wish people would keep opinions 2 themselves..

[Justagirlxx]

Why would you risk Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? It's only 9 months of your life with no booze but if you damaged your child she/he will have to pay for that the rest of his life.

 

[Perdita]

Fetal alcohol syndrome is quite rare and tends to be where the mother has been drinking at very high levels especially in the early stages of pregnancy though I have seen children affected by FAS when working in an alcohol de-tox unit and it is heartbreaking to see how damaged these kids are - even worse when you see one woman with 4 FAS affected children. I had to bite my tongue so many times when she blamed other people for her kids condition as they didn't stop her drinking and would also say it wasn't the drink but the fault of people giving her ante-natal care. The urge to take her by the shoulders and shake her for a long time was quite strong!
However that was a result of drinking in excess of 20 units of alcohol a day every single day so can't really be translated to one or two units a week.
Having said that it is just not possible to know where the harm lies with alcohol as unlike with smoking the reearch is ambivalent - however like not eating mould ripened cheese or raw eggs the absolute risk is low or unclear and yet most women just shrug and leave those foods till after pregnancy. And yet when it comes to alcohol a huge fuss is made as though recommending avoiding it is intruding on our human rights! The most heated discussions I've seen on here have been about vaccinations and alcohol - even smoking is less likely to attract such strong opinions!
Not drinking will do you and baby no harm (assuming you're not alcohol dependant when you become pregnant which needs specialist care for both the mother and baby), a few units a week might (even probably) do no harm. Like so many things in life you pays your money and you takes your choice. What I would say is as with all things you choose you also have to accept responsibility for your actions and the consequences of those actions.

 

[xnewxmummyx]

Why would you risk Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? It's only 9 months of your life with no booze but if you damaged your child she/he will have to pay for that the rest of his life.

I am not even going to justify that with an answer I'm afraid..

 

[charlene7828]

Why would you risk Fetal Alcohol Syndrome? It's only 9 months of your life with no booze but if you damaged your child she/he will have to pay for that the rest of his life.

I am not even going to justify that with an answer I'm afraid..

i wont justify it either. "newmummy" was by no means putting her baby in any dange and anyone who wud tink this is very insenstive. there is alot worse pregant women out there are taking and i kno i dont need to b specific on what i mean.

 

[Justagirlxx]

Doctors recommend zero alcohol during pregnancy because they honestly don't know the minimum amount that will adversely affect the baby. Any amount is dangerous.

 

[whoops]

Doctors recommend zero alcohol during pregnancy because they honestly don't know the minimum amount that will adversely affect the baby. Any amount is dangerous.

It depends where you're based, I think.

I haven't drank at all since finding out I was pregnant, but the first doctor I saw (in Scotland) told me that the occasional unit of alcohol was ok.

 

[Sophist]

It hasn't been proven how much or how little alcohol can cause FAS, which is why its recommended here that pregnant women not drink.

I'm sorry you felt like you were treated unfairly. However having worked with FAS kids I wouldn't wish that on anyone, least of all a helpless child who has no choice in the matter. It's just 9 months.

 

[0400772]

i can totally understand where your coming from. although i do think he does have a right to respect his own beliefis, although he could easily have got someone else to serve you instead. Making life comfortable for the two of you.

Sorry you had a bad experience but your right, its your body and your baby, and there are people who do a lot worse to both!!
Glad the manager saw sense and made him give you it! X

 

[UkMum2b]

How embarrassing for you, I would be mortified.

I have chosen to have the odd shandy or sip of wine myself, but I must admit I have stopped in public since I have been obviously pregnant, because I know there are people around who feel they have the right to openly judge pregnant women and I wouldn't be able to stomach any judgemental looks coming my way!

 

[minkymoo]

In short: twat.

I don't drink during pregnancy (other than 5 sips on Christmas Day) but at the end of the day he is paid to deliver a service not preach his beliefs to you. People seem to forget these days that they are paid to do a job and should just do it without getting political and thinking the world revolves around them.

In my line of work I have to deal with paedophiles and murderers and I have to keep my opinions and thoughts to myself because that is what I am paid to do!! I do my job then go rant in a corner somewhere away from the public. Of course, if the guy felt so strongly (which he is entitled to) then he should have politely excused himself and asked someone else to serve you, not made a big deal of it or embarrassed you publicly. He should have handled it in a far more sensitive and professional manner. Shame on him. Who is he; the Stout Police?

