wish people would keep opinions 2 themselves..

[Babushka99]

Its so easy to want to force your views on others especially if you feel strongly about something. I suppose it was a learning curve for him as well that you just have to live and let live and not be judgemental and it will just make you a happier person in general.

 

[Aunty E]

I would have done bad, violent things to him. Although we did get chucked out of a pub the other day because we had Imogen with us! We were outside in the garden, and she was ASLEEP in her pushchair and I had ONE FRICKING GLASS OF WINE. But apparently we were being terrible parents. Thank goodness I had my coat on and he couldn't see I was pregnant, or they'd probably have called Social Services.

 

[SIEGAL]

you should see the comments I get when i take a cup of coffee, regular OR EVEN DECAF
maybe he didnt know that an odd drink isn't dangerous - at least in the US its drilled into us how bad it is. Any place that serves alcohol in US must have a huge sign that signs in capital letters .....PREGNANT WOMEN SHOULD NOT DRINK CAN CAUSE SERIOUS BIRTH DEFECTS.....also bartenders are worried they will be civilly liable if they serve a pregnant woman and baby comes out messed up....b/c for example, u can get sued for serving someone and they hurt themselves or others and u should have know they were drunk/dangerous/violent, etc. i dont know how it is where u r

 

[aob1013]

 

[aob1013]

Its so easy to want to force your views on others especially if you feel strongly about something. I suppose it was a learning curve for him as well that you just have to live and let live and not be judgemental and it will just make you a happier person in general.

That is one of the most intelligent and normal things i have ever read on this forum!

 

[Etoille]

I had a glass of white wine on Christmas Eve, and I had one on New Years to celebrate. When I was pregnant with DD Madeline, I did the same thing.

I won't have another glass to myself this pregnancy, but I don't think poorly of anyone that has the odd drink. I suppose it is all up to the situation. Going all out to get smashed while pregnant however, would be a pretty idiotic thing to do on many fronts.

Since clearly you were not doing that, the "Boy" should have held his tongue. I'd almost have responded "NO! I'm not pregnant! How rude of you to suggest such a thing!" and let him be the embarrassed one. lol

 

[xnewxmummyx]

I would have done bad, violent things to him. Although we did get chucked out of a pub the other day because we had Imogen with us! We were outside in the garden, and she was ASLEEP in her pushchair and I had ONE FRICKING GLASS OF WINE. But apparently we were being terrible parents. Thank goodness I had my coat on and he couldn't see I was pregnant, or they'd probably have called Social Services.

oh my word!!! thats awful, sorry u was treated like that hun!!

u should see some of the pubs round here ... FULL OF KIDS! I totally agree with taking kids 2 pub if your going for lunch or just 1 quick social drink whilst shopping, but the people I see are getting pissed up and that I DO NOT agree with!

xxxxx

 

[xnewxmummyx]

you should see the comments I get when i take a cup of coffee, regular OR EVEN DECAF
maybe he didnt know that an odd drink isn't dangerous - at least in the US its drilled into us how bad it is. Any place that serves alcohol in US must have a huge sign that signs in capital letters .....PREGNANT WOMEN SHOULD NOT DRINK CAN CAUSE SERIOUS BIRTH DEFECTS.....also bartenders are worried they will be civilly liable if they serve a pregnant woman and baby comes out messed up....b/c for example, u can get sued for serving someone and they hurt themselves or others and u should have know they were drunk/dangerous/violent, etc. i dont know how it is where u r

oh gosh really? no we dont have anything like that here, its not the law that pregnant women cant drink, its just advised that you dont basically, although some guidelines suggest you can have a small glass of red wine, I think once per week?? I'm not quite sure.

I literally only had, and only do have 1/2 pint glass of the lowest percentage of what my partner is drinking, its never spirits, or anything along those lines. And once I have drank it, I will go onto get slightly tipsy (jk) on ....... ORANGE JUICE ... oh my am I sick of that stuff now lol

xxxx

 

[freja]

That is bad the way you were treated. My friend had a glass of Rose every now and again through her pregnancy and her little girl is fine I haven't had any alcohol through my pregnancy, but I can't stomach the smell of it! lol
I did used to work in a bar though (a few years ago) and we were told that you can refuse to serve a pregnant woman alcohol, if she is buying what you would consider excessive amounts. And I completely understand that, but half a pint! You shouldn't have been treated that way.

 

[SIEGAL]

you should see the comments I get when i take a cup of coffee, regular OR EVEN DECAF
maybe he didnt know that an odd drink isn't dangerous - at least in the US its drilled into us how bad it is. Any place that serves alcohol in US must have a huge sign that signs in capital letters .....PREGNANT WOMEN SHOULD NOT DRINK CAN CAUSE SERIOUS BIRTH DEFECTS.....also bartenders are worried they will be civilly liable if they serve a pregnant woman and baby comes out messed up....b/c for example, u can get sued for serving someone and they hurt themselves or others and u should have know they were drunk/dangerous/violent, etc. i dont know how it is where u r

oh gosh really? no we dont have anything like that here, its not the law that pregnant women cant drink, its just advised that you dont basically, although some guidelines suggest you can have a small glass of red wine, I think once per week?? I'm not quite sure.

I literally only had, and only do have 1/2 pint glass of the lowest percentage of what my partner is drinking, its never spirits, or anything along those lines. And once I have drank it, I will go onto get slightly tipsy (jk) on ....... ORANGE JUICE ... oh my am I sick of that stuff now lol

xxxx

I don't think its the law here either --- I am sure he was just really concerned for you/baby b/c he just didn't know better. Its funny b/c on this forum I see alot of difference between whats kind of OK and what is like a sin to do when your pregnant. Its kinda funny. Like I eat all the raw fish, soft cheeses, runny eggs that I want. But I won't have a drink, drink barely any regular coffee, smoke, nor do I like sitting in smokey places (coming from someone who smoke 9 months ago while getting drunk after i was done studying everynight!). I think its just a cultural thing about what people thing is horrible for pregnant women and what isn't --- I had to stop reading all the "Can i eat this" threads b/c I just ate everything!

