40+ and Trying for 1st? Join in!!

[Pussycat1]

Peacenik, I'm glad you talked and are now clear on where each other is coming from. We're also not good at talking about feelings, it's stupid really and I don't know how we all got to be this way. You both have to be ready for this and tbh as you're using a donor, it's her age that's important not yours, though I do get the not wanting to be too old! I'm 45 now and never dreamed it would take this long, but cliched as it is, it's how you feel inside that's important and inside I'm 25! x

 

[Emmi]

Okay, this is really weird, something brought me here today.... Pussycat, you have just had twins?????? I am beyond happy for you, how absolutely wonderful!! Enjoy every second, it's magical!!

Xxx

 

[Peacenik]

Good news as my biopsy came back fine. Hubby is still pondering the Czech option. Not against it, just not sure he can handle the possibility that it may not work. But, he's talking about it more, so that is good.

 

[Vonn]

Peacenik--glad to hear the biopsy came back okay. Sounds like DH just needs a little time to process. I hope he comes around. Gotta try to get the results...

AFM--nothing going on here, except I've got green estrace tablets leaking out of my you-know-what. Go back in on Friday for a check to see what they are doing for my lining.

Anyone else got anything interesting going on???

 

[Pussycat1]

Okay, this is really weird, something brought me here today.... Pussycat, you have just had twins?????? I am beyond happy for you, how absolutely wonderful!! Enjoy every second, it's magical!!

Xxx

Hi Emmi, great to hear from you! Yes it finally happened for me and our girls are just over 4 weeks old. Magical and miraculous! I hope all is well with you? x

 

[monsim]

Hi all I'm new on here but we have been trying for almost 2 years now naturally and with nothing happening we have both had tests and I am fine my husband is has has sa done twice with good results he is 40 and I am 37 we are beyond despair now we talk about it every month about giving up but always live in hope I have been doing basal temp and following everything but I have irregular cycle so trying to get everything timed properly is a nightmare. My husband has ED so regular sex is an issue we have to plan everything I see a lot of positive conversations on here any advice would be appreciated.

 

[monsim]

We have tried everything to improve taking pregnacare well women and all kinds of vitamins and diets. Being in Dubai we have access to clomid and have both tried it but with no success. Any suggestions would be appreciated. As we talk about it often and my husband is very open about it. But we both feel that the stress of trying is getting too much. We have considered iui and ivf have done plenty of research. #pussycat1 which clinic did you you use for your treatment in Czech. And congratulations on your twins.

 

[Pussycat1]

We have tried everything to improve taking pregnacare well women and all kinds of vitamins and diets. Being in Dubai we have access to clomid and have both tried it but with no success. Any suggestions would be appreciated. As we talk about it often and my husband is very open about it. But we both feel that the stress of trying is getting too much. We have considered iui and ivf have done plenty of research. #pussycat1 which clinic did you you use for your treatment in Czech. And congratulations on your twins.

First of all welcome to the thread, you will find lots of support, even if it has been a little quiet lately. I'm sorry to hear the trouble you've been having, you're not alone. It's good that you've had tests done etc and taken the first steps to get help, as we get older it does get harder and I would urge you to seek professional help and consider IUI ASAP as thinks can change quickly over the age of 40. Have you had your AMH and hormone levels checked? If not I'd make this my next step. The clinic I used in CR was Reprofit and wouldn't hesitate to recommend them. I also looked at GEST in Prague. Serum in Athens is also a popular one.
Best of luck and don't despair there is help out there but sometimes things just take time. x

 

[monsim]

We have tried everything to improve taking pregnacare well women and all kinds of vitamins and diets. Being in Dubai we have access to clomid and have both tried it but with no success. Any suggestions would be appreciated. As we talk about it often and my husband is very open about it. But we both feel that the stress of trying is getting too much. We have considered iui and ivf have done plenty of research. #pussycat1 which clinic did you you use for your treatment in Czech. And congratulations on your twins.

