Finally had the ultrasound. Now I'm waiting to hear the bad news.
Stopped by our RE's office around 12:30 and saw him for a few minutes. He was looking through my chart and suddenly asked me if I had my x-ray yet. He started to explain to me about injecting the dye to check my tubes. I told him that I hadn't had one, but I had read about the procedure. He told me that if I didn't get pregnant this month, we would schedule the x-ray next month.
My hubby did go back with me and watched while the trans-vaginal ultrasound was done. Afterwards all he could say was he couldn't make heads or tails out of what he was seeing.
Am I being silly? I feel so self conscious when DH is with me when I see a doctor, especially if I have to take off any clothes. I don't have a good opinion of my looks or body anyway.
The sonographer tried to keep talking about other things to make me feel comfortable during the ultrasound. The only thing she asked me pertaining to the procedure during the ultrasound was if I were taking anything to help with my follicles. I told her about the Clomid I took for the first time recently.
I knew it wouldn't do any good to ask her what she saw. She would tell me that my doctor would discuss the results with me. Our RE had instructed to have the results faxed immediately to him. I was hoping he would call me this evening, but I guess I'll have to wait to see if I hear from him on Monday. If I don't hear from him by the middle of Monday afternoon, I'm definitely calling his office.
The Clearblue digital OPK came today. Naturally, when I was trying to carefully remove the tester, it slipped and hit the tile bathroom floor. It took three strips to finally get a response. Naturally, it was negative. The regular ovulation strip still showed no second line either.
I don't mean to come on the board and sound so negative. You have to forgive me. Everything has been going wrong for us. Life has been pretty cruel. I have learned to expect the next bad thing to happen soon. I hope you all will understand.
I'll let you know the results as soon as I hear from our RE.
Ladies,
I really want to explain why I sounded so hopeless in my post from July 6th. I don't want you to get the impression of me that I'm a drama queen. Believe me that is far from the truth about who I am.
There is so much history also behind what I wrote, so I couldn't go all the way back. Unfortunately, I can't go into too much detail right now about what has recently happened. My husband was going to school for a new program at our technical school here. He already has his BS in Physics with a Chemistry and Math minor. He is very gifted in science and math. So much so, that he enjoys working out long equations or reading math and science books in his spare time.
He and I were told that as long as he did well in the program and then his internship, he would be hired at the plant. He did extremely well in his studies - making the Dean's List and being inducted into an honor society. He received excellent conduct grades. He never missed a day and was often at school one to two hours early for classes. If it wasn't for DH his class wouldn't have graduated. He helped them all with the coursework.
During his internship, DH worked very hard. He was there everyday and would be there 45 minutes early. He did everything asked of him and would come to pick me up from work looking filthy and so tired. He would be excited though about his day and the work he did and looked forward to the next day of his internship.
He graduated from his internship and on that day, they were told that there weren't very many positions available. We were told that on June 18th we would hear from them if a position was available or not. So much for the promise that there would be a job.
Hubby waited all day for the call. Instead he received an e-mail mentioning a delay. On June 22nd, he finally received a call. Not only wasn't he offered a job, he was told he was unsatisfactory.
I'm suspicious of the whole mess but what can I prove? He has been used. Now, he has no job and it doesn't look as if he'll have one anytime soon.
The day after we received this news, someone kicked in our storm door late at night. Now, I've had to pay for a new door and all the things to go with it and have to pay for someone to install it with money I don't really have. Ironically, I'm supporting with my tax dollars, the very trash who kicked it in.
Then on July 6th, I received a notice about our yard.
I used to try to keep struggling and stay focused on making things better. Now, I don't see a reason to. It's been one bad thing after another.
I wanted to explain why I sounded so negative.