 

[lilacmonkey87]

I think we're all in agreement that it is the womans prerogative whether she wants to consume alcohol in pregnancy, but shouldnt staff also have that right of choice in whether they want to be held responsible for serving someone??

There is alot of confusion and views surrounding the subject concerning what women should avoid in pregnancy and there is always going to be those that are "for" drinking in moderation and those that are against it. This barman obviously felt it was inappropriate for him to serve the alcohol and i feel he based the refusal on his duties in serving alcohol responsibly and was only trying to do his job, perhaps he was abit tactless but it would have been highly irresponsible of him to go ahead and serve the alcohol if he thought it was inappropriate - if he had of served you for instance and not bothered with refusal of service and then on leaving the premises you trip and fall - injure yourself for whatever reason and have to be taken to hospital...he is liable because he served you alcohol. Just cause there are no laws in regards to alcohol consumption during pregnancy doesnt mean that barstaff should be made to feel obliged to serve alcohol because some women feel they shouldnt have been refused service.

 

[MrsBandEgglet]

I can see why you would be upset because he didn't handle it very tactfully and basically insulted you by forcing his beliefs on you. However, I do agree that he had courage to say something, and I can see his intent, however misplaced it may be. From my perception of the situation, he made you feel like a bad person in front of other customers, which was wrong of him
During my pregnancy I've had some Guiness, a very small glass of white wine and soda water and about four sips of pink champagne at christmas. Last week I was craving vodka and coke

I do have quite a major caffeine addiction though and it has been soooo hard cutting down again and I swear whenever I go into a coffee shop and order a cappuccino I'm certain I can see the server waiting for the word "decaff" to come out of my mouth I think it's just my own paranoia lol xx

 

[TwilightAgain]

To be honest I admire the guy behind the bar, clearly he was only looking out for the wellbeing of your unborn child. (Not that you weren't) but clearly he has some issues with drinking and pregnancy. I hope he doesn't lose his job, I think he was only doing what he thought was best at the time.

Oh also, I didn't mean to gatecrash your third trimester forum, I tend to flit from forum to forum whether I belong there or not, don't often comment though, no offence meant ladies, just giving my two cents

 

[cowboys angel]

I agree that he was brave to stand up for what he thinks/believes, especially at his place of work. That takes guts. I hope he doesn't lose his job for this, but I also think he needs to attend a 'how to do your job and keep your beliefs WITH TACT AND RESPECT' seminar...

 

[pip holder]

Much as I feel pretty strongly about smoking / drinking in excess in pregnancy I feel that the bar staff acted waaaaay out of line here -

A glass of mild? There is probably more alcohol in the form of ethanol in bloody cough medicine than this. Had you been visibly tipsy or ordering spirits then I may feel differently but I can just imagine how humiliating that must have been for you
My MW told me to drink guiness with my last pregnancy for iron

Where do we draw the line here?
Should he question a fat person buying crisps or nuts next because he feels concerned about their health prospects?

A chain like Wetherspoons would ( I imagine ) have guidelines for staff about the innapproriate serving of alcohol and I certainly wouldn't think that the OP would be in there. Fine - have your beliefs but don't foist them on others in a job where you need to act with politeness and tact.
He should have just gone and quietly spoken to the manager and explained that he wasn't comfortable and asked them to serve you, you shouldn't have know anything about it.

Gah.....

 

[xnewxmummyx]

That is bad the way you were treated. My friend had a glass of Rose every now and again through her pregnancy and her little girl is fine I haven't had any alcohol through my pregnancy, but I can't stomach the smell of it! lol
I did used to work in a bar though (a few years ago) and we were told that you can refuse to serve a pregnant woman alcohol, if she is buying what you would consider excessive amounts. And I completely understand that, but half a pint! You shouldn't have been treated that way.

Yup...half a pint was all and it's not like he cudda have said I was drunk already lol I was sober as a judge and didnt even intend on getting drunk, just wanted a treat

i dont even drink stout, or bitter, pre-pregnancy my usual tipple is wine or strongbow and dash of black, but i would never drink that during pregnancy..
i enjoyed 1/4 glass wine on Xmas day with my meal though...

xxx

 

[xnewxmummyx]

I wish I had said no I wasn't pregnant lol and then he would have hopefully felt bad for being fattist...

oh dear some people.. lol

xxx

 

[Yazz_n_bump]

Thats so out of order!! Sounds like one of them nut jobs.

1/2 a pint is not going to do harm, god sake. Understandabley if you asked for like a triple vodka shot and he refused you but damn 1/2 a pint is NOTHING!

 

[SIEGAL]

I wish I had said no I wasn't pregnant lol and then he would have hopefully felt bad for being fattist...

oh dear some people.. lol

xxx

I once said I had a tumor jokingly.....they looked very perturbed....I guess that wasn't so nice......

 

[Perdita]

My PERSONAL opinion is that you're pregnant for such a short period of time and the evidence for it doing harm/harmless/beneficial is so shaky on all points that not drinking for those few months really isn't a huge problem. But then if you decide to drink than it's a personal choice just as mine is.
As a barman he is entitled to refuse service to anyone for whatever reason but his apporiach was maybe just a little bit over the top! A quiet ' I'm sorry madam, I'm not comfortable serving alcohol to a pregnant woman, I'll just get the manager/bar superviser' would have been a little bit more appropriate!