Your thoughts on nursery?

[xUniquex]

Wow, you're lovely

My point is that you've made a massively sweeping statement that you have not bothered to explain, something which can never be tested, knowing it would be offending to a great deal of people. To be honest, it comes across as someone who is incredibly naive about the realities of life and a complexities of a parent / child relationship. It's like saying that those who ff don't have as close a bond as those who bf or that those who use prams don't bond as well as those who babywear - just ridiculous.

and that is your opinion!

sweeping statement or not i was giving mine!

i don't feel the need to explain everything i say in great depth in order to avoid upsetting the proverbial apple cart!

there is no need to insinuate that i am naive when it comes to realities of life and the depths of parent and child relationships,that's a total assumption seeing as you have no idea of my life experiences,who i am etc.

I did not say that parents with children in nursery have worse relationships than SAHM's and their children,i simply stated i THINK it can hinder a parent/child relationship,not DAMAGE!

i guess it depends on what type of parent you are .. we AP so it's OBVIOUS that we would see childcare as an interference to our parenting method /bond because our parenting methods are all about the child having the same primary caregiver for the first few years.. hence my original statement!

I'm not a fence sitter and i'm not afraid to say what i think and i refuse to apologise for that!

 

[leelee]

Well my opinion (since we are all allowed to have one) is that if a bond is hindered by a child going to nursery/childminder then it must be a very weak bond to start with.

 

[OmarsMum]

It's very common here to enroll LOs in a nursery at the age of 18 months even if the mum is not working & have house help. I was thinking about it & posted sth similar in the toddlers forum. My concern was interacting with other kids his age as Omar only sees & interacts with adults. I dont think I will enrol him in a nursery before he's 2.5 years as we'r taking him to play areas & he's learning a lot at home, so he doesnt really need to go to a nursery before he's 2.5-3 years & only for few hours per week.

 

[kissikiss]

My son started going to nursery 2 days a week and to his grandparents one day a week when he was just 3 months old (necessary, I'm a full time university student and my husband works full time)

When I finish uni this summer, we still plan on keeping him in nursery one day a week.

I guess, how we see it, is that he gets to make friends and interact with all of the other children and nursery nurses (and bring home all of their viruses lol). We think it's best for our child (don't want to get involved with above argument) that he learn mom and dad aren't ALWAYS around, but we always come back. Hmm that sounds a bit strange reading it back, hope my point is coming across. I guess I'm hoping to avoid serious seperation anxiety issues. I don't really know if it's relevant, but he's slept in his own room since 2 weeks old (right next door, with the doors open). He doesn't cry when we leave the room, and when we come back, it's big smiles for us Not saying it works for everyone, but it's what is best for us xx

Plus - I'm a first time mom, with no blood nieces or nephews. None of my 3 siblings have children, by choice. I'll admit, I have a lot to learn about being a good parent. (I had to have the midwives show me how to change a nappy, lol). But I get great ideas from the nursery nurses! They send home pictures and paintings and little books saying what the children did throughout the day. They give me ideas about what I can do with my son, ideas about foods, ideas about sensory boxes (I never would have come up with that in a million years!) So yeah - nursery isn't only good for my son, it's good for my husband and I as well x

 

[Szaffi]

My daughter started daycare at 9 months old as I had to come back to work. It's pretty common here to start as early as 4 month, since maternity leave is only 15 weeks.

I was very worried, as in my home counrty mothers can stay home for 3 years and most do. So I got a lot of dissing that DD will suffer from starting nursery, it really made me feel like a bad motrher.

However, it turned out to be a success, she truly seems to enjoy going, she's only 14 mnoths old, but already seems to be playing along other kids easily. It's a small daycare (with about 14 kids altogether split in 2 groups) and it feels like a big family. We have no family here, just OH and me and not too many friends either, so even if we could afford to stay home, I'd probably opt for nursery as both me and LO would be very isolated and would have to run around trying to find toddler groups and such to mix.

Now, this is just to illustrate that in certain life-situations nursery is a really good choice. I don't feel now bad about it at all, and I don't think LO is less attached to me and OH than the kids of SAHM.

 

[xUniquex]

Well my opinion (since we are all allowed to have one) is that if a bond is hindered by a child going to nursery/childminder then it must be a very weak bond to start with.

i guess that means me and my OH have weak bonds with our children then!


I find it very amusing that my general opinion is countered with a disguised personal attack..