First of all welcome to the thread, you will find lots of support, even if it has been a little quiet lately. I'm sorry to hear the trouble you've been having, you're not alone. It's good that you've had tests done etc and taken the first steps to get help, as we get older it does get harder and I would urge you to seek professional help and consider IUI ASAP as thinks can change quickly over the age of 40. Have you had your AMH and hormone levels checked? If not I'd make this my next step. The clinic I used in CR was Reprofit and wouldn't hesitate to recommend them. I also looked at GEST in Prague. Serum in Athens is also a popular one.
Best of luck and don't despair there is help out there but sometimes things just take time. x

Thank you yes had AMH checked and fine I'm ovulating I am now on CD 50 which has never happened before done 3 HMP and bfn my hormone levels have been checked and was told everything is normal but I was reading somewhere that a tilted uterus could be a possibility.

Thank you for your response we have also had a look at GEST and it seems really good but yes we are seriously thinking it might be the only option. IUI seems to be the best next step.

 

[Jean40]

I'm back with nothing new. The fertility center I was referred to by my RE is too costly and they haven't started a donor embryo program YET, possibly this summer. My RE office has had issues with their frozen embryos and have been thawing out the donor embryos to see if they survive & progress further. NONE have survived thawing (which probably explains why mine didn't progress too far once implanted) and they only have two left plus two more couples ahead of me, so I have to look elsewhere. I just sent an email to CNY in NY about their donor embryo program. I guess convenience is just out the door now.

I am trying to get into the MFM doctor (high risk) for pre-conception counseling, which my GYN has told me for over a year to go see. I have to call GYN back and have her send over my records and a referral (um, I guess a WRITTEN referral because she's told me 3 times to go see her). The larger clinic near here is requiring me to get the MFM permission even though I'm not over 45, so if I have to wait until their donor embryo program is up and going, then I'll already have it.

I am going to call the RI in Chicago whenever I get time, which is greatly lacking at work. Usually I have LOTS of time in January to get these kinds of things done, but not this year. Busier than ever, unfortunately. I am also getting into a time crunch again this year because my supervisor (who had back surgery last year) is going to have neck surgery in April, so he'll be off for 3 months and we will once again be short staffed. If I am going to have to travel to NY, I will need even more time off than if I were just doing the 4 hour roundtrip to the RE here.

Once again, I am in a lack of money situation. I was originally told by the larger fertility group that donor egg would cost about $6000 plus my meds (which I already have). I thought that was reasonable. Oh no. That was only PART of the cost! After getting all the paperwork & talking with the financial person there, it is $20,000-30,000! I don't have that kind of money! Financial was talking about personal loans & all sorts of things I wasn't willing to do. I just spent the last of my savings on the donor embryo plus getting a new water heater (kind of essential). I do get a $300 bonus in a few weeks, am waiting for my $1400+ refund on the Bravelle to show up, and still need to finish the taxes to see how much I get back (should have a LOT of medical deductions). I keep waiting to win the lottery or some unknown rich relative to leave me money, but that isn't going to happen.

 

[Vonn]

monsim--welcome to our group! I'm sorry to hear of your troubles, but you are not alone. Wonky cycles are an indication that something is off, but it is really hard to figure it out when tests come back normal. I know a tilted uterus is something that people use maya abdominal massage to address. I also know of people going to chiropractic for that as well, as crazy as that sounds. The IVF clinic I'll be using believes the #1 cause of problems is inflammation in the body, mainly from the SAD (standard American diet). It sounds like you are not in the US, so hopefully you aren't surrounded by the same crap masquerading as food that we have here. But there's some evidence out there that cutting the sugar and carbs can make a big difference in health. I saw a study about this & improved IVF rates, but I can't remember where I saw it. In terms of clinics, I saw something in a thread on the Assisted Conception page about a clinic in South Africa that a lot of Australian women use. I can't find the thread and don't recall the name of the clinic. For some reason I keep thinking it was in Cape Town, but I'm not sure. That seems like not super far for you, so maybe that would be a possibility (if you can figure out what the clinic is). Those are my thoughts for now!!

Jean--thanks for the update. GL in all your research and deciding on next steps. It's such a bummer that everything costs so damn much money. I hope you win the lottery!

Peacenik--how're things?

Hi to everyone else! Anything fun going on out there?

