30 yo and TTC #1

[HotMessJess84]

Tested this morning and another bfn I think I'm out. Not sure if I even ovulated this cycle. Maybe coming off the bcp really messed up my cycle because AF should have been here 5 days ago. Unless I count my wb as cd1 then AF should be showing up in 4 days. I'm frustrated and confused.

 

[Ttcsandiego]

hotmessjess, I'm in Oceanside. Right next to Camp Pendleton.

I'm on CD4, and should be done with AF tonight or tomorrow morning. I made an appointment for Friday with my acupuncturist...get back on that gravy train for this next O cycle. If anyone wants more info on acupuncture, I'm happy to help. There's lots of firsts I'm doing in an effort to get my mind and body on a good path for conceiving and acupuncture is one that I love.
I also bought some bromelain pills at CVS this morning. Going to try that for 1-5 DPO, along with robitussin.

Anyone tried pineapple core (bromelain) or robitussin or apple cider vinegar? Never did I think I'd be the girl reading about old wives tales and actually trying them. But hey, if something supposedly works, I'll give it a shot.

 

[curiousowl]

Tested this morning and another bfn I think I'm out. Not sure if I even ovulated this cycle. Maybe coming off the bcp really messed up my cycle because AF should have been here 5 days ago. Unless I count my wb as cd1 then AF should be showing up in 4 days. I'm frustrated and confused.

Aw, sorry. Don't give up hope until AF shows. A dr years ago told me that stopping the pill mid-cycle tends to throw off your schedule a lot more than stopping at the end of a pack. Not sure if that's true or not but I hope you're just having a long cycle that ends in your BFP.

 

[MgreenM]

Wow! Lots of posts to read through! Forgive me for not remembering who said what!

Dos-bummer about AF! But stay positive!
Welcome to the newcomers I havent had a chance to welcome!

I think you ladies are right. I am just going through a lot of transition now. I did hand in my letter of resignation today and my boss didn't really say anything...one or two of my coworkers congratulated me, but it just confirms to me that this is not a healthy place for me to be working right now. Tonight, I am feeling better but it was still a little rough this morning (didn't help that one of my co-workers started yelling at me the minute I walked in the door!). I talked with DH and one of the thoughts is that if I am pregnant, it could be the hormones making my mood seem to be so out of control. So, I am going to test in the morning. DH is a little concerned because he remembers how upset I was when I got the BFN last month. I don't think he fully understands/knows what to do when my anxiety is high or my depression is acting up. But he does care. And I think that is why there has been a little more tension between us lately. He doesn't know how to help or what to do. I am not sure what to tell him that I need. He listens which is huge. I think he wishes he could do more. Like wave a magic wand or something...So my current plan is to test tomorrow. If it is positive, I will email my psychiatrist so that way we can discuss how pregnancy hormones might affect me and how to best treat it. Beyond that, I am going to do my best to stay positive, focus on structure and routine where I can and enjoy having the dog around because she is absolutely wonderful and sweet!

Thank you, everyone, for bearing with me through the rollercoaster of emotions I have been experiencing this week. Things can only get better, right? You ladies are all wonderful! I am so glad I found you!

 

[PDReggie]

M, so much good luck and BFP vibes sending your way.

 

[lsd2721]

Hey Ladies! I've been super busy lately so I just caught up on the last few days. Looks like a few are close to testing! Good luck! I hope that AF stays away for you.

I'm waiting to ovulate but expect to on Tuesday so hopefully this is our month!

I had to come on here because I just had a mini meltdown moment and since we aren't telling people that we are trying, I come on here to vent to you all. My hubby was talking to my MIL tonight and I was sitting next to him. Completely out of the blue she was like, well from a grandma's perspective times a ticking, you don't want to wait too long. My husband was talking about my job so it's not like it was in context of the conversation. I understand that she doesn't know we are trying. But she does know that DH has sperm issues because she was with him when he originally had the surgery years ago to try to correct it. It's just so insensitive. As if I need her to remind me that I am going to be 30 and haven't had a baby yet. I'm very well aware. We've been trying for almost a year now and it just kills me for her to make a comment like that. She's got some nerve. Ugh!

