+ WTT baby number 1 +

[MackMomma8]

Speaking of younger WTT'ers, was anyone like me and didn't even want kids before? If you had asked me 3 years ago if I wanted to be a mom, the answer would have been a very adamant no! It really wasn't until I married DH and we started getting more and more settled that it's become such a strong desire for me. I want to give LO all the things I never had (stability highest on the list!), and more than anything can't wait to share the experience of raising a LO with DH. I just know he's going to make such a wonderful daddy, and my heart is going to meltttt the first time he holds OUR son or daughter...

Girl, you just pinned me to a 'T'!!! If you had asked me when I wanted kids up to about 3 years ago (when DH and I started dating ) I would have laughed in your face! I totally DID NOT want children until I started dating DH, and then the possibility of it didn't seem so improbable. Once we got married I got a little bit of the bug, but I think that was just post-wedding boredom. After our 1 year anniversary, though.. it was on! I had the fever like crazy! I also had a very unstable childhood, and now that I have a wonderful, loving, stable marriage, I want to share that with a LO. I can't wait to see the look on his face when I tell him I'm pregnant!!

 

[odd_socks]

Speaking of younger WTT'ers, was anyone like me and didn't even want kids before? If you had asked me 3 years ago if I wanted to be a mom, the answer would have been a very adamant no! It really wasn't until I married DH and we started getting more and more settled that it's become such a strong desire for me. I want to give LO all the things I never had (stability highest on the list!), and more than anything can't wait to share the experience of raising a LO with DH. I just know he's going to make such a wonderful daddy, and my heart is going to meltttt the first time he holds OUR son or daughter...

i feel exactly the same about my OH too, i know when i see him holding our baby i'll be in tears

 

[odd_socks]

super broody day

 

[babyb54]

super broody day

Same. :/ Been a tough couple days, and I'm out of ideas on how to cope. :/ DH can tell something's up, and I'm sure he can guess what, so he's mostly just ignoring me, lol. Just makes me feel more alone.

 

[odd_socks]

i know how u feel chick, my OH is the same he knows whats up but ignoring it

 

[vicki.mummy]

can I please join in?
We have 2 fosters sons (my nephews - we are signing for parental rights/residency soon); but we are going to be TTC #1 in about 3 months time - I am a little nervous, we haven't done the baby stage and it's freaking me out a little.

 

[MrsGruffalo]

I'm a WTT for Baby #1 too...

I'm worried about timing, and how things will work financially during Maternity Leave (I'm the higher earner of me and my DH)

 

[chachacha]

I'm a WTT for Baby #1 too...

I'm worried about timing, and how things will work financially during Maternity Leave (I'm the higher earner of me and my DH)

The new laws about splitting maternity leave are in force. Are you sure DH wouldn't like to be a househusband for a few months?

 

[babyb54]

can I please join in?
We have 2 fosters sons (my nephews - we are signing for parental rights/residency soon); but we are going to be TTC #1 in about 3 months time - I am a little nervous, we haven't done the baby stage and it's freaking me out a little.

Welcome! What a wonderful thing you've done to take in your nephews as your own.. At least you're ahead of the rest of us WTT#1'ers and already know you'll make great parents.

I'm a WTT for Baby #1 too...

I'm worried about timing, and how things will work financially during Maternity Leave (I'm the higher earner of me and my DH)

I'm a WTT for Baby #1 too...

I'm worried about timing, and how things will work financially during Maternity Leave (I'm the higher earner of me and my DH)

The new laws about splitting maternity leave are in force. Are you sure DH wouldn't like to be a househusband for a few months?

My DH and I are going to do a hybrid of this! I'll stay at home for the first few months, but then DH is going to for a bit. Our maternity/paternity leave is only paid if we have leave (vacation/sick, etc) to cover it, so after I've used mine, he's going to start in on his. This will let one of us be at home with LO for the first 6 months-ish. When I first posed it to DH I expected him to push against the idea, but he was actually pretty excited at the thought of it. Maybe your DH would be too?

 

[MrsGruffalo]

I suggested it might be the way forward (me at home definitely till 6 months), and he was all for it, but I don't know how it works with pay. I thought he wouldn't get paid if he took the leave, where as I would get something?

I have to admit, maternity/paternity leave and pay confuse me! And it seems to be changing all the time...

 

[chachacha]

Found a news item which explains the new rules: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-12949382

Additional paternity leave (APL) will allow an employee to take up to 26 weeks' leave to care for the child, on top of two weeks of ordinary paternity leave.

This can only be taken 20 or more weeks after the child's birth or placement for adoption, and once the mother has returned to work from statutory maternity or adoption leave or ended her entitlement.

The rate is £128.73 a week, or 90% of average weekly earnings if that is less.

To qualify, the father must have been on a continuous contract with his employer for at least 26 weeks by the end of the 15th week before the baby is due.

So I guess you would take the first 6 months, and when you've returned to work you can swap over. The details of your maternity leave entitlement should be in your contract.

 

[MrsGruffalo]

Found a news item which explains the new rules.

Additional paternity leave (APL) will allow an employee to take up to 26 weeks' leave to care for the child, on top of two weeks of ordinary paternity leave.

