Wishing, wanting, waiting.....TTC for a year PLUS!

[Dee7509]

i meant to say julia i dont know how to make a banner but I would LOVE someone to make us one! that would be so cool.

God just had a depressing thought - it's my 30th birthday at the end of july next year. if i dont get knocked up this cycle, i wont give birth in my 20s. Not that it matters or anything, just in my head i always pictured myself holding my baby at my 30th party. ah well. So long as i get to have a baby at some point in the nearish future, i guess that's all that matters.

xxx

Nice picture. I hope it comes true!

 

[honeybee28]

i meant to say julia i dont know how to make a banner but I would LOVE someone to make us one! that would be so cool.

God just had a depressing thought - it's my 30th birthday at the end of july next year. if i dont get knocked up this cycle, i wont give birth in my 20s. Not that it matters or anything, just in my head i always pictured myself holding my baby at my 30th party. ah well. So long as i get to have a baby at some point in the nearish future, i guess that's all that matters.

xxx

Nice picture. I hope it comes true!

thanks dee. highly unlikely that it will, but I can dream I suppose!!! Still, I guess if I dont get knocked up before christmas, i wont have to make up some rubbish excuse at the office christmas party as to why im not drinking. Gotta count my blessings I guess! Whenever it happens, I'll feel like I've won the lottery. But the sooner the better!xxx

 

[soph77]

Julia, thank you for sharing your story. That is amazing what you have been through and come out of on the other side. You are an inspiration. So many people would have walked away but you saw the good in your dh and fought the battle with him. He is so lucky to have you. I feel so close to you you right now, I wish I could give you a big hug and have a big old ugly cry with you!!!!

Jaimie, I think everyone handles drugs a different way. dh has finally realised that he just cannot be a 'sometimes smoker'. He has tried that and is incapable of doing so. My brother was a huge pothead for a long time but he didn't have too much of a problem cutting back and stopping but back in the day, he and I took a LOT of speed. My brother flipped out and lost it and couldn't cope, whereas I took it like a trooper!!! Hence, my drug addiction. I fell pregnant with Kai at a time when after taking speed every day, I was getting over it and had a break for a few weeks. As soon as a found out, I never touched anything ever again. I always say that Kai saved my live and I truly believe that if he hadn't come along I probably would have wound up in a gutter somewhere.

He actually saved me in 2 ways, my boyfriend didn't want me to have the baby and actually took me to the abortion clinic. I was going to go ahead with it right up until I got in to see the dr and then I thought f*** you! You're not going to make me do something I don't want to do!!! So I walked out, still pregnant and he left me. And leaving me was the best thing he ever did for me!! He was a nasty nasty person and still to this day taking drugs I think, so thank you Kai!! With out you I would either be dead or still with this loser!

We should rename this thread the 'reveal your deepest darkest secrets thread'.

 

[soph77]

I am walking evidence that you can turn your life around. I went back home, reconnected with my family. Had my baby by myself with all the love and support from my family. Moved out and got a nice little townhouse for me and Kai, started going to the gym and got really fit (not anymore, hehe). Started working again, met my lovely husband to be, went to uni (first person in my family to go), graduated and became a teacher! And then got married and now trying for a baby! When I think back over all the things that I have done I am quite amazed and proud of myself

 

[honeybee28]

f*cking hell Soph. I'm lost for words (for a change). I'm so glad you had Kai, and I'm so glad that we have you

god I really want to hang out with you guys, get drunk (inappropriate I know) and have a big snotty ugly cry with you. I love you all so much, I'd be lost without you.

