30 yo and TTC #1

[curiousowl]

RForReal. I'm sorry you're having a low day.

 

[ladders]

RforReal sorry your having a down day hope you feel better soon think we all feel like that at times and it sucks. My cousin just had a baby girl and had to go buy a present last week and walked around the baby clothes on my own crying, must have looked like a right weirdo.

Dos how strange i actually ordered soft cups too and came yesterday lol, used preseed for the last two cycles so thought I'd add in the soft cups but am a little scared of using them, worried in case can't get them back out lol

Have also ordered some fertli cm when i ordered the count and motility boost for dh but no uk stockist so have to wait for it to come from your end. Man this ttc business is more expensive than i thought or maybe it's only because I'm so neurotic and need to do everything. Dh keeps telling me I can't plan and organise everything just have to let it happen but im just not made like that

 

[DosPinkies]

Oh, I've cried in the baby clothes section before. Thank God I'm not alone in that. Lol. See, my story is that even though we've only been trying for 4 cycles, just a drop in the bucket compared to some, we were just starting to try almost a year ago when my chronic headaches started. Everything had finally fallen into place. We had been waiting for DH to graduate paramedic school (which is brutal btw...for the year he was in it, I almost forgot what his face looked like). He graduated and DH gave the go-ahead to start trying. I was SO excited. Literally days later, I got a bad headache. It lasted for days. Then weeks. Then months. It never went away. The TTC had to be put on hold and I was basically crippled with pain. Instead of adding to our family, life became crying from the pain and a parade of chiropractors, GPs, neurologists, pain specialists, headache specialists, acupuncturists, etc. I was so crushed by the timing...I felt like just when I thought things were naturally falling into place, the roof caved in. I was sad and furious all at once. About 9 months into the chronic headaches is when I really started losing it about not being able to try for our baby. Every time someone on Facebook announced a pregnancy, I died a little more inside. Every time I had to buy a baby gift, I cried at the store. It was rough. Finally I sat DH down and told him that I didn't care about the pain anymore - I had no idea when we'd get it solved or even if we'd get it solved, but I was done putting everything I wanted on hold and letting my headaches beat me. He backed me up and said if I want to try to manage it, he'd support me. So...we started TTC, chronic headaches or no. You want to know the funny part? About a month and a half in to TTC, my headaches mysteriously got better. No rhyme or reason for it. I still have them, but they're SO much better, so manageable. Instead of having a bad pain day every day, now it's just every once in a while, and most days are just mild now. It helps me know that we made the right decision. Maybe fighting back instead of letting them win is going to be the thing that beats them.

Ladders, I used the Nuvaring birth control when I was 18, and the soft cups look to be pretty much the same thing, just with the added plastic for the cup part. It comes right out. There's really no way it can get lost up there. It's too big to actually make it past your cervix. No worries! I'm going to go pick mine up today (horay for Walmart site-to-store shipping) and plan to practice it before go-time. Lol.

I'm the EXACT same way with the neurotic planning and wanting to pull out all the stops. (Strange how a lot of us are so alike.) My reasoning is that I know how emotionally crushing it is every cycle it doesn't work, and I don't want to half-ass my attempts, so to speak, just to put myself through that every month when I could have done more. Is that crazy?

 

[Meljenn]

Lsd that is awesome that you crochet. I tried for a while but got hooked on quilting so now I make photo quilts when I have time.

I also love to target shoot. I live in a rural area so I have targets set up in the back yard.

 

[ladders]

No it's not crazy at all its exactly how I feel. If I don't try and do everything possible to increase my chances I feel like I've let myself down and wasted a month, my god a month never felt so long before I was ttc.
Even find myself kinda hoping I have this pituarty tumour because it could be the thing stopping us and with medication to shrink it might bring me my baby. Dh doesn't understand that and got mad when I tried to say it to him.

