Welcome to 'Trying To Conceive Over 35'

[melly2]

Angel- where are you today sweetnins? (That's what I call my dd's...not that they are always sweet...lol)

I'm now here!!! Sorry been MIA getting a few things sorted

BabyW best of luck tomorrow!!! I hope your IUI goes well!!! Let us know how you feel.

AFM.. had wheat and I'm regretting it.. feel awful!

I'm going back to bed, but before I do, I was thinking that my real FET is around the corner!! Next week biopsy, then the following is AF and before you know it, it's the start of my FET cycle!!!! I still think we'll be doing the transfer at the beginning of May.. so exciting!!!!

Thanks, sitting here waiting for DH. I was exhausted yesterday from the Ovidrel it's like liquid exhaustion as someone put it on an IUI thread. One girl on there for fraternal twins from a 17 and 15 follie!!

Hoping like crazy this works. Happy Easter ladies! Will try and check in later.

Let us know how it all goes!!!

Ditto Babywhisperer, let us know, thinking of you and sending you loads of

Happy Easter, everyone...It looks like everyone is doing well this week.

A quick update on my husband. He went to a fertility urologist on Friday. They will be performing more tests on him, however, the news doesn't appear to be good. His FSH levels are high, yet his count is low. This appears to be indicative of a failing testicle. So, the one last testicle he has remaining, may be going bad on him, too. This would leave him having to do testerone hormone treatments for the rest of his life. Yikes! So young to be having this many problems. (I secretly blame my father-in-law subjecting my husband to second hand smoke as a child).

The doctor, of course, said our only option was IVF. To be honest, we haven't discussed that option any further. I have become at peace with this, as if my calling in life is not to be a mother, but perhaps take care of our aging parents. I haven't shed a tear, I haven't put much thought into it...just that it is what it is.

All that said, he will be having more tests to determine if this is indeed happening to him. Of course, I worry more about his own health than us becoming parents. Clearly this has not been at the top of our priority list seeing that we've been married for 11 years and only talked about children in the last year. At the end of the day, he's my soulmate, my best friend, he's who I am committed to, and regardless if we can or can't have children together we'll take everyday as a new beginning.

Melly... it is good to be prepared but also good to hope so see what the rest of the tests hold and go from there. Would you even look at one round of IVF to give it a go? x



Chantal..... where are you honey, thinking of you xo



Twiggers and Sams

Hello all! Thanks for the kind words. I need to do more research into IVF before I can say for sure; it's not totally out of the question. We've discussed adoption, too. So that is a possibility.

It will all work itself out.

 

[AngelSerenity]

Well girls I've moved forward a little bit and I'm feeling quite good, albeit a little emotional today. I know that I have made the right decision and both my parents and my DH's sister support me 100% in my actions. DH needs to face his issues and sort them or he will end up like his father who was an alcoholic (and abusive). My SIL said she saw it all as was brought up around it and if it were her DH she would be doing the same thing.

DH is currently going through the feeling sorry for himself phase which I expect to turn to anger soon but I am sticking to my guns. He cannot expect me to come home to the same circumstances and support him while he recovers. I have told him that I'll only THINK about coming home once he receives professional help and he is on some type of programme like AA or something. We have spoke very little and this communication was only tonight by text, I refuse to call him or do any running, if he wants his family back he'll have to fight for it.

So we begin to wait.........

 

[alicatt]

Melly.. What about using donor sperm and doing an IUI? You can pick someone that looks a lot like your DH, or someone that looks like you and give that a try? You could also do ICI with donor sperm in your own bedroom! Just have to time it all and make sure you order the at the right time. They send it in a tank that keeps the froze. for up to 7 days, so you have some time.

Angel.. you are doing the right thing. Here is hoping your DH sees the light! be strong!

AFM.. I think I got some sun.. my nose is a little pink! Gotta go to the beach more often The beach was a little wild today and too cold for swimming, but I did get my toes wet!

Happy Easter!

 

[Babywhisperer]

Melly.. What about using donor sperm and doing an IUI? You can pick someone that looks a lot like your DH, or someone that looks like you and give that a try? You could also do ICI with donor sperm in your own bedroom! Just have to time it all and make sure you order the at the right time. They send it in a tank that keeps the froze. for up to 7 days, so you have some time.