Even more reason I hope this is our month and we don't have to deal with insensitive comments from her anymore. Thanks for reading and letting me vent!

OH MY! I'm so sorry! I sure do hate it when people feel the need to but in and tell you what to do with your life or how you should respond to big decisions!

When we found out I was pregnant the first round (before I lost it) I had called my mom and sister right away (after my husband knew of course) and told them the news b/c I was so excited. Well, since I had told them I thought it was fair to tell my dad and his wife (divorced parents) and then tell dh parents. I don't know if I have mentioned that my husband is from Australia or not..but he is so we skyped his parents to tell them and it turned out his aunt and uncle were there but dh decided to go ahead and tell them. They were all excited but his aunt said "well it's too early to be telling people. You shouldn't say anything until at least 8 weeks." I was soooooo angry. We weren't telling people. Just parents and siblings. Plus, who the F is she to tell me when to say something?! We were just excited and trying to be fair!

Anyway, I'm just saying I completely understand how people can be rude and you just want to whack them in the head and ask them what is wrong with them?!

Hi there, I'm going to jump on this bandwagon, as I just found this site tonight.

I'm 29 and TTC #1 since March of 2013. When my bf and I started trying, I didn't feel much pressure. But then my younger sister announced her pregnancy (due in June) and now I feel like I'm somehow a failure for not conceiving sooner. Seeing everyone so excited (first grand baby on either side)....it's just tough when it's not you. And it's even tougher when she brags that she conceived her very first cycle off BCP. I'm happy for her and I'm happy I will be an aunt, but at the same time it's like wtf. I have so many emotions about it all.

For the past two cycles I've really been doing my research and trying to help myself as much as I can. I don't want to take the 'relax and it will happen' approach, as I feel like if I do that, I'm somehow wasting time. Anyone else feel like that? I feel better and it helps keep me focused on my goal when I'm educating myself and reading about other women's stories.

I thought for sure last month was my month. I had such a positive outlook, I just had a different feeling about it. I was taking vitex pills, drinking a fertility tea, going to acupuncture once a week, we were using Preseed, and I was of course taking prenatals. I had EWCM, got a positive OPK, we had sex 3 times over that 48 hour period....and I thought bam, that's it. The stars have aligned, I felt like all the things that were supposed to have happened happened, and my bf and I did what we were supposed to do. I felt healthy and on top of my ttc game. Then during the 2ww, I had headaches, major cramping, sore nipples. All things I thought were symptoms. But here I sit on CD3, as AF showed her face Friday afternoon. And I had a complete breakdown.

But I'm slowly coming back mentally and looking forward to making this cycle the one. So that's my story. I don't have many people to tell it to, as all our friends have kids, my sister can't relate to any sort of struggle and her time is consumed with her own pregnancy, and the only thing my mom has said to me is relax and quit thinking about it. But I don't know how to do that quite yet

Hi! Welcome to the group! It's so lovely to meet you!

My sister had a baby last year and I love being an aunt. However, when my sister is younger and when she told me she was pregnant I was completely happy for her. However, I started getting a bit sad about it because I wanted a baby (but husband wasn't quite there yet) and not just a baby but I am the oldest so I always thought I'd be having the first grandchild and part of me was sad about that. I can understand you're frustration. I will tell you that once you see that baby though, your love for the child will take over and everything will go away! It did for me at least.

I am 32( 33 in less than a month) and just started trying. On cycle 1 I got a bfn and I don't want to be discouraged and assume this is the beginning of a loooong road. I know it's unusual to score on your first cycle without a goalie, but I still kind of thought it was possible. I really hope I can be relaxed and patient with this first few months. Talking it out does help, thanks ladies!

Welcome to the group! Wonderful to meet you!

It's very had for me sometimes to be all relaxed and patient! I say it should happen when we want it!! But that is what we're here for! Talk out our crazies together!

I think she got me I've got my typical AF cramps and I just started spotting in the same way I usually do just before AF. I was really hopeful this morning because my temps are still up, but I'm pretty certain this AF and not IB...I think it's too late for IB anyways. I'm trying really hard not to break down because I'm at school. It's my prep period though so at least I'm alone in my classroom for a while. I wish this got easier.

I'm so sorry!