Really sorry to hear of your troubles with the headaches must have been a really rough time and been so hard when wanting to start, really pleased that you are better now and have been able to start your journey. Really do think it will happen for you soon and it will be all the better for having wanted it so much for so long

 

[lsd2721]

Good for you! I have tried both crocheting and knitting but I'm horrible at both. I have no patience nor am I artsy as hard as I try to be. We are going to the shooting range tomorrow and then I'm going to try and plan what I need to pack this week for our trip to New Mexico next weekend. I'm also going to try and avoid thinking about switching divisions so I don't freak myself out.

Shooting range sounds like a lot of fun! I'm from the south and you think I'd know how to shoot, but I don't!

one of my friends taught me to crochet...I only made part of a baby blanket (was supposed to be for my niece who is now 4) before life got too busy...I should start doing some sort of craft...haven't started the scrapbook for our wedding as we haven't gotten our pro pictures yet (they guy has been a real jerk...and DH knows him personally!) But scrapbooking is something I really enjoy. Maybe I will pick up the crocheting again...

I did a craft class with a friend once on a greeting cards. I assume that is like scrapbooking. It was a lot of fun! It was hard. All the little small pieces to glue and set on on the paper!

Well - just in case this is our last cycle TTC before we have to take a break, I decided to get some extra tools for my box. No pun intended...Lol. I just ordered softcups (didn't think I'd ever do it, as the thought kinda weirds me out, but I'll get over it) and I'm going to try taking musinex, too. Ladders, Im like you...I always feel like I have to add a new trick each cycle!

Have any of you girls ever thought about these or tried them?

I tried mucinex one cycle and wasn't a fan. We did soft cups this month so we'll see. I'm pretty discouraged so I'm feeling like it's never going to happen for us. One of my best friends told me today that she is pregnant. I'm of course happy for her but it makes me think that I've been trying for a year and I hope that I'm pregnant before she has her baby. She just found out 2 weeks ago so she's not telling many people. She was only trying for a few months which also kills me. Why couldn't we be so lucky?

Sorry to be such a downer. Just feeling really discouraged today.

I'm so sorry about that!

Lsd that is awesome that you crochet. I tried for a while but got hooked on quilting so now I make photo quilts when I have time.

I also love to target shoot. I live in a rural area so I have targets set up in the back yard.

Quilting! I love quilts! It is a project I have on my list of things to do!


Also, I think someone asked me about my jump in temps the other day. It was just a bad night. I couldn't sleep. I woke up and just took my temp before my alarm went off. I probably shouldn't have marked it but I did anyway.

Happy Sunday to everyone!

 

[curiousowl]

Also, I think someone asked me about my jump in temps the other day. It was just a bad night. I couldn't sleep. I woke up and just took my temp before my alarm went off. I probably shouldn't have marked it but I did anyway.

That was me I'm fascinated by temp charts right now, but mostly just nosy!

 

[PDReggie]

That's so funny you say that, because I've thought that, too. Lol. And ironically, my husband and I are planning to go to the shooting range tomorrow, too! Nuts, huh? He bought me a little handgun for Christmas to keep by the bed (since I'm alone so often due to his schedule), and I still haven't gotten to shoot it yet. I have tiny doll hands for some reason, and I can't even grip his big chunky manly guns...so his guns got together and made a baby gun that I can shoot. Lol.

Haha. I feel the same way. I stick to the smaller hand guns. But DH did get me a pretty pink and purple AR 15 for my last birthday. I laughed at the range today. A teenage girl was doing her homework next to me while we all waited for stalls to open up. I looked over and it was advanced placement physics. I just wanted to hug her and give her a gift card!

I tried mucinex one cycle and wasn't a fan. We did soft cups this month so we'll see. I'm pretty discouraged so I'm feeling like it's never going to happen for us. One of my best friends told me today that she is pregnant. I'm of course happy for her but it makes me think that I've been trying for a year and I hope that I'm pregnant before she has her baby. She just found out 2 weeks ago so she's not telling many people. She was only trying for a few months which also kills me. Why couldn't we be so lucky?

