We started together....

[MRSCHERBERT]

Cookie: Yes i have been charting it on ff, pinkpad and womenlog. But i think you have to pay for vip status which i can not do until next friday. So will do it then.

Am quite worried atm hubby is doing his test as we speak. I hope he is doing well.

 

[Cookie1979]

Fingers crossed for your hubby Mrscherbert, hope he passes (Im assuming when you say test you mean driving test, I think I remember you mentioning it before). x

 

[Cookie1979]

I keep finding myself on websites looking at things we'd need to buy for a new baby, I have a list in my head of the things we'll need... I know I need to stop, I can't allow myself to get carried away because if it doesn't happen it will be so disappointing. Still I keep finding myself doing it without thinking. I guess could be worse, I could actually be writing lists, Im at least managing to stop myself from doing that. lol

When af arrived I felt quite relaxed and very patient...now I'm feeling impatient and want it to happen NOW!!!!!

 

[Nataliieexo]

I keep doing that cookie, i find myself on the mothercare website, i just had a cry now i literally don't think i will be able to be truly happy until i have a baby, i feel jealous of everyone who are having a baby and have had a baby, whats worse is my mam thinks i should wait until after the new year to have one, that isn't going to happen she just doesn't understand i fear i will become depressed soon, i feel all of a sudden very weak like i am not going to be able to control this need to be a mother, but i also feel selfish on her because i know i wont be able to be her carer and have a baby at the same time, i feel this is one of the factors why she wants me to wait, i just cant though x

 

[Cookie1979]

It will happen Nat, and the good thing is you have plenty of time...there's no biological clock ticking or anything, you have time on your side. Stress will only make things worse so try and relax, I know its hard but stressing and worrying will only make ttc more difficult.

I on the other hand have a very big, very loud biological clock ticking in my ear!!!! I'm 34, even if I conceive in the next month or two I will be 35 when baby number 2 arrives, Addison will be getting on for 4 and the gap is ever increasing. And if I get to Jan and haven't conceived then I dont know if I will continue trying. I know I shouldn't put pressure on myself, but I can't help it.

 

[Cookie1979]

But then I remember I have 1 perfect boy and I'm very very grateful, and if it turns out I'm only supposed to have 1 child then so be it, 1 is better than none.

 

[MRSCHERBERT]

Evening ladies,

today has been a tough day, hubby failed his driving test and then his instructor told me that he had told her he didnt want a baby. Which hurt me alot, not only because a baby is must for our marriage to survive but because it was his instructor that told me.
He says that she got the wrong end of the stick but i am not sure i believe him atm is tension is high here.

Might be out this month before its even started. I feel i need to focus on my marriage.

 

[Nataliieexo]

Oh no why would she even tell you this does she know you well enough to be talking about that? i dont think thats something he should be even talking about with her but then again i dont know the story so i shouldnt really say that.

I understand why you are hurt i would be too, i do hope your ok x

 

[Nataliieexo]

It will happen Nat, and the good thing is you have plenty of time...there's no biological clock ticking or anything, you have time on your side. Stress will only make things worse so try and relax, I know its hard but stressing and worrying will only make ttc more difficult.

I on the other hand have a very big, very loud biological clock ticking in my ear!!!! I'm 34, even if I conceive in the next month or two I will be 35 when baby number 2 arrives, Addison will be getting on for 4 and the gap is ever increasing. And if I get to Jan and haven't conceived then I dont know if I will continue trying. I know I shouldn't put pressure on myself, but I can't help it.

This is very true, why dont you want to continue trying after january, 35 is not to old to be ttc x

 

[Nataliieexo]

So i spoke to my mam i told her i am to jealous of other pregnant people and people with babys, and that when i think of having another chance soon i feel better but when i think of waiting it makes me feel really sad and that i wouldn't be happy now and with my cousin pregnant i will find that hard and she said well you might be pregnant by the time she has the baby and it wont be so hard for you, yey shes on board, i now have the problem of my CT scan the doctor cancelled it since i got my bfp and now i have to wait for another referral, hopefully this wont be to long as i really shouldn't ttc until i have had that done x

 

[Flower15]

Nat - it's natural to feel jealous etc. your lucky that you have OH and your mums support. It will definitely happen, hopefully soon, shouldn't take long with your love life ha ha!! Like cookie said your age is on your side, I'm the same at age as you and we both fell first month of trying.

