What to do with DS1 when in labour?!

[freddie]

My little boy will be almost 19 months when the new baby comes along. He has never stayed a night away from me and still breastfeeds before bed and twice overnight. He has only just started to let my husband put him down to bed and he has never ever let anyone else put him to sleep (for example have been out for a meal a couple of times and left him with my parents for a few hours. He has woken up but will absolutely not be put back to sleep by them and stays awake till I get back!)

I am feeling really anxious about how things will work when I go into labour. I really want my husband to be at the birth, which I intend to be in the pool at the midwife led unit, about 15 minutes drive from my house.

Last time round I went into the hospital at 5pm, had ds at 1.04am and wasn't discharged til gone midday the next day. If for example, this was my time scale again (obviously I know it could be any time but just trying an example!) what on earth would I do about my son?! I wouldn't be there for bed time (which might *possibly* be ok if maybe my husband could be there to put him to bed) but then it's the overnight part that I'm most worried about, he gets pretty hysterical if I'm not there to comfort/ nurse him when he wakes. (Know this from times I have tried to get hubby to comfort him instead of me in hopes of cutting some night feeds). He would have a terrible time of it without me there basically.

Help!!!!!!! What do I do?!?!?!?!?!

 

[FoxMommy]

Maybe try some trial bedtimes with grandparents before, but it'll only be a day or two. If he doesn't sleep he will be ok. Just leave him with someone patient who loves him who he trusts, not as good as mommy but hell be ok. Talk about it leading up to your due date, I know he's young but kids are smart. If you warn him he may wake up to daddy, or grandma if your having baby they can tell him and it might help him that you warned him.

 

[megrenade]

My son is totally attached to me, he will be about 22 months when I have Baby #2.

I'm hoping he's actually still nursing, because that is supposed to help labor go faster and help your milk come in a little sooner.

He will probably be in the room with me most of the time, but will be trading him off between his daddy and his grandma (my mother).

 

[sojourn]

Hmmm...that is tough.
I don't think I would want a kid with me while in labor (I feel like it could be scary for them, distracting for me and my husband and just a potential for a lot of difficulty). So maybe the best solution is try to cut down on the night time feedings and get him used to other people being part of the night time routine?

Maybe try having grandma or grandpa come over a few nights and do the bedtime routine *with* you and slowly let them take over some portion of it. Like reading the story or tucking in. Let grandparents take more and more of a role until they do the whole thing without you there (well before you're in labor).

Then with the night feedings, you should be able to step those down. Try replacing one feeding with shushing and cuddling instead of nursing. Then as he gets used to the one feeding replace the second feeding with comforting/shushing also. Maybe grandma won't mind spending the night at the house and getting up a few times. Then you can spend then night with DS at grandma's a few times to get him used to being gone, but with you there. Do a couple of trial runs before the birth to see what obstacles might be there.

It will likely be very hard. There are certain to be some tears, but new routines might be the best way to gently acclimate your son to this. Especially since he's going to have to get used to being a bit more relaxed about mom since he'll be sharing soon.

It's my understanding that your child will start sleeping through the night, for the most part, a while before your second child is born. Perhaps that will help.

Take everything here with a grain of salt! I am a first time mom, but I teach pre-school and have been in child-care/education for 10 years. I am really good at getting kids into different routines.

Good luck! I hope you find a good solution.

 

[Storm1jet2]

I have no idea and I am so stuck as to what to do with DD, if its during the day she can go to nursery but at night Im stuck - Dhs cousin is on standby but I know she won't settle with her. TBH I can see me giving birth on my own while DH has DD - that isn't ideal but my little lady needs someone to look after her!

 

[Hooblet]

My son will be 21 months when Bumplet arrives, and up until a few days ago had never been put down for a nap or to bed by anyone other than me or my husband, and had been at home with me every day. We started him at nursery a couple of afternoons a week so he doesn't associate it with new baby, and my mum has been over more often and has put him down for naps and to bed. She hasn't braved a bath but she's given him his tea. I'm also trying to take him to her house and get him used to sleeping there as much as possible, as was in hospital for 3 nights total with him (was induced and then two further nights) and you never really know how it will work out.

It's definitely put my mind at ease having a few practice runs - but as other ladies have said, if he doesn't sleep all that well then as long as he's with someone patient who won't get cross then it isn't the end of the world. All you can do is try and set up something which will keep them in their routine as much as possible - but it's only a few days, in the end. Everything will change for them when the littlies arrive anyway

 

[JessPape]

Our mother in law (ugh) will either come and stay from 38 weeks, or 40 weeks. Ideally, I would like her come at 40 weeks. So I need to find someone who can watch her IF I go in to labor early.