Sorry to be such a downer. Just feeling really discouraged today.

Sorry you are feeling down. I will send you good vibes. I would offer you the snickers I'm eating but I doubt half a snickers would travel well. Feel better.

Lsd that is awesome that you crochet. I tried for a while but got hooked on quilting so now I make photo quilts when I have time.

I also love to target shoot. I live in a rural area so I have targets set up in the back yard.

That's fun. Maybe if we all have girls we can trade pics of them target shooting as teenagers. Keep the boys away.

That was me I'm fascinated by temp charts right now, but mostly just nosy!

Me too! I totally love checking out everyone's charts and am fascinated by them

 

[RForReal]

Thanks everyone for your kind words and virtual hugs. I feel much better today! I went to lunch with my friend today and she told me the baby wasn't planned but she did come off the pill about 6 months ago so they figured it might happen. I think I handled hearing that well. Still sucks that so many women get pregnant by accident and we struggle so much.

RforReal sorry your having a down day hope you feel better soon think we all feel like that at times and it sucks. My cousin just had a baby girl and had to go buy a present last week and walked around the baby clothes on my own crying, must have looked like a right weirdo.

Dos how strange i actually ordered soft cups too and came yesterday lol, used preseed for the last two cycles so thought I'd add in the soft cups but am a little scared of using them, worried in case can't get them back out lol

Have also ordered some fertli cm when i ordered the count and motility boost for dh but no uk stockist so have to wait for it to come from your end. Man this ttc business is more expensive than i thought or maybe it's only because I'm so neurotic and need to do everything. Dh keeps telling me I can't plan and organise everything just have to let it happen but im just not made like that

Good luck! We used them this cycle and they weren't too bad. I did practice once before it was O time to make sure I could easily put them in and take them out. It really wasn't a big deal. They look much scarier than they are!

Also wanted to say check the reviews on fertilecm. I've read that if you have normal cycles it can mess them up. I'm scared to try anything that reviews say that because then I'll feel like I wasted a month by messing with stuff. There are a ton of positive reviews though so I hope it works wonders for you!

Oh, I've cried in the baby clothes section before. Thank God I'm not alone in that. Lol. See, my story is that even though we've only been trying for 4 cycles, just a drop in the bucket compared to some, we were just starting to try almost a year ago when my chronic headaches started. Everything had finally fallen into place. We had been waiting for DH to graduate paramedic school (which is brutal btw...for the year he was in it, I almost forgot what his face looked like). He graduated and DH gave the go-ahead to start trying. I was SO excited. Literally days later, I got a bad headache. It lasted for days. Then weeks. Then months. It never went away. The TTC had to be put on hold and I was basically crippled with pain. Instead of adding to our family, life became crying from the pain and a parade of chiropractors, GPs, neurologists, pain specialists, headache specialists, acupuncturists, etc. I was so crushed by the timing...I felt like just when I thought things were naturally falling into place, the roof caved in. I was sad and furious all at once. About 9 months into the chronic headaches is when I really started losing it about not being able to try for our baby. Every time someone on Facebook announced a pregnancy, I died a little more inside. Every time I had to buy a baby gift, I cried at the store. It was rough. Finally I sat DH down and told him that I didn't care about the pain anymore - I had no idea when we'd get it solved or even if we'd get it solved, but I was done putting everything I wanted on hold and letting my headaches beat me. He backed me up and said if I want to try to manage it, he'd support me. So...we started TTC, chronic headaches or no. You want to know the funny part? About a month and a half in to TTC, my headaches mysteriously got better. No rhyme or reason for it. I still have them, but they're SO much better, so manageable. Instead of having a bad pain day every day, now it's just every once in a while, and most days are just mild now. It helps me know that we made the right decision. Maybe fighting back instead of letting them win is going to be the thing that beats them.

