is the one test for low Protein S, so that may be it or it could be that and something else too. Hopefully your RE helps you guys sort it all out!

AFM- cd7, nothing to report other than today is DS's 2nd birthday!!! I was a little sad thinking about how big he is. He was so sweet this morning; he gave me a hug and said, "I love you mama" on his way out the door and it just melted me. He was such a little helpless thing 2 years ago and now he talks and walks and is just amazing. Also made me sad because I realized how much I want to experience that with a new little one. Just one last time, ya know? If I had known I might not get a 2nd, I would have cherished every moment with him instead of worrying about if I was doing it right and if I was a good enough mom for him.

Tomorrow is my RE appt and I'm getting really scared. Think it's fear of the unknown and just scared to have to get help, but I know we need it.

Made plans for 12/6 to go to a hockey game (we're HUGE hockey fans!) with friends, and one of them is pregnant and made the FB announcement that had me all worked up I'm happy to see them but scared because I hope I don't do something dumb like cry around her. She's due 7/5 and showing already and here I am still struggling to get a sticky baby looking at maybe a September baby when we started TTC before them Ugh whine, whine, I know. I'm trying to keep up my PMA but I think it's pretty much gone. I can't seem to be upbeat about TTC anymore at all I don't want to be that bitter crotchety old lady with just one kid and I'm scared I'll end up that way

Still have this horrible virus- it comes in waves, I get better then worse, better then worse Currently I'm getting worse

 

[garfie]

Gr - Aw hun BIG we all understand how you are feeling - the little one is growing up (did I mention my little one is 11).

I also think it has a lot to do with this virus why you are feeling so down hun - is there nothing you can get to make you feel better?

Don't be scared of the RE they are there to help you - I hope they find something simple wrong that can be cured with a magic pill

Come on we'll help you with the PMA - come on Ggirl you can do it, you are strong for gosh sake you're a woman you have to be

AFM - No sleep again last night - so I'm running on empty - youngest had to see the emergency dentist as he had an abscess on his gum but two of his baby teeth are caught up in it - and his big teeth are trying to push through - OUCH! so the kind Australian Dentist tried to drain it down but said there was a high risk of blood poisoning throughout the night - so if he got any fever, delirium, was sick etc I was to take him straight up to the hospital - well with a baby you can sleep beside them right but with an 11 year old you can't so I was on hourly observation duty throughout the night watching his temperature etc. He was fine, I was anyway he has to go back tomorrow (poor thing) to have his baby teeth removed once the abscess has settled - so I best get an early one tonight or I will be a zombie for work

Why oh why when you haven't had any do people phone, text or the postman have a delivery when you try to catch up



X

 

[Munchkin30]

The stupid hospital refused my drs request for an 8 week scan I really haven't asked for much and considering when I turned up for my 12 wk scan last time it was the first I knew that my baby had died I think that's a bit shit! I don't want weekly scans just 1 stupid 8 week scan to see if baby is ok. We 're happy to pay but I don't trust the private clinics after last time. Really cross now. sorry to rant.

 

[GRGirl]

The hospital has the right to say no to a scan? That's because of the NHS, right? WTH?! You can't even pay for one? That doesn't make sense. They can do it anyway if they'll get paid, either through you or the NHS. I'm sorry That stinks.

 

[Linnypops]

Munchkin - You're effing kidding. Was that just a normal hospital? as in - not an EPAU they called? Call the EPAU yourself, directly, explain your situation. They are generally awesome. You don't need your doctor to do it for you, most epu's you can self refer and if one place rejects you - call another.

 

[Munchkin30]

Yes it does and I'd be really happy to pay but they don't do that. I had a bad experience at a private place last time so I really don't want to go there again. I can't believe they expect me to wait til 12 weeks again!!

 

[Linnypops]

It's plain wrong, i just did a general uk search of different epu's and criteria for self-referral...many of them openly mention previous miscarriage as a reason for calling them, so it's not just spotting or pain in most cases. I personally don't think if you called them that they would turn you down for a reassurance scan after an mmc at 12 weeks!

