Why such a downer on teenage pregnancy?

[oxSarahxo]

Also, can I just ask the working people on here... Who is garaunteed a raise?... Cuz people on benefits are. The ones with jobs at the moment, are actually the unstable ones, cuz you can be sacked tomorrow. (not trying to piss anyone off, but its the god honest truth, my OH has degrees coming outta his backside and the same goes for him).

Thus reaching my point - no one, regardless of what age you are, is completely stable.

Although i agree with the majority of what youve posted throughout this thread i think this is somewhat untrue ...

People who go to work are in a better position than people on benefeits to actually put money away to prepare for any financial unstability that can arise ... whereas someone on benefeits cant do that so easily, irrespective of age.

Yeah, my dad was retired from work due to an accident, and thus he is on benefits as he's now disabled. He's managed to save a LOT just by being sensible. He's been aware that there's a good chance any money will stop in a few years if Labour goes out for example, and he has more in the bank than most people I know. Granted he made sacrifices most people wouldn't want to, like he stayed in and didn't go out anywhere for a couple of years so he could literally bang away all the cash he could. But it proves its still possible to save. He owns everything he has outright, never been in the red. So I don't think he's doing too badly.

You've just gotta live with the cards your dealt and make the most of what you have.

Although I do agree in a sense that it'd be easier for someone to save that was working yes. Dependant upon what money you can earn. Some graft so many hours and only manage to pay bills with their cash now.

Things don't always weigh up on either side of the tracks if you know what I mean, some on benefits are actually better off than some working, some or a lot working are better off than those on benefits.

I think the sense of what is important in a childs life has been lost though, I think the most important thing is having a family that will do whatever they can to keep that child safe and happy is the best form of stability. You see people with next to no money but the happiest kids in the world, you see kids who's parents have MORE than enough cash hating everything.

As long as said Teenage Mum can provide for her child, even if it means doing without herself, then I'm sure she'll be a great Mum. Everyone in the world is born with the ability to love, that's stability. As long as that child knows, at whatever age they reach, Mum or Dad will always be there with open arms, they'll grow up to be a much more secure person I think. I know that when I got older, there were some things that only my Dad could fix, when my heart was broken the only thing that'd make it momentarily better was a hug from my Dad. I hope all the kids of these teenage parents, ours included, can grow up and feel safe in the knowledge their parents did the best they could.

 

[mz_jackie86]

the thing is nowadays especially if ur in a couple you are actually better off on benefits cos in a couple you have to pay for everythin yourself if ur working and u get nothng from the government so you end up with less!
So whn ur on benefits your actually gettin better help than what u wud if u were to work for a living! So either way u loe because nothing comes for free!
It just so happens that becuase a lot of young people are havin children nowadays they r being singled out because they are the easy option, and unfortunately thats just how it is!
As long as ur true to yourself thats all that matters!

 

[oxSarahxo]

Didn't the Egyptians etc usually end up married by the time they were 13 because of shorter life spans? Not advising any 13 year olds to run off and get shacked up by the way. Just saying, over time things change. People say fashion goes in circles, maybe lifestyle is the same lol. ???

 

[BeckyBoo]

If we had another war, no one would mind!

(Sorry, attempting to lighten the mood!)

 

[sparkswillfly]

the thing is nowadays especially if ur in a couple you are actually better off on benefits cos in a couple you have to pay for everythin yourself if ur working and u get nothng from the government so you end up with less!
So whn ur on benefits your actually gettin better help than what u wud if u were to work for a living! So either way u loe because nothing comes for free!
It just so happens that becuase a lot of young people are havin children nowadays they r being singled out because they are the easy option, and unfortunately thats just how it is!
As long as ur true to yourself thats all that matters!

I dont know what benefits you are on but thats completely not true. The state says that you only need £45 a week per adult to live on. I cant see how anyone would be better off on benefits than working doesnt make sense. Even with my partner at uni and me working shitty temp jobs for not much money we are still far better off. Your only better off in the sense that you dont have to go out to work and all your times your own. We always had a short fall in the short time that we were on benefits. We were short atleast £400 a month on rent and basic living costs. It was impossible.

 

[oxSarahxo]

Well, we have one on benefits and one working and we manage to pay our bills etc. I've never tried to live with someone where neither works so can't speak for that.

At the end of the day, evidently some people are happy the way they are, wether it be working, not working, a couple not working, one not working and one working, whatever... So what's it got to do with anyone else?

As said above, no one would care if there was another war... So why such an interest in teen pregnancy and something that is always assumed to be associated with it, benefits?

Does no one think its slightly "nebby" that everyone's having their say about every tom dick and harry's business?

So a teens pregnant, by whatever means, top and bottom of it is, a teenager is pregnant. End of story.

Teens are old enough to go out and fight for our country, so I vote we're old enough to decide for ourselves wether we're fit enough to be parents.

I didn't hear any complaining when my friend was told he had to go out to the front line in the army to be first in line to be shot... Where's all the 30 or 40 year olds doing it? Some would argue the elder people have lived more of their lives... Majority is the younger generation that do it.

Why's this always such a massive issue? lol

 

[sparkswillfly]

No one would care if there was another war? I find that hard to believe

 

[oxSarahxo]

I find it hard to believe that teens can come onto this site to look for help and to feel in a similar situation to someone (someone their own age perhaps), and there's nothing but arguments about it.

