What are everyone's reasons for waiting?

[ladybrixton]

Hi ladies,

I introduced myself long ago and have been lurking ever since. I thought I'd jump in and start posting now our TTC is only a year away - it felt like an unsurmountable distance before now.

I'm curious about everyone's reasons for waiting. For us, there are a few factors, the biggest of which is my work. I'm the breadwinner in our family and work full time. I'm a teacher and have just started work at a new school. I am with an agency at this school, though the school have told me they want me permanently, but I don't know when they will take me on. Until then I have no job security. I also don't like the idea of announcing a new pregnancy before I've worked somewhere a year. If all goes to plan and we TTC successfully next November then I'll have two full years at the school before going on maternity leave, which I don't think is too bad.

Another reason is our little boy. I want him to be the baby for as long as possible and I want to be able to devote all the spare time I have to him. Having him has made me even more broody (which I didn't think is possible) and I desperately want another, but I do want to have some time with just me and him first.

We're trying next November for a July 2014 baby. How about all of you and what are your reasons?

x

ps Sorry if this post is too nosy!

 

[BabyCleo]

Well im 21 and my fiance is 27. We both would have started trying already if it wasnt for the fact we are getting married in 10 months. I think honeymoon night is the TTC date for us, just feels so far away. I also just started a new job and i want to make sure im there for a while before going on mat leave. We also only have a 1 bedroom apartment which we love and dont want to part with, so it will be hard doing that too. Can baby survive in a large 1 bedroom with us for 1 or 2 years? anyone know? thanks!

 

[kailynn]

You have wonderful reasons to wait!

Ours is a bit different. I always dreamed of being married before baby, so as hard as it is for me to wait, I'm waiting on OH to pop the question! Which he's hinted towards being married within the next year and given me full permission to start some of the planning that can be donw without knowing the exact date. Another reason is he finishes school in January and is guaranteed a very high paying job after graduating, and with him doing that I am going to stay working for at least the first year to save every penny I make and whatever is left over from his check each week, to put towards the wedding, a down payment on a house, and baby. All this while I attend school and try to finish this degree before baby arrivesso I can become at SAHM until my children are in school (I plan on having them very close in age if God allows!) And further my degree in medicine so by the time thwy are in school, I will be starting my career.

Sorry for the long explanation, it seemed to drag!

 

[aidensxmomma]

For me and my OH, the reasons we're waiting are all basically financial. We want to both have jobs (he's got a good job, I don't yet), we want to be financial stable and have our debts paid off, and we want to be living together in our own place (not with one of our parents). We're hoping to meet all these goals by October 2013.

BabyCleo - I think a baby would be fine in a one bedroom apartment with you and your fiance. When I had my kids, they all shared a room with me for the first 6 months - 1 year, anyway. And right now, my kids are in a three bedroom house with me, my mom, my stepdad, and my brother. I share a room with my daughter and my son shares a room with my mom.

 

[BabyCleo]

Ah thanks!! That is good to know

 

[TMonster]

I think its perfectly doable to have a child in a 1 bedroom apartment.
We live in a 1 bedroom in Manhattan on the upper west side and I really dont want to move. NYC apartments are notoriously small but I've decided that for the first year we will keep the crib in our bedroom. It will be tight and require a bit of rearranging but possible. Once the child needs its own room/bed what we've (I've) decided to do is get a playhouse bed

*you can see a picture of what I am talking about on this site sweetdreambed d0t c0m /picture_library/LuxuryKidsPlayhouses d0t jpg the site wont let me put the full URL in the post since I have fewer than 10 posts so you will have to type it in*

The bed is on top. There are stairs and a slide and there is a play space inside as well as built in shelving and room for toys. There is also an option to get it with a Murphy bed in the playspace inside so that if friends sleep over they can stay there. This way the child would have their own privacy, the mess and toys can be contained and they can have their own room for a few more years without us having to move. I figure I can also have a second child and while that one needs a crib it can stay in the bedroom with us. Once we reach a point where both kids need a bedroom we will either need to consider moving or put bunk beds in the bedroom and we will use a sofa bed in the living room.

The schools here are really good, the neighborhood is amazing and I am sandwiched between central park and riverside park. I would hate to have to leave and we lucked out with awesome rent. $2200 for a 1br on the UWS is a steal. When we contacted a realtor about a 2br we were given options in worse neighborhoods from $3900 to $4500 and I would really prefer to save that extra money for as long as possible.