Ladders, I used the Nuvaring birth control when I was 18, and the soft cups look to be pretty much the same thing, just with the added plastic for the cup part. It comes right out. There's really no way it can get lost up there. It's too big to actually make it past your cervix. No worries! I'm going to go pick mine up today (horay for Walmart site-to-store shipping) and plan to practice it before go-time. Lol.

I'm the EXACT same way with the neurotic planning and wanting to pull out all the stops. (Strange how a lot of us are so alike.) My reasoning is that I know how emotionally crushing it is every cycle it doesn't work, and I don't want to half-ass my attempts, so to speak, just to put myself through that every month when I could have done more. Is that crazy?

Wow, well I'm glad you aren't dealing with those headaches anymore. Strange that you never found a cause for them. But I'm happy to see you in the TTC forums alongside us!

I'm also the same way about planning and all. My husband makes fun of me for my excel sheets and binders! TTC kills me and is teaching me to let go a little because there's only so much I can do and it's really out of my hands.

That's so funny you say that, because I've thought that, too. Lol. And ironically, my husband and I are planning to go to the shooting range tomorrow, too! Nuts, huh? He bought me a little handgun for Christmas to keep by the bed (since I'm alone so often due to his schedule), and I still haven't gotten to shoot it yet. I have tiny doll hands for some reason, and I can't even grip his big chunky manly guns...so his guns got together and made a baby gun that I can shoot. Lol.

Haha. I feel the same way. I stick to the smaller hand guns. But DH did get me a pretty pink and purple AR 15 for my last birthday. I laughed at the range today. A teenage girl was doing her homework next to me while we all waited for stalls to open up. I looked over and it was advanced placement physics. I just wanted to hug her and give her a gift card!

I tried mucinex one cycle and wasn't a fan. We did soft cups this month so we'll see. I'm pretty discouraged so I'm feeling like it's never going to happen for us. One of my best friends told me today that she is pregnant. I'm of course happy for her but it makes me think that I've been trying for a year and I hope that I'm pregnant before she has her baby. She just found out 2 weeks ago so she's not telling many people. She was only trying for a few months which also kills me. Why couldn't we be so lucky?

Sorry to be such a downer. Just feeling really discouraged today.

Sorry you are feeling down. I will send you good vibes. I would offer you the snickers I'm eating but I doubt half a snickers would travel well. Feel better.

Thanks! Appreciate the offer. I had some wine last night so I feel much better. Probably shouldn't have since I'm in the TWW but oh well. I've read that it couldn't really effect anything this early anyway.

Lsd that is awesome that you crochet. I tried for a while but got hooked on quilting so now I make photo quilts when I have time.

I also love to target shoot. I live in a rural area so I have targets set up in the back yard.

That's fun. Maybe if we all have girls we can trade pics of them target shooting as teenagers. Keep the boys away.

That was me I'm fascinated by temp charts right now, but mostly just nosy!

Me too! I totally love checking out everyone's charts and am fascinated by them

I don't know how to post mine. But I do check out everyone else's!

 

[DosPinkies]

DH had a small fit this evening when I broke the news about the soft cups. Basically he said that all of the temping and OPK's and being on the forums "weirds" him out and "overwhelms" him. I got pretty upset about it. My response was...overwhelms you, huh? Are you the one taking your temp every day? Are you the one peeing on sticks and charting data? Are you the one putting a cup in your vagina? Yeah, I didn't think so. (I'm mouthy...heh heh.) Then I made him sit down and I calmly explained that I temp and test so that we don't mistime things and have to keep doing this month after month. I discuss things on the forum to get and give support that is needed to keep from driving you (DH) insane. I don't particularly want to temp and test and use soft cups. This is not a fun Friday night activity for me. I do it because I don't want our TTC period to last forever, because it's not any fun for me either. And I cried.

Then he called himself a jerk (good, I didn't have to point that out myself ) and apologized. Men.

