40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Emmi]

Hey ladies I just turned 40 in May, we have been ttc 5.5 years. I just had a FET on Monday and hoping for the best.

Hi there - here's hoping for good things for you and everyone!

 

[FindingKismet]

Hi ladies, I just skimmed through this thread and WOW do I ever feel at home.

I'm 41, approaching 42. DH and I decided to have children a few years ago. We got sidelined by the recession, but eventually got back on our feet and started trying. The rest is in my signature. It's been a long road.

I'm in my first IUI cycle right now, taking clomid, and I have no idea what's to come. I'm just hoping for a miracle!

 

[Juniperjules]

Yes.. I too have grown sick to death of being happy for everyone else. It's it awful how this process can make u feel so weird & selfish/ jealous. It's awful, when u know ur really not THAT person.

So this morning I'm 11dpo, & I'm having a bit of spotting. Which is unusual for me. I had spotting once before, But not since. Weird this is the last time this happened was August last year...Very very weird that its the same month...

 

[Kat S]

Well crap.

I went in for my Day 3 u/s, and they saw a NEW cyst on the other ovary. Great. She said we can't do any drugs or IUI this month again, but I can try at home on my own. Not so easy to do when the husband has an ejaculatory disorder, but we'll try. She was stressing that with my AMH and FSH levels, I really need to do IVF. Anyone have a spare $10,000?

 

[Emmi]

Well crap.

I went in for my Day 3 u/s, and they saw a NEW cyst on the other ovary. Great. She said we can't do any drugs or IUI this month again, but I can try at home on my own. Not so easy to do when the husband has an ejaculatory disorder, but we'll try. She was stressing that with my AMH and FSH levels, I really need to do IVF. Anyone have a spare $10,000?

Awww Honey - that just sucks - so sorry to hear that If only money really did grow on trees - seems so unfair that unless you can pay - you don't get what you deserve.... x

 

[jen379]

Kat, I am very sorry. I know how hard these road blocks and decisions are. It is all so very much unfair. Sending you lots of hugs.

 

[Briss]

Kat, I am very sorry about the cyst! cant they just do natural IUI without any meds? i mean if your dh has ejaculatory disorder it might just give you a slightly better chance than TTC naturally. although at my clinic they were happy to proceed with modified IVF (with less drags) despite having cyst on each ovary

 

[Kat S]

Briss, I wondered the same thing about an hour after I left the office. If I can try naturally at home, why can't they do an IUI? Maybe because they don't want me taking Ovidrel as it might affect the cyst? If that's the case, timing the IUI would be really hard I suppose.

Now I need to track ovulation on my own. I guess I'd better get some supplies!

Thanks to everyone for your support. The nurse made me feel SO hopeless. I know she was just being honest with me about my situation, but she made it sound like I'd hit the lottery before falling pregnant without IVF. Is it THAT impossible after 40?

 

[bash73]

Kat, my new doctors or soooo very positive. The son told me the first visit, it's the new thing to have a baby at our age. The father kept saying I'm 39 years young (I'm gonna be 40 on 9/9). Nothing is impossible. Keep your chin up. I start my OPK tomorrow. Or should I say OPKssss. I bought 2 different ones and that was after I swore I wouldn't use them again, but i'm obsessed I guess. I'm just glad that my body is almost back to "normal". Although AF was heavier I think, no real cramping which was good, but hormones are out of whack, my mood is foul and I hate it. Positive thoughts and prayers.

 

[Kat S]

Bash, if you have any recommendations for OPKs, feel free to share (or point me to a post where you talked about it if you already did!). I'm new at this!!

And also, share all those positive words from your doc with me. The nurse I spoke with today was definitely sympathetic, but not encouraging at all.

 

[Juniperjules]

Kat, defo get urself the clearblue opks with the smiley faces- no ambiguity there! I've used the Internet cheaply ones too. And sometimes they were good, other times they did my head in studying them trying to figure out if the lines were dark enough. The smiley ones are not cheap. But now I wouldn't use anything else- for the peace if mind they are worth it. I would usually start them around day 9ish & keep going till i get a smiley face. I do them when I get up in the morning, FMU is fine.

It is def still possible to get pregnant at 40 Kat. My FS even said it to me last week. The cysts are def proving a challenge for you, but don't give up! I know plenty of women who have had babies at 40/41/42 even 44. I see older mums at my work all the time .. Most are IVF, but who cares! The point is that it's still possible!

 

[Kat S]

Thanks, Juniper!

I found a few sites for women over 40

https://www.circleofmoms.com/mums-o...-of-all-ages./i-m-over-40-and-pregnant-193420

and

https://achildafter40.com/

Making me feel a little better!