AFM--My lining responded well to estrace, but it seemed to have stopped my follicle growth. Then, after I stopped it, several days later I started bleeding. Too light to be AF, I think, but pretty heavy spotting for a day, then lighter for several more. I have no idea if that was a withdrawal bleed of some kind, or an early AF. Not that it really matters, but I figured we'd try as much as we could for free. The donor we want is cycling right now and will hopefully be done around March 18. Then we can request her, though others are interested according to our nurse. And it will be her last cycle. In a couple weeks, I will turn into a total harrasser, calling every day to see if she's had her retrieval. I do not want to miss out on her!

 

[terripeachy]

Vonn-Why do you want this donor so badly? Give us the deets!

 

[Jean40]

What clinic are you using Vonn? I'm looking at that one in NY and more at the frozen egg bank there. I got an email back from them & I think they only have one embryo donor available, so if that's the case, forget it. We'll see. I think I need to do a phone consultation with them but finding time is the problem. My work schedule the rest of this week is jammed full. I must thank the secretary for that. Not sure why we couldn't spread it out more.

AFM, I am officially going to be 3 months past the methotrexate shot next week, so I can actually think about getting pregnant again. I was on BCP this last month and just got my period today, so I am really wanting to know when I can move along with any sort of testing that needs done. Most of the stuff I had done for the last FET needs redone after March.

BTW, I am working on my taxes and WOW, I have already quite a lot for the medical and I haven't gotten to the big stuff yet. Just the amount of miles driven is astounding to me (over 5,000). I went through the pharmacy stuff, yikes! Such a shame my horribly bad health insurance with such a very high deductible doesn't cover anything past diagnostic for fertility.

 

[Vonn]

Terri--our donor rocks! Well, I should say our "prospective" donor. We can't reserve her until she is done with her cycle. I just found out today that we are #2 on the informal list for her on her last cycle and #1 hasn't even decided if they are using CNY-F for sure yet. I believe on all 4 of her previous cycles, she produced enough eggs for at least 2, one time 3, recipients. We'll see how she does on this current cycle. So, she produces a lot of eggs and has had a lot of positives. Proven success is reassuring & important to us. We also wanted someone who has somewhat similar physical characteristics to me and she does. We don't look like sisters or anything, but, for example, she's got blue eyes, as do I (and my DH). Our plan is to be pretty open about using donor eggs, but at the same time, I don't really want to have strangers and casual acquaintances nosily questioning how it was possible for me to give birth to baby that has no physical similarity to DH or myself. We want to tell people on our own terms, not be forced into it. Also, we wanted a donor that values education and she's finishing her master's degree in social work this spring. I like that she wants to work in social service, I find that admirable, and I feel like I understand that mindset. (I was a teacher straight out of undergrad.) And the family history of disease was pretty clean, she didn't/doesn't have much in the way of health problems. That about does it! Thanks for asking!

Jean--We are planning to go to CNY-F. I didn't know they had such a small donor embryo selection. I will warn you that I had a recent freak out because their success rates are quite low. I am reassured after speaking with the nurse that it is because they truly turn no one away, though she says they are honest with people about their chances. They will help give a chance to women in their 50s, men with really bad sperm issues, women with uterine conditions. And because they cost less, people with very dim chances are more willing to go there as compared with more expensive clinics. She told me because I have no uterine issues and DH has normal sperm, she puts my chance of success at 56%. (Please let us get multiple fertilized eggs so we can get a few chances! Hence why we want a proven success donor.) I can't recall if you have seriously considered out of the country to Europe or Mexico. They may be somewhat comparable in price, or at least less than most clinics in the US. I don't know how they deal with embryos, though.

 

[Jean40]

I'm having a hard time finding places with donor embryos unless you go through the entire home study/adoption type of stuff. I really do NOT want to deal with that again. It's just too much added cost for something they really do not need. Added fees for agencies, too. It's ridiculous the hoops you have to jump through for all this stuff.

The lady emailed me back and said there were more embryo donors and that they were putting them up, but I still only see the one Indian couple on there. My family would really have a cow if that happened. I also don't want nosey people asking why my baby is a totally different race if I'm white. I also have some very backwoods prejudiced family members, unfortunately. They would shun a child of a different race. I was not brought up that way, but they were.

