Would you use a male childminder?

[My_First]

It's a shame that headlines/experiences darken people's perception of men, I think sometimes they get a bit of a rough ride. I would have no problem as long as all checks and qualifications were in order, just as I would a woman.

 

[supertabby]

What is a childminder?

A babysitter

Nanny is a closer description, tbh - pretty sure US and UK both would say babysitter and it could mean a teenager getting paid to watch your kids as a one off while you go on a date etc.

A childminder is a recognised profession in the UK. They care for your child while you are out at work, they do it in their own home and often have two maybe more children. They must be certified and must meet certain levels of care, stringent criminal checks are done and regular inspections by the board who inspect schools and nurseries(kindergartens). It's like a cross between daycare and a nanny really. Definitely not a babysitter or even au pair.

I voted "I wouldn't mind male or female", there are two males at Isobel's nursery and she seems quite attached to one of them. She's also attached to one of the women.

Sexual abuse is very rare, but the media leads us to believe its happening everywhere. Of course we should always be vigilant with our children but its a shame to tar 50% of our population with the same brush because of this. My husband would be afraid of what would happen if he tried to help a lost child, because the world has become so paranoid that perverts are lining the streets waiting to hurt our children. I do agree men are more likely to abuse than women but its not unheard of for women to do it - and for the extremely tiny percentage of our population who are monsters we should be on guard with both sexes relatively speaking if that's the approach.

 

[Green Lady]

I wouldn't mind having a male childminder. Their credentials would be more relevant to me than just their gender. I could understand why people would find it odd, though. We just don't generally associate the care of younger children with men. It's not really their 'role'.

There's a certain amount of risk in leaving your child alone with anyone, be it a childminder, friend or relative. There's no way of knowing what anyone gets up to when you're not there, and not just talking about abuse. They could be feeding our babies chocolate biscuits all day for all we'd know! I'd just use my own judgement based on their references and what I thought of them as a person.

 

[hayz_baby]

I personally think ots a shame tht the world has turned out like this and we instantly assume the worse in men. Tht we instantly think i wudnt because of sexual abuse. And tht all men are judged by this. I wudnt have a problem as long as i am comfortable and the person is reputable. Male or female. Im not jumping on anyone or shootingbthem down but id like to add tht a female got caught working in a nursert. So even by sayin on a nursery no probs.. If u think about it ur children are not safe where ever they go.
My oh wont help a child tht has fallen down thru fear of persecution. He got me to do it. Thts quite sad.

 

[Green Lady]

Sexual abuse is very rare, but the media leads us to believe its happening everywhere. Of course we should always be vigilant with our children but its a shame to tar 50% of our population with the same brush because of this. My husband would be afraid of what would happen if he tried to help a lost child, because the world has become so paranoid that perverts are lining the streets waiting to hurt our children. I do agree men are more likely to abuse than women but its not unheard of for women to do it - and for the extremely tiny percentage of our population who are monsters we should be on guard with both sexes relatively speaking if that's the approach.

I agree with this. Caution is one thing, but seeing potential sex offenders everywhere is another. The other day I was sitting with LO in a crowded fast food restaurant. There were two middle-aged ladies sitting at the table next to us, and LO kept grinning at them and they were cooing over her. I just smiled at it, but one of the women kept going on and on about "stranger danger", like "oh, when you get older your mummy's going to need to teach you about stranger danger!"

It seemed like such an odd thing to say. I really hope I *don't* teach my child to sit with her head down at all times and never make eye contact with anyone on the slight chance they might be out to do her harm! That's a lot different than teaching her not to get into someone's van IMO. Of course I want to do everything I can to protect my child, but I don't want to descend into paranoia either.

 

[staralfur]

It's a shame that headlines/experiences darken people's perception of men, I think sometimes they get a bit of a rough ride. I would have no problem as long as all checks and qualifications were in order, just as I would a woman.

Unfortunately it darkens people's perceptions of people they don't know, too. Most abuse (whether it be sexual, physical, emotional) comes from family members. Not random strangers, not child care providers. Of course that happens as well and everyone should be cautious, but the media leads everyone to believe it's common when in fact it's actually quite rare.

 

[Banshee]

I really wouldn't care what gender my childminder was as long as they have the right qualifications and checks and get on with my children. In fact I think it's quite sad that society's attitude towards men looking after children has caused such a decline in those willing to do so. There is a serious lack of male primary school teachers at the moment in England and I think my boys will need to have good male role models (in addition to their daddy).

 

[Seity]

Yes, I would have no problems male or female. My husband is a full time SAHD while I work and he's an amazingly awesome caregiver.

 

[MummytoSummer]

Yep, I would, as others have said it would be the qualifications, and recommendations that matter to me.

X

 

[Ozzieshunni]

I put I didn't mind.