 

[xnewxmummyx]

I'm kinda wishing now I hadn't posted this on here because it's only made me feel more guilty

grrrr..

xxx

 

[DelicateAngel]

Hey honey buns I remember seeing this on your fb, the blooming nerve of some people. I had a situation like that a while back in tesco picking up some lagers for the OH he likes one or 2 over the weekend. The old lady (must of been in her late 80's) in the line for the till behind me was tutting and saying to her husband that 'young mums are disgusting, drinking while their carrying'. I turned to her and said 'excuse me love, but number one they aren't for me and number two even if they were mine, i believe it was in the 30' and 40's when women started drinking through their pregnancies making it fashionable, as well as smoking'..... other then being told i was rude she didn't have much more to say xx

 

[minkymoo]

I'm kinda wishing now I hadn't posted this on here because it's only made me feel more guilty

grrrr..

xxx

Don't hun. There will always be people who don't agree with what you do no matter what that be, and other continents/countries have quite different guidelines to ours in terms of alcohol and pregnancy, and therefore tend to feel a bit more passionately about these things.

Guilt won't change anything babe so no point getting upset about it anymore.

At the end of the day he dealt with the matter wholly inappropriately (clearly so, since his manager told him to get you served and apologised to you) and that's what the OP was about.

 

[xnewxmummyx]

I have had numerous scans and bubs is always fine but now am worried somthing mabe wrong cos ppl been talkin bt FAS ... even though I have nowhere near drank 2 excess ... 1/2pt every other weekend, if that!!

thanks for advice and opinions though

xxx

 

[2ndtimeAbz]

I still have the occasional white wine and soda with plenty of soda, if anyone tried to make comments at me I think I would have reacted a similar way! No matter what you do/ don't do in pregnancy there is always someone with an opinion you haven't asked for! Don't worry

 

[MommyMika]

I don't look down upon people who drink *small* amounts in pregnancy, so I'm not judging you at all for having half a pint!!!

I can say though, that if I was in his shoes I would not have served it to a pregnant woman either, even if it meant my getting fired. If someone who is pregnant wants to drink, that's totally fine and I don't judge them - but I won't support them by getting them that drink either.

I would never ever tell someone off or be rude to someone for ordering half a pint. It is COMPLETELY their choice, but I definitely would have politely excused myself and asked a co-worker who was comfortable with the situation to take over the service.

I would rather be fired that find out later the baby ended up having FAS as I was supporting the choice to drink while pregnant. I couldn't live with myself.

If an adult wanted to buy something that was bad for themselves, that's fine. They have made an informed decision. The baby however, is the one who will be affected and can't make the decision, and that's why I would be uncomfortable with serving it.

Please don't think I am judging you because I am not, I am merely saying it would have gone against my conscience to serve the alcohol as well, so I think although the man was rude, he definitely deserves a break.

 

[SIEGAL]

I'm kinda wishing now I hadn't posted this on here because it's only made me feel more guilty

grrrr..

xxx

I don't post certain things on here b/c I know how people get. Its not you.

 

[elaineindc]

Oh my goodness - please do NOT feel guilty! Why? Because someone on a self-righteous (and ill informed) bent asked you why you'd risk FAS??

You posted because you were treated rudely and inappropriately. End of story. You do not need to justify ordering a half pint of alcohol.

People will always comment - particularly it seems, if they have something negative to add. I guess that might just be human nature. I am so disappointed that the FAS line was brought up - it's out of context in this thread and you should ignore it.

Over here in the US, the guidelines are very different from those in Europe. The US guidelines are not better or more correct or safer than elsewhere - they are just different.

I do wish people could be more open minded and less judgemental on this website. I realise I am coming off as a moany old cow, no doubt with some self righteousness thrown in there too, but sometimes I see people being nothing short of bullies in what they write here.

 

[xnewxmummyx]

Oh my goodness - please do NOT feel guilty! Why? Because someone on a self-righteous (and ill informed) bent asked you why you'd risk FAS??

You posted because you were treated rudely and inappropriately. End of story. You do not need to justify ordering a half pint of alcohol.

People will always comment - particularly it seems, if they have something negative to add. I guess that might just be human nature. I am so disappointed that the FAS line was brought up - it's out of context in this thread and you should ignore it.

Over here in the US, the guidelines are very different from those in Europe. The US guidelines are not better or more correct or safer than elsewhere - they are just different.

I do wish people could be more open minded and less judgemental on this website. I realise I am coming off as a moany old cow, no doubt with some self righteousness thrown in there too, but sometimes I see people being nothing short of bullies in what they write here.

Totally 100% agree...

xxx

 

[blondey]

I don't think you should feel guilty either hun. Personally I don't think it was appropiate for someone to bring up FAS in this thread when the main issue you were trying to get off your chest was how you were treated. Which in my opinion was completely wrong. You wouldn't expect to go to a a restaurant and not be served a rare steak, just because we aren't supposed to eat that, nor get a lecture from the checkout lady at Tesco for buying Stilton and so on...

At the end of the day it's your decision to drink what you feel appropiate and I'm sure you have enough common sense to know what is considered more than what is safe. If there is one thing I have learnt throughout the last 9 months it is to do what I feel is right. There is always going to be someone who will have a different opinion as to what is right/wrong but if I listened to every guildline and every opinion I would never leave the house for fear of being judged or damaging my unborn child.

xx