I just looked at my work calendar next week and it is also jammed pack. I am NOT happy about it. Then my own doctor is sending me tons of charity work (I was volunteered for it by a doctor I work for, I did NOT volunteer myself) AGAIN that has to be done in just a few weeks. I have no idea when I'm going to have time to do it. Don't get me wrong, I do think it's good to do this kind of work for these particular people, but I just don't have time right now and it is seriously stressing me out. I was supposed to have last Monday off, but I had to go in for 3 hours and have had to come in early and/or stay late every day this week, so I really didn't even get any time off.

 

[Hopn41mor]

Hello...I'm new here to the board! I see where a few of you are looking into donor embryos and wasn't sure if you've heard of a program called California Conceptions. They use young donor eggs and create embryos using donated sperm from banks...so it's a double donor program. They have a flat fee of $12,500 and you get 3 attempts...most everything included except medication/monitoring for each cycle. They also have a 100% refund program that you can try to qualify for. They have very high success rates within the 3 attempts....not much of a wait time either, typically around 3 months once you have your consult. I have not consulted with them yet, but have talked with many women who have been successful getting pregnant and delivering with their program.

Just wanted to share that info with you all...didn't mean to jump in Wishing everyone the best in their ttc journeys!

 

[Emmi]

Okay, this is really weird, something brought me here today.... Pussycat, you have just had twins?????? I am beyond happy for you, how absolutely wonderful!! Enjoy every second, it's magical!!

Xxx

Hi Emmi, great to hear from you! Yes it finally happened for me and our girls are just over 4 weeks old. Magical and miraculous! I hope all is well with you? x

I am totally overjoyed for you, wonderful wonderful news. You forget about the tears when you hold such beautiful miracles. I am great thank you, Alexander is amazing, such a cheeky monkey!! And can you believe that he will be 1 in 2 weeks time... crazy!!

But enjoy every second. My Boy is my heart and my joy, am sure you feel the same.

Xxx

 

[Jean40]

Well, they finally put some more donors on there and I only see 2 embryo donors that look ok to me. I am going to do the phone consult and see. The price is still too costly for me to do more. I have added up that I spent about $18,000 on medical bills last year NOT covered by my health insurance. Ridiculous! Of course, that includes my Echo and MRI that I had to pay out of pocket since I hadn't met the deductible. Hopefully no more MRIs in the near future!

I finally got the door to door from mapquest to see which of these ones in NY are closest to me and one of them is just under 6 hours drive from here. Not as long as I expected, but still quite a drive. Oh, and that's one way

Edit: I am listening to one of the videos/podcasts/whatever that this Dr. Kiltz does. I like him already. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=08XSAlELvsM
I already know most of this, have read most of those books he already refers to, trying to figure out why I was still having issues after cutting out so many common foods with my celiac diagnosis. My problem is definitely that it takes a VERY long time for the small intestine to heal after decades of damage (I should have been diagnosed almost 30 years ago, but no one knew anything back then). It took me 3 years to feel 60% better, but I still cannot eat most foods, even as I'm healing. I had to juice fruits and veggies for 2 years to get any nutrition because my body was so damaged, it would not digest them. Then I went to pureed foods. I can now eat salads, but for a long time, I could not digest even a lettuce leaf. I have to take tons of vitamin supplements to keep my levels ok. I still cannot digest meats without taking special enzymes. I just noticed my nails have signs I am still not getting enough protein, so I am going to have to start using brown rice protein powder to make smoothies to add to my diet. I know most people don't understand the extent of what I've had to go through (most celiacs can just cut out gluten, some also do dairy), but most people haven't had damage to the extent I have. I almost died. I will always have issues with some things due to the long term damage this has caused, including damage to my nervous system. I eat as clean as I can, but it's hard to do, expensive, time consuming to prepare things from scratch when you work full time. I always have to look at the labels on everything I put in my mouth. Ok, rant over. I am tired, so my mouth(fingers) run off into tangents. lol

 

[terripeachy]

Is that your typing after the video, Jean? hee hee. It's funky and underlined.
Hopefully you can save up and get to NY for at least one more try.

 

[tracieben]

Hi can anyone help im 37 and trying for my second baby my first child is 16 my husband has a very low sperm count and we were told it would be almost impossible to concieve we have used a trusted sperm donor 3 times but with no success but i think im confused with ovulation time i have a 26 day cycle i have checked around day 14 as i thought it was that but now i have read it could be earlier i had a home fertility test and my fsh level was okay can anyone help please