Young and WTT?

[Serene123]

Do you worry what family will think when you are TTC/pregnant?

Obviously I already have Caitlyn and I won't be having another one untill I am settled in my own home and sure that my relationship is stable enough, but I worry that because I'm so young, even though I already have Caitlyn, people will still be disappointed if I don't wait untill I'm older/married?

I know my Mum won't be disappointed. She knows I want my babies close together and she can't wait to be a Nana again, but I worry about my Nana and Grandad, and my brother. I think those 3 will be disappointed again. I would hate to feel like I disappointed people again.

I suppose the most important thing is that I'm smart about it, wait untill it's the right time for me, and their disappointment shouldn't matter? But it does matter. I hated feeling like I had disappointed everyone when I told them about being pregnant in the first place.

The only person that said "congratulations" to me without saying "you're not going to keep it are you?" first, was my SIL.

 

[Nyx]

I think that if they really care about you then it shouldn't matter. You shouldn't feel like you need to work around them rather than doing it the way you want to. Your Nana and Grandad are from a different generation so it's probably harder for them to accept it because I suppose people were older in their day when they had children. If they feel disappointed at first, I'm sure they'll come round because they'll want you to be happy and it's your life.

 

[Serene123]

My nan was 19 when my uncle was born! But they were married..

 

[Nyx]

Oh, well then I wouldn't have thought they would have a problem then! As long as you're in love then marriage isn't everything - especially when it can cost a lot these days so waiting is usually easier to save up for your big day.
I don't worry that much about telling my dad, I think when the time comes he will just accept it because it's my choice. One of my step sisters got pregnant at uni and had to leave and one of my other step sister's had her frist at 19 so I don't think my dad/ step mum would be disappointed.

 

[jen1604]

I know 100% that my mum will be dissapointed.She hates children and babies and all of hers were 'accidents' and was sooooooo angry when I got preganant and is still bitter about it.
My dad will be happy,he loves babies and sees how happy Ophelia makes me.
My OH's family are already nagging me to have the next one so they'll be fine.
I honestly dont care what people think about it and I dont think you should either Toria (although I know you probably cant help it).You're a great mum and doing everything you can to do your relationship back on track to make sure your home life is all good before you bring the next baby into it. xx

 

[toffee87]

At first I was worried. Now I think as long as we can afford a baby and are stable in all aspects of our lives then if they're negative about it, so be it. If they care, they'll come round

 

[sleepinbeauty]

As of this summer, we'll have our own place. They'd be happy. Some would push for us to get married, but we want to in the future anyway at this point...

 

[Pingu]

I do worry a little bit and I am 23 but am moving in with OH in few months time so am sure those worries will then go! x

 

[Drazic<3]

I was worried, but now I honestly don't care. Nothing I ever do is right in my mums eyes, ever. My stepdad will support me and OH's mum will be alright. At the end of the day, it's your life - live it for you.

 

[~KACI~]

I think i would worry if i got pregnant soon of how they would react, no-one would be devastated but i think they just prefer i wait till my 2 are abit older, but if i can pregnant when i plan too there won't be a problem as they have already been fore warned!!!
Plenty of time to get used to the idea.

any way my dad wants a football team, he already has eight!! And 2 of his 5 kids haven't even had kids yet!l lol

 

[nightkd]

I worry, mostly about the awkwardness though. Because the people that will be disappointed are the people I don't feel close enough to to say "I don't care what you think, it's my decision" without them taking it the wrong way.

Meh, I've always wanted my independance and if anyone feels it's their place to judge my choices, I'll just ignore them and carry on with my life.

Worry about work, but that might just be because I've only been there a few months so if I was pregnant now it would be real awkward and I'd feel like I'd let them down. When we do start TTCing I should've been there a fair bit longer anyway, so it shouldn't matter too much.

xx

 

[Rachiebaby24]

you should try not to be bothered...i know its easier said than done though...anyway...its not just about you...i think it will be nice for Caitlyn to have a playmate

 

[~mommy~]

I think waiting until your relationship is settled, you are in your own place and finances are good, then it shouldn't matter what other people think

 

[Pixxie]

I worry about my what my family will think, but not my OH's. Hes 24 and im 18 so he will get away with it so to speak... my family on the other hand cannot drop enough hints about me not having a baby my mum is constantly saying anything I do is ok because im not making her a grandma...and my dad has point blank told people in front of me that im never going to have any kids . My nana on my mums side will disown me, like she did when my mum got pregnant with me...

I see major family disruptions when I get preggers :/

 

[oOKayOo]

I could see family getting disapointed if you were still living at your mums , and they knew your relationship was rocky , but since you said that you will wait until these are sorted i dont see why they would feel in anyway disapointed!

 

[Serene123]

I worry about my what my family will think, but not my OH's. Hes 24 and im 18 so he will get away with it so to speak... my family on the other hand cannot drop enough hints about me not having a baby my mum is constantly saying anything I do is ok because im not making her a grandma...and my dad has point blank told people in front of me that im never going to have any kids . My nana on my mums side will disown me, like she did when my mum got pregnant with me...

I see major family disruptions when I get preggers :/

Me and my OH have exactly the same age gap! I'm 19, he's 25. His family were over the moon, mine were shocked and disappointed. And he was the one that didn't want her! Soooooo not fair!

 

[Serene123]

Thanks girls. Hopefully they won't be.. If it even happens! Life could go anywhere I guess. Fingers crossed it goes the way we want it to.

 

[Webbykinskt]

If it happened now, my mom would be happy (she was my age when she got pregnant with the baby before me, unfortunatly was a stillborn so hence why i'm here), my dad would disown me (not that I see him much anyway). OH's parents wouldn't be happy at first but I think they'd be okay after a while to get used to it.

Hopefully it will all just work out to plan if we have an 'accident' lol

 

[ampersandme]

I'm very worried honestly. I try not to be, but I think it really is what is holding me back
My Dad would stress out and worry about me, my Grandparents would have a fit... My brother too.
I know they would come around, but I've constantly been disapointing them my whole life, I'd almost feel like I was what they expected.

My OHs family would be wrapped though.

 

[ampersandme]

Also another note, I think its wrong to claim your child as an accident if it was planned, you should live up to your decisions and be responsible.. I dont know, it might just be me. I'm sure it would save alot of trouble in some families, but at the same time, if you make that choice, I believe its important to show your maturity and its kind of unfair on people who have actually had an accident.

Argh, hope that made sense. Not having a go at anyone at all either just giving my two cents haha (although they probably made noooooo sense)