When IVF fails - please join for support

[Comfycushions]

Sorry nelly
I hope you're doing whatever you can to look after yourself today.

I know it wont help today but the initial pain of that negative does start to fade. I can still clearly remember sobbing from the gut wrenching despair as dh drove me home but it doesn't hurt as acutely now.

 

[Comfycushions]

Bmw how are you doing lovely?

 

[Comfycushions]

I've just found myself googling IVF abroad........I'm going to step away from the internet!

 

[Jaybo]

So sorry Nelly. It's so difficult and unfair, but as Comfy says it does become less painful with time. Hope you are getting lots of support and looking after yourself

Comfy, sorry you've had a tough few days. Well done for keeping up the gym. I'm trying my best to get back in shape but the motivation is just not there! Maybe I need to book a beach holiday too! ;-) When are you off to Greece? Don't feel bad about Googling treatment, it's only normal to want to explore different options when your coming to terms with, or deciding what to do next. We've gone back and forward so many times in our discussions. Afterall these are probably (hopefully) the most difficult decisions we'll have to make.

Beneath, hope you're doing OK lovely x x

 

[beneathmywing]

Hi, girls

Pretty anxious. DH got his blood drawn last week for autoimmune testing and I'm doing mine tomorrow. Had to wait for my hcg to hit 0. Doctor is testing is to see if our autoimmune systems match and I am terrified. Hoping for good results in 2 weeks! FX!

Hope you guys are all hanging in there and pushing forward. I pray for you all

 

[Jaybo]

Figers crossed for you beneath! Praying you get good news in a couple of weeks. Do you have to wait for the results of all these new tests before you can plan for FET?

 

[Comfycushions]

Jaybo the prospect of baring my body in a bikini has certainly been a great motivator! We're flying on the 29th, yay.
I didn't do too much investigating, I still think ivf is the last thing I want to do to myself I guess it's like you said just a need to be absolutely clear on what I think about various options.

Bmw that's a shame you've got to wait so long for your blood test results. Why must everything with having a baby come in trying two week time slots. I'll be keeping everything crossed for a good result for you so you can move on to you're fet with a clear plan for success.

 

[beneathmywing]

Figers crossed for you beneath! Praying you get good news in a couple of weeks. Do you have to wait for the results of all these new tests before you can plan for FET?

Thanks! I need all the prayers I can get. Yepp, I need all these results first just in case something is up and we need a different course of action. Hate to waste my frosties for nothing!

Jaybo the prospect of baring my body in a bikini has certainly been a great motivator! We're flying on the 29th, yay.
I didn't do too much investigating, I still think ivf is the last thing I want to do to myself I guess it's like you said just a need to be absolutely clear on what I think about various options.

Bmw that's a shame you've got to wait so long for your blood test results. Why must everything with having a baby come in trying two week time slots. I'll be keeping everything crossed for a good result for you so you can move on to you're fet with a clear plan for success.

Yeah, they ship out the blood to an outside company that tests for immune issues so thats why it takes a while. It sucks, but ive waited this long.. Hopefully two weeks goes by fast!!

 

[Jaybo]

Comfy a beach holiday sounds just what you need. I love Greece, me and DH have been back a few times to the islands over the years. Hope you have a really fab time.

Beneath, I hope the next two weeks fly by. Try not to worry too much (I know easier said then done). Hang in there girl xxx

 

[beneathmywing]

Comfy a beach holiday sounds just what you need. I love Greece, me and DH have been back a few times to the islands over the years. Hope you have a really fab time.

Beneath, I hope the next two weeks fly by. Try not to worry too much (I know easier said then done). Hang in there girl xxx

Ohhh Greece! Id love if DH and I could afford to go on vacation. I bet it would do us a load of good, but we just cant afford it right now with all these doctor bills!!

Im trying to stay calm!! Hope it comes fast though.

 

[nobump]

Nelly sorry for your failed cycle.

Comfycushions, looking at alternatives is only natural, a few on this board have been successful with treatment abroad, but not sure it is for everyone. Wish I can motivate myself to go to the gym, just tried on a few dress, not liking the look of myself in the changing room mirrors. Enjoy your holiday.

beneathmywing, FX for your blood test, sorry it takes so long!

AFM, Just had an appointment with new consultant, should be getting booked in for an endometrial resection next week, hopefully on Tuesday or Friday next week hopefully this will be the end to the persistent bleeding, tried to get an answer out of him re his thoughts on whether I should try another IVF cycle, but couldn't get a clear response. I keep seeing adoption/fostering adverts, and today I was positive the couple at the next table to me were discussing being successful with fostering or adoption. Not sure if I am having second thoughts about going down this route, need to try and sort things out in my head before discussing this with my DH.

How is everyone else doing?

xx

 

[Comfycushions]

Hi everyone. Hope you're all ok.

I've not been posting as spent a few weeks sort of blundering around in what felt like the depths of despair. (bit dramatic I know) Anyway there was lots of sobbing and what not. I need to keep reminding myself that I'm just going through a grieving process and will survive. At the moment I'm not feeling too bad. The week in the sun definitely helped (apart from the day we went to the beach and as soon as we'd paid for our sun loungers got surrounded by a load of different families with their young babies! I shed a few silent tears then managed to get on with my day-I'm definitely taking that as a positive for myself.)
Still really struggling with not knowing what I want to do (I feel like I need to have a plan-but i do realise that 'having a plan' isn't crucial or the be all and end all) On the one hand I know absolutely that I don't want to put myself and dh through the emotional, physical and (ludicrous) financial toll of ivf but walking away from ttc is just so hard that i waver in my conviction.
I'm hoping that maybe by the end of the year I'll be able to look at fostering (something I'd always wanted to do previously) in a more positive light. At the moment considering it just seems to compound the feeling of loss of not carrying and giving birth to my own child.