I would like to clarify a comment made by a PP. Sexual abuse is not committed by people you least suspect. Most cases of sexual abuse are by family members or family friends. In addition, a female is just as likely to sexually abuse a child as a male is.

 

[dizz]

I really wouldn't care what gender my childminder was as long as they have the right qualifications and checks and get on with my children. In fact I think it's quite sad that society's attitude towards men looking after children has caused such a decline in those willing to do so. There is a serious lack of male primary school teachers at the moment in England and I think my boys will need to have good male role models (in addition to their daddy).

My old school was very rare in being pretty much dead on 50/50 male/female teaching staff split (possibly one of the reasons I liked working there so much - I don't do "girlie" conversation well).

I'd have no problem with a male childminder as long as they'd passed all relevant CRB/Ofsted checks and I got on personally with them fine... one of the most amazing Early Years teachers I know is a man - has the most fantastic ability to relate to and inspire his class of kids and really get onto their level and see into their worlds.

 

[oblada18]

i would not mind at all, would be nice actually! my husband is way better with (other ppl's) kids than i am and if we could afford he would surely be a fantastic SAHD for a while whilst id go mad lol
sexual abuse is usually committed by relatives and im not convinced men do it more rly...childminder usually have a few kids of very different ages and sex, hardly a setting for abuse, they probably dont get a min to themselves lol! the last big story was a woman in a nursery i think...anyway its so rare, cant live in constant fear of the improbable!
x

 

[babyjan]

No I wouldn't, I'm uncomfortable with it, like someone else mentioned I wouldn't mind male nursery teachers but alone with just a male childminder I dont know I couldn't.

 

[lozzy21]

If he had his own children and had the right credentials then yes I would consider a male child minder. Your child is more likely to be abused by a family member or family friend than a professional, it's also no more likely to be a male than it is a female.

 

[jenkins]

No, sadly I wouldn't.

The trusting, politically correct part of me says 'yes of course' but the bigger, protective and realistic part of says 'no way'

Tbh I never normally comment on threads like this as I would hate to offend or even worry mums more than we already do. It's just that ther have been quite a few comments in this thread that I disagree with so would like to share my thoughts.

Fortunately I was not sexually abused as a child, however my mum was. It was by a close family friend when she was a very small child. My mum has six children and although she's not perfect she saw to it that none of us where ever in a position that anyone would have the opportunity to abuse us.

I know that many parents say, well I trust that individual/cared/babysitter/family member because of x/y/z. Well the truth is that children who are sexually abused are generally in that position because their abuser is trusted. Pedophiles do not 'look' like pedophiles. They are often family men, married, even have children of their own.

And yes there absolutely are female pedophiles out there too, but males are statistically more likely to sexually abuse children.

For this reason before my lo started nursery I asked them many specific questions on the measures they take to protect children in their care.

The very nature of child sexual abuse means that many children do not tell anyone for many years if at all. And even if they do thy may not report it officially so we can never have a true figure of just how many poor children are sexually abused.

Child abuse does not happen to every child but it is sadly not rare. I cannot post a link at the moment but please google nspcc child sexual abuse statistics for as close to accurate figures we can realistically get. Based on this IMO the media do not talk about it enough.

For all of the reasons above, and also because I know other people irl have been sexually abused there are precautions I take and will take for my Los childhood.

For example, no sleepovers, no involvement with the church eg as an alter boy, basically I will try my upmost to ensure that he is never in a position where another person, be that male or female could groom or sexually abuse him.

And if anyone thinks that means I will not let me see anyone or mix with anyone that's really not the case!

 

[oblada18]

i would question the stats on males v females as abusers - im not sure men are necessarily that much more likely to abuse - it could be that the way the abuse are more 'obvious' or simply gets more reported.
i still think its rare, in the great scheme of things.
perspectives are obviously different when you know someone who has experienced this kind of trauma, just like with anything..

 

[My_First]

Here are the statistics if anyone is interested:

Please note that the do NOT show abuse under the age of 11, and headline statistic of 25% is NOT sexual abuse, it includes domestic abuse/violence etc.

https://www.nspcc.org.uk/Inform/res...ence_of_child_abuse_and_neglect_wda48740.html

Also thought this was more worrying!

"Two thirds (65.9%) of contact sexual abuse experienced by children aged 0-17 was perpetrated by someone aged under 18."

 

[Ozzieshunni]

Poor men. They would never have the discussion about whether or not they would be comfortable with a female caregiver.

 

[jenkins]

Just wanted to add, all of the above I stated is part of the reason why we opted for nursery care rather than a childminder, be they male or female.

 

[iwanababybump]

I put wouldn't mind either way, I would be go off qualifications, gut instinct and how they interacted with my LO

No matter who had my LO I would be very cautious anyway

We have a male worker in our nursery (I work in a nursery with 1-2 year olds) and every child adores him and he is loads better than some of our female workers wish we had more male workers especially ones like him