Would you let someone use your babies cot?

[sue_88]

Has anyone also considered the OP might have set her cot up so it's suitable for a BABY?! And not a two year old.

My cot would have to be completely dismantled to make it suitable for a two year old then re-assembled for my baby....not going to happen.

 

[Noo]

Has anyone also considered the OP might have set her cot up so it's suitable for a BABY?! And not a two year old.

My cot would have to be completely dismantled to make it suitable for a two year old then re-assembled for my baby....not going to happen.

Yup - That was my thoughts exactly. My cot is set to the highest base setting and made up for a baby with light blankets etc. A 2 year old would be able to climb right out of it so it'd all need taking apart and putting on the lower setting which would be drilling new holes into my brand new cot when they're not yet needed for my baby and therefore I'd feel it was ruining it as it'd then leave the holes visible when moving it back to baby setting... No chance I'd be prepared to do that when we've spent the time and effort getting it all ready for OUR baby. In my opinion a 2 year old can use a bed, co-sleep or use a travel cot... If they had a problem with it they could stay elsewhere, it'd be no skin off my nose. Harsh, yes but it is how I would feel which people seem to be overlooking when discussing the OP's "first world problems". If one more person comments this on a FB status of mine I'm deleting them - VERY annoying. They may be first world problems but this is the world I/we live in and they are MY problems. If you don't like what you read then don't read/reply/comment.

 

[babyblog]

Depends what cot you have a suppose. My one is very easy to lower, my parents have a cot at theirs and forever lowering it and making it higher between my nephew and my sons stays!

 

[jd83]

What a first world problem this is! Sorry but it just seems a bit petty to me and really should be a non-issue especially where family is concerned.

Thank you for pointing this out! It really is! Sometimes we forget how incredibly spoiled we are, and then you think on less fortunate countries that may not even HAVE a crib, let alone a pack and play.

that is quite rude, just because it's an issue that it doesn't seem important to you doesn't mean that it can't be an important issue for her. You remind me of my mother who was always ill so when us kids were sick it was never as bad as hers so we shouldn't complain.

Same could be said why do you get a car when there are other more less fortunate people in the world who have to walk miles to get anywhere! or why do you argue with your spouse about where to eat out? there are people in the world starving for food and you are complaining about chinese food!! Oh? the meat is going bad in the fridge? how dare you throw it out there are people starving in africa who would die for it!!

She worked hard on being able to provide things for her child and now wants to choose how they are used. I started off my marriage with practically nothing and we decided to wait on having children till we could afford to give them the things they deserve and need in life. So I waited 4 years for all of this. and that is 4 years of dreaming and anticipating and wanting every moment to be special that fueled my ability to wait on this. While everyone else just accidentally got pregnant and winged it. So me, personally, this isn't just a "first world problem" it is something that I've worked hard for and I want every moment that I dreamed about to be just for us and not to share and be clouded by others who got to have their children before me. Everyone else got their experience and the magic isn't there for them or you anymore But no need to try and squash our want of it too.

Not rude at all...simply an opinion. I've worked hard for everything I have too. I too waited to have a child for years so I'm not ignorant to wanting things to be special but, at the same time, it wasn't like she was asked to leave the crib out on the road for strangers to use....her brother wanted to use it for her own nephew for a few nights. Ultimately, she can do whatever her heart desires but if you don't want the opinions of others than don't ask for it on an internet forum.

To be fair, not wanting your 2-year-old to spend a couple of nights in a travel cot or in bed with you is also very much a "first world problem". And to not stay with family because of it, THAT's silly. It's not like there are no alternatives to the cot. I'm sure the op wouldn't deny her nephew the use of the crib if there was no viable alternatives, but there is.

I also agree with this. I can't imagine not going to visit family just because they didn't have the bedding preference I wanted for my kids. I just co-sleep, as mentioned in an earlier post, as I prefer that to a play pen when travelling. But as I said, in reverse situation, it wouldn't bother me if I would have been asked for use of ours if family were coming to visit. Obviously that's a personal thing, as it seems the answers seem pretty divided. Many it would bother, and many it wouldn't. I don't know, obviously we all are bothered by different things and to different levels.

 

[sg2011]

Another option would be for the op's brother to look into a crib rental for the days he is visiting. I did that for my daughter because the travel cot is too uncomfortable and my daughter will not cosleep at all. We have tried and she thinks it is perpetual play time. Perhaps, I should have just posted this suggestion instead of what I said above...would have been more productive and helpful so apologies for seeming snarky.