Wow! Lots of posts to read through! Forgive me for not remembering who said what!

Dos-bummer about AF! But stay positive!
Welcome to the newcomers I havent had a chance to welcome!

I think you ladies are right. I am just going through a lot of transition now. I did hand in my letter of resignation today and my boss didn't really say anything...one or two of my coworkers congratulated me, but it just confirms to me that this is not a healthy place for me to be working right now. Tonight, I am feeling better but it was still a little rough this morning (didn't help that one of my co-workers started yelling at me the minute I walked in the door!). I talked with DH and one of the thoughts is that if I am pregnant, it could be the hormones making my mood seem to be so out of control. So, I am going to test in the morning. DH is a little concerned because he remembers how upset I was when I got the BFN last month. I don't think he fully understands/knows what to do when my anxiety is high or my depression is acting up. But he does care. And I think that is why there has been a little more tension between us lately. He doesn't know how to help or what to do. I am not sure what to tell him that I need. He listens which is huge. I think he wishes he could do more. Like wave a magic wand or something...So my current plan is to test tomorrow. If it is positive, I will email my psychiatrist so that way we can discuss how pregnancy hormones might affect me and how to best treat it. Beyond that, I am going to do my best to stay positive, focus on structure and routine where I can and enjoy having the dog around because she is absolutely wonderful and sweet!

Thank you, everyone, for bearing with me through the rollercoaster of emotions I have been experiencing this week. Things can only get better, right? You ladies are all wonderful! I am so glad I found you!

GL with testing tomorrow!! Lots of baby dust is being sent your way!


So my dad and his wife were here towards the end of last week until Sunday! We did a lot of yard work and shopping. I am just now getting around to reading all the posts! There are quite a few people testing in the next week and I wish everyone lots of luck! I can't wait to find out who our first BFP is!!

 

[Meljenn]

I hope everyone that is coming up on testing gets a BFP!
I'm on cd3 and my husband and I have set a goal this month to make it happen.

It looks like some of you have birthdays coming up so at least we can all celebrate something 😜

 

[DosPinkies]

Thank you everyone for the support. My DH let me cry in his chest when I got home, so I feel a little better. It isn't helping that I have a coworker about to pop and that's all anyone at work can talk about I was glad to get out of there today.

Ladders, I think I've been through there. Years ago (early 20s) my first husband was from London. That's how I can quickly spot UKers by the phrases they use! Haha.

 

[Miskas mommy]

I think she got me I've got my typical AF cramps and I just started spotting in the same way I usually do just before AF. I was really hopeful this morning because my temps are still up, but I'm pretty certain this AF and not IB...I think it's too late for IB anyways. I'm trying really hard not to break down because I'm at school. It's my prep period though so at least I'm alone in my classroom for a while. I wish this got easier.

sorry keep your head up

 

[curiousowl]

I think you ladies are right. I am just going through a lot of transition now. I did hand in my letter of resignation today and my boss didn't really say anything...one or two of my coworkers congratulated me, but it just confirms to me that this is not a healthy place for me to be working right now. Tonight, I am feeling better but it was still a little rough this morning (didn't help that one of my co-workers started yelling at me the minute I walked in the door!). I talked with DH and one of the thoughts is that if I am pregnant, it could be the hormones making my mood seem to be so out of control. So, I am going to test in the morning. DH is a little concerned because he remembers how upset I was when I got the BFN last month. I don't think he fully understands/knows what to do when my anxiety is high or my depression is acting up. But he does care. And I think that is why there has been a little more tension between us lately. He doesn't know how to help or what to do. I am not sure what to tell him that I need. He listens which is huge. I think he wishes he could do more. Like wave a magic wand or something...So my current plan is to test tomorrow. If it is positive, I will email my psychiatrist so that way we can discuss how pregnancy hormones might affect me and how to best treat it. Beyond that, I am going to do my best to stay positive, focus on structure and routine where I can and enjoy having the dog around because she is absolutely wonderful and sweet!

Thank you, everyone, for bearing with me through the rollercoaster of emotions I have been experiencing this week. Things can only get better, right? You ladies are all wonderful! I am so glad I found you!

I'm keeping you in my thoughts for testing. I know you're a little conflicted about this month but it's all going to work out!

