Why can't our bodies be more predictable?

[bamluby]

Hey, Brittany! I spent 45 minutes writing you back yesterday, and I got logged out for the second time while I was trying to post my message!! I was so frustrated that it didn't post that I almost cried, and I had to get going on my homework Anyway, I just got home not too long ago after a 10 hour day at school. I've been thinking about you all day and hoping you are doing well.

I am SO SO sorry to hear about your test results yesterday. You have every right to be upset. It is so frustrating when you put in every effort possible into this process, and then your body does its own thing. It's also hard not to think about all the emotions of having to do this yet again next cycle. Try to hang on to the feeling that you ARE doing everything you can. I know it is hard to wonder if it will ever happen, but I am really confident that this WILL happen for you. I know it doesn't always help when people say that, especially when they don't understand how hard this process is. But I wouldn't say it if I didn't believe it; I know you well enough to know you won't give up, just like you said, so I keep praying that it will happen sooner than later!!! I wish you didn't have to be going through this right now, and I wish I could give you a big hug!

I am here to support you, and will be there every step of the way! It sounds like you have a great medical team who is willing to work with you on taking the next steps. I am glad you had another follow-up appointment today. How did that go? What are the plans?

Keep hanging in there, and take care of yourself. It is totally understandable to be frustrated and upset right now. Let me know if you need to talk! I have been thinking of you constantly, and I pray this journey gets easier for you!

I wish my other post would have posted yesterday, because I had so much to say, and I said it much more eloquently than I am able to right now....Most importantly, I just want you to know I am thinking of you, and wishing there was something I could do!! keep me posted on how you are doing!!

 

[PrayingMom]

Hey. I am doing well foe the most part swamp with school work, I see you are too as well.
My appt yesterday for the most part went great, he decided to put me on Clomid again 100mg this time. I asked why he said he wanna see if my ovaries will react to it since I had an anovulatory cycle with femara. So we will try that for three cycles then a higher dosage of femara and trigger shot.
We also talked about a fertility clinic and he gave me the option if I wanted to go there. He told me its my choice and but said I don't want you to go because I can do everything they do such as IUI and IVF basically everything they can do he can do as well. He said we have been working so hard together and he doesn't see any reason why I should go. He said ppl go their when their doctors basically get give on them, so that made me feel great. He said I am not giving up on you, so don't give up on me, we have a great track record I got pregnant on my own and once with femara, so it will happen soon. He was very reassuring that we will figure it out together.
So I am stickig with my doctor, he is the best. I am now waiting on AF to show to start around. I will make a video to get in details more. Ill yet you know when I do that.

How are you and DH doing??

 

[bamluby]

Yes, I have definitely been swamped with school. It's been another rough week, but I am still doing well in all my classes thankfully! I am sure you are too- you're always on top of things

I know you didn't really like Clomid because of the symptoms, but maybe a switch really will be a good thing for the time being!! His reasoning makes sense Your doctor sounds amazing. I smiled so big just reading all of that! He sounds great, and he obviously genuinely cares about his patients! I always think it is important when doctors treat you as a unique individual instead of "just another patient". I feel good about him too! I am happy you are staying with him. He sounds confident in helping you through all of this, and it sounds like that has been very reassuring for you!

I am glad to hear some positive things coming out of this. Should AF show up on time even with an anovulatory cycle? I hope she does, so you can get going on your next cycle! I'm glad you are doing alright - I've been thinking about you. All of your hard work is going to pay off, I just know it.

I will keep my eye out for your video. I always like watching them I honestly feel like I just know you!

DH and I are doing well. It is technically my friday, so that means I get to spend some relaxing nights with him! My saga continues though...A nurse from the ER has apparently been trying to get a hold of me all week, because one of my lab tests from the hospital came back as abnormal. I guess we'll see about that. I'm just so ready to move forward from these past few weeks. Everything that has happened has thrown me completely off balance, and I am ready for some positive in my life about now! It's going to get better though. Everything that has happened has been out of my control, and all I can control is how I react. I'm staying optimistic that things will start turning around

I hope you and your DH have gotten to spend some quality time together this week Good things are coming for all of us soon, we deserve it!

 

[PrayingMom]

Yeah my doctor is great. I am very thankful to have a doctor like him he is amazing. I am really hoping that the change is what I need to make me O and get my BFP. Im not sure if AF will show up or not. I wil wait til she due which is the 13th and if not I will take provera to make her come.

I am happy yall geting some time together, this weekend I will have my DH all to myself yayy, we have been super busy. I hadan interview at another school yesterday, I am staying hopefully that I will get the job, I know something good will happen, Ive been getting interviews back to back so I am sure this year will be perfect for us.

