What age do you think it is ok to leave children at home?

[modified]

At 11 years old, I was commuting to and from high school in London alone. 2 buses and a tube ride there and back and I most definitely wasn't alone. I'd been left alone from around 5pm until around 10pm when my older (when I was 11, she was 15) sister got in and we were then alone until my single mum got home from work around midnight. Seems a good age to me.

 

[Quartz]

I think from a parents perspective it depends on where you live and the maturity of your child.

From a legal perspective even though there is no set legal age you could be prosecuted if something happened if you left them at home alone under 12 and overnight under the age of 16. You could also be prosecuted if something happened and the babysitter was under 16 (even if it was an accident for negligence).

Personally I would probably have let DD walk to school without me around year 5 as it just on the road that runs parallel to us but DS will only be in year 1 so she is stuck with me! She will probably make her own way though (with friends) from year 7 which is probably around the time I would go to the supermarket.

Overnight definitely over 16, I am very particular about my house and dont feel it would be fair to put that on her particularly with what can happen with parties and social media

 

[RaspberryK]

Btw I never once had a party at my dad and step mums or had more than 2-3 round my house at once even with my parents away with plenty of notice. Neither did my brothers we were more responsible than that Even at 15!
Xx

 

[Lina]

The UK is generally more paranoid about these issues. Having grown up in mainland Europe the over-protectiveness and general reduced responsibilities for minors has been surprising for me to see and hard to really understand. The actual risks of leaving a 10 year old in a locked house for 5 min is similar in many parts of the world. I really think this does nothing for independence and self esteem. I understand that there are risks, as with anything we do but to have a social worker question the mental faculties of someone leaving a 7 year old for 5 min is a bit dramatic and a out of touch.

 

[Firefly Skies]

I don't have kids yet, but I was left alone around 11-12 while my mom went shopping and I feel that was okay. Depends on the maturity of your kids though: I was smart & cautious (aka paranoid) enough to not do anything stupid or dangerous, but some kids aren't.

 

[smileyfaces]

The UK is generally more paranoid about these issues. Having grown up in mainland Europe the over-protectiveness and general reduced responsibilities for minors has been surprising for me to see and hard to really understand. The actual risks of leaving a 10 year old in a locked house for 5 min is similar in many parts of the world. I really think this does nothing for independence and self esteem. I understand that there are risks, as with anything we do but to have a social worker question the mental faculties of someone leaving a 7 year old for 5 min is a bit dramatic and a out of touch.

It is not for 5 minutes though.

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I don't think 7 is old enough to have that responsibility and I agree with a PP about social networks x

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

And I dont think I'm being over protective. Ok, so lock in? What about fires? Thats an extreme and not a main concern but I still dont think it's fair. Its not nad parenting. I just take my son to the shop with me? In fact this works out better as he is currently working on conversation amd how to pay it would be worse and lazier for me to leave him at home.

 

[noon_child]

Just had another thought about responsibility and age. What about young carers? Legally if you are an adult in the house with your kid then you are the 'responsible one' but if you are mentally ill, severely disabled etc. then the realty is that a young child might have to take on that role and many DO and although it isn't a nice childhood, they aren't dying left right and centre from household accidents. Some statistics from Branardos website:

Young carer facts

1)The average age of a young carer is 12.
2)Young carers are children and young people under 18 who provide regular and on-going care and emotional support to a family member who is physically or mentally ill, disabled or misuses substances.
3) The 2001 census identified 175,000 young carers in the UK, with 13,000 caring for more than 50 hours per week. The 2011 census identified 178,000 young carers in England and Wales alone; an 83% increase in the number of young carers aged 5 to 7 years and a 55% increase in the number of children caring who are aged 8 to 9 years.

YOUNG CARERS AGE 5! That blows my mind...

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

Yejlh but young carers doesnt mean left at home while mum/dad goes out. My DD has been to YC group and ive volunteered and I dont think being left at home is a general rule. Sure lots have to make dinner and care whilst helping out but not left alone. Its a complete different scenerio.(IMO)

 

[Midnight_Fairy]

I understand some will need to go to shops etc but not without a swcond thought at 6

 

[RaspberryK]

Well I guess I was a young carer at times, I'd say my mum was completely useless and might as well not have been there since she was usually pissed and unwakeable!
I managed to keep myself and both of my younger siblings alive!
Xx

 

[morri]

I went to the shops myself when i was 6 years old to fetch some milk.

 

[Natsku]

I don't think 7 is old enough to have that responsibility and I agree with a PP about social networks x

I think some 7 year olds are old enough to have that responsibility and enjoy having it. Like shamrockerjo said, it works over here. And its not like there's much in the way of social networks here, at least not in the cities. Even in Helsinki 7 year olds commute to school by themselves on the city buses and might spend an hour or more at home alone after school. Not all 7 year olds can handle that responsibility though of course.

 

[daneuse27]

I was left alone at 8-9 years old to look after myself, and my two younger brothers who were 5 and 3 at the time.

I had overheard my parents discussing hiring a babysitter and I was adamant about not wanting one. I didn't like the idea of having a teenager in my house being the boss of me I had a talk with them, and they decided they trusted me to manage things while they were gone.

In the summer, we were left for the entire day by ourselves. My mom would explain to my brothers that I was in charge.

Nothing bad ever happened, and personally I believe I was mature enough. I felt great having the responsibility and took 'my job' very seriously.

I'm not saying all 8 year olds could do this, but some are definitely capable.

 

[freckleonear]

As I said before, I occasionally leave my 6 year old for 5 minutes while I nip to the shop. It's something that I have carefully risk-assessed and I believe the risks are minimal. He is very capable and sensible, and I get him to recite our safety rules every time. I leave the front door unlocked so that he can get out in an emergency. We live in a block of four flats so nobody except the neighbours can get in. He knows what to do if there is a fire and he knows that he should go to the neighbours if he needs help. The shop is less than 50 m away and the road is very quiet most of the time, so the chances of anything happening to me are slim. I set a timer for 20 minutes before I go and leave a list of phone numbers for him to call if I don't come back within that time.

I personally think that there is a tendency to wrap our children in cotton wool in the UK, and the resulting lack of freedom and independence is far more damaging for children than being left alone for a short time in a safe environment.

 

[Natsku]

The way our locks work is that the door is always locked from the outside but from the inside you only need to turn the handle to open the door, so kids can be safe inside a locked house but still be able to get out in an emergency (gotta love Abloy locks!)

 

[Noodlebear]

My son isn't even 2 yet so I can't say when I'd leave him to nip to the shops, that also depends entirely on where the shop is etc but there's no way I'd leave an under 10 for a few hours +

 

[sue_88]

I personally don't think I'll leave my LO until at least middle high school age (13/14) for 2/3 hours, even hen I'd see first if she could go somewhere or have someone round.

I was never left alone under 14, and then it was only for no longer than 2/3 hours, and even then we'd usually have someone come and sit with us. We never bothered, it was usually my Dads friend who was hilarious.

I was never left alone overnight until I moved to Uni at 18. I was fine with this, and have lived a very successful independent life.

No harm done here, and I think it's rude to call a parent who would choose this overbearing or overprotective!!

 

[amazed]

My oldest is 13, he's a good kid but I.don't feel comfy leaving him.home I did a few months back for an hour as he had chicken pox... I personally woukdnt leave a child under 10 alone.