Raising children in 1 bedroom households is very common in NYC and honestly, most of the world. You shouldnt stress it.

 

[BabyCleo]

Thank you both!!! I was honestly very worried about this!! Im so glad ive read what youve both said. Our 1 bedroom apartment is a lovely size, and this has made my day

 

[staralfur]

We live in a one bedroom apartment and I HATE it! Really cannot wait to get out. There seems to never be enough room for anything. But we also have two dogs, so that doesn't help. It probably depends a bit on what you're used to as well.

We have three main reasons for waiting which are 1) Move into a house (we move on December 1st, so there's one thing off the list ), 2) I have to finish school, and 3) Get married. We're getting married November 2013 and that's about the time I'm going to be finished school also.

Ultimately it comes down to when we can go on our honeymoon. If we can go right after our wedding then we'll start trying then, but we may have to hold off until March 2014.

 

[CMarie]

DH and I lived in a 1 bedroom place with our LO until he was 6 months old. Honestly, I couldn't imagine living there much past that age because they start to become so active!

The main reason we're waiting is because DH isn't ready for another one right now. I graduate college in the spring so I'm hoping he'll change his mind by the summer, but we'll see

 

[Emiloo]

We have many factors.... were waiting til OH finishes his part time course to be an Electrician, were saving for a deposit on a house, Im saving for a car and learning to drive at christmas, and plus OH is no where ready and Im not completely. So lots of things to do before we make a LO!

 

[stephj25]

I have a few reasons:-

1 - I may have a new job and have to work there for a year to get the full maternity benefits
2 - I don't want to be changing 2 lots of nappies
3 - I'm letting my body recover from appendicitis and labour
4 - I'm still breast feeding and don't want to get pregnant until Olivia is fully weaned.
5 - I want a 2-3 year age gap

I think that's it!! xx

 

[ladybrixton]

We have a small two-bedroom apartment in London, but one of the bedrooms is out of action because my husband is self employed and that's his study/studio. Up until now it's been fine having baby in the same room as us, but now he's having terrible sleep issues and people keep telling me to move him into his own room as this could really help. I wish we had the space. We also have everything in one room - living, dining room and kitchen - and I'm worried about when he starts scrawling (he's nearly off) as there is no way to childproof this whole room and there are quite a few risks. We'll have to be super vigilant once he's on the move. We were on the verge of moving to a house, but the deal has practically fallen through (there's still a glimmer of hope they might find somewhere soon to move to) and there's just nothing on the market at the moment, so it looks like we're here for a while.

In my experience it can work, but it's not ideal sharing a room and a small space with a baby.

x

 

[Viridian Soul]

Our reasons are all financial, too. We want it to work out so that he's working (currently unemployed without a job in sight) and I'm able to stay at home. We are also wanting to have our own place, preferably in the country, instead of living in MIL's soon-to-be-foreclosed house. Right now, because of the living situation, we're saving money to move, but I just wish all this stuff would turn around faster so we can get on with the babymaking!

 

[comotion89]

we are waiting to be married which is just over 2 n a half years away so more time to sort ourselves financially I need to get my self sorted in my nursing career we want some more holidays together that's it basically we rent a 3 bed semi an have two cars so haven't got much to tick off

 

[Caslynn]

We are waiting till I am done school in June 2013. As well in May/June DH will be making a major job change to fire fighting and we will have over an 80,000 dollar pay cut due to the job change. Its so worth it though to have him home all the time and not away

 

[Mummy Bean]

we are waiting for LO to be 9 months, and for me to go back to work so we can replenish our savings as they took as massive hit this past 9 months.

 

[knobby]

Waiting to be married! Wedding is end of June 2013. We'll be trying on our wedding night!

 

[Loobs]

We are waiting until we are married too. Wedding in May 2014 and the planning of that is really helping take my mind off TTC!

 

[jj84]

Also waiting to be married in August 2013 and enjoying married life for a few months before trying at the end of 2013

 

[vikster]

We were all ready to start TTC in July this year but I was diagnosed with Crohn's disease so we have had to put it back for a year. We were gutted as we moved into our dream amity home ready for kids and both have well paid jobs so are financially stable. Everything was in place and ready to go but I ended up in hospital and I am on medication for life now. Plus, it is dangerous for me and the baby if I get pregnant while the disease is active so the sensible thing is to wait.

Everything happens for a reason though and when our time comes to TTC next year, it will be extra special. It just feels like forever away! X