40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Vonn]

Weezy--I am thrilled for you!! Breathe a deep sigh of relief and do a little dance that you are nearly certain to be pregnant with a healthy little bug!

Pussycat--It's almost time! Thinking of you and hoping for a drama-free birth.

Terri--Have lots of fun in the sun!

 

[Pussycat1]

Weezy, amazing news, 12 weeks is such a milestone! I've emailed you. x
Well ladies tomorrow is the BIG day for us! I just want to thank you all for your help and support through my TTC journey and through my pregnancy (I know this can be hard when still TTC). My 10 year journey is almost over and tomorrow I meet my precious miracle girls! xx

 

[Peacenik]

Pussycat - good luck tomorrow!

 

[Vonn]

Tomorrow! What a journey it has been for you, pussycat. I can't wait for your magical day, just a few short hours away. Fx everything goes perfectly. I know you are sensitive to the fact that we are all ttc #1 on this thread & haven't had your experience yet, but I would love it if you introduced us to your girls when they arrive. You'll be able to provide us with one final inspiration!

 

[Weezy9]

Hi ladies, how's everyone doing?
Just a quick update. My harmony test showed I'm low risk to Down's syndrome (less than 1 in 10,000) so a real relief.....and it's a girl : )
Wish everyone luck in their cycles x

 

[terripeachy]

Congrats Weezy!!!
That's wonderful news!!

 

[Vonn]

Weezy--amazing news! I am so happy to hear that your pregnancy is progressing perfectly & that you found out you are having a girl. So sweet! How have you been feeling??

Hi to everyone else! Esp pussycat, if you are out there, one final update would be amazing to get!

AFM--I am having the longest luteal phase EVER. Currently at 13 DPO, but got a negative result on a frer with FMU. Wasn't really expecting a positive, but it's impossible to not have a little bit of hope. It must be the vitex I decided to try this cycle. Whenever AF arrives, I will start a mock cycle. Then we will be able to reserve a donor as we are going with DE IVF. I actually feel confident I will get pregnant. We got some financial help from DH's parents, so I don't feel like this will totally put us in the poor house. We are so grateful for that. I still can't stop with the sugar and get rid of this candida infection, and I now think there's a psychological component (self-punishment for not being able to get pg on my own, etc.) I just had this "revelation" and I'm going to find someone to help me get over myself. Ha!

 

[Peacenik]

Weezy: Congrats!

Pussycat: I agree, we'd love an update.

Vonn: DH and I decided on donor egg IVF this week and it's sort of freeing in a sense. I think I may have even narrowed it down to two potential countries (Czech Rep. or Poland). Now on to further research even though it is a bit overwhelming.

 

[Vonn]

Peacenik--I love the quote you have. It's a beautiful, important sentiment. I know that freeing feeling, it's like, "I think this will actually work!" Good for you guys.

By the way, I am in Minnesota, too! I will tell you that we are using CNY Fertility in Syracuse, New York. They and the Reproductive Medicine & Fertility Center in Colorado are the two US clinics I found that are actually more affordable for OE IVF. And for DE, CNY Fertility is by far the cheapest I found in-part because they have their own in-house donor bank. RMFC is as expensive for DE as the local Minn clinics (but way cheaper for OE IVF.) My math for local clinics for DE IVF was roughly $23,000. For CNY, it comes to about $15,200, including travel & 5 nights hotels for the two of us. I even researched monitoring clinics and averaged that in, so that number could change for you, depending on where you are & the Ob or RE clinic you use for monitoring.

I looked into traveling abroad and my math found it wasn't cheaper than this, once everything (meds, monitoring, travel) was totalled up. Plus, we would need to be gone longer and DH has terrible PTO at his job, so we'd have to calculate in him taking unpaid days off. I know some people roll going abroad for IVF into a vacation as well and I think that is a fantastic idea! (DH and I don't have money for European vacations right now, I do hope that changes one day...I've been a few places and would loooove to go back.)

One the other hand, money may not be that tight for you, so you don't need to worry as much about what is the absolute cheapest. That is lovely if it is the case! Then you wouldn't need the info above, so sorry for the long post! Don't feel like you need to explain your decision, I just thought I'd share my research. No pressure at all, I'm not trying to push my choice on you. GL to you!

 

[Peacenik]

Well hello fellow Minnesotan! I like that quote too - it took me awhile to get to the non-bitter point after my ectopic, but I feel like there's a shot this plan may work! I'd written off considering IVF or donor eggs because of the cost and I stumbled across donor embryos and doing it abroad and it's like a light switched on that this MAY be an option.


