Just wanted to share my story of Waiting It Out. My little guy is a toddler now, but I think the decision/resolution to Wait It Out is usually made when the baby is small, so I decided to post this in Baby Club to encourage mamas who don't feel comfortable with crying-based sleep training.
That said, I don't want this to become a thread about whether sleep-training is bad. I decided that crying-based training, whether CC or CIO was something that I was not comfortable doing for a number of reasons (and honestly, given my son's personality, I don't believe it would have worked), but I also believe it's up to individual parents to decide what's right for their own family.
So, I basically did every bad thing that you're not "meant" to do with babies. I nursed to sleep, every time. I rocked. I held. I co-slept. I stayed in the room till he was asleep, rubbing his back or holding his hand.
And yes, it took a while for him to go to sleep in his own cot, by himself, and stay there all night, and sometimes it was pretty tough. But now, at just over two years old, he goes to bed happily every night, I kiss him goodnight and say "See you in the morning darling", close the door, and he sleeps through till we wake him up (7pm-7am).
There were no tears, all the dire threats people made about him never learning to self-settle and STTN didn't come true, and he moved through every stage to independence by himself, which I'm really happy about.
Here's how it went:
Birth-4 months: not a bad sleeper, needed to be nursed to sleep and often rocked too, woke 1-3 times a night, slept in a hammock
4-10 months: terrible, massive sleep regression, woke up to 8 times a night (usually 3-5 but often more). Gradually stopped needing rocking but still had to be fed to sleep every time. Started co sleeping after initial 3-hour stretch in cot
10-12 months: sleep improved, wakings down to 1-3 again
12 months on: sporadically stopped nursing to sleep -still had "last feed" but would unlatch himself and roll away towards cot, or as language improved, started murmuring "cot"
13 months: massive horrible regression, waking loads again. I tried Jay Gordon's gentle night weaning but he got a cold after two days so I stopped and never retried because the regression finished by itself
14 months: stopped co-sleeping - he would still wake, but could be put back in his cot instead of resisting
From 14 months: started STTN, at first 1-2 times a week, by 18 months, every night
19.5 months: another regression lasting 5 weeks with the arrival of baby sister and two colds
21 months: back to STTN every night. Gradually needed less back-rubbing and hand-holding in cot to fall asleep until by...
24 months: self-settling - can put in cot, say "Night-night" and leave the room, and he will go to sleep right away or after a few minutes of chatting to his soft toys
I know that to mums of babies who are up many times a night (mine often woke 6-8 times a night from 4 months till 10 months), the idea of having to wait two years until your child self-settles and STTN might seem nightmarish. But looking back, it just doesn't feel like that long.
Now that I'm on my second baby, I'm much more relaxed because I know how quickly everything changes, and how soon it will pass in the big scheme of things. I will definitely WIO again, despite having had a "bad" aka probably quite normal sleeper for my first.
Anyone else want to share stories of Waiting It Out?
That said, I don't want this to become a thread about whether sleep-training is bad. I decided that crying-based training, whether CC or CIO was something that I was not comfortable doing for a number of reasons (and honestly, given my son's personality, I don't believe it would have worked), but I also believe it's up to individual parents to decide what's right for their own family.
So, I basically did every bad thing that you're not "meant" to do with babies. I nursed to sleep, every time. I rocked. I held. I co-slept. I stayed in the room till he was asleep, rubbing his back or holding his hand.
And yes, it took a while for him to go to sleep in his own cot, by himself, and stay there all night, and sometimes it was pretty tough. But now, at just over two years old, he goes to bed happily every night, I kiss him goodnight and say "See you in the morning darling", close the door, and he sleeps through till we wake him up (7pm-7am).
There were no tears, all the dire threats people made about him never learning to self-settle and STTN didn't come true, and he moved through every stage to independence by himself, which I'm really happy about.
Here's how it went:
Birth-4 months: not a bad sleeper, needed to be nursed to sleep and often rocked too, woke 1-3 times a night, slept in a hammock
4-10 months: terrible, massive sleep regression, woke up to 8 times a night (usually 3-5 but often more). Gradually stopped needing rocking but still had to be fed to sleep every time. Started co sleeping after initial 3-hour stretch in cot
10-12 months: sleep improved, wakings down to 1-3 again
12 months on: sporadically stopped nursing to sleep -still had "last feed" but would unlatch himself and roll away towards cot, or as language improved, started murmuring "cot"
13 months: massive horrible regression, waking loads again. I tried Jay Gordon's gentle night weaning but he got a cold after two days so I stopped and never retried because the regression finished by itself
14 months: stopped co-sleeping - he would still wake, but could be put back in his cot instead of resisting
From 14 months: started STTN, at first 1-2 times a week, by 18 months, every night
19.5 months: another regression lasting 5 weeks with the arrival of baby sister and two colds
21 months: back to STTN every night. Gradually needed less back-rubbing and hand-holding in cot to fall asleep until by...
24 months: self-settling - can put in cot, say "Night-night" and leave the room, and he will go to sleep right away or after a few minutes of chatting to his soft toys
I know that to mums of babies who are up many times a night (mine often woke 6-8 times a night from 4 months till 10 months), the idea of having to wait two years until your child self-settles and STTN might seem nightmarish. But looking back, it just doesn't feel like that long.
Now that I'm on my second baby, I'm much more relaxed because I know how quickly everything changes, and how soon it will pass in the big scheme of things. I will definitely WIO again, despite having had a "bad" aka probably quite normal sleeper for my first.
Anyone else want to share stories of Waiting It Out?