Now i COULD have said that i find it offensive that others say children who go to nursery/childcare benefit from it and are more outgoing etc because my kids don't go so they are SURELY suggesting i am not doing what is best for my children!

absolutely pathetic !

Dislike me for my opinion all you like ... it won't change it!

To OP i am sorry that my opinion has upset your thread!I will refrain from posting here any more as i don't generally feed trolls

Do what YOU feel is best for you and your child!Everyone is different and chooses what they do for different reasons!

 

[leelee]

Well my opinion (since we are all allowed to have one) is that if a bond is hindered by a child going to nursery/childminder then it must be a very weak bond to start with.

i guess that means me and my OH have weak bonds with our children then!


I find it very amusing that my general opinion is countered with a disguised personal attack..

Now i COULD have said that i find it offensive that others say children who go to nursery/childcare benefit from it and are more outgoing etc because my kids don't go so they are SURELY suggesting i am not doing what is best for my children!

absolutely pathetic !

Dislike me for my opinion all you like ... it won't change it!

To OP i am sorry that my opinion has upset your thread!I will refrain from posting here any more as i don't generally feed trolls

Do what YOU feel is best for you and your child!Everyone is different and chooses what they do for different reasons!

I find it amusing that you are claiming to be personally attacked, yet when others said they were offended by what you said you told them to 'suck it up'.

As you said, it is a public forum so we can say what we like. I just happened to comment that I think your train of thought is ludicrous if you think the bond a child has with its mother will be hindered by them attending nursery.

 

[RJsMum]

So, back on the topic...

I think had I not been a teacher I might be more apt to consider nursery (if my schedule allowed it) for DS, but due to all my education about child development and experience in lesson planning for infants up to age 10...I'd say I'll be okay for the time being arranging activities at home for him. It really isn't that hard and to me, anyone that puts housework above purposefully interacting with their child (within reason, of course), needs to re-evaluate some priorities.

 

[~RedLily~]

I wont be sending LO to nursery. My plan is to go to parent and baby groups while she is a baby/toddler so she's interacting with others but I'm still there and then the year before school she will go to nursery/playgroup for a couple of hours a week without me to get her prepared for school.
I've been told I am depriving her and that she is suffering for this decision but I guess it's just a matter of opinion

 

[KittyKatx]

i really dont see the point in having kids if your just planning to send them off to daycare all the time. sometimes its unavoidable but i did my work experience at a daycare and their were little babies there from 8am til 6pm. whats the point in having a kid?

 

[leelee]

i really dont see the point in having kids if your just planning to send them off to daycare all the time. sometimes its unavoidable but i did my work experience at a daycare and their were little babies there from 8am til 6pm. whats the point in having a kid?

Sometimes people don't have a choice - they have to work. What are they supposed to do, not have children at all just because they don't have the finances to stay at home???

I am lucky in that I only work 3 days a week and LO is not in creche for very long hours as I work from home.

However, I don't condemn people that have to work. There is a big difference between having to and choosing to? I agree that I find it hard to understand why someone would work full-time if they don't need to. I think part-time work is a good compromise.

 

[BethK]

My LO goes to nursery 3 mornings a week and loves it.

She gets loads of stimulation and has come on leaps and bounds since being there.

 

[justlove]

I be doing the same with my LO as what I did with my daughter, keeping them at home with me until they start state nursery, guess you could say I am thinking more about me as I couldn't bear the thought of someone else looking after them. I remember everyone saying oh your making a rod for your own back and that my daughter would never be able to leave my side and I'd have problems when it came to her starting nursery etc but the first day my daughter started nursery she went in all excited and was more than happy for me to leave, me on the other hand walked home in tears.

 

[BabyJayne]

i really dont see the point in having kids if your just planning to send them off to daycare all the time. sometimes its unavoidable but i did my work experience at a daycare and their were little babies there from 8am til 6pm. whats the point in having a kid?

What a completely ridiculous, unneccesary and blinkered thing to say. You don't know any individual circumstances of people who have to leave their LOs in nursery all day - and to suggest that there is no point in having children if you have to send them off to nursery is downright stupid.

Madeline goes to nursery two days a week because I have to work. It's that simple. A friend of mine has to send her 18 month old to nursery 4 days a week because she is the highest earner out of her and her husband and her husband works shifts. Do you think she just merrily popped out a little baby, then skips down to the nursery with a smile on her face, hands over her little one without a care in the world and happily saunters off to work five days of the week? You're saying because she has to work and LO has to go to nursery, there was absolutely no point in her becoming a mum? Absolute nonsense.