Lucie, we're not always like this, I promise!!!

xxx

 

[honeybee28]

ok now I'm crying. Can you all stop being such an inspiration to me please?! It's making my mascara run.xxxx

 

[Annamumof2]

ok now I'm crying. Can you all stop being such an inspiration to me please?! It's making my mascara run.xxxx

aww hun, big

 

[soph77]

Emily I love you tooooooooooooooooooooooo
But life is good now, except for this little problem with my husband but he will get better and we will move on and be great, he love each other madly and that is all that matters

Maybe we should co-ordinate a mass across the work drink! Where we all at the same time log on to bnb and have a mudshake/beer/vodka/wine or whatever is your poison and drink it up!! I'll be in that, even if I have to get up in the middle of night - just make it a weekend, I value my zzzzz's too much!

 

[soph77]

Oh crap, and now I have to get ready for work. I don't really think I could pull 3 sickies in a row, and I have no flipping idea what I'm going to teach today for maths! I need another holiday!

 

[Jaimie2Eyes]

Wow Soph - that is an incredible story. You've been through so much! I'm unspeakably proud of you for having Kai and letting go of that boyfriend. That took such courage. I know exactly what you are saying about your DH - Eric and I have lots of friends that we used to smoke with but they had to completely cut it out in order to get healthy. Like your DH they couldn't just be sometimes smokers. I hope it isn't too hard for you to get back into the swing of things with school - did you have a head cold or something? I'm just shaking a head cold off myself.

I LOVE the idea of a group drink! We could all meet in a chat room too - through skype or something like that. Then we could do a proper cheers together!!! But yes, we'll really have to figure out the timing with our geographical locations!

 

[honeybee28]

oh gosh soph, go to work!! Hope you think of something to teach them.

I would DEFO be up for a world wide drink! Like soph says, defo on the weekend though. I would be up for the whole chat room thing, though I have noooooo idea how any of that works.

xxxxx

 

[tryforbaby2]

for those of you who have poured your heart out. Hope it makes your load a little lighter to share your worries.


Fortunately for us, DH and I have both led very sheltered lives and have not had to deal with these issues. It is good that your spouses are both working on it and I wish them lots of luck in recovering.

I agree with Honey that it is a good idea to do the SA to know what you are dealing with. I do understand though that things take time and you do need to feel ready when conducting these tests. We are in the unexplained infertility category at the moment and I have really had to prepare myself to do first, blood tests and then HSG and even to try clomid as it is always a big and difficult decision for me.

Edited to add the last two paragraphs.

I think being in the unexplained category stinks. No option or a quick fix to help.....its mysterious.....BLAH! Thats where I am labeled at the moment due to DH not completing his SA before I got pg. Havent called to share the news of the MC at all to the RE and to reschedule and start over again.

It is a difficult decision and only you can make it. I do research on nearly everything before I make decisions.
How ya feeling? What CD are you?

Welcome Lucie!!! I like new people, that understand what we're going through. Sounds like you totally do! How are you today?

Julia...... totally wow....... I nearly cried reading that. You guys are amazing to have fought through that and come out the other side still totally in love. I'm in awe.

Jaimie joo, I hope that whatever you want to happen, happens, with this job. I totally believe everything happens for a reason, so if it doesnt happen, it's for a jolly good reason!

Im sooooo glad im home from work. Got to study though, final exam on monday yikes.

hi everyone else !!

xxxx

My mother in law always tells me that we have been through more in our lives as a couple than most 60 year old couples. I think I struggled so badly because of my crappy childhood, but at least we can learn and grow from our past and give our children the world. At least thats what I do. I am determined to be a great wife and mom and have a HEALTHY family. Thats all I want.
I didnt want to share my story to make anyone feel sorry for me, but to share that things can go crappy and then really really crappy, but if you can be strong, you can get through anything. Example: Infertility/Fertility Issues.
Everything is a life lesson of some sort.

YIKES!!! Final Exam on Monday!! What CD are you today? CD4?

Julia, thank you for sharing your story. That is amazing what you have been through and come out of on the other side. You are an inspiration. So many people would have walked away but you saw the good in your dh and fought the battle with him. He is so lucky to have you. I feel so close to you you right now, I wish I could give you a big hug and have a big old ugly cry with you!!!!