Mrscherbert - I'm sorry about your OH failing. Loads of people fail on their first go. I'd be annoyed and upset and confused if I was you after what he's instructor said. It's none of her business even if he did say that. Men are so selfish at times , he knows how much you want this and what you're going through with fertility treatments etc! I hope you're ok! Have you asked him why he said that? X

 

[Flower15]

Such an idiot managed to fall down stairs, tripped over one of Ellie's toys. Landed on my hands and knees but now worrying I've done some harm :/. X

 

[Cookie1979]

You won't have done any harm, it's right in your pelvic area and well protected so don't worry about it.

Mrscherbert - why would your hubby tell his instructor that and then why would he tell you? I don't get it? Do you both know the instructor well. I don't know the situation but I imagine trying for so long is hard on both of you, perhaps it was taken out of context? X

 

[MRSCHERBERT]

Nat: At the end of the day i think you need to do what you think is best.

Cookie: Yes we know the instructor well, she is my father in laws best friend. Hubby says it was taken out of context. But it as been something i have had a sneaky suspicion about for a while so i am a little reluctant to believe him at the moment and there is a definate tension between us, he says that i don't believe him with words then actions will have to do but i can not even bring myself to kiss him let alone make love to him right now.

But i am sure we will get through this we have a strong marriage, surely this cant break it.

Flower: Are you ok? You really should be more careful in your delicate condition.

 

[Nataliieexo]

Such an idiot managed to fall down stairs, tripped over one of Ellie's toys. Landed on my hands and knees but now worrying I've done some harm :/. X

I hope you are ok, i dont think you will have done any damage though x

 

[Flower15]

Thanks everyone, im fine, just annoyed at myself, need to start slowing down I think!

Mrscherbert - sorry your going through this. I cant imagine him going through all these treatments etc if he didnt want one. He knows the joy yet challenges having a child brings as he already has one of his own, so Im sure he wouldnt agree if it wasnt what he wanted. I really feel that it wasnt the driving instuctors place to say, if he has got worries about TTC he should speak to you. How did OH respond to that conception reading? x

 

[MRSCHERBERT]

Flower: Hubby says we will be have to wait and see what happens, we actually dtd last night in a bid to bring the romance back and fight through the bad feeling but i still feel a bit disconnected.

 

[Flower15]

Its natural to feel a bit disconnected after hearing that. Do you not think its because youve been trying for a while so he doesnt want to get his hopes up, so hes trying to take a laid back approach as though hes not fussed, just to avoid disappointment, but really he does really want one, if you get me! You never know with men, they do generally conceal their feelings more than women. Maybe you should do your romantic meal soon, maybe help get the connection/spark back. Just time for you both to enjoy each other. TTC does take the romance out of everything and can put a lot of strain on a relationship! x

 

[Cookie1979]

I agree with Flowers previous comment, he wouldn't go through all this if he didn't want a baby. If he says he wants a baby and if after all this time is still trying I would take his word for it, and try and forget what his driving instructor said.

Well I wanted to start temping today but didn't happen because my son woke up at 4am screaming, so got up to see to him...by the time I got back to sleep it was gone 5am and I had to get up at 6am. So no temperature taking, I shall try again tomorrow.

 

[Flower15]

I can imagine how hard temping must be with a LO. Ellies an early riser, but it varies between 5am to 6.30am, depending on how tired she is the night before.

I know its early days to be thinking about prams, but trying to budget in advance, does Addison still use a pram Cookie. Ellie can walk, but she does nap every day so if we are out she is in her buggy. Do you reckon il need a double pram. She will be 2 years 4 months when the new baby arrives (all going well!)? x