This can only be taken 20 or more weeks after the child's birth or placement for adoption, and once the mother has returned to work from statutory maternity or adoption leave or ended her entitlement.

The rate is £128.73 a week, or 90% of average weekly earnings if that is less.

To qualify, the father must have been on a continuous contract with his employer for at least 26 weeks by the end of the 15th week before the baby is due.

So I guess you would take the first 6 months, and when you've returned to work you can swap over. The details of your maternity leave entitlement should be in your contract.

Thank you! That is very helpful!

 

[MackMomma8]

Found a news item which explains the new rules: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/business-12949382

Additional paternity leave (APL) will allow an employee to take up to 26 weeks' leave to care for the child, on top of two weeks of ordinary paternity leave.

This can only be taken 20 or more weeks after the child's birth or placement for adoption, and once the mother has returned to work from statutory maternity or adoption leave or ended her entitlement.

The rate is £128.73 a week, or 90% of average weekly earnings if that is less.

To qualify, the father must have been on a continuous contract with his employer for at least 26 weeks by the end of the 15th week before the baby is due.

So I guess you would take the first 6 months, and when you've returned to work you can swap over. The details of your maternity leave entitlement should be in your contract.

Paternity leave??? REALLY?? That's absolutely UNHEARD of here in the US. Moms don't even get mandatory maternity leave! You either pay for short-term disablity insurance and get anywhere from 40%-60% of your normal weekly pay when you go on mat leave, or you have to take you vacation (if you're lucky enough to get paid vacation days!) or just take time off without pay, or a combination of all of the above! Dads get no time off whatsoever - maybe the first day or two and then it's right back to work.

Here's an idea: I have one of the best medical insurance packages money can buy. Our insurance agents are even jealous of our package! It covers 80% of all prenatal/labor and delivery costs, with a $500 out-of-pocket maximum, then it covers 100% (confusing, I know). I pay extra every week for my short-term disability, which will pay me 60% of my weekly take-home pay for up to 12 weeks. Most moms here take about 8-10 weeks of maternity leave.

Sigh... when will my government get it together and start providing for it's citizens the way it should?

 

[anniepie]

I'm loving the idea of this APL...

My thoughts for us around it are...I take 6months mat leave, then hand over to OH for APL while I go back to work for my mandatory 3 months post mat leave (so that I qualify for my full mat leave pay from work, rather than just SMP), then I quit my job and make a go of my business...this of course is finances depending, but going by how well I've saved so far, this won't be a problem in a year or so's time

 

[babyb54]

Yah I gotta say, US is seriously lacking...I'm jealous of you in the UK and elsewhere! The only maternity leave rights we're entitled to is granted under the "Family Medical Leave Act" and all that gives us is 12 weeks unpaid where our employers are required to hold our position. :/ - that does extend to fathers too, but still...rather pathetic showing from the US.

 

[anniepie]

Oh, that sucks big time! We are very lucky here with that. The Additional Paternity leave is only just being brought in, so will be interested to see how companies take it up...

We're also lucky that we don't have to fork out for the health care...

 

[babyb54]

Although, is that £128.73/wk what they constitute as paid? lol.. That would only be about 30% of my DH's or my net pay.. Which of course is better than what the US offers but certainly wouldn't make the decision of having one of us forgo our normal income an easier one!

 

[babyb54]

We're also lucky that we don't have to fork out for the health care...

That's lucky for sure. I'm one of the fortunate here in the US to have insurance, but when we're closer to TTC I'll still have to shop around and compare maternity benefits to see if I should switch before we get pregnant.. Even with insurance delivery can cost thousands out of pocket. It'd be nice to not have to worry about that on top of everything else!

 

[MackMomma8]

We're also lucky that we don't have to fork out for the health care...

That's lucky for sure. I'm one of the fortunate here in the US to have insurance, but when we're closer to TTC I'll still have to shop around and compare maternity benefits to see if I should switch before we get pregnant.. Even with insurance delivery can cost thousands out of pocket. It'd be nice to not have to worry about that on top of everything else!

Not to mention that pregnancy is considered a "pre-existing condition" by insurance companies here... as in, if you start an insurance policy after you concieve, then NONE of your prenatal care is covered. I've heard horror stories about moms switching their insurance just before they got pregnant, and then the insurance companies coming back after them for prenatal care that "shouldn't have been covered" because they figued the conception date differently than the doctor did! It's such a mess here.

 

[babyb54]

We're also lucky that we don't have to fork out for the health care...

That's lucky for sure. I'm one of the fortunate here in the US to have insurance, but when we're closer to TTC I'll still have to shop around and compare maternity benefits to see if I should switch before we get pregnant.. Even with insurance delivery can cost thousands out of pocket. It'd be nice to not have to worry about that on top of everything else!

Not to mention that pregnancy is considered a "pre-existing condition" by insurance companies here... as in, if you start an insurance policy after you concieve, then NONE of your prenatal care is covered. I've heard horror stories about moms switching their insurance just before they got pregnant, and then the insurance companies coming back after them for prenatal care that "shouldn't have been covered" because they figued the conception date differently than the doctor did! It's such a mess here.

Yep! It's awful. Likewise, if you get pregnant unexpectedly and without insurance, it's already too late to get coverage. Terrible!