I completely understand what you mean about the magic wand thing and DH and not being sure what to tell him that you need. I honestly could have written that part of your post myself. It does cause strain between us too but I know he's just frustrated because he cares.

 

[MgreenM]

Curious- thanks! It's nice to know that others experience similar things. Have you found anything that helps? Any key phrases? activities that you guys do together? I know that for us, we have been talking about what we are going to do tomorrow night. If we are going to game night(it's being hosted about 45 minutes away) vs just having dinner/hanging/doing things for us. I don't think we made a final decision...that will probably come when I call him after I get off of work tomorrow! Sometimes that is just how we roll.

 

[curiousowl]

For me, it's a lot about figuring out internally what I need. Is this a time when I want DH to try to distract me or do I actually just need to stay in bed? DH is great with the distractions but I sometimes have to remind him that when it's the latter, it's okay for me to be sad once in a while. I don't have clinical anxiety/depression but my mom and brother both do so I know I tend that way and I've struggled a lot in related ways in the past. DH is so light-hearted and easy-going that I know it's a complete mystery to him when I get overwhelmed by small things.

I also make sure I keep up with my workout schedule and (since my DH is super social) put my foot down if I'm just not in the mood to have people over or go out. I love that he pushes me to be more outgoing but sometimes I just need to be home in my sweats. And for us, we've always watched a lot of TV dramas together so curling up on the couch and watching a few episodes of whatever is something I can always manage, no matter how down I am, and shows DH that I want to be around him even if I am sad.

Don't know if any of that makes any sense! Sometimes I have a lot of trouble knowing how I'm feeling and why and that makes things hard. I think you're smart to play things by ear and see how you feel. I'm such a planner that's hard for me but often times it's the way to go!

 

[ladders]

Af due today or tomorrow and caved this morning and tested and of course bfn. So upset I really thought this month would work because absolutely nothing more i can do. Made me feel that something must be wrong and I'm so so worried and scared for getting results on Friday. Can believe that I thought that ttc would be a wonderful time in my life when it just feels like a nightmare of disappointment after disappointment

 

[MgreenM]

Af due today or tomorrow and caved this morning and tested and of course bfn. So upset I really thought this month would work because absolutely nothing more i can do. Made me feel that something must be wrong and I'm so so worried and scared for getting results on Friday. Can believe that I thought that ttc would be a wonderful time in my life when it just feels like a nightmare of disappointment after disappointment

I tested this morning with a digital (it's all I have) and got an error...will have to try again. I hate the testing because it makes me so much more anxious than I already am. However, I felt better yesterday after making the decision to test. So maybe this knowledge will help me settle down some.

 

[DosPinkies]

For me, it's a lot about figuring out internally what I need. Is this a time when I want DH to try to distract me or do I actually just need to stay in bed? DH is great with the distractions but I sometimes have to remind him that when it's the latter, it's okay for me to be sad once in a while. I don't have clinical anxiety/depression but my mom and brother both do so I know I tend that way and I've struggled a lot in related ways in the past. DH is so light-hearted and easy-going that I know it's a complete mystery to him when I get overwhelmed by small things.

I also make sure I keep up with my workout schedule and (since my DH is super social) put my foot down if I'm just not in the mood to have people over or go out. I love that he pushes me to be more outgoing but sometimes I just need to be home in my sweats. And for us, we've always watched a lot of TV dramas together so curling up on the couch and watching a few episodes of whatever is something I can always manage, no matter how down I am, and shows DH that I want to be around him even if I am sad.

Don't know if any of that makes any sense! Sometimes I have a lot of trouble knowing how I'm feeling and why and that makes things hard. I think you're smart to play things by ear and see how you feel. I'm such a planner that's hard for me but often times it's the way to go!

This reminds me SO much of my DH and me. He's never met a stranger, and I am definitely not that way at all. He's go-with-the-flow and I'm Captain Planner. I have some social anxiety...I can overcome it and most would never know, but I have little internal panic attacks when I have to mingle with lots of people. I have problems with mild depression, too, and I know DH doesn't always know what to do, but he wants to help. With this baby thing, he's gotten a lot better at just understanding that I go through a lot of emotional pain when AF gets here and just being there to listen to me, whereas in the very beginning, he was getting frustrated with me because he didn't get it.