Angel.. you are doing the right thing. Here is hoping your DH sees the light! be strong!

AFM.. I think I got some sun.. my nose is a little pink! Gotta go to the beach more often The beach was a little wild today and too cold for swimming, but I did get my toes wet!

Happy Easter!

That pic looks awesome! Hope you had a good Easter!

Melly, you have a good perspective that your dh and marriage comes first. I wouldn't want you to feel like you missed out on being a parent, so maybe when his health stabilizes you can talk about your options...or have him give sperm while he can in case you do want to do IVF? You will figure out what's best for you guys.

Angel, you are doing the right thing. To stand by dh would make him think its ok to continue what he's doing. If he wakes up alone and missing what he has maybe a lightbulb will go off and he will realize he has to change or else lose you. I know it's hard to do what you're doing but you need to. Enabling him will only perpetuate the behavior. Stay strong, we are here for you.

How are you doing Sams? Coy how are you, the girls and dh? Did the girls like their Easter baskets?

Afm, I'm home from Easter with my family. IUI went well, only some cramping afterwards. They told me dh's numbers but I don't remember. I remember them being over 50% one one thing, over 80 on another and a high count. They also said their lab sees 4% or 5% morphology as lower end of normal. They were happy with the numbers. They told us to bd tonight and tomorrow morning. I'm cramping but will try anyway. I start progesterone supps Tues night and preg test is the 15th. I'm still tired from the Ovidrel. I came home from the Dr a d slet for over an hr. I felt some pinching on the left ovary. When should ovu be? I am going to go for acupuncture either tomorrow or Tues. I hope the fatigue and bloating subsides soon!!

 

[twiggers]

x

 

[Philomena]

Hi Ladies,
just a quick post tonight to say Happy Easter!
Here's a quick pic for you.... the cat is getting used to having the baby around!
https://i1305.photobucket.com/albums/s557/PhilomenaBence/CaughtaMouse_zps9dec8743.jpg

 

[melly2]

Hi Ladies,
just a quick post tonight to say Happy Easter!
Here's a quick pic for you.... the cat is getting used to having the baby around!
https://i1305.photobucket.com/albums/s557/PhilomenaBence/CaughtaMouse_zps9dec8743.jpg

OMG!! I LOVE this photo. Too cute. Your cat looks like my old cat, Buddy...love black cats.

 

[melly2]

Melly.. What about using donor sperm and doing an IUI? You can pick someone that looks a lot like your DH, or someone that looks like you and give that a try? You could also do ICI with donor sperm in your own bedroom! Just have to time it all and make sure you order the at the right time. They send it in a tank that keeps the froze. for up to 7 days, so you have some time.

It's an option. I think my husband and I need to sit down and determine how much we want this ( I know for sure, him more than me). I'm on the fence right now about everything. I don't want to disappoint him as I know he would be a wonderful father and has always wanted a child. We really need to just decide what we want for our future.

 

[alicatt]

At the FS office now.. waiting for my US.. lets hope my uterus is cooperating!

 

[never_give_up]

Hello Ladies

Babywhisperer I hope that your IUI went well and that you are doing good.

twiggers I am sorry your dh is ill and his low testosterone is has affected his sperm. My dh also has very poor sperm morphology and it is a very touchy subject with him. He is also very lethargic. I also worry about his health since poor sperm quality is often an indication of health problems. Praying for you both.

Ali so exciting your FET will be soon!

Angel how are you feeling? What pregnancy symptoms are you having this week?

Coy I am sure your family had an awesome Easter. How are you feeling?

Sam you are so funny calling your ginko "witches brew" I think I need to take some of that as lately I have been quite forgetful

Melly I feel the same way as you. My dh is my soulmate too and with or without children we will be happy. I sometimes wish he didn't want this as much as I do. Then I could just give up. But I feel like his dreams are in my hands. Sometimes he is like a big kid too. We got baby fish over the Easter weekend and I was fussing with the fish tank and he said I wasn't feeding him and fussing over him like I usually do. I said when we have a baby he better get used to me not fussing over him anymore

So I had my appointment this morning with the high risk OB. She said all my tests for autoimmune issues and blood clotting were negative. So it's good to know my body isn't attacking our embryos. Still have to wait for the chromosome testing. She said they may have been able to do it but no guarantee since sometimes the cells die before they can get them under the microscope. Dh is unwilling to go to the urologist again and said he rather just use donor sperm and egg. I talked with him at length about it and I think that he is just trying to get the quickest (and most expensive) route. In the past he has often made quick decisions about other things that he has then regretted and I don't want that to happen again. I did discuss going to other fertility centers and he insists on staying with the one we did IVF with because they have the highest success rates.