Also make sure you get yourself check, if your tests results are abnormal, we don't wanna anything to be wrong or an infecton that can cause more damage. Take care of your self. I understand about things being out of your control and us as humans always wanna control stuff but I have come to realize that God has control of all things. He said its not over until its all good, is it all good? NO!! so its not over yet. I know we have to build our faith and trust in him, he will make it all good. When we get our budles of joy, we will be filled with soo much joy and happiness. I can't wait until that day, I am excited thinking about it.

 

[bamluby]

Yeah, I am really hoping that a little change in medication will be all you need to help you O this cycle! I am feeling positive about it! That's right, you use Provera to help with that! (For a while there I was getting femara and provera confused) I'm learning so much from this site! Haha.

My doctor appointment went well yesterday. I had a lot of anxiety before I went in since it was my first time meeting with her. She was great though, listened thoughtfully to everything I said. She ordered blood work to make sure my thyroid and everything else are in good order for TTC. She said what most doctors say after a miscarriage- to wait until you get another period to start trying again, so it is easier to track. The only thing I am worried about now are my abnormal pap results. It just doesn't make sense, because my pap has always come back normal. We are definitely working to figure out what is going on there. I did more tests, so I should know something on Tuesday or Wednesday. As hard as it is, I am trying not to worry.

I am glad we both get to spend some quality time with our husbands this weekend! It's definitely hard when you're busy! It's been beautiful outside, so we were doing some yard work outdoors (not necessarily "fun", but it's definitely more enjoyable when we do it together). What have you guys been up to?

That is great about your job interviews! I hope you hear some positive news soon! What kind of school positions are you looking at? I am also waiting to hear back from a job too! Even though this year has started out with stress and frustration, I am praying that both of us have tons of positive things coming our way! Good luck with the jobs! Can't wait to hear.

Yes, like you said "It's not over until its all good". That seems to be a good mantra lately! Everything is in divine order. I look forward to the future everyday: babies, a family, stability, happiness, and health. It's going to be wonderful. I need to also remind myself to enjoy the journey and the present though

 

[PrayingMom]

I am sure your test will be fine, I had an abnormal before but they did another test it was fine. You know soap and scented sprays and such can throw your levels off in that area, so don't worry I am sure it's all good.
We have been watching movies, we had a unexpected snow day here in Memphis, Tennessee. That is were I live, do you mind me asking where do y'all live?
I am in hopes I do get the job. Still waiting on an answer. And it is a teaching position at an elementary school. I'm a sucker for kids, I love kids they are amazing to me.

I'm sorry I am jumping subject so much I wanna answer to all your comments.
I do hope this is the change I need for the better, I really don't like clomid at all, my poor DH said oh no babe, lol he knows I'm an emotionally wreck on those pills and the hot flashes. But no complaints anything for our miracle baby.

I agree everything is in divine order. Here is to our future so much to look forward to and keep those positive thoughts and you will begin enjoying the present, I had to learn to stay positive it will take you a long way and push you further.

 

[bamluby]

That makes me feel better! I am praying that everything will be just fine! I've been so stressed about it, but I am hoping it was just a fluke test!

Ohh awesome, Tennessee is beautiful. I've only driven through it a few times, but I really liked it! We always stopped in Nashville on our way from Georgia to Indiana when we drove, but I'm not sure if I've ever been to Memphis. We are living in the Phoenix metropolitan area in Arizona currently while I am in graduate school. Our "home" is in Colorado though- that is where we both basically grew up I have to say, I am not missing the snow this year. It's really nice here in the winter! The summers on the other hand are terrible!

That would be wonderful- I hope you get the job! I'm a sucker for kids too, so I totally understand! I worked at an alternative school with at-risk middle schools for one of my internships. They were the ones who got referred, suspended, or expelled from their original public school. They were definitely difficult, but I STILL loved them! Elementary kids are great though; I bet you are great with them!

Aww well I hope this time around the clomid doesn't have such bad side effects! You won't need it after this next cycle anyway!!

Haha, and sorry it's my fault that we got on to so many subjects!

Woohoo, we are going to keep moving forward together! I love that you have helped me stay grounded and positive! Our dreams are going to come true this year!

 

[PrayingMom]

Oh it has been a joy talking with you I was telling my hubby last night I wish I knew you in person, you are such an awesome sweet person.

How cool we were talking about moving to Arizona in 2012 while he was on his orders. I would love to move out of town. hopefully we get to move sooner or later. Well maybe after I have a baby, I love my doctor too much to leave and start over with some one else. Hahaha thats funny but he is great I must say.

