Would you use a male childminder?

[lau86]

No I wouldn't, sorry. I'm just much more comfertable with a female. I know that's completely my own issue as there's no reason it should be a problem if they have all the right checks and qualifications.

 

[Mamoosca]

I put no... and I feel quite bad putting no because I know MOST men are normal human beings who would never harm a child but i'm not comfortable with it and no it's not based merely on media perception.

 

[Mamoosca]

I don't want to cause an argument here but I just have to say.. just because they pass all checks and have qualifications does not mean that someone is not capable of harming a child. That's just my 2 cents. Please don't jump on me for it, but a piece of paper means nothing.

 

[StranjeGirl]

I put I didn't mind.

I would like to clarify a comment made by a PP. Sexual abuse is not committed by people you least suspect. Most cases of sexual abuse are by family members or family friends. In addition, a female is just as likely to sexually abuse a child as a male is.

In my opinion it is usually committed by someone you least expect, and you are right that it is usually committed by a relative or close friend-but in my opinion I would least expect a relative or close family member to sexually abuse my child, and I believe most people would think they could trust the people closest to them. Most people also thought they could trust priests, but look at what happened there- and again, not all priests are pedophiles.

 

[leigh5tom]

I voted no, just don't feel comfortable with it for some reason. Doesn't sit right with me.

 

[StranjeGirl]

We live in different areas, but where I live California, USA, sexual abuse is a BIG problem. Some posters are saying that it is very rare...here it is not rare. We may not always know about it, but it is not rare. I used to work with abused children, so I have been well trained in it. It is very prevalent in the US and the abuse(sexual) is usually done by a relative, close friend, priest, coach, or any person in a trusting position - teacher, caregiver etc. It is mostly males who are found of sexual abuse. Here in the US we have a website that will let you know if a convicted sexual offender is living in your area. At one of the schools I worked at we had 50 registered sex offenders in a 2 mile radius. Obviously not all were due to sexual abuse of children, but it just goes to show you that sexual offenses are not that uncommon. (and by the way, I live in a very nice town and the school was in a very nice area) I have never worked with a child abused by a female. Here it is much more uncommon. I can't remember the statistics they gave us, but it was like 85% male. Unfortunately I've seen too much to ever trust my child with anyone, especially a male caregiver. It's sad, but if something were to happen I would never forgive myself for not trusting my instincts.

 

[Mamoosca]

We live in different areas, but where I live California, USA, sexual abuse is a BIG problem. Some posters are saying that it is very rare...here it is not rare. We may not always know about it, but it is not rare. I used to work with abused children, so I have been well trained in it. It is very prevalent in the US and the abuse(sexual) is usually done by a relative, close friend, priest, coach, or any person in a trusting position - teacher, caregiver etc. It is mostly males who are found of sexual abuse. Here in the US we have a website that will let you know if a convicted sexual offender is living in your area. At one of the schools I worked at we had 50 registered sex offenders in a 2 mile radius. Obviously not all were due to sexual abuse of children, but it just goes to show you that sexual offenses are not that uncommon. (and by the way, I live in a very nice town and the school was in a very nice area) I have never worked with a child abused by a female. Here it is much more uncommon. I can't remember the statistics they gave us, but it was like 85% male. Unfortunately I've seen too much to ever trust my child with anyone, especially a male caregiver. It's sad, but if something were to happen I would never forgive myself for not trusting my instincts.

I kind of wish we had that system here but, unfortunately, I don't think i'd ever let my child out of my sight or trust anyone ever again.

 

[Mummy Bean]

I find it real sad that the op has asked a quetion about men lookibg after children and instantly everyone has turned to child abuse...and to the point that ppl are debating stats on such a horrible (but yes very real) issue.

As said previously my dad is a nursey worker and come across of lot of women who have had issue with him caring for there child....so much so he wrote his uni dissertation on the subject...and when it cam e down fo it a lot of women were actually more concerned that men simply didnt have that maternal instnict required to look after a child. And i think real evidence of this can be seen in some of the threads posted on bnb in which mums worry about there oh looking after there own child...i hold my hands up and say even i do it...i watch oh with lo and constantly think he not holding him right, or he let him cry bit to long ect ect....no not every one is like this.

I spose a similar sit wud be if u called for a mechanic or plumber and a female turned up due to generations of social construct u assume this to be a male role and instantly doubt if a female cud do the same job. Thankfully these sexist social barriers are being broken down although not fast enough

i really dont think this should be a debat about sexual abuse...which could be very painful topic for ladies reading this.