 

[never_give_up]

Philomena! How are you and your adorable baby girl?

Your cat seems to love her

Hi Ladies,
just a quick post tonight to say Happy Easter!
Here's a quick pic for you.... the cat is getting used to having the baby around!
https://i1305.photobucket.com/albums/s557/PhilomenaBence/CaughtaMouse_zps9dec8743.jpg

 

[Philomena]

Philomena! How are you and your adorable baby girl?

Your cat seems to love her

Hi Ladies,
just a quick post tonight to say Happy Easter!
Here's a quick pic for you.... the cat is getting used to having the baby around!
https://i1305.photobucket.com/albums/s557/PhilomenaBence/CaughtaMouse_zps9dec8743.jpg

Hi Chantal!
hope this finds you feeling better....

The cat has been avoiding the baby for the last three months... she would come and sniff the baby then dash off when Saria would move her little arms or legs!
Now my eldest is in Germany on a school trip and I think the cat is lonely!!
because yesterday the cat came and hung out with us on the sofa, still keeping her distance... but then I wrapped the babe in the cat's favourite blanket and voila! the cat walked right over the baby and planted herself over top of her legs and was quite happy to stay there for ages.... I think she's starting to accept that the baby is here for good!
when I was pregnant I would nap on the sofa and the cat would curl up on my belly...*grin*

I've been trying to get some things moved around in the house... I had a sewing area in a loft space on the upper floor, but I want to move that to the basement for now and put the tv up there instead. having it on the main level, I end up watching it too much. If I put it upstairs and keep the main level tv free then we get so much more done in a day... holy cow, fabric weighs SO much!!

how is everyone else doing?

Phil.

 

[alicatt]

Afternoon

So I had my appointment with the FS, and he's looking at my lining and saying it looks ok, it hasn't grown any, it is still 8.5mm. While he's looking at it trying to see if it looks good, I tell him that I think I ovulated on Saturday afternoon. He's like you aren't supposed to be ovulating!!! The estrogen is supposed to suppress ovulation!! So how on earth did I ovulate? So she looks at my right ovary, and says.. nothing there. I said, well the pain was on my left ovary. Sure enough there is a corpus luteum there. He says, well you very well may have, and ordered an e2 and p4 test to see. Unfortunately we won't get those until tomorrow since the blood lady had already picked up for the day. So my blood won't go out until tomorrow

So if it turns out that I did ovulate, my body is being bad and ignoring the estrogen that they are giving me and I need a stronger suppression, like Lupron I hate Lupron! That is the stuff that gives me evil headaches and hives! Good news is that they are only doing 1 biopsy, not 2, so that saves me some $$ (well just apply it to the next cycle).

So now we wait until tomorrow afternoon to find out my fate. Oh and they won't do the biopsy on the weekend so if it turns out that it is an old corpus luteum and we are good to go, I will start my PIO (progesterone in oil) on Wednesday and have the biopsy on Monday.

So either way my plan of having a baby on my Dad's birthday (Jan 16, 2014) is not likely between this delay and extending my cycle, and/or cancelling the cycle it will either be later on in January or February now

 

[alicatt]

So I had my appointment this morning with the high risk OB. She said all my tests for autoimmune issues and blood clotting were negative. So it's good to know my body isn't attacking our embryos. Still have to wait for the chromosome testing. She said they may have been able to do it but no guarantee since sometimes the cells die before they can get them under the microscope. Dh is unwilling to go to the urologist again and said he rather just use donor sperm and egg. I talked with him at length about it and I think that he is just trying to get the quickest (and most expensive) route. In the past he has often made quick decisions about other things that he has then regretted and I don't want that to happen again. I did discuss going to other fertility centers and he insists on staying with the one we did IVF with because they have the highest success rates.

Hey Chantal..