Thanks for sharing your research - I appreciate it actually because I hadn't seriously even considered the US. Isn't that nuts? The few things I did look at involved home studies for extra $$ and waiting lists and legal fees and I really just liked the quick part about doing it abroad. That was also when I was considering donor embryos so maybe I will have to look again. I have family near Vienna so I figure we can make a vacation out of it and stay with them a few days if we go that route. I've been to both Brno and Prague by my hubby hasn't and I've always wanted to take him. I got sidetracked by Poland a few days ago, but I think I've at least got it back to just Czech Republic. I'm way up north in MN and flying out of Winnipeg is about $700 - so about half the price of leaving from MSP. I've also looked at airbnbs and they are dirt cheap - like starting at $12/night just a room in a home and $30 private place so we'll probably end up doing that if we go this route. I'd like to stay in a room to get to know some random person there, but I'm not sure if hubby will go for it. Then again, I thought he'd think I'd lost it when over washing dishes I was like 'if I had the beginnings of a crazy idea would you rather know pre or post-research?" He was totally on board with this plan within five minutes. Miracles do happen. lol

When are you headed to NY?

Peacenik--I love the quote you have. It's a beautiful, important sentiment. I know that freeing feeling, it's like, "I think this will actually work!" Good for you guys.

By the way, I am in Minnesota, too! I will tell you that we are using CNY Fertility in Syracuse, New York. They and the Reproductive Medicine & Fertility Center in Colorado are the two US clinics I found that are actually more affordable for OE IVF. And for DE, CNY Fertility is by far the cheapest I found in-part because they have their own in-house donor bank. RMFC is as expensive for DE as the local Minn clinics (but way cheaper for OE IVF.) My math for local clinics for DE IVF was roughly $23,000. For CNY, it comes to about $15,200, including travel & 5 nights hotels for the two of us. I even researched monitoring clinics and averaged that in, so that number could change for you, depending on where you are & the Ob or RE clinic you use for monitoring.

I looked into traveling abroad and my math found it wasn't cheaper than this, once everything (meds, monitoring, travel) was totalled up. Plus, we would need to be gone longer and DH has terrible PTO at his job, so we'd have to calculate in him taking unpaid days off. I know some people roll going abroad for IVF into a vacation as well and I think that is a fantastic idea! (DH and I don't have money for European vacations right now, I do hope that changes one day...I've been a few places and would loooove to go back.)

One the other hand, money may not be that tight for you, so you don't need to worry as much about what is the absolute cheapest. That is lovely if it is the case! Then you wouldn't need the info above, so sorry for the long post! Don't feel like you need to explain your decision, I just thought I'd share my research. No pressure at all, I'm not trying to push my choice on you. GL to you!

 

[Vonn]

Traveling to Winnipeg to fly abroad is half the price?!?!? Thank you for sharing this with me! I had no idea. It would be a long drive to get to Winnipeg, but for $700 in savings, I would so do it. Maybe I will get back to Europe someday. That is amazing news. Oh, and my calculations were all for donor eggs. I believe donor embryos are much cheaper. Sounds like you've got stuff worked out, though, that's great! It's a wonderful idea to share with DH some of the places you've been. Are you thinking Reprofit?

 

[Peacenik]

Yep, Reprofit is on my narrow list. I emailed a few more this weekend so I'll wait to see what their response is. Winnipeg is often cheaper for us to fly out of or if it is a similar price, it sometimes has better flights. We went to Jamaica a few years ago and it was like four stops from MSP and a direct flight from Winnipeg so now I always look.

 

[Peacenik]

I'm so annoyed at my body right now. I had my first mammogram last week because I knew I needed it if I am going to do the donor egg thing. They didn't have anything to compare it to and said not to be surprised if I get called back. Well, I did and went today and now I have to go for a biopsy. Probably nothing and the doc isn't terribly concerned and said I could choose biopsy or do a follow up mammogram in 6 months. I'm terrible because my first thought wasn't 'holy crap I have cancer' it was 'this is going to delay my donor egg business.' It's also really bad timing because I'm changing clinics on Feb. 1 since it's a 3 month wait for a yearly pap smear at my current one. Uggg.