 

[FindingKismet]

Hi guys! I was surprised this article mentioned TTC. I never thought of it as another way we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect.

https://www.glamour.com/inspired/20...ng-to-barnard-college-president-debora-l-spar

I am hopeful that this IUI will work for me. But if it doesn't, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I don't have the money to do more IUIs and I definitely don't have $15000 to do IVF. We could finance/borrow, but what if it doesn't work the first time?

I've been reading a bit on adoption, just trying to open my mind and educate myself in case this becomes our new path. I know adoption can be expensive too, but you get a baby in the end.

 

[Emmi]

Hi guys! I was surprised this article mentioned TTC. I never thought of it as another way we put pressure on ourselves to be perfect.

https://www.glamour.com/inspired/20...ng-to-barnard-college-president-debora-l-spar

I am hopeful that this IUI will work for me. But if it doesn't, I'm not sure what I'm going to do. I don't have the money to do more IUIs and I definitely don't have $15000 to do IVF. We could finance/borrow, but what if it doesn't work the first time?

I've been reading a bit on adoption, just trying to open my mind and educate myself in case this becomes our new path. I know adoption can be expensive too, but you get a baby in the end.

Interesting article but I get really irked sometimes by the whole that women put their career first instead of fertility.......I have had an amazing career but the reason I never had children before was because I just hadn't met Mr Right......There were a lot of Mr Maybe's but instinct told me that it wouldn't be right.....
So I meet the right guy at 40, marry at 41 and here I am struggling to conceive at 42.....I don't want it all and I don't want to be superwoman - happy not to have that well paid executive job or whatever - I just want a little baba that will be my world - along with hubby of course!

We are on our one and only chance at IVF - too expensive to ever consider doing it again

Really wishing you all the best and should you look at adoption - here's hoping that it's the path that maybe you possibly need to follow.

 

[Emmi]

Thanks, Juniper!

I found a few sites for women over 40

https://www.circleofmoms.com/mums-o...-of-all-ages./i-m-over-40-and-pregnant-193420

and

https://achildafter40.com/

Making me feel a little better!

Thank you for these Kat! xxx

 

[Kat S]

I agree with you guys about the uncertainty of IVF. Sure, it might work, but ...what if it doesn't, and I put us in debt for nothing? And ok, what if it works? OK, now not only do we have another large bill to pay off (the loan), but we have to buy diapers and clothes and supplies out the wazoo. Where will the money come from? We have no family who can help...parents are either dead or flat broke. It's so frustrating!

 

[FindingKismet]

Hi guys, this morning I was on the B&B forum and one of the ladies posted a link to her TTC vlog on YouTube. I watched her videos and loved them! She was just chatting about OPKs and such, and it was so nice to see a face and hear a voice to go with the great support we find here on the forum.

I was inspired. She is very young (only 20) and I got to thinking I could do something similar for the over 40 crowd. I'm camera-shy and tend to get bogged down in planning/paranoia, so before I could psych myself out I just did it. I made a little outline, figured out how to record with my webcam, and posted my first vlog.

If you want to check it out, here's the link https://youtu.be/uGYhKkTRS7E

Let me know if you have any suggestions.

 

[Juniperjules]

Hi guys, this morning I was on the B&B forum and one of the ladies posted a link to her TTC vlog on YouTube. I watched her videos and loved them! She was just chatting about OPKs and such, and it was so nice to see a face and hear a voice to go with the great support we find here on the forum.

I was inspired. She is very young (only 20) and I got to thinking I could do something similar for the over 40 crowd. I'm camera-shy and tend to get bogged down in planning/paranoia, so before I could psych myself out I just did it. I made a little outline, figured out how to record with my webcam, and posted my first vlog.

If you want to check it out, here's the link https://youtu.be/uGYhKkTRS7E

Let me know if you have any suggestions.

Hey Kismet!
I watched ur vlog! It's great, fantastic idea, I really enjoyed watching it.

 

[Emmi]

Hi guys, this morning I was on the B&B forum and one of the ladies posted a link to her TTC vlog on YouTube. I watched her videos and loved them! She was just chatting about OPKs and such, and it was so nice to see a face and hear a voice to go with the great support we find here on the forum.

I was inspired. She is very young (only 20) and I got to thinking I could do something similar for the over 40 crowd. I'm camera-shy and tend to get bogged down in planning/paranoia, so before I could psych myself out I just did it. I made a little outline, figured out how to record with my webcam, and posted my first vlog.

If you want to check it out, here's the link https://youtu.be/uGYhKkTRS7E

Let me know if you have any suggestions.

Thank you for that - really fabulous!!!! x

 

[Kat S]

Finding Kismet, I watched your vlog and it was GREAT!! You're a natural I subscribed to your vlogs so I'll continue watching there as well as here. Good luck!!