Sorry your DH is being a bit pig headed about everything. That is too bad. I would give him some time to come around. He really does need to make sure that there isn't anything going on down there. Especially if things like what Melly discussed can occur! It may be effecting more than his ability to father a child! Not good. So maybe you can urge him to have the tests because it could be causing other issues? As for the fertility centers, there are lots of variables that create those success rates.. and just because one center has better rates doesn't mean that they will have better rates for you. I would think that your DH as an IT guy would understand all of that. Anyway, sounds like you guys need to on things and let things percolate and then discuss again in a few days. I think at the very least you can look into different clinics, find out what their fee schedules are, and look them up on the NIH site that shows the success rates. Oh, and don't forget that you were looking at IVF cycles in general. You might find that a different clinic has better success rates with DE/IVF. As I said, just because they have good rates doesn't mean that they are any good. A lot of clinics stop treating a woman with poor response like you so that their rates don't go down! Which may very well be the case with your clinic. I wish I could talk to your DH, and I would conk him on the head for being so closed minded! In the end the decisions are yours, and you and he will have to live with those decisions. I hope you guys can figure it all out and make some good decisions between you both!

 

[Babywhisperer]

Afternoon

So I had my appointment with the FS, and he's looking at my lining and saying it looks ok, it hasn't grown any, it is still 8.5mm. While he's looking at it trying to see if it looks good, I tell him that I think I ovulated on Saturday afternoon. He's like you aren't supposed to be ovulating!!! The estrogen is supposed to suppress ovulation!! So how on earth did I ovulate? So she looks at my right ovary, and says.. nothing there. I said, well the pain was on my left ovary. Sure enough there is a corpus luteum there. He says, well you very well may have, and ordered an e2 and p4 test to see. Unfortunately we won't get those until tomorrow since the blood lady had already picked up for the day. So my blood won't go out until tomorrow

So if it turns out that I did ovulate, my body is being bad and ignoring the estrogen that they are giving me and I need a stronger suppression, like Lupron I hate Lupron! That is the stuff that gives me evil headaches and hives! Good news is that they are only doing 1 biopsy, not 2, so that saves me some $$ (well just apply it to the next cycle).

So now we wait until tomorrow afternoon to find out my fate. Oh and they won't do the biopsy on the weekend so if it turns out that it is an old corpus luteum and we are good to go, I will start my PIO (progesterone in oil) on Wednesday and have the biopsy on Monday.

So either way my plan of having a baby on my Dad's birthday (Jan 16, 2014) is not likely between this delay and extending my cycle, and/or cancelling the cycle it will either be later on in January or February now

Well this is mixed news I'm sure, but the fact you know your body may help the dr get to the bottom of what's going on faster and avoid more unnecessary heartache. If things get delayed its for the best. Haste makes waste! It's better to proceed with all the info possible. Don't get upset about the timing, it will happen. I swear we make plans and God laughs. Better to be postponed for a month and know what's going on with your body and why it's not responding to the patches. Good news about only 1 biopsy! Hang in there. Anything you can do about Lupron side effects?

Phil your cat and baby look so cute together. You know how to sew with a machine? My grandmother wants to give me her machine. She was a seamstress and made clothes for us. At 93 she still makes us afghans for our homes! I'm clueless with sewing and knitting!

Chantal how are you doing? I know how you feel. My husband can be like that too. Maybe discuss each scenario with him at a time where he's more receptive. I have had to pick my moments with dh too. He flipped out about going off Propecia and for a while swore he was going bald. There has been no change in his hair, even his barber told him he's crazy. Now he realizes this is a journey that we both have to do things to arrive at the destination we both want. I swear whoever wrote that Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus book was spot on! Men just communicate differently. But more importantly, how are you feeling about things?

Afm I am taking the day off today. Work is slow and I covered for everyone on Thursday. I have to felt much in the way of ovu. Maybe slight pinching for a few minutes. Usually I feel it for a day or more. What gives? I know the Ovidrel shot is still in me bc my nips hurt a lot and I'm still exhausted. We bd last night but not this morning. Dh had to leave early to prepare witnesses for depositions. Poor guy had to work a few hrs yesterday on Easter.

How is everyone else? Coy, Angel, Sams, Twiggers, Melly...Jess??