 

[MrsKChicago]

I'm glad he apologized! Obsessing kind of freaks my DH out, but he knows better than to try to stop me from obsessing in ways that don't directly impact him Good luck to your husband on firefighter training. It sucks that it may mess with your TTC, but hopefully it ends up being worth it for you guys.

I'm catching up now, so I hope I don't miss anything I meant to comment on. First, hugs to anyone who needs one today. We don't even have a chance of pregnancy this month, and it's still dragging. I never thought I'd be so impatient for my period!

LSD, I knit, crochet, and sew. I've dabbled in some other crafts, but those are the three I come back to. I'm currently about 1/3 of the way through a knitted scarf for me, and I need to get started on a Christmas apron for a friend (good thing we didn't see each other in December!) and a floor blanket for my nephew. Busy busy. So what am I doing? Wasting time on the computer

MgreenM, how are you feeling? I'm also in favor of lots of updates!

As far as soft cups go, I've never tried them, but I might if it takes awhile to get pregnant. I use a menstrual cup anyway, and it's ten million times better than tampons, so I suspect I'd adjust to the soft cup. I kind of wonder if the cup I have might work to some degree, though I don't think the shape is as effective as a soft cup.

I'm convinced that I'm going to get pregnant by May. I just booked a girls weekend in New Orleans for May. I've been several times, but I've never been able to drink while I'm there (I was underage before). Kind of funny, never being able to drink in New Orleans. I figure it would just be typical if I go back in my 30s and I still can't get drunk! And if I don't get pregnant, well, I can have fun in New Orleans! I added on a few days to the trip to visit my friend in Houston who just had a baby, too, so I'll get lots of little baby snuggles, I hope.

 

[MgreenM]

MrsK- first thank you for the hugs. Physically, I have been feeling okay, no real issues. Emotionally, is another story. It looks like I might have to go back on my meds. I am struggling with depressive symptoms over the weekends and anxiety/panic attacks during the week. I feel very alone in that I can't really talk about it with my friends yet. I have one friend that I am trying to confide in but everytime I try to talk to her, she is in the middle of something. I am thinking of emailing her and setting up a time to talk. I have my first appointment on Feb. 18th. So, I am just doing my best to cope and letting my psychiatrist know what's going on.

 

[RForReal]

DosPinkies- I'm so glad he apologized! This TTC stuff is hard enough without the added pressure. Seems like he's getting it now which is great.

Mgreen- I'm so sorry you are struggling so much! Lots of hugs to you. I hope that you can get everything quickly worked out. Sending positive thoughts your way.

 

[curiousowl]

DH had a small fit this evening when I broke the news about the soft cups. Basically he said that all of the temping and OPK's and being on the forums "weirds" him out and "overwhelms" him. I got pretty upset about it. My response was...overwhelms you, huh? Are you the one taking your temp every day? Are you the one peeing on sticks and charting data? Are you the one putting a cup in your vagina? Yeah, I didn't think so. (I'm mouthy...heh heh.) Then I made him sit down and I calmly explained that I temp and test so that we don't mistime things and have to keep doing this month after month. I discuss things on the forum to get and give support that is needed to keep from driving you (DH) insane. I don't particularly want to temp and test and use soft cups. This is not a fun Friday night activity for me. I do it because I don't want our TTC period to last forever, because it's not any fun for me either. And I cried.

Then he called himself a jerk (good, I didn't have to point that out myself ) and apologized. Men.

Men is right! I'm glad he realized he was being unreasonable I can understand where some of this stuff gets a little exhausting. But I feel like a lot of men are taught that unprotected sex automatically = pregnancy and so it's hard for them to understand why anything extra is necessary. My DH's only comment is to say "gross" when I talk about peeing on a stick but other than that he's pretty much like MrsK's DH, he lets me obsess to my heart's content since stopping me is basically impossible!