 

[Pussycat1]

Hi ladies, so sorry for the delay in updating, we've been a little bit busy with our two beautiful daughters, I have to pinch myself every day to make sure this is all true! Iris Emma and Lily Sally were born 15th Jan at 36 weeks and both are doing amazingly well. They weighed 4lb 9 and 4lb 14 so tiny, but didn't need any special care and we went home after 4 nights (would have been 3 but I wanted to stay for an extra days support). C-section was very straight forward and I was up walking the next morning and my scar is tiny and healing well. I'm even almost back to the size I was before pregnant! Because the girls are so tiny we are having difficulties BF and I'm currently expressing and bottle feeding. I'm coming to terms with that as I really wanted to BF, however their health and weight gain is most important. It may still happen. It's exhausting but so worth it and I thank my donor and Reprofit every day for what they have given us.
Weezy, great news on the Harmony and a girl!! So pleased for you. x
Vonn, I saw you'd posted on the DE page, the ladies over there are so supportive and success rates a real inspiration.
Peacenik, if you're going down DE route id recommend the thread 'inconceivable and beyond'.
All I can say about DE is now that Lily and Iris are with us (13 days old today), the fact that they're from DE seems irrelevant. xx

 

[terripeachy]

Oh Pussycat, that is such wonderful news. I love their names, and you sound so, so happy. I'm just over the moon for you. Take care of those babies and check in when you can.

 

[Peacenik]

Pussycat thanks for the update - love the names and congrats!

I'm devastated/furious with my hubby right now. He was fully on board with operation Czech Republic and for the past few weeks I've been researching online and looking at hotel options and we've been talking about what we want to see/do while there. Last night he drops it on me that he isn't ready. I don't even know how to react to that other than I cried for several hours last night and don't want to look at him today, which was great considering I had my breast biopsy this morning too. He's not as big as a jerk as it sounds, I think he's just scared. He said he was FINALLY getting to the point where every little thing didn't remind him of the baby we lost and that he can't do it again. But good lord, why did you not tell me this earlier before I was excited as heck? I feel like I've been punched in the gut.

 

[Vonn]

Peacenik--You have had a rough few days. I hope DH comes around soon, or at least communicates better with you about his feelings. It's hard to be on the same page with DH about this all the time cuz it's so emotional for both people in different ways. Hugs to you both. And I hope the breast biopsy went well. Treat yourself...you deserve a break. 😊

Pussycat--I'm so happy for your perfect little family with Lily and Iris. Awwwwww.... You are an inspiration! Since they are identicals, do you have any fear of not keeping them straight? Or do they have some differences?

AFM--finally got AF, so I will start a mock cycle to check baseline, take estrace & then check labs and ultrasound again. Never been on estrace so I'll be curious to see what it does.

 

[terripeachy]

Peacenik-I didn't know what to write when I read your post, so I sat on it for a while. You sound like me and my hubs-so excited and ready to get going, and then whammo, out of nowhere he says one thing and it's like a shot to the heart. I hope that he sees how upset you are and decides to just do what makes you happy. I'll keep you in my prayers and I know you two will work it out. Nothing can be easy, ya know?

 

[Pussycat1]

Peacenik, that's do tough. I think this whole process is hard on both partners but in different ways. It took me quite a bit of convincing to get him to agree to go to CR for treatment as he'd had enough. Enough of his own disappointment and enough of seeing me disappointed and distraught after each fdilure and feeling like he had to be strong for me. He didn't get that it would be do much worse for me not to have tried at rather than try and fail.
Vonn, the girls are identical and we still have their hospital tags on as we're terrified of mixing them up! I'm pretty sure I can tell them apart, however that's only because Iris is smaller, however she's fast catching up with her sister and there's not much difference now! My friends little girl us making me friendship bands for their ankles so we can be sure! x

 

[Peacenik]

Thanks ladies. We talked quite a bit last night and he's a mess right now. Finally, three years later, he's opened up about how much the ectopic impacted him. Any plans are on hold until he gets his act together and sees things my way. I think he freaked when I started talking about going this summer. It was too fast for him to adjust and I should have probably known that, but he seemed so agreeable I didn't want to stop to question. Summer is good for us work wise so that's why I was pushing for it. I told him he better hurry up though as I don't want to wait until I'm 49 and 364 days to try this option! It was a good chat though, we both suck at talking about our feelings and are going to try to do better. It shouldn't be this hard. I'm disappointed, but no longer raging pissed at him, so that's good. He was literally eating crackers last night and it was driving me nuts (PMS on top of all of this) and I left the room so I wouldn't freak out on him. We both laughed pretty hard later when I told him I left because I was almost to the 'bitch eating crackers' point with him (hopefully you've seen that meme).