 

[StranjeGirl]

I find it real sad that the op has asked a quetion about men lookibg after children and instantly everyone has turned to child abuse...and to the point that ppl are debating stats on such a horrible (but yes very real) issue.

As said previously my dad is a nursey worker and come across of lot of women who have had issue with him caring for there child....so much so he wrote his uni dissertation on the subject...and when it cam e down fo it a lot of women were actually more concerned that men simply didnt have that maternal instnict required to look after a child. And i think real evidence of this can be seen in some of the threads posted on bnb in which mums worry about there oh looking after there own child...i hold my hands up and say even i do it...i watch oh with lo and constantly think he not holding him right, or he let him cry bit to long ect ect....no not every one is like this.

I spose a similar sit wud be if u called for a mechanic or plumber and a female turned up due to generations of social construct u assume this to be a male role and instantly doubt if a female cud do the same job. Thankfully these sexist social barriers are being broken down although not fast enough

i really dont think this should be a debat about sexual abuse...which could be very painful topic for ladies reading this.

I see what you are saying, but people wanted to know why some of us voted "no" and that was my reason. For me it has nothing to do with if they are qualified. I would assume someone applying for the position would be qualified and I wouldn't think twice about it. However, my reason for voting no is for fear of abuse. Didn't mean to offend anyone, just being honest on my answer...maybe why many "no" voters didn't add their input.

 

[Courtcourt]

We live in different areas, but where I live California, USA, sexual abuse is a BIG problem. Some posters are saying that it is very rare...here it is not rare. We may not always know about it, but it is not rare. I used to work with abused children, so I have been well trained in it. It is very prevalent in the US and the abuse(sexual) is usually done by a relative, close friend, priest, coach, or any person in a trusting position - teacher, caregiver etc. It is mostly males who are found of sexual abuse. Here in the US we have a website that will let you know if a convicted sexual offender is living in your area. At one of the schools I worked at we had 50 registered sex offenders in a 2 mile radius. Obviously not all were due to sexual abuse of children, but it just goes to show you that sexual offenses are not that uncommon. (and by the way, I live in a very nice town and the school was in a very nice area) I have never worked with a child abused by a female. Here it is much more uncommon. I can't remember the statistics they gave us, but it was like 85% male. Unfortunately I've seen too much to ever trust my child with anyone, especially a male caregiver. It's sad, but if something were to happen I would never forgive myself for not trusting my instincts.

It is a big problem here too, in Texas. You posted almost exactly what i was going to say. I don't work with abused children, but I have a long time friend who does and it's exactly why I put no as well. I would like to add, that one of the things my friend has said on the matter is that even when there is a woman involved, there is many times a male accomplice. Here in Texas, there is a news story on it almost every day. The most recent one, just a day or two ago, the poor 6 year old was given Chlamydia on top of the abuse. Sometimes I wish the law was "an eye for an eye" here. Bah.

I just don't feel comfortable with it, sorry for any men that offends. I'm more worried about my child than I am about being politically correct.

 

[babyjan]

I don't want to cause an argument here but I just have to say.. just because they pass all checks and have qualifications does not mean that someone is not capable of harming a child. That's just my 2 cents. Please don't jump on me for it, but a piece of paper means nothing.

I absolutely agree, people are capable of anything whether they pass checks or not

 

[steph.]

I know some people put that family and friends are more likely to abuse than professionals- and thats true. My sil lets her 3 year old sleep in the same room as my bil (her brother) when her daughter stays over at my mil's house. I love my bil, he's 27, single, fun loving, and works in a children's hospital. Still I would never let Sophia sleep alone in the same room as him.

Its all about minimizing risk, yes abuse doesnt happen everywhere, but it does happen everyday. And even if it was rare, i would still take the same precautions to keep my lo safe. So i will be sending her to nursery instead of getting a child minder. But if i had to I would hire a female childminder instead of a male, because at least in the cases i have come across, men are more likely to sexually abuse.

 

[Brieanna]

There are a lot of people who would not feel comfortable with a male looking after their child and while I understand and think that everyone is entitled to their opinion and should only do what they feel is right for their child I can't help but get a bit upset with gender bias because of personal experience.

My OH went to college got a degree and became a social worker and loved his work, had good hours, good benefits, decent wage etc. but he was laid off because too many females said they were not comfortable with a male caseworker with their children so he didn't have enough cases so they let him go (his boss felt really bad, she was really nice but there wasn't enough work to justify him being there). It is kind of funny because he went to college to HELP abuse victims and now people are afraid he will do something!