Its as if as soon as you mention you're a teen, you're shunned.

I felt perfectly comfortable on the site when I first registered a few weeks ago, now I honestly don't.

I think people have their heads up their backsides with regards how capable we teens are as parents.

 

[sparkswillfly]

have you been reading the same thread as the rest of us? I dont think people have been harsh about teen parents at all, and there are lots of teen parents on here who are proud and doing great jobs with their kids. Its always going to be a difficult subject and people are always going to disagree but thats life. I think the main points made in this thread were
*as long as the baby is well cared for/provided for and in stable family environment then theres obviously no problem
*teens shouldn't really be having kids under 16 as they are still children themselves and shouldnt be having sex anyway
*there are some older parents who arent capable of looking after their kids so its not all about age.
*mistakes happen and some teens obviously deal with their mistakes and take on their responsibility well
*it is easier for older people because they have more life experience and are in a better position financially generally speaking. its just a fact of life.

Somewhere near the end of the thread it turned into a debate about benefits which is always going to be a hot topic and it is always going to cause debate. People just shouldnt see claiming benefits as a lifestyle choice because they are better off that way than having to go out to work like the rest of us mugs. Its a great system that has helped me out twice and I think we should be very grateful that we have an option in hard times. I dont think it should be taken for granted. I really dont know why a war was brought into the thread. "no one would care if there was a war tomorrow" is a very niave attitude to have and completely irrelevant in this thread. You show me a person you wouldnt care if world war three broke out tomorrow and Ill show you the idiot.

 

[oxSarahxo]

have you been reading the same thread as the rest of us? I dont think people have been harsh about teen parents at all, and there are lots of teen parents on here who are proud and doing great jobs with their kids. Its always going to be a difficult subject and people are always going to disagree but thats life. I think the main points made in this thread were
*as long as the baby is well cared for/provided for and in stable family environment then theres obviously no problem
*teens shouldn't really be having kids under 16 as they are still children themselves and shouldnt be having sex anyway
*there are some older parents who arent capable of looking after their kids so its not all about age.
*mistakes happen and some teens obviously deal with their mistakes and take on their responsibility well
*it is easier for older people because they have more life experience and are in a better position financially generally speaking. its just a fact of life.

Somewhere near the end of the thread it turned into a debate about benefits which is always going to be a hot topic and it is always going to cause debate. People just shouldnt see claiming benefits as a lifestyle choice because they are better off that way than having to go out to work like the rest of us mugs. Its a great system that has helped me out twice and I think we should be very grateful that we have an option in hard times. I dont think it should be taken for granted. I really dont know why a war was brought into the thread. "no one would care if there was a war tomorrow" is a very niave attitude to have and completely irrelevant in this thread. You show me a person you wouldnt care if world war three broke out tomorrow and Ill show you the idiot.

The way you word things is like you're talking down to me as if I'm stupid. Its offensive.

I'm not going to carry on posting on this topic, its genuinely got me upset and having a few tears.

I hope no other teens end up feeling a bit down by the whole thing.

 

[sparkswillfly]

I cant see how I could have caused offense as I havent said anything personal or even anything bad about teen parents quite the opposite actually. Sorry if I caused offense it really wasnt my intention. I do stand by my opinions but I wasnt making personal digs at anyone who has posted on the thread I was actually talking from personal experiences within my family (maybe if I had explained this in the first place it wouldnt have come across as offensive). I do think however think that the comment about a war (that wasnt originally made by you) was an irresponsible thing to say and it did piss me off a bit as peoples lifes have been touched by war in different and upsetting ways and I dont think it has a place in a debate about teen pregnancy.

 

[polo_princess]

I find it hard to believe that teens can come onto this site to look for help and to feel in a similar situation to someone (someone their own age perhaps), and there's nothing but arguments about it.

Its as if as soon as you mention you're a teen, you're shunned.

I felt perfectly comfortable on the site when I first registered a few weeks ago, now I honestly don't.

I think people have their heads up their backsides with regards how capable we teens are as parents.

I'm sorry that you feel this way and some of the topics of late have made you feel like that!! There are many many teen girls on here who have seen through their pregnancies on BnB and have received fantastic support and advice from the ladies on here. After all this is the "Teen Pregnancy" section ..

I hope you read Wobbles reply in the other thread and its of some comfort/use to you

 

[mz_jackie86]

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I dont know what benefits you are on but thats completely not true. The state says that you only need £45 a week per adult to live on. I cant see how anyone would be better off on benefits than working doesnt make sense. Even with my partner at uni and me working shitty temp jobs for not much money we are still far better off. Your only better off in the sense that you dont have to go out to work and all your times your own. We always had a short fall in the short time that we were on benefits. We were short atleast £400 a month on rent and basic living costs. It was impossible.

Actually it is true my step brother was workin full time earning about 1300 a month but was payin out all that money on bills and rent and everything bloody else!
Now he lost his job and on benefits they are better off becaue the rent is cheaper bills are bein helped with and council tax etc!

I know so many people in this situation its not worth ur while workin because the council ignore you and help the people who dont work!
Im not saying this is right but thats how it is!
Your much better off this way in more ways than what you have suggested!