MrsK- first thank you for the hugs. Physically, I have been feeling okay, no real issues. Emotionally, is another story. It looks like I might have to go back on my meds. I am struggling with depressive symptoms over the weekends and anxiety/panic attacks during the week. I feel very alone in that I can't really talk about it with my friends yet. I have one friend that I am trying to confide in but everytime I try to talk to her, she is in the middle of something. I am thinking of emailing her and setting up a time to talk. I have my first appointment on Feb. 18th. So, I am just doing my best to cope and letting my psychiatrist know what's going on.

Aw, sorry to hear you're having a rough time. I can only imagine that being pregnant puts an extra stress on things. Just keep your team in the loop and if you need to go back on medication then do it. You in good emotional health will be good for the baby. It sounds like such a crazy time for you, I think it will all get better too once you're past all these transitions.

 

[ladders]

Dos your lucky your dh admits he's a jerk lol mine would never do that! Do think it's a common thing because they just don't realise what these ovaries twitching does to us women.

Question ladies! Its Cd 7 tomorrow and due to start poas of my digital opks but after researching high prolactin found out it stops you ovulating. Do you think i would get positive opks if wasn't? Have my repeat blood sample tomorrow but will take week and a half to get results right after estinated o. Do you think it's worth using them if I'm not sure my body can o at the moment. Month supply is £30 so can't afford to waste them but if test comes back normal will I kick myself for not making the most out of this month? !!!!

 

[MgreenM]

Thank you for your support ladies. I really appreciate it. This morning was rough, but I was able to make it through the day after talking to a co-worker. I am lucky to have a co-worker who is like a mom and another who is just a really good friend/supporter. I am trying to make sure I walk the dog for a little bit longer to get some extra exercise and hopefully help boost my mood. It's hard with how cold it has been though! It was almost 50 degrees at lunch time and now it is back below freezing and supposed to get down to 8 degrees!
So, here is my timeline to work on coping:
Mon. Feb. 3rd - psychologist appointment
Thurs. Feb. 6th - psychiatrist appointment
Fri. Feb 14th - last day working at current job
Feb. 18th - first OB appointment.
Feb. 24th - first day at new job

Laying it out like this, it doesn't seem that far away! I know I will get through this and I just have to be patient. I am also working on finding a psychologist closer to home as the location of my current psychologist is just too far with the new job (I know, like I really need another transition right now...but I know myself and I won't be happy making the drive!)

As for the questions about the OPKs, I wish I could help, but I never even considered using them!

I hope everyone had a good day!

 

[RForReal]

Dos your lucky your dh admits he's a jerk lol mine would never do that! Do think it's a common thing because they just don't realise what these ovaries twitching does to us women.

Question ladies! Its Cd 7 tomorrow and due to start poas of my digital opks but after researching high prolactin found out it stops you ovulating. Do you think i would get positive opks if wasn't? Have my repeat blood sample tomorrow but will take week and a half to get results right after estinated o. Do you think it's worth using them if I'm not sure my body can o at the moment. Month supply is £30 so can't afford to waste them but if test comes back normal will I kick myself for not making the most out of this month? !!!!

Are you temping too? I know that on occasion the surge happens but ovulation doesn't occur just yet. You may get two surges and O actually happened after the second. It's not typical but it happens. I would suggest temping as well because the OPK predicts o and the temping confirms it. Nice to have two data points.

 

[curiousowl]

Question for you ladies using OPKs. Are you doing any sort of hold/restricting fluids prior to taking the tests? Do we think this is critical? I keep reading things that say hold your urine for 4 hours and restrict fluids or nope, doesn't matter at all. Up to now I haven't been doing either and I do drink a lot of water. But (sorry, TMI) when I've taken the tests I haven't particularly noticed that my urine is totally clear or anything. Now I'm scared I'm giving myself false negatives!

 

[MrsKChicago]

The first week of February will be here before you know it! I hope your docs can help you find some good ways to cope. You have to take care of yourself first.

 

[DosPinkies]

Owl - I would err on the side of holding for at least a while...and no excessive water. I think it can affect it. I use the clear blue happy face OPK (technical term), and I only test first thing in the morning.