 

[alicatt]

Phil - I keep meaning to say CUTE picture! Glad your cat is starting to warm up to Saria!!!

 

[alicatt]

BabyW - thanks. My FS even said the same thing. The whole reason we do the trial FET's is to make sure that we get everything right! So if we have to do the lupron, then we do the lupron. I actually felt that it helped my last cycle (IVF) so maybe it will help again with my FET? I just hated how it made me feel. I was grumpy and iritable, and anxious, and itchy and my head hurt for the entire time I was on it! So basically the whole scenario sucked!

Glad you are taking the day off and chilling! It is good to just relax and let things happen. Pay particular attention to your body on 6-7 DPO, those are the days you will likely be implanting. So try to rest and relax on those days too. I'm not sure about why you aren't feeling O? What dose of ovidrel did they give you? It is possible that you were just that zonked that you slept through it. I've done that before when I was doing IUIs. I wouldn't sweat it too much. Just enjoy the 2WW as much as you can!

So have you decided to test or not? If you do I would wait until at least 9-11 DPO.

 

[never_give_up]

Ali I am sorry that you have to take the lupron and that everything is delayed. I dislike lupron too You have to endure alot, seems the meds you end up having to take are always the ones that give you migraines But you did say there is still a chance that it is an old corpus luteum. Delayed but not denied Ali. Just remember that. I know it is frustrating though but it is better they get everything perfect so that your precious embies stick this time!
Babywhisperer is right. We make plans and God always makes things happen on His time. I would have prefered to get pregnant the month after I got back from Barbados. Between the bumpy plane ride and my Mom stressing me out with her mood swings. Maybe God wanted our little bean to visit Barbados since He knew he/she wasn't going to be able to go in person.


Yes you are right dh is stubborn. He was born in the year of the Ox they are very stubborn! Well I told him I am rushing to that clinic because I am still mad at them for ignoring me when I got my bfp. He was like what the heck did you want them to do? You weren't a patient of theirs and you hadn't done ivf. I told him that you didn't think I was crazy for thinking that and actually agreed with me for feeling that way. He said oh you women always stick together lol

Afternoon

So I had my appointment with the FS, and he's looking at my lining and saying it looks ok, it hasn't grown any, it is still 8.5mm. While he's looking at it trying to see if it looks good, I tell him that I think I ovulated on Saturday afternoon. He's like you aren't supposed to be ovulating!!! The estrogen is supposed to suppress ovulation!! So how on earth did I ovulate? So she looks at my right ovary, and says.. nothing there. I said, well the pain was on my left ovary. Sure enough there is a corpus luteum there. He says, well you very well may have, and ordered an e2 and p4 test to see. Unfortunately we won't get those until tomorrow since the blood lady had already picked up for the day. So my blood won't go out until tomorrow

So if it turns out that I did ovulate, my body is being bad and ignoring the estrogen that they are giving me and I need a stronger suppression, like Lupron I hate Lupron! That is the stuff that gives me evil headaches and hives! Good news is that they are only doing 1 biopsy, not 2, so that saves me some $$ (well just apply it to the next cycle).

So now we wait until tomorrow afternoon to find out my fate. Oh and they won't do the biopsy on the weekend so if it turns out that it is an old corpus luteum and we are good to go, I will start my PIO (progesterone in oil) on Wednesday and have the biopsy on Monday.

So either way my plan of having a baby on my Dad's birthday (Jan 16, 2014) is not likely between this delay and extending my cycle, and/or cancelling the cycle it will either be later on in January or February now

 

[never_give_up]

Babywhisperer that is so true I tell dh that all the time "Men are from Mars and Women are from Venus" lol
To answer your question I feel somewhat better emotionally. Last night though when I was watching "the Bible" I broke down. I keep telling myself through this that God wants the best for us. Well he sure made his own Son Jesus suffer a long time. I cry every time I watch the crucifixion of Jesus

 

[never_give_up]

oops Ali I meant I am NOT rushing to the clinic...
Thinking about it I am a patient of theirs because I already had my consult for DE and told I wasn't quite ready to start. My name was even in the system for egg donor. Dh said I have to let the grudge I have against them go. Funny thing is I don't usually hold grudges. Then again I have never had anyone turn their back on me before and this is how I felt about them.