My dreams or I should say my goal is to open my own child development center. I have so many ideas it would be awesome.

I do hope the sides effects will not be bad, I plan to take them before bed, last time I believe I took them around noon. I was gonna start my provera today bc no signs of AF, she is due in 3 days and I am sure she will not come, it makes sense since I didn't O that she won't come. But I am not gonna start provera bc I have a bad cold (terrible dry cough, and a little sore throat) so I wanna wait til I am 100% better, I don't wanna try and be sick, I don't wanna hurt my baby or anything so now my wait begins until i feel better

 

[PrayingMom]

I have an appt today for this terrible cold, I pray that is all this is. So hopefully my PCM will give me something so I can start my provera and get these rolling.

Hope all is well with you today.

 

[PrayingMom]

So I got an antibiotic shot and pills. I was right I am coming down with something. So hopefully I will be better soon.
Still no sign of AF as i thought, so as soon as I am better I will take provera

 

[bamluby]

Oh no, I am so behind! I am so sorry to hear that you haven't been feeling well! We just haven't been able to catch a break lately! There has been a lot of yucky cold/flu bugs going around. I am so sorry that you caught something! I'm glad you went to the doctor to get some antibiotics, and that you are holding off on the provera until you feel better. Booo, being sick is awful! Make sure you get tons of rest and drink plenty of fluids! I hope you heal quickly!

When I haven't been studying, I have been spending way too much time researching and obsessing over those lab results the last few days! I finally heard back, and it was great news!! I'm not as embarrassed to say this now, but what happened was that the ER called me and told me I had gonorrhea (which I know now that I don't!). My DH and I were like- there is NO way. We literally laughed. Luckily, my dad researched STIs/STDs at the CDC throughout his career and was able to counsel me about what to do next, and how even though the tests have good accuracy, he has still seen a lot of error especially in low-risk monogamous couples. DH and I both got tested again before doing any treatment. We have been together since we were 16, so we are each other's only sexual partners! I also knew wholeheartedly that we have always been 100% faithful to each other. I had absolutely no doubt in my mind about that. My first result was a false-positive or lab screw up, because we both got completely negative test results this time around! Anyway, my anxiety is no longer through the roof...it's been a tough wait these last few days. HALLELUJAH! After these past three weeks I am so ready to have some normalcy in my life!

I can't believe how crazy things have been for both of us lately! It's just another hill, but we are strong and will keep going! Some positive things are definitely going to be in our near future; I can feel it!

Aww, I wish I knew you in person too! (I at least get to see you on your videos ). That sounds stalkerish, but I just mean that it makes me feel like I know you even more. You are an incredible person, and it has been so great to connect with you and understand each other's journey. On a different note, the child development center sounds AMAZING! That is incredible. I have every bit of faith that you can make that dream a reality.

I am vowing to be better about getting on here! Now that I have been through the storm, I can get back to my B&B obsession! Although really I mostly just get on this thread. Anyway, take care of yourself and feel better soon! Rest. Rest. Rest.

 

[PrayingMom]

I am happy everything is great with your test results. I bet that was nerve wrecking, that's a terrible mess up on the lab.
I feel like I'm getting worst I just would like to feel better. I've been sleeping and today I took off work to rest. Hopefully I get better haven't did any school work either, just sleeping and DH been taking care of things. I hope I get better soon to start my next round, I'm thinking my body wanted a break so I'll just rest.

I been meaning to do a video but I haven't cause I don't wanna cough my lungs up trying to talk lol.

 

[bamluby]

That is the worst! I am so sorry you have such an awful cold! How are you feeling today? I hope all that sleep and rest has helped you start feeling a million times better! It's good you were able to take off work the other day. I think your body definitely needed a break; it's always strange when our bodies get sick right after we have a lot going on. I hope you feel better soon, and get to start your provera. I've been sending healing thoughts your way!

Yeah, what a terrible mistake to make on a test result like that. The nurse on the phone was rude too, and was telling me that I should be using condoms to prevent pregnancy and STI's. Hello, I'm married! The whole thing was just a mess. Oh well, it's over! I feel so lucky that it didn't cause tension between DH and I; we have a strong relationship and trust each other fully.

Also, Happy Valentine's Day!! I hope you are feeling well enough to be able to enjoy the day with your husband! Do you have any plans?

 

[PrayingMom]

Hey,
I am feeling a little better. I still have that nasty little cough. But for the most part I am able to go to work without feeling to down. That day off was much needed it was crazy because my DH had to work that evening so he was home all day.