Jaimie, I think everyone handles drugs a different way. dh has finally realised that he just cannot be a 'sometimes smoker'. He has tried that and is incapable of doing so. My brother was a huge pothead for a long time but he didn't have too much of a problem cutting back and stopping but back in the day, he and I took a LOT of speed. My brother flipped out and lost it and couldn't cope, whereas I took it like a trooper!!! Hence, my drug addiction. I fell pregnant with Kai at a time when after taking speed every day, I was getting over it and had a break for a few weeks. As soon as a found out, I never touched anything ever again. I always say that Kai saved my live and I truly believe that if he hadn't come along I probably would have wound up in a gutter somewhere.

He actually saved me in 2 ways, my boyfriend didn't want me to have the baby and actually took me to the abortion clinic. I was going to go ahead with it right up until I got in to see the dr and then I thought f*** you! You're not going to make me do something I don't want to do!!! So I walked out, still pregnant and he left me. And leaving me was the best thing he ever did for me!! He was a nasty nasty person and still to this day taking drugs I think, so thank you Kai!! With out you I would either be dead or still with this loser!

We should rename this thread the 'reveal your deepest darkest secrets thread'.

Oh My Gosh Soph. You are one hell of a strong woman. I feel like we have so much in common, and I agree,we shall have a drink together one night or day at once. Let's pick a day this weekend and a time and figure a time out for everyone to be on here (dont know how to do that) and we will toast each other to LIFE, LOVE, HEALTH, HAPPINESS and BABIES!!!

I also have to say I am very glad you have Kai and that we have you! Hearing how you brought yourself back to life and in such an admirable way, makes me so proud of my husband and all that addiction does to a person and if you are lucky enough to make it through that hell. I am so proud of you Soph.
Also, Jaimie brings up a very good point. I also think its quite beautiful to share some things that have sheltered some of our ttc reasonings and issues and such.

Jaimie, Love you girlfriend! It wasnt until now that I felt confident enough to share some of my past with DH and such.

I am walking evidence that you can turn your life around. I went back home, reconnected with my family. Had my baby by myself with all the love and support from my family. Moved out and got a nice little townhouse for me and Kai, started going to the gym and got really fit (not anymore, hehe). Started working again, met my lovely husband to be, went to uni (first person in my family to go), graduated and became a teacher! And then got married and now trying for a baby! When I think back over all the things that I have done I am quite amazed and proud of myself

You have a million reasons to be proud of yourself! Again, I am very very proud. I feel as if I know you on a much personal level.

f*cking hell Soph. I'm lost for words (for a change). I'm so glad you had Kai, and I'm so glad that we have you

god I really want to hang out with you guys, get drunk (inappropriate I know) and have a big snotty ugly cry with you. I love you all so much, I'd be lost without you.

Lucie, we're not always like this, I promise!!!

xxx

<------
Love you too Em!!!

Lucie, we are not usually like this! We are not, really! I think after a year of time together or nearly a year, we have decided to open up a bit.

Emily I love you tooooooooooooooooooooooo
But life is good now, except for this little problem with my husband but he will get better and we will move on and be great, he love each other madly and that is all that matters

Maybe we should co-ordinate a mass across the work drink! Where we all at the same time log on to bnb and have a mudshake/beer/vodka/wine or whatever is your poison and drink it up!! I'll be in that, even if I have to get up in the middle of night - just make it a weekend, I value my zzzzz's too much!

 

[honeybee28]

I'm just so incredibly proud of you for dealing with everything that you have.
Like Dee, I've had a sheltered life so I'm lucky in that respect but I guess some what lacking in life experience.
Maybe it's taking so long to conceive as this is one of my life lessons, to learn patience, and to learn what it's like to truly want something and not be in control of it. Maybe.

I'm gonna be a bit busy for the next few weekends tbh, but will be free for a drink in November!!!