Anyway self pity aside I've got a bit of a tan and indulged in lots of sweet treats, copious amounts of good food and booze! Back on my holistic lifestyle and exercise plan at some point next week.

Nobump, how did your procedure go. I hope it's been done and has sorted out the issue you were having with bleeding.
Have you had a chat with DH about fostering/adoption? I'll be very interested to know how you get on if you go down that route. I think I'm leaning towards long term fostering if we go down that route (but then who knows, after all it was just a couple of weeks ago i was considering IVF abroad!)

Jaybo, have you joined a thread for your next cycle? I intend to be keeping an eye on your progress I'm really hopeful for you.

Mrs W have you moved yet. I hope it went well/goes smoothly.

Love and and Lizzie, aurora and everyone else.

 

[Jaybo]

Hi everyone,

Comfy -- sorry you've been feeling low It is a grieving process process we're going through so it's not surprising to be feeling this way. I know I'm going in for another cycle, but I relate to so much that you're saying. Glad you had a nice holiday and got to enjoy a bit of sunshine.

I haven't joined another cycle thread this time. I think because I have been in denial about putting myself through this again, I might have missed the boat! I have started up a LTTTC journal which I'm going to try and keep up dated this time around. Stalkers very welcome!

Nobump -- hope you're procedure went okay and it's put a stop to the bleeding.

It's been a bit quiet on this thread recently, hope everyone is doing okay

 

[Comfycushions]

I've found your journal and commenced stalking!xx

 

[Jaybo]

Thanks hon

 

[nobump]

CC - A failed cycle takes time to get over, but to be honest I am not sure if you ever truly 'get over' it, you are just able to accept it, but there will always be reminders of the cycle and a sense of loss for what could have been. Think I rue the first cycle more than the 2nd, I think I had more hope with the 1st although I responded better with the 2nd, I feel that was doomed before we started...

Jaybo, good luck with your new cycle, is there not any threads for folk on the 2nd/3rd attempt that you can join? It's no easy when there are folk who are new to the process and hard when you see folk going through a cycle hassle free and it works first time, you are of course pleased but it isn't easy. Will have a look for your journal.

AFM, op went well, but was sore and tired for a few days afterwards, glad I took the rest of the week of work. Had a bit of spotting afterwards, but no heavy bleeding. Not sure when my next cycle will start. We are on holiday a week today so hoping it either comes this week or waits until July. I also had my last counseling session last week, think that the sessions helped, but feel I am coping with things at the moment and we need to decided what our next move is now, not ready to definitely say no more cycles, although I have no enthusiasm for another cycle. We are heading to a fostering information session next weekend, not sure we will go down that route, but interested to find out more. DH is already planning our next holiday in September, so I can see the positives of a child free life, less stress, more free cash and lots of holidays.... what is not to like. Maybe NTNP is the way to go next... maybe now the fibroid is away we may stand more of chance... who knows...

How is everyone else doing?

xx

 

[Jaybo]

Hi Nobump, that's great news that your op went well and you're no longer bleeding as mcuh. Before we signed up for this cycle we were also looking at attending information evenings on fostering/adoption. I think if this cycle doesn't work then we'll have a bit more of a serious look at it as an option. Even if it doesn't turn out to be something you want to consider any further, I think going through the process of looking into all the different options, even just to ruled them out, can be helpful. I'd be really interested to find out how you get on.

I'm going to have a look around if there are cycle threads to join, but I think most people of the May/June cycles are coming to the end of treatment. I know what you mean about it being different the 2nd/3rd time around!

xx

 

[lizzie78]

Hey ladies, sorry I havent been around. It's been too difficult to come on here generally.

Comfy, sounds like you had a rough few weeks. I agree with nobump, i dont think we get over failed cycles, they change us (for good or bad) and are lived with.

Nobump, I am keeping everything crossed that this operation finally makes a difference to your cycles, I guess we will know when you get your next AF. Have a lovely break.

Jaybo - found your diary and signed up as a stalker

Going to say a little hello to my cycle twin Aurora who I don't think is checking the boards as she isnt in a good place right now but sending her lots of love.

Afm, not much to say, I'm finding it hard to move on from the last cycle and really admire those who have already thrown themselves back in.

Will check back again soon and be around a little more

xxx

 

[Nikki of NZ]

Hi ladies,
May I please join your thread, I see a lot of you have been talking for some time but I haven't had much luck finding current threads or starting anything for people that have had failed IVF cycles. It's been a while since I've been on here, as you all know it just gets too hard.
A little about me....
At this stage we have no reason for our infertility as all tests we've had have been "normal" . So the next step is paying for a hysteroscopy which I have booked in for next month and then our 2nd IVF cycle is due to start in August. The basics of what we've been through is in my signature.
I would like to wish you all the best in your journeys, whatever that may bring

 

[lizzie78]

Hi Nikki, of course you can join us

So sorry you having a tough time of things too.
xxx