Af due today or tomorrow and caved this morning and tested and of course bfn. So upset I really thought this month would work because absolutely nothing more i can do. Made me feel that something must be wrong and I'm so so worried and scared for getting results on Friday. Can believe that I thought that ttc would be a wonderful time in my life when it just feels like a nightmare of disappointment after disappointment

I definitely know how you feel. Truthfully, it doesn't necessarily mean anything is wrong, but I know it feels that way. I go through that, too. But listen...let's say hypothetically you get your results on Friday and there is something wrong...there are a million things you can do. Couples who have fertility issues conceive every day. The trick is knowing what you're facing so that you can know exactly what you need to do to get over the obstacles. No matter what, you will figure it out and you will be a mommy (mum ) someday. We'll get through it.

 

[SoonToBePreg]

Ladders, I echo what Dos says, it's better to know what u r dealing with so u can adjust as needed. But try not to worry too much, some people do everything perfect in a cycle and still get a bfn.

Tested today and got a bfn. I plan to retest on Saturday.

 

[curiousowl]

This reminds me SO much of my DH and me. He's never met a stranger, and I am definitely not that way at all. He's go-with-the-flow and I'm Captain Planner. I have some social anxiety...I can overcome it and most would never know, but I have little internal panic attacks when I have to mingle with lots of people. I have problems with mild depression, too, and I know DH doesn't always know what to do, but he wants to help. With this baby thing, he's gotten a lot better at just understanding that I go through a lot of emotional pain when AF gets here and just being there to listen to me, whereas in the very beginning, he was getting frustrated with me because he didn't get it.

Yes! Seriously, everything you said resonates so much. People sometimes think I'm stuck up or not friendly because the more people you get in a group with me the quieter I get. I think people who know my DH and then are meeting me expect me to be more like him and then don't know what to make of me. But hopefully they like me once they get to know me? It's nice to meet people who understand.


ladders and SoonToBe, sorry about the BFNs Don't count yourself out till you're out!


MgreenM, how annoying! Stupid digi.

 

[RForReal]

Ladders, I echo what Dos said as well. Knowing what you are dealing with, if anything, can only help. It gives you a little control back since you can work to correct any issues that may be present. When I told my OB/GYN that we were trying, she said to remember that many women take up to or even over a year to conceive and it's completely normal. I keep telling myself that I've been in this for a year and it's definitely harder than I anticipated, but when I do finally get that BFP this time will feel like nothing. I think back to college and high school and how long 4 years felt at the beginning and how short it felt when it was all over. I imagine TTC will be the same way. Even if it hurts now and is upsetting not knowing, at the end of the day it will all be worth it. Don't give up hope and try not to get too discouraged. I firmly believe it will happen for you!

 

[MrsKChicago]

I think a lot of men feel helpless in the face of things like anxiety and depression because they have this need to fix things, and you just can't fix it. Maybe when you talk to your doctor, she'll have some ideas of things your husband can do, in addition to things you can do? I'm sure she's had other clients in similar positions.

Good luck to everyone testing soon!

 

[DosPinkies]

Soooo I hate my body. I can't ever figure it out. As you know, I started spotting yesterday - figured I was out. I was cramping a little, too. Well very very rarely do I spot for 2 days before AF comes full flow - it's happened once or twice that I can remember, but it's not common. And today, still spotting, but I'm only barely spotting. Barely - even less than yesterday. Yesterday it was mostly light pinkish, a tiny brownish. Today it's brown and mixed in with a tiny bit of stretchy CM (I'm so glad we're not squeamish about talking about this stuff...lol). Anyways...I'm trying not to get my hopes up that it could be IB. I already cried a lot yesterday and came to acceptance, so Im afraid to have hope. But still...I can't help but wonder. On top of that, don't my temps still look good? Or is that just my hope talking? And a couple of days ago, there was a small dip...implantation? Ah, who knows. I'm planning on testing with a FRER tomorrow morning if AF doesn't come over night. Can any of you ladies weigh in on this? What are the chances that I'd get IB 13dpo with mild cramping?