I'm soooo sleepy, might go to bed soon.

xxx

 

[Lucie73821]

Oh crap, and now I have to get ready for work. I don't really think I could pull 3 sickies in a row, and I have no flipping idea what I'm going to teach today for maths! I need another holiday!

Soph, are you a teacher? I teach second grade.

Ladies, I am amazed at what some of you have had to go through. You are such strong women!

As for me running off with a BFP right away, I wouldn't count on it. I don't think we will have much of a chance until after DH's surgery, and then they say it takes 3 months after that to show improvements in the counts. Plus, I wasn't ovulating before the clomid, so we will have to see if I am put back on it after the operation. So it looks like you are stuck with me for awhile!

 

[honeybee28]

Hey Lucie, you mentioned a problem that your dh has... I've never heard of it before.... what does it mean?
How did soy compare to clomid?

oh Julia, meant to say, yeah I'm cd4.

xxx

 

[Annamumof2]

ugh when your on your 2ww does anyone else get a cold so easy?

 

[Lucie73821]

Hey Lucie, you mentioned a problem that your dh has... I've never heard of it before.... what does it mean?
How did soy compare to clomid?

xxx

Here is how mayoclinic.com defines it. "A varicocele is an enlargement of the veins within the scrotum, the loose bag of skin that holds your testicles. A varicocele is similar to a varicose vein that can occur in your leg.

Varicoceles are a common cause of low sperm production and decreased sperm quality, although not all varicoceles affect sperm production. Varicoceles also can cause testicles to shrink. "

I had never heard of it either, until we went to the urologist.

As for soy vs clomid, I had WAY less side effects on soy. Actually I had zero side effects. I like how it seemed to do the job, all without giving me the "clomid crazies"

 

[honeybee28]

Hey Lucie, you mentioned a problem that your dh has... I've never heard of it before.... what does it mean?
How did soy compare to clomid?

xxx

Here is how mayoclinic.com defines it. "A varicocele is an enlargement of the veins within the scrotum, the loose bag of skin that holds your testicles. A varicocele is similar to a varicose vein that can occur in your leg.

Varicoceles are a common cause of low sperm production and decreased sperm quality, although not all varicoceles affect sperm production. Varicoceles also can cause testicles to shrink. "

I had never heard of it either, until we went to the urologist.

As for soy vs clomid, I had WAY less side effects on soy. Actually I had zero side effects. I like how it seemed to do the job, all without giving me the "clomid crazies"

morning lucie. wow, that doesnt sound fun. and they're gonna operate? How's your dh coping?
awesome, so will you go back to soy? or clomid?

hi everyone else! any news? I'm so sleepy this morning, reaaaalllly dont wanna go to work.xxxx

 

[soph77]

I'm sorry Lucie, I didn't welcome you, WELCOME!
I've been teaching for 2 years and am teaching year 6 at the moment. I just had to fill in my preferences for what grade I would like to teach next year and I put down 3, 4, 5 or 6. I'm not fussy, just happy to have a job!

It doesn't matter where you come from in life, we all have trials and tribulations to overcome and how we deal with them make us who we are. As long as we learn from our experiences there can be good in them, no matter what they are.

I would like to wrap up by saying, we are ALL strong and amazing and brilliant and we are going to rock this thread and rock it right, all the way to the flipping labour ward!

 

[soph77]

oh gosh soph, go to work!! Hope you think of something to teach them.

Don't worry, I found plenty of work for them to do. In fact I found so much, there is heaps left over!! I had one little darling say to me this morning, at 9:10 mind you, 'Miss, why do we have to do so much work? I hate it, it's so boring. That is like, a whole page, and it's harrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd.'

Can you believe it? 20mins in class and already having a whinge! lol

Toughen up Princess!!


Just realised that i am in my 2ww. I have no hpts in the house. Now I am in a quandary (another one of my favourite words), do I jump onto ebay and buy some so I can start obsessing or do I not, and try to forget about it? I mean, if his sperm are all stoned is there any point?