I agree what a terrible mistake they made, and I am so happy it didn't cause any problems and yall trust each other. That is great and wonderful that yall relationship is great such a strong couple to have trust, I love seeing young people like us married and making our marriages work.

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY
our plans none really, he has to work tonight but we may go catch a late movie, unless he try to surprise me ( he does things like that). I hope you are having a wonderful day today and enjoy your DH.

 

[bamluby]

Oh good, I am glad you are at least feeling a little better. If only that annoying cough would disappear for you, but at least you are over the worst of it! I'm glad your DH has been taken care of you!

I know, I feel so lucky to have fallen in love so young. It means I get all of those extra years to spend with my best friend. It really is amazing how even though we are all young, we already have marriages that will undoubtedly last a lifetime. I'm sure you feel the same way It's pretty special.

Did you end up going to a movie last night? Even evenings at home together can be wonderful! I think that can be more fun than going out sometimes. We tried to go to a restaurant that my friend recommended, and we didn't realize until we got our check that we were at a different place. Haha. There were two indoor/outdoor restaurants in the same building, so I guess we were on the wrong side. Typical us. Lol. It was still yummy though. That's cute that your DH likes to surprise you! My DH thinks I'm impossible to surprise, so he usually just tells me what's going on. Lol. The one time he surprised me was our engagement, and that wasn't an easy task

Well I'm still hoping you get over that cold here really soon! I'm looking forward to what this next month has to offer you

 

[PrayingMom]

Oh yes I know exactly what you mean, young love the best kind of love on the 25th of this month itll be our two year anniversary, we have been together only 3 years lol we got married pretty fast but Ill do it all over again for the man. Yes we get the extra fun years with our best friends.

We did however stayed in the movies and everywhere was jamed pack, so it was much more nicer at home relaxing. Thats funny that you guys ended up in the wrong place, at least you all got to try something new. As long as you enjoyed yourself that is all that matters.

I can't wait til the cough goes away. Its really strange though I have been extremely tired and sleeping so much, I have been blaming on the pills I am taking but I know that antibotics doesn'tmake you sleeply..??? Well idk. I think I may start provera March 1, that way I am clear of all sickness and back to my daily workouts and back on my vitamins.

I have tons of work to do today since I haven't did any since like weekend bc I was sick. So I gotta get to it gotta test due at midnight and a paper but I got it this class is super easy..

 

[PrayingMom]

Good morning,

I knew something was up with my body, I've been extremely tired and all that but AF came this morning! Oh this is gonna be a rough cycle my back hurts so bad and I'm tired! Well I'm officially confused bc if I didn't O then why would AF show? Ahhhh soo many questions guess Ill research my questions and let you know later what I find. It's too soon so I guess I'll be starting the clomid faster than I thought ughh I'm really dreading this but I'm gonna stay positive!

 

[bamluby]

Good morning! How crazy that AF showed! Maybe that is a good thing though that your body did it on its own? I think it is possible to have AF with an anovulatory cycle, but I don't know for sure. Could it also be possible that your OKPs didn't pick up a positive O, or that it happened earlier or later than expected? That wouldn't make sense either though, because you BDd a ton and would have had good timing. Hmm. I'm so curious now too! I will probably look it up too, but let me know if you find some answers in your research.

On the bright side, you don't have to take provera, and you can just go straight into your next cycle. I am so sorry that you aren't feeling well though. First a cold, and now horrible back pain. I'm so sorry! When in your cycle do you have to start taking the clomid, and for how long? I know you're not looking forward to taking it, but keep looking at all the positive things that are going to happen for you this cycle. CD1- woohoo! I hope by this time next week you are feeling better than ever Hang in there!

 

[bamluby]

Aww that is great that you are going to be celebrating your second anniversary! How special. Young love really is great I literally get so warm inside thinking about it.

Your Valentine's Day sounds lovely. I think a night at home was just what you needed after such a long week of being sick. I'm so glad you got to relax and enjoy each other!

How did your paper and test go? I'm sure it worked out great. I'm the same way where sometimes I will have a ton of stuff to do for school (that I may or may not have procrastinated), but I always get it done

 

[PrayingMom]

I think maybe I O much much later than I think, I started testing CD 5 all the way til I got the progestrone test on CD 22 which was 1.62 meaning no O. So I didn't test again afterwards so I assume I was not going to O. That was a 34 day cycle, I am unsure of it all. But you right at least I don't have to take provera, I start the pills cd 5 -9 so I take them for 5 days. I will test again for O this cycle and I pray this will be it and I don't have to take the pills anymore.
Like you said hopefully this time next week I wil be feeling better. Well as I look at the dates we will be BD the week of our anniversary. YAYYY so that should be tons of fun lol.