Also, I don't know why you felt the need to comment on a thread that started and ended in January with something that is blatantly going to upset many people who don't have the choice.

Sorry for the essay - this post just really got my goat.

 

[leelee]

i really dont see the point in having kids if your just planning to send them off to daycare all the time. sometimes its unavoidable but i did my work experience at a daycare and their were little babies there from 8am til 6pm. whats the point in having a kid?

What a completely ridiculous, unneccesary and blinkered thing to say. You don't know any individual circumstances of people who have to leave their LOs in nursery all day - and to suggest that there is no point in having children if you have to send them off to nursery is downright stupid.

Madeline goes to nursery two days a week because I have to work. It's that simple. A friend of mine has to send her 18 month old to nursery 4 days a week because she is the highest earner out of her and her husband and her husband works shifts. Do you think she just merrily popped out a little baby, then skips down to the nursery with a smile on her face, hands over her little one without a care in the world and happily saunters off to work five days of the week? You're saying because she has to work and LO has to go to nursery, there was absolutely no point in her becoming a mum? Absolute nonsense.

Also, I don't know why you felt the need to comment on a thread that started and ended in January with something that is blatantly going to upset many people who don't have the choice.

Sorry for the essay - this post just really got my goat.

I have to say it annoyed me too.

It's very easy to say horrible things like that if you are in a financial position where you don't need to go back to work.

At the moment, I do need to work for financial reasons. However, OH has gone for a job and if he gets it, it means I wouldn't need to go back to work when the next LO is born. However, I may decide to return part-time if I want to.

I realise that I am very lucky to only have to work part-time as lots of people I know have to work full-time.

Kitty-Katx - you should take yourself over to Ireland and say that to women over there. Because of the government messing up and the contruction industry going bust it is mainly women that have jobs there and the men are having to stay at home. Do you honestly think any of them women want to be going out to work, or any of the men want to be staying at home??? There has been a whole shift in childcare responsibilities over there and women are feeling guilty enoough as it is, without thoughtless comments like that.

 

[Lexivu]

i really dont see the point in having kids if your just planning to send them off to daycare all the time. sometimes its unavoidable but i did my work experience at a daycare and their were little babies there from 8am til 6pm. whats the point in having a kid?

I think the point is to pay the bills, mortgage/rent and food. I'm afraid not all of us are lucky enough to live in your alternate universe where we can shit out money.

 

[BabyJayne]

i really dont see the point in having kids if your just planning to send them off to daycare all the time. sometimes its unavoidable but i did my work experience at a daycare and their were little babies there from 8am til 6pm. whats the point in having a kid?

I think the point is to pay the bills, mortgage/rent and food. I'm afraid not all of us are lucky enough to live in your alternate universe where we can shit out money.

 

[louandivy]

I don't judge others who put their LOs in nursery when they are young at all - I think it is great for a baby to get used to being around other children but I am just not ready to put Ivy in nursery for a good while. I can't imagine I'll even consider it until she is 3. I'm going to get a part-time evening job next year while I study because then I can spend as much time in the day with her as I need to, and she is around other babies at least a twice a week anyway. The main reason I couldn't put her in nursery is because she won't nap anywhere but on me and I can't imagine the nursery teachers would be willing to sit down and cuddle her for an hour and a half every morning though!

But obviously if I could only get a day job then I would have no choice and that would be fine, but most of my experience is in bar and restaurants anyway so it looks like it will be shifts going into the early hours of the morning for me

 

[louandivy]

i really dont see the point in having kids if your just planning to send them off to daycare all the time. sometimes its unavoidable but i did my work experience at a daycare and their were little babies there from 8am til 6pm. whats the point in having a kid?

I think the point is to pay the bills, mortgage/rent and food. I'm afraid not all of us are lucky enough to live in your alternate universe where we can shit out money.

Where is this alternate universe you speak of? I wanna go there!

 

[special_kala]

River wont be going t nursery, she will just go to pre school when shes 3.

Unless they need to go into nursery because of work i dont really think its necessary. Children under 3 dont need interaction with other kids. They dont understand the concept of sharing etc and at best they will play at the same time but wont play together if that makes sense/