 

[RachelLynda]

GRGirl - Thank you, I can feel cramps every now and then, nothing strong like AF cramps during AF but cramps like AF just not as intense like my body's getting ready for it :/ Aww that sounds so cute :') We all know how you feel don't worry, Hope the Hockey Match is ok though! Hope the virus getting worse this time is the last time and it gets better

Garfie - Oh bless him! How is he today? One night I was up all night with a cough probably got 2 hours at most, next morning, door buzzed - Postman slowly closing my eye, mum rang, got of the phone and OH sister asked to come over so by then I gave up trying to sleep - to say I was tired was an understatement Hope you got some sleep or you get an early night tonight!

Munchkin - Sorry they refused your scan do you have an EPU you could go to or do they only do scans for bleeding etc? Could you ring up and explain and see what they can do? And why don't you like private scans?

 

[Munchkin30]

Thanks Rachel. Last time I had an 8 wk scan privately and baby measured 6+4 and I knew from being on here it wasn't good but when I told the sonographer I was worried she literally brushed me off and just kept checking she'd got my credit card details. It was rude and awful and if this happens again I want some follow up and would trust NHS sonographers much more. I'd happily pay at my local hospital x

By the way the scan place was Life Through the Lens in stoke on Trent and the Wirral. Anyone searching, don't go there!!

 

[Linnypops]

I find it really weird that we can't pay extra for services through nhs, such as scans or blood tests which aren't standard. Seems like a really straightforward way to get better care without taxing the tax payer. In any case - I can see why you wouldn't want to go private again munchkin.

 

[Munchkin30]

Thanks linny. If my mw doesn't manage to book me in ill call myself or send an email from my BBC account ( being a journalist has it's perks ) and if that doesn't work I'll find a more reliable private place.

 

[Munchkin30]

But in good news I feel like total crap and I'm massively emotional and icky so I'm taking it as a good sign

 

[RachelLynda]

Oh that's awful, I would have refused to pay until I got a second opinion from another person there Are you going to wait or are you going to go back to your doctors or find somewhere else? x

 

[RachelLynda]

My questions always get answered just as I click post

 

[celine]

Munchkin i am shocked about that! All of us on here can relate, really they would make you wait so long! I was offered early scans from 7 weeks (one scan) as reassurance after the mc and the mmc, obv for other reasons we opted for a later scan this time round (17 hours to go!)

 

[Munchkin30]

I know celine I'm counting down the hours with you!! So exciting.

 

[Jalanis22]

Hey ladiesss....today is my bday and last night a lil over 12 i cried....i can help it...it kills me deep inside..my hubs tells me its ok but i know im not....i found this quote and thats really me

 

[celine]

Jalanis isnt it so true though, i am not sure how i will feel on the edd but i will never forget my first mc and on my sons fifth birthday a part of me will relive that i mc on that day
I do think on the edd in feb & april i will do something special...not sure what though. On edd july i will be having a baby (fx)

 

[GRGirl]

Jalanis- I definitely think that's true of me. I know I'm not the same as I was even a few months ago. I hear stories of people who have kids and can't be arsed to even interact with them and I so very desperately want another and would give anything to have their unwanted babies It literally breaks my heart to think I have 3 losses, 3 babies that were so very wanted, and others can't even be bothered with the ones they have. If I think about it too much, though, I start crying and feeling terrible so I have to just block it out. I'm sorry; I truly know how awful it is. I wish it wasn't so horrible for so many of us

Celine- You'll have your little one in July, I know it. And then I can live vicariously through you I'm just hoping next year on the EDDs I'll be pregnant so the sting won't be quite so unbearable. My EDDs would have been 4/10, 6/24, and 7/28. I will be overjoyed if I can be pg with a sticky baby by April.

 

[celine]

Grgrilr is one of your edd april 10th? That was one of mine too