Granted we live in a very small town in East Texas and there are a lot of people with very strong opinions about things like this (I am putting it very nicely, lol) but gender bias had a huge impact on my family. The only other job he could find in our area was working at Walmart and even though I am thankful he has a job, they are horrible to him, he hates it, the pay sucks and instead of me staying at home with my LO as long as we had planned I have to go back to work.

Sorry for the mini-rant! Oh, btw, my OH is the best father and is a giant teddy bear, I am the one who kills the spiders in my family.

Like I said, everyone is entitled to their opinion and I would never want someone to do something they were uncomfortable with, but gender bias still makes me a bit upset because of what it has done to our family.

 

[Kaede351]

I put that I don't mind male or female... But I'd like to add that I would HAVE to see their qualifications and CRB first... Male or female.

XxX

 

[Green Lady]

There are a lot of people who would not feel comfortable with a male looking after their child and while I understand and think that everyone is entitled to their opinion and should only do what they feel is right for their child I can't help but get a bit upset with gender bias because of personal experience.

My OH went to college got a degree and became a social worker and loved his work, had good hours, good benefits, decent wage etc. but he was laid off because too many females said they were not comfortable with a male caseworker with their children so he didn't have enough cases so they let him go (his boss felt really bad, she was really nice but there wasn't enough work to justify him being there#. It is kind of funny because he went to college to HELP abuse victims and now people are afraid he will do something!

Granted we live in a very small town in East Texas and there are a lot of people with very strong opinions about things like this #I am putting it very nicely, lol# but gender bias had a huge impact on my family. The only other job he could find in our area was working at Walmart and even though I am thankful he has a job, they are horrible to him, he hates it, the pay sucks and instead of me staying at home with my LO as long as we had planned I have to go back to work.

Sorry for the mini-rant! Oh, btw, my OH is the best father and is a giant teddy bear, I am the one who kills the spiders in my family.

Like I said, everyone is entitled to their opinion and I would never want someone to do something they were uncomfortable with, but gender bias still makes me a bit upset because of what it has done to our family.

I think this is it. Statistically most sexual abuse is commited by males, but that is a long way from saying all men are child molesters. Unfortunately though that's the connection that gets made in people's minds, and the totally innocent men (who make up the vast majority of the population) feel the effects of this. As other people have pointed out, we've almost got the point where men are afraid to interact with children lest someone accuse them of abuse. There are some horrible stories out there and of course everyone should take precautions to protect their children. But the subtle suggestion is that men really can't be trusted. I think that's incredibly sad and will have a negative effect on our children and our society in the long run.

 

[Lauki]

Certainly!!!

If he loves working with kids (like a woman can love working with kids), he's got qualifications and passes his checks.. Then why the hell not?

 

[milf2be]

I don't want to cause an argument here but I just have to say.. just because they pass all checks and have qualifications does not mean that someone is not capable of harming a child. That's just my 2 cents. Please don't jump on me for it, but a piece of paper means nothing.

this is completely true. im training to be a childminder at the moment and im listing my partner (who is a teacher) as my assistant so he can help out in school holidays. my crb (police check) is just out of date (i had it down for my midwifery degree in 2008), BUT oh's is just about still valid so he can use the same one and doesnt need to apply for another one. that;s scary to think that its been nearly 3 years since his last crb check and he could have done anything in his last 3 years and it wouldnt be picked up because he doesnt need to have another one done .

 

[milf2be]

im also quite surprised that quite a few people have been against using childminder because of the fear of sexual abuse.....when i had to choose childcare for my son when i was still at university, i was against a nursery because at the time a few paedaphiles had been found to be working at a few nurseries where i used to live. imo it seemed to slip through the net more in a nursery and people just dont notice, though maybe its just seems worse in nurseries because they are being found out?

i have met a few male childminders on the courses i have done recently. they were both partners of childminders and were working as assistants with them already and wanting to be a fully qualified childminder.

 

[youngwife20]

No way. I would NEVER have a male other than FAMILY changing my daughters nappy etc. Feeding a bottle maybe. But the thought of another man who i dont know well enough touching my daughter to change a nappy makes me feel gross. Im sure they do a great job. But not for me.

People may be offended by the comment that is going to follow Below -:
I know men and female can be Pedos I am aware of that but I dont like other men around my daughter who I dont know. In my mind I am trying to protect her. But its not just men I am trying to avoid childcare till she can talk - that includes men and women.. it may not work that way obvs. Xx

 

[aliss]

I'm quite cynical but I firmly believe that police background checks are useless as the majority of sex offenders do not have criminal records.