 

[misslissa]

Hi all, I had no idea I had all these responses as my notifications weren't on!

One poster hit the nail on the head, well lots have actually but the lady who said about it being such a special thing for my son to use his bed first. We spent so much time planning and buying things for his nursery and it's such a special room for us as a family. Fortunately my OH is in complete agreement about it so even if I had allowed it he wouldn't.

I think the issue is that we had a lot of years where we struggled financially (like lots I'm sure) and we couldn't afford much, then it took a long time to conceive too. The bottom line is that it really upset me that my brother was put out but the thought if giving in upset me more. We've got loads of second hand things so I'm no princess about stuff but this is one of the few new things we bought and yes it's special. I want him to be in there first properly. Once he's been sleeping in his room I doubt I'll be as bothered but that's not happening for at least another 3 months.

I'll tell you what upset me too, I actually brought it up in advance of the visit as a just in case. If I hadn't they would have turned up assuming it was ok. That's narked me a lot. I would never ever have assumed that would be ok. I'd never have considered being allowed to put my lo in someone else's new baby's cot. If it was offered great but not assumed.

My brother and wife are pretty well off and never had one second hand thing for their son, nothing - in fact they were quite rude about the notion of it! I think because he's now two they are less precious and have forgotten what they were like.

I was happy for them to put the travel cot up in the nursery and even bought them a mattress to go in it to make it nicer but they still refused to stay and made me feel guilty by saying he's a good boy. Like I don't love my nephew. I tried to explain it wasn't that, it's just that there are reasons. I want my first memory of the cot being used to be of my little boy being in there, secondly you can't anticipate accidents, he might have an accident and dirty the new mattress which would potentially be dangerous but more just upsetting that my new mattress was damaged, thirdly undoing the base and re positioning is actually quite a big task esp for one night. If have to get the cot moved then unscrew it all (take a side off too).

So they didn't stay, I'm annoyed at them. They barely visit, last time was three months ago. I think it gave them an excuse to get away. They came for the day and it was lovely seeing them but actually it made me pleased that I stuck to my guns in a weird way, it felt right. If I'd given in I would have felt crap. They would have got what they wanted and my little boy wouldn't have got what I wanted. It might sound daft but it was a bit like my son wasn't as important as theirs if I'd given in. Like I've said there would have been no way if it was the other way round. I wouldn't have been offended, I wouldn't have asked. I get it.

Sorry bit of a rambly post! I couldn't shake the pit of my stomach feeling and that's what I went with. I've always been a person that struggles with guilt and has been subjugated. I'm refusing to be like that anymore for my sons sake. If it's not sitting right with me I'm not doing it.

I actually think offering his nursery and buying a mattress was pretty reasonable but it still wasn't enough. I couldn't do more without sacrificing something important to my little family.

X

 

[Julesillini8]

You know, you have to just follow your gut when you make decisions. It may be right, it may be wrong, but in the end you have to feel comfortable with it. This is just the first of many instances you will come across. You feel how you feel, so do what you have to do. I personally wouldn't mind the situation with sleeping in the crib, but to each their own.
I guess in a way I'm saying good for you to stick to your guns. As a mother, you have to grow a thick skin and stick up for what you want for your children, as people will always have comments about what you should/shouldn't be doing in regards to raising your child.

 

[special_kala]

Wouldnt bother me. Its just a bed

 

[TTC1983]

I completely understand. I wouldn't let anyone use my lo cot until he had. People may say that is precious but after 2 previous losses I am aware how special my lo is and how lucky we are to finally have him. I want to remember every little thing and it is all so special to us.

 

[TrixieLox]

Whenever I'm undecided about something, I think 'what's best for my LO?' Truth is, my little girl couldn't give a damn who sleeps in her bed as long as it's in a safe, comfortable and clean condition when it comes to her being in it.

What she DOES love, however, is seeing other babies, especially her cousins and friends' babies. I want her to enjoy bonding with her family and friends and learning the importance of these relationships, not material things.

I'm even more of this view having struggled with infertility for the past 5 years. Material things mean even less then they ever did. Relationships and connections with others mean the world. She's so precious to me, I want the very best for her. And I've learnt the best is the joy she'll get from family and friends.

So simple for me: let my nephew stay in her cot if it means she'll get to see and play with her cousin, and see my husband and I connect with our family.

 

[leelee]

It wouldn't bother me. It's just a cot. There is no way I would expect a child to sleep in a travel cot if there is an empty cot in the house.